//------------------------------//
// Chapter 39: Attempted Affection and its Aftermath 
// Story: Harry Potter and the Prancing of Ponies 
// by The Guy Who Writes 
//------------------------------//

"You have decided against bringing your pupil?" his employer asked after exiting her bedchambers.

"I am told he will arrive at dinner, once his homework is complete," Riddle answered. "He has been given a potion to allow him to stay awake for the night."

"Then let us make haste. I would like to take care of something before we eat."

They walked through the hallways rather quickly, then made an expected turn at an unexpected time. This direction would take them to Night Court, where they normally went after dinner. It confused the escorting guards, though they know better than to protest.

Mr. Tome silently strode along. It was the same eight hours of work. So long as it's not boring, he didn't care how it was spent. 

"Are you expecting a petitioner?" he asked after his mind offered the hypothesis.

"No," said his employer. Two large doors opened and closed, sealing them inside a room that could not be scried from the outside. But rather than walking to her throne, she simply turned to face him. "I have a question, and I thought you might want it asked privately."

"I might not answer," he said. "Then again, maybe I will. What do you wish to ask?"

"Are..." she began, then hesitated. She looked both hopeful and guarded, like she was afraid of her own hope turning out to be false. "Are you a thestral, Mystery Book?"

"Almost five months," he answered.

"Beg pardon?"

"That is how long it took. Though you are still to be congratulated on figuring it out before any-"

In the next instant, many things happened in quick succession.

The incident began when the tall, magically powerful being made a sudden dash towards him, as if to attack.

On instinct born from many battles, and using body motions practiced in recent martial training, he ducked her grab, put his front hooves on the ground, and bucked a back leg upward, all in one motion. After he felt his hoof collide with fur and flesh, he continued the roll (aided by broomstick bones) and put himself at distance from his attacker.

He jumped to his hooves, drew a stick from his cloak-

"Mystery!" came a magically augmented voice, sounding pained. "Why-"

-and snapped the portkey, delivering him to a safehouse far away from Canterlot.







"...I do have a way of contacting him. But we'll have to go somewhere private. And you'll have to ask your guards not to peek..."







Approximately thirty minutes later, a silver equinoid appeared before him.

Is there a way to ward against Patronus messages? He knew of no such method, despite all his lore. Perhaps he should invent the spell.

"Mr. Tome," said the patronus in Mr. Silver's voice. "Princess Celestia says that there's been a misunderstanding and asks that you return to the palace."

Hah. Like that would work.

The silver shape of a pony stood still, as if waiting to receive a reply.

"Tell Mr. Silver that I do not care for Celestia's meddling. This is between myself and my former employer. If you are going to convey messages, convey hers. Ask what she hoped to accomplish by attacking me without warning."

The message-bearing spell disappeared for a time, then reappeared again. "Princess Luna won't come out of her room. Celestia says her sister says she didn't attack you, but she won't say anything else. Celestia thinks the two of you can clear it up if you talk to each other."

"Tell her that if she wants me to put myself at risk, she will have to make it worth my while."

Not that he was actually in true danger, nor was he actually fearful of any risk. He had a horcrux. But it was the principle of the matter.

The Patronus disappeared again for a time.

"She asks what you want."

"Tell her she'll owe me a favour."

...

"She says she'll owe you a favour if you can get her sister to come out of her room. I'll add that she means through conversation, not physical or magical force."

"Fine. I shall be there in ten minutes."

Even as the silver pony disappeared from his safehouse, he Apparated to one of his standard Canterlot landing zones – an alley warded by a notice-me-not enchantment – and trotted to the palace.

Give them the false sense of security that he can't simply appear directly in the palace, right next to a princess's bedchambers. Walking was easy enough.

The Princess of the Sun stood outside her sister's door, surrounded by guards, looking apprehensive and angry. He'd never seen that emotion from her before.

"If you are upset with me," he began, "why request my return?"

"Because my sister will not speak with me about it," Celestia said, facial features tense. "She wishes to speak with you."

"Has she said why she wishes to speak with me? She did not seem like she wished to speak at the end of our last conversation."

"I did!" protested an amplified voice, muffled by the closed door. It was only then that he noticed the eavesdropping charm, though the others might simply think she has good hearing. 

He turned to the door. More specifically, he turned to face the charm. He walked right up to and spoke into it. "You believe an attack conveys a desire for conversation?"







Princess Luna flinched at the voice that spoke directly into her hearing spell.

First, she reduced the spell's intensity.

Then she tried to collect herself enough for another reply.

This 'morning' has been a whirlwind of emotions, including but not limited to the overwhelming joy she'd felt when her fool had turned out to be a thestral all along, the subsequent painful buck and departure, the crushing fear that he was gone forever, and the desperate confusion at what she had done wrong.

"I was not trying to attack you," she managed to say with her usual dignity, though her voice trembled slightly.

"You do not call that an attack?" he asked sarcastically. "Then what would you call a sudden lunge towards another pony?"

That was enough for her to abandon her attempts at dignity.

"I was trying to HUG YOU!" she shouted, strongly enough to blow the doors open and bring her face to face with her fool.

...

"Oh," he said, face shifting from his standard severe scowl into something more disgusted.

"Oh?" she echoed. "OH? THAT is all you have to say?"

"More or less. I don't care for physical affection."

"Everypony on Equus cares for physical affection!"

"Not I."

There was a long, terrible silence during which she consulted her old element and confirmed for a second time that, yes, he was being honest.

"You don't care for physical affection?" she asked, still unable to believe it. "That is like saying you do not care for breathing! What parent would raise their child that way? How could such a horrible thing have been allowed to happ-"

"My parents did not raise me any way. My birth mother died in the birthing, and I did not learn of my birth father until well after I became an adult. I grew up in an orphanage."

"The caretaker then. How could he-"

"She was not particularly caring."

"The other colts and fillies-"

"Feared me, for reasons beyond my control." He made a motion as if he were shrugging wings, calling attention to them even though they were concealed by his cloak.

...

Oh.

...

Oh.

For perhaps the first time since she met him, the mysterious pony who stood before her made sense. Complete and utter sense. Perfect sense.

That explained it.

That explained him.

She had felt a slight bit of deception at the end there, right when he shrugged his wings, but she could hardly blame him for keeping the full truth to himself. It was likely very painful to recall the fear and shunning from his peers – which to a small colt feels like hatred and scorn.

Ignorance of thestrals is still plenty prevalent in this day and age. She would not be surprised in the slightest if the parentless colts and fillies had bullied the 'bat pony'. Combine that with a negligent caretaker, who might not have put a stop to it...

It was possible the thestral who stood before her had never experienced a single loving embrace his entire life. Or... or any embrace at all. If he did have physical contact with other ponies when he was young, it was likely the receiving end of a buck.

There were tears in her eyes. They were no longer angry or frustrated tears.

Before, she couldn't imagine how any pony could see an attempted hug as a threat.

Now, she couldn't imagine Mystery Book seeing a swiftly approaching pony as anything other than a threat. 

"Tia? Could you please leave us? And take the guards?"

"Of course, sister. Come, everypony. Let us return to dinner."

"That include me?" asked a colt's voice.

"Yes."

"Can I say something to my mentor before we go?"

Tia looked through the door, and Luna nodded.

"I suggest you refrain from annoying me," the thestral warned. "Particularly if what you are about to say has to do with a certain lesson you wanted to teach, which I already refused."

The young colt hesitated. Then he spoke. "I'll try. But it is about that. The barrier between you and the charm... well, if you ever do manage to cast it, I suspect you'll have to get over your disgust at the idea of a hug."

At his mentor's expression-

"I'm not saying you'll have to like hugs. But my understanding leads me to believe that you can't be resentful about them. Can you at least try to be emotionally neutral?"

"I make no promises," her fool said dismissively.

When it was just the two of them, Luna spoke. "I understand if you refuse, but would you mind walking forward and allowing the door to be closed behind you? I would prefer not to speak with such distance between us."

"Are you going to attempt to hug me again?"

She shook her head. "I promise to do nothing of the sort. Not without asking first."

He snorted, walked forward, and allowed the door to be closed behind him. "Why did you attempt it?" he inquired, though he did not sound like he enjoyed the act of asking that particular question.

"I was overwhelmed by happiness," she answered honestly. "And I wished to hug my sudden source of joy."

"My mere species made you happy?" he asked, eyebrows deeply furrowed. He did not sound or look like he understood in the slightest.

Luna could understand his lack of understanding. "Yes. It did."

If he grew up in an orphanage, never seeing another thestral, spending all his life pretending that he wasn't one, pretending he was a normal, sun-loving pony just to get by...

Perhaps this is the first time anypony has been anything other than fearful of his species in his presence.

"Why would that make you happy?" he asked, still in that frustrated voice.

Luna took a few deep breaths. This was something she had only ever told Tia before.

"I am especially mindful of Equestria's thestrals," she replied. "A thousand years ago, I was their only friend outside their own species. Always had they been feared by the other three races. Never had they been accepted. Never had they been loved by anypony but themselves. I had thought that if a princess showed that she loved them, the rest of Equestria would follow suit. I now feel my Element informing me... I think... I think that was a rationalisation, one that I told myself a thousand years ago and deliberately ignored my Element telling me otherwise. The true reason I fell in love with thestrals was that they love my night."

...

"And you believe that warrants a hug?"

She sighed in exasperation. "Yes I believe that warrants a hug. Although I now feel as if your entire life warrants a thousand hugs."

"What about my life would warrant that?" he asked disdainfully.

"The fact that you have never received any at all?" she shot back. "And now you must catch up on the backlog?"

"That sounds extremely stupid."

"That-" she began, then caught herself. No, she would not snap at him. If he does not see the value in hugs, of course he would see them as a waste of time. "In that case," she said after collecting herself. "I have a request."

"Can you predict how I will respond before you make it?"

She paused. "Yes... then before I propose it, I shall say that granting the request will earn you my favour."

"I take favours very seriously," he replied. "I might ask for something you do not wish to provide. Especially if your request is something I would rather not do."

"I... I shall keep that in mind."

"What is the request?"

"Allow me to hug you."

He did not look surprised or happy at the request.

"Just once," she assured. "I would also ask that you explore any emotions you might feel as it happens. As your student requested, please attempt not to resent it." If he learned the value of a hug, many good things would follow for him. But he must take this first step. "Will you?"

"Yes."

She almost staggered in shock. "You agree that easily?"

"I already knew what your request would be, and I already knew that I would accept. Understand that my agreement has not been easy. You will find my own request equally unpleasant when I call your favour later this day."

She took a few deep breaths, discarding the emotions engendered by the words. He was only trying to push her away. Just like he has tried to push everypony away, to keep from being hurt. All his life, he has experienced that nopony cares for him, and that any attempts to get close are an attack. It is not his fault. It is unconscious habit. That's all.

"I understand," she said, and stood. "Please pay very close attention to yourself as this happens. Try to understand your own impulses. And try not to resent it. Or at least try not to frown."

She began walking forward while he remained motionless. He had a neutral look about him which suggested he simply wanted to get this over with. The look changed as she approached, his facial features flickering into frowns as he tried and failed to stop them from going there.

"You instinctively distrust approaching ponies," she said knowingly as she walked slowly forward.

He did not reply.

"You would rather push them away than allow them to get close. If you have had close contact before, it has been in the form of violence and pain."

Again, he did not reply.

"Perhaps this will show you that not all ponies are so cruel."

She lifted her head and wrapped her neck over his. She thought of her joy, the original reason she wished to hug him in the first place, so the right emotions would be conveyed. Originally, she wanted to sweep him up and swing him around herself in a twirl, but that would have been far too much at this point.

The embrace felt strange – somehow cold and hot at the same time. His entire being radiated the fact that he did not want to be doing this. He stood rigidly still. He did not lean into the hug.

He had never had a true hug in his life until now, she suspected, and maybe not even any false ones. She had never had a hug like this either. Not with somepony so old and dead inside, yet somehow still so full of life.

"What are you feeling?" she asked, her voice vibrating into his black mane.

"Annoyance."

"Anything else?"

"Not particularly."

"Do you feel as though I should not be this close?"

"Yes."

"Do you feel as though I might hurt you?"

"I don't think so."

"Then why should I not be close?"

"You are within my personal space."

"Why is that a problem?"

"Is that not self-evident?"

"No. Why is it a problem?"

...

"I assure you that it is not normal for ponies to feel that way," Luna continued. "Perhaps towards other animals, especially predators. Perhaps towards other intelligent life, even, like dragons. But not between ponies. Not between fellow members of a social species. Do you know why you feel invaded when another pony comes close?"

There was a pause.

When he spoke, his tone was thoughtful. "Perhaps it is because... no. I would feel the same way even if a member of my own species were doing this. Maybe even worse. I don't know how to answer your question, other than to point out that I cannot see how it is not obvious."

"You still feel annoyed?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Why?"

...

"I don't know."

She pressed just a bit tighter. "Please look into it." And released him.

He still stood rigidly still as she retreated.

When the distance between them was something like its normal length, she asked, "Might I ask you to remove your cloak and glasses before we return to dinner?"

"Are you asking for a second favour? I doubt I need to inform you why I wear them."

"...No. I understand why you do not wish to discard them. It was just a request that you show me, personally, at least once."

Riddle tilted his head, seeming to consider something. "Would you owe me a favour if I dispensed with it entirely? And perhaps made comment about the current state of attitudes surrounding my species to your sister as I did?"

Luna felt her eyes widen. "I... I do not even know what you want in exchange for the first favour, and you said that will be unpleasant."

He shrugged. "I have nothing in mind for the second as yet. I do not know if it will be distasteful by your standards."

"I... I suppose I would like you to stop hiding yourself so habitually. Yes, it would count as a favour if you stopped wearing it. I do not care if you make comment to my sister about it. She is already sympathetic to the plight of thestrals."

"Perhaps not sympathetic enough, if relations are still so estranged after a thousand years."

"...Perhaps. You will remove them entirely?"

"Yes, but not until the morning comes around. I will don them again for the time being, before we leave these chambers. I would like to prepare what to say. Perhaps arrange for my student to contribute."

"Fair enough. Please let me look upon you."

He removed his cloak, revealing a large pair of beautiful leather wings. He removed his glasses, revealing slitted eyes and sharp teeth.

...

And a horn.

...

She stared at it.

...

He noticed her staring.

...

"Um... Riddle Tome... when were you going to tell-"

"Obliviate."

"-me that you are an alicorn? And what was that you said just now? And why are you pointing that stick of wood at me?"

There was a pause. Followed by a massive spike of deception.

"Because I am a fool," he sighed, the words honest, the underlying behaviour not honest at all. His horn glowed a strange shade of green, and his stick vanished. Then his horn vanished. "I forgot that I had attached my horn's concealment charm to my glasses. Please refrain from telling my student that I made such a stupid mistake. You can see that I did not intend to tell you. On the positive end, you might have just helped me solve a difficult problem, and I can see yet another advantage now that my horn has been revealed. Thank you for that. If you do not speak of the wood or the word or the horn, consider the second favour already repaid."

All those words had been honest. All of the underlying emotions had been deceptive.

Her mind was now a whirlwind of questions, a whirlwind of answers to those questions, and a whirlwind of yet new questions.

Was he the pony who had called her to the astral plane the other day? He does not have the hair, and he no doubt has many memories, but he was right there when she was called to it, and he was detained by the guard while she was gone. There could be no alibi more solid.

If that wasn't his plane, if he has been an alicorn all along, is that how he's been performing magic all this time?

But then what about the whole debacle with him being a non-unicorn attending Canterlot University? Technically alicorns are not unicorns, but still! Had the entire thing been a stunt based on a lie?

"I will keep your secret," she said slowly, "if you answer one question."

"Ask."

"Have you been an alicorn this entire time?"

"No."

"When did you become one?"

"I said I would answer one question."

Ah, yes. The lawyer was back. She audibly sighed. "Very well. I think we have kept my sister waiting long enough."