Honored Above All Else
Chapter 8
By Honored Service
“So that’s when I told the tax collector that eighty-three bits for one cart of cabbages was ridiculous!” Pine Needle threw his fore hooves into the air and brought them down with such force that the drinks on the table tipped over and spilled onto the deck of the ship. “Opps sorry,” he said sheepishly.
“It’s okay.” I said waving a hand at the green pony. We had managed to board a ship at the port of Griffmany with little difficulty. Well by little difficulty, I had to hide myself in a pile of rotting two week old cabbages that Pine Needle had tried to bring into Griffmany for trade. After the cart was parked in the ship’s cargo hold, I emerged covered in green slime from the decaying vegetables. For the rest of the trip I would describe myself as Pine’s hairless monkey pet that helped with work. It would be best to not repeat what the Nightmare thought about being a hairless monkey.
I don’t like this. It was far too easily for us to get aboard this ship. But not only that, but how easy it is to have these idiot ponies and griffons believe we are a six foot tall monkey that speaks fluently and has incredible intelligence.
“Nightmare, you just need to chill out.” I leaned back in the chair and stretched out my arms reaching up to the crystal clear sky. The early morning sun beat down on the ship, bathing us in warm rays. “Everything’s going to be fine. We escaped from a Griffon prison unharmed, and now we’re on a free cruise back to Equestria. Just enjoy it, while we can. Because once we get back, I got to go see the Princesses and inform them about this situation we find ourselves in.” I cast a sideways glance at Pine Needle, who was still a little uncomfortable with the whole, you have an evil creature that inhabits your skull and talks to you.
Well excuse me for trying to be a little cautious. I would prefer to not be on the water. Or end up on another damn side quest leading to nowhere.
“Wait.” I sat up and looked out over the waves splashing against the side of the ship. “Is the supper powerful, evil, demented, and scary Nightmare, really afraid of a little water?”
The voice almost screamed in my mind, causing me to flinch and clamp my hands to my ears. NO, NEVER! THE NIGHTMARE FEARS NOTHING! But the voice added quietly, and this isn’t a little water, this is a lot of water.
Pine Needle nodded his head as towards the side as two ponies trotted by caring coils of rope towards the front sail rig.
“Pine Needle, I want nanner.” I motioned using wide hand gestures of peeling a banana.
“No!” He said sternly stomping a hoof down. “You had three already!” As soon as the ponies turned the corner, he burst out chuckling. I joined in on the laughing, grabbing my sides and pounding a fist on the table.
I'm glad you're enjoying this. That was absolutely humiliating, and you’re lucky I don’t burn this ship to the sea killing everypony on board as we sink.
“And then you’ll be stuck in the water.” I retorted sitting back up in my chair.
I hate you.
“Love you Nightmare.” I lift my glass up and take a sip.
“Now once we get you back to Equestria, what do you plan on doing?” Pine Needle leaned forward across the table towards me.
“I’m going to go to Canterlot and try to get things worked out with the Princesses. You know, since everypony thinks I'm dead.”
But with the way our luck has been going-
“Don’t say it.” I close my eyes and rub a hand across the rough stubble coating my chin and jaw line.
Something else is bound to happen to put us back on the brink of death.
“Damn it Nightmare.” Of course, he had to say it. Now we we’re doomed to have something happen to us or this ship. I looked around almost expecting a giant tentacle to explode from the water and drag the ship under, or have a giant shark rip a hole through the boat.
But nothing happened. Immediately.
You are a very paranoid creature.
“Excuse me for being a little worried. Nothing has gone smoothly for me since I came to Equestria. I mean, yeah, it’s been fun, but also very… what’s the word?”
Interesting?
“Yes! Very interesting.” I stood up from the table and strolled across the deck to the railing and looked out across the ocean. The sun sparkled along the waves as the ship cut swiftly through the water. “Get thrown into this perfect world and look at me now. I’ve fought and killed my way across Equestria, Zebrica, and Grifmany. In this peaceful world, I'm the opposite of it.”
I hung my head and closed my eyes listening to the waves break against the side of the boat.
Hey there human. Don’t feel so… bad. I’m half the reason you're what you are here. If anything now we’re even better!
“Nightmare, I'm surprised that you're trying to cheer me up, but this just isn’t one of those times. I miss my friends. Both human and pony. I’ve been gone for months now. Everyone I care about thinks I'm dead and I have an evil creature living in my head that wants to rule the world and use me as the tool to do it.” I sighed and looked around the ship, watching the ponies and griffons mulling about on the deck.
Well how about we commit a few random acts of evil to make you feel better?
“Not now Nightmare.” The sound of hooves on the deck slowly came up behind me.
“You alright Honored?” Pine Needle asked propping his fore legs on the railing of the ship. “And I never really did get a chance to say thanks. You saved me from that mess in the ground. I’ll never be able to repay you.”
“Don’t worry about it Pine,” I gave him a kind hearted smile, “I couldn’t leave all those prisoners caged up down there, and I kind of needed to get out of there.”
Did it ever occur to you that some of those prisoners may have been there because they did do something terrible?
“Shut up Nightmare.”
“I don’t have very much to offer you, but if you ever happen to come along by Ponyville, I’ll give you a place to stay. I own some land around there and maybe you could take it and build a home.”
My mind stopped functioning for a brief moment. “Wait. You want to give me some land? For just getting you out of prison?”
“Yes!” Pine Needle nodded his head so fast, that his brown mane whipped everywhere. “You saved me, and that extra land is the only thing I could repay you with.”
I just stared at the green pony my mouth doing its best fish out of water impression. I was dumbstruck with the thought of being able to return to a place once this whole adventure was over. Not live in the barracks, but live on some land. A house eventually, but I’ll get to that once I get home. Home. I like that idea.
Dear to all that is evil, please tell me you're not thinking about building a damn cottage. So help you if I have to live with you and some pony for the rest of my life in a little place near some woods with a stream next to it, I’ll find some piano wire and make us jump off a cliff with it wrapped around our neck.
“Nightmare, shut the hell up.” I slip off into daydreams about having a home and seeing Fast Skies again. Us living together in a simple home, nothing to extravagant, but a lovely little house. “Pine Needle, I don’t know what to say.”
“Then don’t say anything Honored. Your actions have already spoken louder than anything you could have said.” The earth pony smiles at me and gives me a light pat on the back before heading off towards the stairs leading down to the passenger section of the ship. I walk towards the front of the ship looking out at the ocean before us.
No but really, are we not going to go on any more adventures? Not that I care or anything, but I have somewhat been able to tolerate the things we get into. Except the prison part.
“Nightmare, after everything you put me through, and everything in between, I think I could use some well-deserved rest.” I sighed and looked to some clouds forming far off on the horizon.
Hmmm those are some dark clouds. I wonder if they are-
“Nope. They aren't heading for us. No, they won’t be a problem. And they most certainly won’t throw us off course.” I say sternly, crossing my arms across my chest and closing my eyes.
Now you say that, but really let’s be realistic here.
“No let’s not.”
Don’t be immature.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” I open my eyes to see that in the brief moment of arguing, the clouds have grown larger and are indeed very dark. And either the ship is heading into them, or the clouds are heading at us.
So about me being right.
“Fuck off.”
*********************************************************************
“No way. Are you serious? A random storm just happens to appear and come straight for your ship?” Rainbow Dash leans forward from her seat staring at the human. He places a cup of tea down lightly on the table in front of the group of ponies.
“Well I didn’t say it hit the ship yet, did I?” Honored cocked and eyebrow in the direction of the cyan pegasus.
“No.” She said flatly crossing her fore legs in front of her and pouting.
“The storm was a big one though.” Honored reached out and picked up the tea pot before refilling his cup and adding a large amount of sugar to it. He began to swirl a spoon around while thinking. “The storm wasn’t an accident. As I found out during my training, humans are natural resistant to magic. Not impervious, but resistant to it, but only to pony magic. As it turns out, humans can actually attract magical weather. And that’s why the clouds began to brew up near us. Simple bad luck and bad magic.”
Twilight looked up from her massive stack of notes and jotted a few more line onto the parchment. “Resistant to magic? We’re going to have run some tests on this and see to what degree you can withstand it. Oh this will be so exciting. I’ll need tom make sure the mgaiomoter is functioning correctly and that the magicaexpeller is up to at least seventy percent-“
A cough from the human cut the unicorn off mid-sentence. “Yes that does sound like…fun, but let’s talk about that after I finish the story. If I'm telling it right, I have about eight to nine months left to cover. Something like that.”
“So the clouds began forming into a massive thunderhead right to our front.”
**************************************************************
The rain washed over the sides of the boat and pounded against the small circular window looking out from my small room onboard the ship.
Well this sucks.
“Yup. But at least it’s just rain and not at massive storm that could flip the boat over and send us into the ocean.” I said while stretching out across the cot in the room. I personally didn’t mind the rain. It had a soothing vibe to it.
Again I'm not afraid of water! Just this big ocean.
“Sure, whatever you say there pal.” I closed my eyes and though about drifting off into a light nap when there came a pounding at my door. I cracked open an eye to watch Pine Needle burst into the room soaking wet. His green coat was dripping with water and his short crop brown mane hung across his face. He shook himself rapidly, sending water in every direction. I lifted my hands to guard myself, but it was too late.
What the hell! Kick him or something! He comes barging in here acting like some kind of dog and gets us all wet.
“Um Pine.” I say wiping water off of my face.
“Yeah?”
“What was that for?” I’m trying to keep calm and not get too angry at the innocent pony.
“I came to tell you that the storm is picking up and that we need to stay in our rooms until we pass through it.” Needle smiles brightly at me through his still wet mane.
“So if we’re supposed to be in our rooms, then why are you here Pine?” I say softly to him as the gears begin turning in his head.
“OH! Ha I nearly forgot, alright bye!” And with that the green earth pony dashes from the room and back into the pouring rain.
I swear he wants me to kill him.
“No!” I say firmly, grabbing a towel and rubbing my head to rid myself of the water still clinging to my hair. “He’s a good friend and a nice pony. Just maybe a little slow, but he has a heart of gold. Now let’s get some food. I'm starving.” I move towards the door and grip the handle.
ARE YOU INSANE! Pine just told us not to leave the room because of the weather.
“Please, it’s just some rain.” I grab my backpack which has my rifle and supplies strapped onto the top of it, “besides, I'm a highly trained guard who has a super magical being living inside of me. I'm sure a little rain won’t hurt. We’ll just go to the galley and get something to snack on.” I open the door and am hit by sideways wind and rain. “We’ll make it a quick trip.” I add as I close the door and sprint off down the deck of the ship towards the galley.
Don’t trip. Don’t trip. Don’t trip. Don’t trip.
“You're not helping!” I yell above the screaming winds. I take another step and land my foot right in a puddle that formed on the deck. I slip forward and slid across the wooden deck to the edge of the ship. I reach my arm out and catch onto the railing as my feet dangle over the edge of the ship.
“Well shit.”
Kill. You. I. Will. Kill. You.
“Sure you will.” I pull myself up over the railing and back onto the deck of the ship. “See? No harm done. Now let’s get something warm. Maybe we can find some coffee or hot chocolate. Nightmare?”
Yeah?
“You were right.”
About what… shit
A massive wave was coming right at the side of the ship. It would easily sweep me off the deck and into the raging water below. I looked around and searched for something to latch onto. I sprinted and jumped to the railing and clung on for dear life as the wave crashed down onto the deck of the ship.
“SHIT!” I screamed as the water rolled over me and crushed me under its sheer force. I coughed and chocked on the salty water as it finally washed over me and left me gasping for breath as I still clung onto the railing.
WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET BACK INSDIE!
“On it!” I let go of the railing and made a beeline straight for the nearest door. I reach my hand out to open it, when it swings open and nails me square between the eyes. I stumble backwards, dazed from the blow. The last thing I see is Pine Needle looking confused, shocked, and horrified as my back hits the railing and I plummet towards the raging ocean below.
I knew I should have killed him
**************************************************************
“So you did end up going overboard! I knew it!” Rainbow Dash leapt up from her seat and pointed a hoof at the human.
“Yes you were right Rainbow, but excuse me for wanting to build some suspense to it.” Honored laughed and stretched his arms out in front of himself. “It wasn’t exactly the high point of my journey back here.”
“So it does get better?” Rarity piped up from behind a cup of steaming tea.
“Let’s just say the prison, was the calm before the storm.” The human winked at the unicorn and settled back into his seat to continue the story.
**************************************************************
I struggled to break the surface of the water. My trench coat and body armor was slowly pulling me down towards the dark depths of the ocean. I felt my chest tightening as my oxygen began to run low. My thinking began to slow down and I felt lightheaded. I opened my mouth and swallowed in a deep lungful of water.
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Green magic exploded from my body and rocketed me forward towards the surface of the water. Propelled by the Nightmare’s magic, I exploded from the surface of the water coughing and spitting up gallons of water. I struggled to stay on the surface of the water, but even in my dazed state, I wasn’t willing to give up my backpack and supplies.
WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY! I knew this would happen. Now I'm going to die trapped in this body, floating in the water, just waiting for a shark to eat me up.
I coughed up more water and managed to get onto my back and float somewhat flat on the rough surface of the water. “Or you could take over the shark and swim us to safety.” I spit up more water from the never ending amount in my lungs.
No! Because I said this would happen and it did! I said to be careful, but nooooo. Nightmare you're just being silly. You don’t know anything.
“Are you done?”
Yes.
“Okay good. Listen, the ship will notice that we’re gone and turn around and find us in no time.” I thrashed around to keep myself on the water as the waves tossed me around like a rag doll. What I wouldn’t give for a raft. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed something red and white bobbing the white caps. I swam for it and found a simple life ring.
“HAHA!” I threw my arms around the flotation device and held on for dear life. At least Pine Needle had enough sense to throw this thing in after me. Granted he did knock me off the ship, but it was an accident.
Oh wonderful little circle, you will surly keep us safe from the sharks and thirty foot swells!
“It’s better than nothing.” I gave a sigh and watched as a massive wave formed in front of me. “God damn everything.” I closed my eyes and held my breath as the wave crashed down on top of my little dingy. It was going to be a long night.
The sun finally pierced the clouds and the rain and wind began to let up. I was shaking as I gripped the life ring with all my remaining strength. Nightmare had stopped talking to me because he saw this as my fault, which it kind of was. The warm sun was a welcomed sight compared to the never ending barrage of waves that assaulted me throughout the night.
“Here comes the sun.” I snag out as the rays hit my face. Sweet Celestia the sun. oh how I missed you my friend. I was a morning/sun person. I was never one for late nights and the moon.
Well now what.
“What do you mean? We chill out, catch some rays, and wait for the ship to come back and get us. Simple as that.” I managed to pick myself up and sit myself into the ring. My feet and arms dangled into the water on all sides. My pack and rifle was settled in-between my knees and chest as I watched the small waves move me around.
What makes you think that the ships coming back? You think that stupid pony Pine Needle will be able to convince the crew of the ship to turn around and come back for us.
“Sure he will. I'm Honored Service. The only member of the Equestrian Honor Guard.” I stated proudly.
No, you're a simple hairless monkey that is Pine Needle’s pet. Or at least that’s what the crew onboard thinks. And do you think they will risk travel time to save that?
“Why do you have to piss on my parade?” I open the backpack and dig through it looking for something to eat. I could have sworn I put something edible in here from the galley a few nights ago.
“Here we go!” I pulled out a plastic bag that contained a few slightly soggy bread rolls and apples.
You had food in your backpack all this time.
“Yeah.” I said taking a bite from the apple. “Mo whmt?”
And you wanted to go get food from the galley in the raging storm?
“Well I mean, I tried to.”
When you could have just eaten what was in the pack from the very beging?
“I could have, but the galley would have had hot food.” I tossed the apple core into the water behind the little dingy.
I… I am literally speechless at your unbelievable stupidity.
“Well when you say it like that-“
No, there is nothing you can say that would justify your actions!
“They were serving tomato soup…”
That doesn’t… okay it was worth a try.
Okay so maybe I didn’t like the sun so much now. It had to be around sometime in the middle afternoon and the warm morning rays had turned into scorching laser beams. My face was definitely burnt already, and I was nearly out of water from my only half filled canteen. I mean who keeps it full when you're on a ship!
So are we going to die from shark attack or dehydration first?
“If you keep up that attitude ill just put a bullet in my brain and let you travel into some lowly fish.” I took a small bite out of the bread roll and put it back into the bag. So I had put a lot of faith into the idea that the ship would be coming back for me. And now I needed to conserve the food and what little water I had left. Might have to last awhile.
So how do you want to pass the time until we die?
“Well Nightmare, I’ll tell you the story of Castaway.” I smiled as I began to recall the story to the Nightmare to try and settle his nerves…okay so maybe telling a survival story while we were stuck out in the ocean wasn’t the best idea, but it was keeping me occupied, and the Nightmare seemed to be listening well enough.
After I finished the story, I watched the sun begin its slow decent towards the horizon. Almost immediately I felt the temperature drop. I brought my hands to my face and saw the worst pruned hands ever. It was awful. I would make sure that I would keep my hands out of the water tonight. I could hardly feel my fingers when I moved them.
As the moon began to rise into the sky, I began to shiver as the temperature dropped rapidly. I pulled my knees to my chest and tried to stay warm, which was hard to do considering that I was soaking wet.
“Damn. Really thought the boat would be back by now.” I stammered out through chattering teeth.
You don’t say? See I'm right once again. We’re going to die out here.
“You don’t know that Nightmare.” I rubbed my hands together, trying to get some warmth into the fingers. “The ship might be turning around as we speak. Coming to rescue us.”
Sure. I believe that.
I floated on that small life ring all night drifting in and out of sleep, waking up multiple times throughout the night because of the cold. When I say the first rays of sunlight peaking over the horizon, I could only think about the warmth it would bring compared to the freezing night.
I forgot about the midday sun.
Another afternoon I spent literally roasting under the sun’s harsh rays. My canteen ran dry late in the afternoon and my last roll and apple had puke green mold growing on one side of them. I cut off the mold and devoured the rest of the food. I was down to nothing but my rifle, pistol, knife and other standard supplies I have had since day one in Equestria. The only thing I was missing was my gold and green helmet that had been given to me as an Equestrian Honor Guard member. Either it’s on the ship, or somewhere on the ocean floor.
Oh look, the sun is setting. Break out the mittens.
“Nightmare, you're not helping.”
Well that’s just too bad, because thanks to your stupidity, I'm going to die
“We aren’t going to die! We just need to stay positive and we can make it through this. I'm sure it will rain again, and we can catch some water from that.” I said motioning to the canteen and plastic bag the food had been stored in. a simple water catch system.
Wonderful! Now how about some food?
“I… Um… well I don’t know. Fishing maybe?” I shrugged my shoulders and laid my head back as the last bit of sun dipped below the horizon.
Any other thoughts you would like to share with me before we spend another night freezing to death?
“Nope.”
Well then, good night, don’t let the sharks bite.
“Haha very funny.” I gulped loudly and pulled my m16 a little closer to my chest.
****************************************************************
“You were honestly stranded on a life ring for months? How did you survive? Did a nice school of dolphins take you in as one of their own and feed you and teach you the ways of the ocean? Or maybe you became able to survive like the fish! Did you get gills?” Pinkie Pie was bouncing around the room, bombarding the human with questions that seemed nearly impossible to answer with a straight face.
I believe this one has too much energy. Where does it even come from?
“No Pinkie,” Honored sighed and rubbed his forehead, “I was only on that ring for four days. On the fourth day I was dying of thirst when I saw land.”
You got lucky. If I hadn’t prompted you to turn in the direction, we would be fish food.
“Thanks to my superior navigation skills, I was able to guide my ring straight to land.”
You're so full of shit, your eyes are brown.
“Yup. All on my own, no help from a certain evil entity.” The human coughed into his hand and continued the story before any more interruptions could be made.
*************************************************************
If we make it out of here alive, the first thing I'm going to do is burn a village to the ground. And if I can’t find a village, then trees. Lots of trees. Wait, what’s that?
“No Nightmare, I don’t want to play eye spy again.” My voice came out dry and strained. I was dying slowly from dehydration. My urine was dark brown now and my lips were cracked all over. I knew I couldn’t kid myself any longer about rescue.
No really over there, to the right. I felt my head turns itself to the right and my left eye focus on a spot in the distance. It was a small green speck.
I think that’s land.
It took nearly a full minute for what the Nightmare had said to sink in.
“LAND!” I cried out in my broken voice. Using the rifle as a paddle, I gripped the barrel and made desperate strokes in the water to try and propel myself towards the slowly growing speck.
My thoughts of dying were replaced with new thoughts of salvation. I didn’t care what was on that land. Even if it was infested with dragons or zombies or zombie dragons, anything would be better than dying gradually over time on this god forsaken life ring.
Paddle faster! I can almost hear the flames crackling through the bark of trees.
“Water first.” I panted out between labored breaths as I drove the life ring forward. “Then fire.”
I struggled moving the ring forward, but was making little process. The thought of land overpowered my thoughts of dehydration as my body found new energy to keep going. Eventually the little speck of green became large. Then a beach appeared. Coconut trees followed after and soon a jungle behind that.
I hit the beach just as the sun was descending into my fifth night on the ocean. I flopped onto the cool sand and fell asleep. Passed out cold from the energy spent to reach this haven.
For once, I slept straight through the entire night, not once waking up because of the cold. I just slept on the beach, feeling the solid ground beneath me, and the sand in-between my fingers.
I woke up feeling sore all over and still thirsty as I’d ever been. I saw some coconut trees not too far off, and figured that would be the quickest way to get some liquid in me.
Good morning there human. It seems that we might not perish after all. No that’s all right; don’t thank me for spotting this little slice of heaven. It’s okay, knowing that we won’t die is thanks enough.
“Nightmare, just shut up.” I coughed out, standing underneath a bunch of coconuts. I tried climbing up the slim tree to get them. I tried throwing rocks to knock them lose. I tried shouting them out of the tree using a colorful stream of curse words. But in the end I drew my pistol and simply fired one well-placed shot into the base of the bunch of coconuts and sending them all down to the ground.
Did I ever mention to you, that you are not the brightest human?
“Oh bite me!” I said grabbing the nearest coconut and plunging the spike handle from Bad Bertha in to the hard outer shell of the fruit. I yanked out the spike and began to drink the milk from the coconut by the mouth full. ‘Take small sips’ I tried telling myself. The sudden intake of liquid might make myself…puke
After throwing up straight coconut milk, I tried again on a second coconut, this time pacing myself on the watery substance. It stayed down this time. I cut open more of the drained coconuts and began eating small bites of the white meat inside the lifesaving fruits.
Never was a fan of this stuff. Then again I never had coconuts before, but I'm not surprised. I don’t like them.
“Of course you don’t. They are the only food that may be on this island, and you don’t like it. How am I not surprised.” I rolled my eyes and took another bite of the meat. “At least we won’t be dying today!”
Where are we anyways?
“Well if I remember the map correctly, this is might be some land to the south of Equestria called, Mythartica.”
I was about to contemplate why it was called that, when a mighty roar shook the beach and caused me to fall backwards.
What was that about not dying?
I scooped up the remaining coconuts and shoved them into my backpack and sprinted as fast as my still weak legs could carry me into the tree line on the edge of the beach. I didn’t like where this was going at all.
Well hello readers! Johnson here. I'm alive and well at the military college. My time is pretty packed with classes and other things going on, but im still writing. Hopefully as the year goes on, more time will be found and i can update more often, but have no fear, the updates are still coming.
Thanks for all the amazing reviews and I'm glad to know that this story is loved by so many of you.
Peace and tolerate,
Love and care
Johnson
INB4 'WILSON' references.