//------------------------------// // 3 - Fetch! Roll Over! Good Boy! // Story: Embers of an Empire // by Beware The Carpenter //------------------------------// “Explain to me one more time how this works?” Asked Somnambula tentatively as together they finished breakfast. “When I was a kid I had a dog named Ahuizotl who’d grab sticks and run away hoping I’d chase him for them. If I didn’t he would start grabbing whatever I was playing until I chased him down and got it back. Then he died and a genius psychopath thought that I’d fall in love with him if he built me a super sophisticated clay golem as a replacement. Ahuizotl II acts similar but he has a wondrous knack for digging up magical artifacts instead of sticks and is bolder with the things he’ll steal from me. Usually, he just takes my hat but if that doesn’t work he’ll steal my wagon or kidnap the last person I talked to as a hostage.” “Seriously?” “My last coltfriend went to the restaurant's bathroom and never came back. I went home thinking he’d ditched me and didn’t realize until the next day what had happened. Took three more days to track him down and rescue him from a snake pit and by then he was pretty pissed I hadn’t mentioned Ahuizotl to him earlier. Broke up with me on the spot.” “Good.” muttered Somnambula, “You belong to Sombra now, to the exclusion of all others; unless you’re spying and need to whore yourself to get information or assassinate someone.” “Errmm…” Daring started to mutter something but then decided it wasn’t worth it, “So anyways, on the first Saturday of each month I’ll go chase him for whatever he’s found, sometimes more often if there’s a special holiday. Usually we finish in a day but sometimes the games can go on all week.” “How do we find him?” “That’s not the problem. He usually finds me.” Daring put down an empty bowl started trotting into the jungle in the vague direction she’d seen Ahuizotl ’s quarry and began chanting, “I’m going on a Zotl hunt… gonna catch a big one.” ……………………………………………………………………………………………. “That’s not a dog!” Somnambula squawked as a tree trunk came crashing down inches over their head. “Sure it is.” Daring smiled as she hurled her boomerang. Ahuizotl ducked, then deliberately took two large steps to the side, laughed maniacally, and monologued about Daring’s bad aim until the boomerang circled back and hit him in the back of the head with a soft ‘clunk’. She might as well have thrown a branch to knock down a city wall but Ahuizotl howled in agony, turned, and ran off into the swamp and Daring gave chase. …………………………………………………………………………………………………….. There was a river, a waterfall and a waterwheel that connected to a bunch of stones making them pop up and down in the water every few seconds. Signs on the side of the river warned of ‘pony eating piranhas’ in the water and ‘giant wasps’ that were attracted to wingbeats of pegasi. Daring had to admit, either Ahuizotl had either been practicing his painting skills or else had commissioned a professional artist to draw up the fake signs. She snapped a picture of both of them just in case she decided to use them in her next book. “Tell me more about this ‘genius psychopath’ who built Ahuizotl.” “We are not talking about Terra Clave.” Insisted Daring studying the rhythm of the rocks, “That’s final.” …………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Terra was… like Ahuizotl but a hundred times worse. On my nineteenth birthday, my mom got me a board game where you explored an underground tomb crawling with zombies that you needed to explore for treasure. It was fun, I liked it and after I played it every day for the first week or so Terra started disappearing more than usual. Two months later he told me to follow him and started leading me out into the jungle but he was acting crazier than usual and kept cackling to himself. A few miles in I stopped and told him I wouldn’t go any further until he explained where he was taking me. He said I’d just have to trust him and when I turned to leave he knocked me out with a stun spell, carried me into the bottom of an abandoned mine and left me there with a lantern, club, and nineteen actual bucking zombies with candles in their eye sockets and ‘Happy Birthday Daring Do!’ carved into their skulls!” “This displeased you?” “Yes!” “… who did he kill?” “What? No one he just dug some old corpses out of the town's graveyard that he didn’t think anyone would miss and pulled their teeth out so their bites wouldn’t kill me.” Daring was distracted by Somnambula and didn’t see the tripwire until it was too late. Gears twisted and a rolling boulder got inserted into the lava tube behind them. Somnambula was still asking something more about Terra but Daring ignored her and dashed deeper into the hole. There was a junction up ahead and Daring naturally swerved to the tunnel that wound uphill and was too small for the boulder to follow. It gained on them but before it was dangerously close she managed to skid into the safety of the narrow chamber. Hey, look a treasure chest! Ahuizotl usually hid these much more carefully, she wondered if – the latch flew open and two small darts flew into Daring’s side. ‘Darn’ she thought as she lost consciousness. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………... They woke with their arms tied to a pole behind their backs and a mask looking into a circle of big cats who were also tied to poles with colorful masks strapped to their faces and Ahuizotl, dressed like a dragon in a trenchcoat smoking an enormous pipe, strolling around the edges while fiddling with his favouriate monocle. “You’re awake,” he smiled gleefully, “Let us begin. Every five minutes I will walk around this circle, every time I pass you you may guess the color of your mask. If you are correct I will set you free and you may take my treasure. If you guess wrong, even once, I eat you. My feline companions will play alongside you completely rationally but you may not communicate in any way and there are no reflective surfaces in the room. Your time starts now.” Thirty-one felines? Daring did a quick count of the cats and did a double-take at the four new ones almost hidden behind their masks. ‘Rasa had kittens!’ she squeaked internally. Daring hadn’t seen Rasa since throwing her off a raft and had been worried she’d hurt her. Somnambula pointed to the book on the fake alter, ‘That is Welkin’s grimoire, her phylactery!’ ‘See, I told you my dog was good at finding magic.’ ‘That shrouded cultist standing next to the altar, is he under a spell?’ Daring watched for a moment then shook her head, ‘He’s a clockwork construction. Basically harmless but smashing through a bunch of them can be pretty fun.’ ‘The sword he’s wearing is yours. I know how to solve this riddle, when you approach to take the book, take the sword as well.’ ………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. “Daring!” Ahuizotl whined as he plodded along behind Daring as she trotted away with the cats running beside her, “You were only meant to win a single prize. You can have the sword if you want but leave me one.” “Nope. I need them both now.” “I have something really special planned for our next campaign session and don’t have time to finish the dungeon and find another prize that’s cool.” “I once chased you for three weeks through Flame Geyser Swamp over a freaking jar of dirt! I’m sure you’ll come up with something.” “Damn you Daring Do!” “Damn you too, I’ll see you next month!” “But Darrriinng!” Pietpiet pounced on her, growling as she pinned her down and licked the side of her face. Usually, Daring stayed around to catch up and meet Rasa’s new kittens but today she was too busy. She flipped Pietpiet off her and kissed her on the forehead, “We’ll play next time, I promise.” and flew away before any of the other cats could pounce.