I fell asleep at some point during my bath. Judging from how very little past my fingers had wrinkled, it wasn’t for very long. It didn’t take me more than a few minutes to dry myself off and slip on some clothes, but the inside of my mouth still felt dirty. I opened the mirror and saw a cup full of toothbrushes, one of them having the initials ‘F.S’ written on it, and the rest I assumed are spares.
The toothpaste tube actually had Pinkie’s face on it, which was cotton candy flavored. I gave it a try and it actually tastes just like cotton candy, though still with the gel-like texture of toothpaste.
I left the bathroom feeling really refreshed, and somehow more well rested than when I woke up on the couch last night. It’s a little past six according to the clock, however, it’s getting darker out as the sun sets. If the seasons work the same here, then that means it’s near the end of fall and approaching winter. That was basically the only way the village was able to tell when winter was upon us, that and the temperature, along with the lack of animals.
I made a mental note that the next time I’m at Twilight’s to find a book about this world's weather, which I would need to write in my journal. Assuming there is a next time and she’s not afraid of letting me in her home, that is.
There aren’t any animals in the living room, but I could hear Fluttershy in the kitchen. I didn’t want to bother her any more than I already have today, so I sat on the couch as silently as I could and pulled my journal out and made some adjustments to my ‘mental notes’ section. Which, as of right now, was the only thing in there. I don’t intend to use it as a diary.
Maybe it’s just my trust issues at work, but I don’t want to put my thoughts where someone could read them. I’d rather keep all my ruminating and extreme paranoia to myself if I can help it.
“Chara? I didn’t hear you come down. How was the bath?” Fluttershy asked as she walked around the corner, eyes perking up as they landed on me.
I couldn’t help but jump a little at the sudden voice, so absorbed in trying to remember all the questions I had recently that I didn’t notice her. Or she’s just that quiet.
“It was great, actually. I feel a lot better now, thank you for letting me use it.”
“You don’t have to thank me Chara, this place is as much your home as mine. Uhm, if you don’t mind me asking, what exactly can you eat?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but paused when I couldn’t remember the word for it. I tapped the eraser against my mouth and closed my eyes. For sure I know I saw it in some of Toriel’s books about snails and on one of the food bags for the animals. “Omni….omnivore, I think? I can eat plants, meat, fruit, just about anything edible. I don’t have any allergies, either. At least none that I know of.”
“Would you like a sandwich? I haven’t seen you eat anything since that pie, which wasn’t exactly the healthiest thing.”
“I could eat, yeah.”
Fluttershy nodded and walked out. I waited until she was around the corner to put down my pencil and summoned the menu, selecting one of the bottles of water and pulling it out. The bottle and liquid inside is extremely cold, which made me wonder if the pocket dimension within the backpack kept things at whatever temperature they’re put in at.
I wrote the words ‘Backpack Experiments’ at the top of the next page, writing a few ideas under it I wanted to try later. The way I see it, I have a lot to learn and a lot of free time. I might never learn why I’m here, or why I have the reset ability, but I can learn just about everything else.
About two minutes passed before Fluttershy came back. Around the time I ran out of things to put in my journal, for now. I put it back in my backpack and set it beside me, taking the sandwich when she offered it on a plate. I had it halfway to my mouth before I actually looked at what’s on it, causing me to freeze in place as everything down to my heart stopped.
Flowers, there were flowers in my sandwich.
Sunflowers, to be specific. Very similar to buttercups, my last meal. The idea of eating them put a bundle of knots in my chest, bringing up the vivid memory of my death. Puking up my own blood as it leaked out of every orifice I had, the absolute agony as my organs failed, and yet it wasn’t enough. I had to keep eating more of them, my brother unable to do more than beg me to stop, only to have to watch me die.
While I did my best to ignore the urge to throw up, I placed the sandwich back on the plate and then beside me. I didn’t make a sound and closed my eyes, doing my best to visualize shoving the memory into a bottle, throwing it into the ocean of my mind along with countless others.
I’m starting to hate whatever sent me here more and more. Either they had an incredibly dark sense of humor, or just genuinely enjoyed seeing me suffer. Maybe there isn’t much of a difference.
“Chara, are you ok?”
“Yeah, I just...lost my appetite.”
Fluttershy kept her gaze on me for a moment, her eyebrows knitted like she’s worried to take her eyes off of me for a moment. She took a bite out of the sandwich, sitting there in tense silence as she opened and closed her mouth a few times. I got the feeling there’s something she wanted to talk to me about but is trying to figure out how to ask it. Usually, my dread and desire to avoid talking about myself would drive me to shift the conversation somewhere else. However, I just don’t have the mental energy to do it right now.
“Is it...normal for humans to change their eyes?”
I flinched a bit at the question. I actually felt a little dumb for not expecting it. “No, it’s not. I don’t know why they do that.” Not technically a lie since they did do that before, just not when I had a body.
“I’ve met a few animals that have grown to look big and scary, but are actually just sweethearts. Manticores, Chimeras, it’s not that strange. I can even think of a few animals off the top of my head that rely on their eyes to survive. I admit, they scared me at first, but if it's something your species needs to survive, I get it.”
Fluttershy’s unhesitant sympathy is simultaneously refreshing and painful, I didn’t feel like I deserved it. “I don’t think that’s it, pretty sure it’s tied to my magic somehow.” I absentmindedly played with the now half empty bottle of water, finding it a lot easier to articulate my thoughts if there’s something in my hands. “Fluttershy, I don’t want to use my magic again. It scared you guys, it scared me, it still scares me!”
I raised my voice more than I meant to, the sound of the plastic crinkling as I squeezed it grating to my ears. I didn’t even have to think before my body shifted into the fetal position, ironically the only position I ever feel comfortable in.
“That’s ok, Chara. It’s alright to be afraid.” I felt the unique softness of Fluttershy’s wing as she rested the tip on my head, patting my head a lot like how I pet Angel. It’s more pleasant in the sense that it helps me feel calm, rather than making me go doe-eyed like he does.
“Magic is scary, not just yours. Even Twilight messes up every now and again, and she’s been studying magic for as long as anypony has known her. Twilight might be disappointed, but you don’t have to use your magic ever again if you don’t want to.”
“But...what if I need to? What if someone’s in danger again?” I could only hope I won’t get put in a situation like with the Timberwolves before, but I’ve never considered myself a lucky person. The most I can hope for is that I never have to reset again.
Her patting stopped as I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, only just noticing that she had already finished her sandwich without making a sound.
“Chara,” she pursed her lips for a moment as she retraced her wing. I found myself a little surprised that I already missed it. “Have you heard of The Elements of Harmony?”
“Rainbow said that’s what you guys are, but not what that means other than apparently you can sing very well.”
Fluttershy chuckled as Angel bounced in, hopping up to the spot beside me and chirped something as he pointed at my sandwich. I tilted my head as I tried to understand if he’s trying to ask me why I didn’t eat the sandwich, or if he wanted it himself. “I’m not hungry. You can have it if-”
He started nibbling on it before I even finished my sentence.
“I don’t understand it very well myself, but I believe it means the six of us embody each element, mine being Kindness. Using the artifacts themselves, we use some of the most powerful magic short of Celestia or Luna. Together we could defeat just about anything, you couldn’t be more safe.”
I could tell she’s just trying to make me feel better, and I appreciate it, but words have rarely been enough for me. Sometimes even seeing wasn't enough. I gave her a fake smile so she’d feel like she helped, eventually she’s going to see through them. I relaxed my body a bit, letting my legs dangle off the edges of the couch.
“So, uhm…” I peeked over at Angel as I tried to think of something to shift the conversation to. Angel managed to get half of the sandwich down and is now sleeping on the other half with a full and visible belly. I couldn’t help but smirk when I pet him and his leg kicked. “Who are Celestia and Luna? They sound important.”
“They are very important. Equestria would have collapsed a long time ago without them.” Fluttershy said with heavy emphasis, picking up my plate with half the sandwich on it and taking it with hers into the kitchen. Angel ended up on my lap, his stomach protruding as he laid across my thighs, as limp and relaxed as I’ve ever seen him.
“I’m so jealous of how easy you have it.” I muttered as I poked him, his stomach jiggling a bit.
“Celestia and Luna are sisters, and have been around as far back as Equestria has. Celestia controls the sun, and Luna controls the moon.” I heard Fluttershy as she came around the corner, holding a glass of what looked like tea in her right hand.
“Really? They must be pretty powerful if they can do that.” I don’t know much about the sun and the moon from my world other than the moon went through phases, but I could say for almost certain that they weren’t being controlled by anyone. Then again, I know next to nothing about the actual capabilities of magic in this world, so I can’t really say what’s impossible and what’s not.
“They are. In fact, they're the most powerful ponies in the world! They’re both princesses and something called alicorns, which means they have wings and horns. Luna was…” Fluttershy’s voice trailed off as her eyes darted to the side as she sat down. “Away for a while. She’s back now and is trying to help keep things stable. Celestia is Twilight’s mentor and is the reason we met in the first place, you’ll probably end up meeting her sooner or later. She visits every now and again, but occasionally we go to Canterlot where she usually is.”
I couldn’t help but smirk at the name despite having heard it before, whoever decided on all these horse related names must have been having the time of their life. Fluttershy took a sip from the tea as I put the water bottle in my backpack, being as careful as I can be so I don’t wake Angel up.
“I know you aren’t going to like it, but there’s something I want to talk to you about. And I know you want to pretend you have amnesia, but this is important, and all you have to say is ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”
I tensed up at the serious tone in her voice, biting my lip as I gently picked up Angel and held him against my chest. His soft fur and warmth soothing unlike anything else, I can only hope my erratic heartbeat doesn’t wake him up.
“Ok.”
Fluttershy sat in silence, I wondered if she even heard me. Then I heard her place the glass on the table beside the couch, a pause, and then her taking a deep breath. Tons of thoughts went through my head as I tried to guess what she wanted to ask me, and whether I’d lie about it. I hate lying to her, but there are plenty of things I’m not ready to talk about now, if ever.
“Did your parents' eve-”
“Flutters, are you and Chara here?”
She was interrupted by Rainbow Dash, who flew in through one of the windows that had been left open, her wings extended to her sides and were rapidly beating as she hovered slightly above the ground. My entire body jumped, while Fluttershy barely flinched, did she do stuff like this often?
Rainbow looked between the two of us as she raised her eyebrow. “Am I interrupting something?”
“No, not at all. What did you need?”
I glanced at Fluttershy out of the corner of my eyes, surprised at how casual her voice and her expression were. She’s better at hiding her feelings than I’d expect her to be, which might come from when she used to be bullied.
“Chara, you remember when I asked you to come see the CMC when you can? Well, I kind of need you to do that now. Like, right now.”
I forgot who the CMC are for a second, then I remembered Spike referred to the trio from the woods as that, though I have no idea what it actually stands for. The urgency she said that with bothered me a bit, luckily Fluttershy asked the question I was just about to.
“Did something happen? Why do you need her to come right now?
“Well, uhm…” Her voice cracked as her eyes darted back and forth, trying to look anywhere but at us. I think I could even see her sweating. “It’s important. They’re at Sugarcube Corner with Pinkie, and they’re waiting for us.”
She gave an extremely over exaggerated wink to Fluttershy, which seemed to equally confuse the both of us judging from the way she briefly frowned. After a second or two her eyes widened like she realized something, then she opened her mouth, closed it after glancing at me, then furrowed her eyebrows as she turned back to Rainbow.
“I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea, at least not right now. I’m sure it can wait.”
“You know how Pinkie is, she can’t really wait. It’s better to just get it over with. Plus, you know how she gets when ponies don’t show up.”
Even someone as socially inept as me can tell they’re talking about something they don’t want me to know about, which really set off my anxiety. I didn’t even notice how tightly I pressed Angel against myself until he let out a chirp and pressed against me.
“Sorry.” I mumbled as I traced the edge of one of his ears, which quickly earned his forgiveness.
“It’s not really up to us, it’s up to Chara.”
I raised my head when she called my name, Angel not appreciating that I suddenly stopped showering him with affection.
“Chara, do you want to go see them now or at some other time? Whatever you want to do is fine.”
Rainbow hovered behind her and fervently nodded in approval and shot me a thumbs up, which Fluttershy caught and gave her a disapproving scowl in response.
Saying no is almost too tempting, some part of me whispering that I’d done enough today and I deserved the rest of the day off. However, as nice as it would be to sit around and be lazy, I hate doing nothing. I can’t go to Twilight’s, the animals have already been fed, and the only thing waiting for me here is either awkward silence or rigid conversations with Fluttershy.
Still, I hesitated to answer, the comfort this place offered along with the animals something I don’t think I could find anywhere else. My dislike for disappointing others won out, imagining the sad faces of those three if I didn’t show up was the final push.
“Yeah, sure. It’s not like I have a busy schedule anyway.”
“Yes!” Rainbow yelled triumphantly.
“We better get going then. Some animals like to get midnight snacks if I’m not here past eight.”
I placed Angel, who is already somehow back to sleep, on one pillow of the couch. My legs are more wobbly than usual when I stand up, but otherwise feel fine. I’m sure if I hadn’t taken that bath and nap, I would be exhausted and would have said no.
After walking out of Fluttershy’s cottage, I found myself in awe at how beautiful nighttime was here. Night was my favorite time of day in the village, seeing the eye-catching fireflies and the breathtaking stars reminded me why. I reflexively clutched the necklace as I recalled how Asriel and I would go to Waterfall every night to stare at the gems in the ceiling and pretend they were stars, so badly did I want to show him real ones just once.
“Come on slowpoke!”
Rainbow’s voice reminded me of where I am, and gave me little time to bask in the night's tranquility. Fluttershy looked like she wanted to ask me something, but held her tongue. Likely another question she’ll ask me later, however this one I don’t think I’ll mind answering.
The rest of the way was uneventful, more so than my first trip was. Judging from the lack of ponies outside, I’m guessing that a lot of them go to sleep relatively early. Considering how close they live to something as dangerous as The Everfree Forest, I can’t say I blame them.
When we got to the actual building, I stared in awe for a very different reason. All the other buildings in this town were relatively normal for this world, while this one looks like a giant gingerbread house. A cookie roof with frosting lining, a cake that I’m pretty sure functions as a chimney, and everything below that was normal. A sign dangling in front of the door with a cupcake on it told me it’s a bakery, which would fit well with a name like Sugarcube Corner.
“Are you ready?” Fluttershy asked as she let go of my hand and turned to me.
“I guess.”
Rainbow opened the door, the sound of a bell dinging as she did, confirming to me this was a bakery, and gestured us inside. I wondered why she didn’t enter first, but I shrugged it off.
Fluttershy entered first and I followed behind, the slow sound of the door closing instilling a sense of dread. There was no light inside at all, nothing but vague shapes. The near blinding darkness didn’t last long as I heard a light being flicked on, followed by shouting.
“SURPRISE!”
I heard everyone in the room shout in sync, except for Fluttershy and I. I reflexively flinched and shut my eyes, before opening them and taking a look at the room. Confetti rained from the ceiling where there were balloons, a cake on the counter, and a pink banner strung above me with the words ‘Welcome To Ponyville/Thanks For Saving Us’ written in blue crayon.
“Oh no.”