//------------------------------// // The town // Story: The Painted Mare // by Mosernous //------------------------------// Charcoal stood at the edge of Ponyville proper, examining the town. He looked at the homely, pastel houses. They were so different from the grey, business towers of Ponyvania, looming down on the citizens. Here, there were no feelings of claustrophobia, just the opposite, open and welcoming. The ponies here were even more welcoming and colorful than the town itself. He was a complete stranger and he had already been greeted by four ponies, all with a happy and genuine smile on their faces. It was official, Coal liked this town. Oh! Speaking of colorful, here comes a pony whose pink coat and mane was like a glaring beacon. He put on a nice smile and got ready to give away a cheery ‘hello’. “Hi my name is…” Coal began, only to get interrupted by the energetic pony. “Oh, I’ve never seen you before, hey my names Pinkie Pie, what’s yours? Will you be my friend? Do you like cupcakes? What’s your favorite color? Do you like alligators?” Pinkie asked, finally pausing to take a breath. Coal seized the opportunity to finish his introductions. “Charcoal Easel, you can call me Coal, I am new in town, as for your other questions: I don’t see why not, yes, blue, and, I guess their kinda cool,” Coal answered in order. ` “That’s so great, I just know that we are going to be the best of friends, oh, I know what I have to do,” Pinkie said, jumping into the air, and hanging there, seeming to defy the laws of physics. “Oh yes, and what would that be?” Coal asked, amused. “I’m going to throw a surprise party, for you to welcome you to Ponyville!” Pinkie said as gravity finally took hold of her and she fell back to the ground. Before Coal could get a word out, she was gone in a flash of pink. “But, how can it be a surprise party, I already know,” Coal said to himself, before shaking his head with a rueful smile. Scratch that, Coal loved this place. “Now to find a rentable place of business,” Coal muttered to himself. Hard Cider told him that something ‘strange and unexplainable’ had happened to the city hall, and it was still under repairs. Because of this, the town library was being used as a temporary house of operations. Unfortunately, when Coal had asked Cider where said building was, all he did was show his facsimile of a smirk and say “You’ll know,” and that was all that Coal was left with. I guess I’ll just have to ask somepony. He looked around, trying to find a pony that wasn’t busy and had time enough to direct him. He spotted a particular interesting grey pegasus mare. The interesting thing being that neither of her golden eyes, a slightly darker shade than her hair, seemed to be looking at the same thing at once. She seemed to be walking around without a purpose, just enjoying a nice stroll through the town. Coal supposed it wasn’t so much her eyes that really caught his attention, it was the looks that she seemed to be completely oblivious to as she walked along her merry way. The looks weren’t exactly negative, but they were filled with enough apprehension and weariness that it struck a defensive chord in him. “Excuse me miss,” Coal said, trying to get her attention. She continued on, without taking notice. “Um, excuse me, miss grey Pegasus?” Coal attempted yet again. He could feel the looks of the others begin to shift to him. Clearly not many talked to this mare, Coal was about to fix this. Feeling emboldened by the looks and the not so slight feeling of annoyance at once again being ignored, he decided that it was time to get a bit physical. He stepped into her path, looked straight into her eyes and said, perhaps a bit louder than intended, “Hello miss ‘too cool for you’, I was attempting to get your attention.” This seemed to get her attention as she looked at Coal, her eyes clouded with confusion and the smallest hint of apprehension. Coal realized that he may have been a bit too forceful with that last one, so sue me, I’ve been alone on the road for that last two days. “Yes I am talking to you, miss…” I said, my sentence hanging in the air. “Derpy, Derpy Hooves,” she said, hesitantly. Ya, she might be a little scarred, time to diffuse the situation with a little Charcoal charm. He gave her his best disarming smile. “Miss Hooves, you do know it is considered rude to ignore someone when they try to get your attention,” Coal said, his tone seeming offended, but the teasing smile on his face took any sting out of the comment. “Oh sorry, it’s just, well, no pony really talks to me,” she apologized. Coal waved it away like it was nothing. “No problem, I’m new in town, I just needed some directions and then I’ll be out of your hooves,” Coal said. “Oh, sure, I can do that,” Derpy said, looking a bit disappointed. That won’t do, Coal was going to fix that. “You know, now that I think about it, it was a long and lonely trip, and I could really use some company, and some lunch. If you wouldn’t mind, that is,” Coal said, with a hopeful smile. “Of course!” Derpy said at once, the disappointment gone in record time. “Oh, I mean, ya, sure, sounds cool,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant. Coal couldn’t help the smile that was brought on by how cute she looked with that little embarrassed look in her eyes and the light blush in her cheeks. “Right then, let’s get to it,” Coal said, starting off in a random direction only to stop after a few steps and turning around with a look of hopelessness. “Where could we find some food?” Derpy stifled a giggle behind her hoof before she nodded her head to get him to follow her and stated off in the opposite direction he had been heading. “Say, mister I never got your name,” she said. “Charcoal Easel, but you can call me Coal.” “Call me Derpy,” she said, “Not that I’m forcing you or anything, you can call me Derp, or Hoof, or Hoovie, or, you know what? I’ll just leave it to you and stop talking.” Oh Celestia, kill me know, Derpy thought, envying Fluttershy’s ability to hide behind her mane. I always get like this when I meat somepony new. She risked a look at Coal, hoping she hadn’t scared him off. There! She saw the angrily scrunched up eyebrow, the disgusted upturned nose, the upturned corner of his lips, the hoof pressed to his mouth to hold back a laugh, wait, what? Finally unable to hold it back, he let loose a few chuckles. “I’m sorry Derpy, I’m not laughing at you, trust me, it’s just, where I come from, it’s much more formal, some, not pointing any hooves, might say stuffy or uptight, and this was just the kind of thing I needed. So casual, it feels nice, and a bit unusual. It’s always been a bad habit of mine to laugh when I’m not sure what else to do. It doesn’t help that such a beautiful mare is being so, ‘informal’, I guess, with me,” Coal explained, hoping she wasn’t offended. “You think I’m beautiful?” Derpy asked, blushing. Coal froze, “What? No, of course not! It’s just the sort of compliment that you would give where I came from. Not that you aren’t, you know, you look good. Not that I was looking, I mean, we just met, but if I were to know… know… I’m going to shut up now.” Derpy giggled at the eccentric stallion, “It’s fine, Coal, but just so you know, if you did happen to have done so, I would have said thank you. And I’d say that you aren’t too bad looking yourself.” Coal stood there, not moving as his mind went into overdrive. “Are you coming?” Derpy asked. Coal shook his head, noticing that she had continued walking without waiting for his reply. He attempted to wipe the goofy smile from his face with little to no success and hurried up to catch up with Derpy. ______ Derpy gave him the Ponyville Square grand tour, which consisted of a grocery store, a sweet shop, a few little cafes, and a general store. She finished off with a building that looked like a large confectionary treat of some sort. Only fitting for Sugarcube Corner, the towns bakery. “I love the muffins they make here, I was on my way here for lunch, actually, if you still want to, you know, join me?” she asked, trying to sound like she didn’t care. “Sounds great,” Coal replied. They entered the sweet shop together, Coal opening the door for her. Derpy giggled at the gesture, causing Coal to blush. “Two banana nut muffins and a chocolate cupcake coming right up!” A familiar voice yelled across the store. Coal looked up to the counter to a very familiar glaring beacon of color working behind it. “Pinkie Pie?” He asked. “Of course, do you know any other pink ponies? Well, you probably do, but do you know any that are as pink as me? I’m the Pinkiest Piest Pinkie Pie in all of Equestria, so of course not!” Pinkie said with her usual enthusiasm. “Right,” Coal said, not sure how to respond that. “Uhm, do you work here?” He asked, trying to start a conversation. “Yep! The cakes are super nice, I get to stay here, and all I have to do is help manage the bakery. Best deal ever!” Pinkie said happily. “That’s nice. Well, I’ll take a, oh, uhm, ooh, I know, I’ll have a chocolate cupcake, and Mrs. Hooves here will have…” “Two banana nut muffins,” Derpy said, flushing slightly. “Right, there you go,” Coal said, hiding a smile. “Of course,” Pinkie said, smiling, she had been smiling the entire time, never stopping. The constant smiling was starting to get a bit uncomfortable. Don’t get him wrong, smiling was fine and all, but he wasn’t used to this sort of thing. Back in Ponyvania, you were lucky if you got indifference instead of a straight up scowl, but a smile? That was the sort of thing that took two hard ciders, at least, to even dream of. “Yep, so, how much do I owe you?” Coal asked, getting ready to pull his wallet out of his bag, before he realized something important that he had neglected to notice. “Oh horseapples, I forgot my bags, I must have left them on the moving cart.” “That’s ok, I’ll take care of it,” Derpy said, reaching into her own saddlebags. She looked up in confusion when one of Coal’s hooves stopped her. “No, I can not let you do that, the stallion always pays, its polite, or something,” Coal said. “I thought that was something you did on dates,” Pinkie said from behind the counter. This comment brought an immediate flush from the pair of ponies in front of her. “What, no, we are not on a date,” Coal said, “I just met her, and, well, no, I mean, its not like the prospect of such a thing is bad, but I of course would never do such a…” “I was just teasing you,” Pinkie said, giggling at Coal’s flustered state. “You sure are easy to get riled up.” “Not on my best of days, currently,” Coal muttered. “Tell you what,” Derpy said, reinserting herself into the conversation. “I’ll pay for today, and, you can repay me by buying me dinner sometime.” She gave him a smile as she placed the correct amount of bits on the counter, she knew the menu like the back of her hoof. “Okkie dokkie lokkie, your order will be right up,” Pinkie said. Coal stood there, waiting for her to place their order. When he had been standing there for a good while, just staring at the ever smiling Pinkie, he decided to voice his question. “Are you going to place the order?” He asked, Pinkie blinked at him, as if surprised that he was still there, even though she had been starring back at him the entire time. “I already did, silly filly,” she said. “When? You did no such thing,” Coal said. Two lonely days of nothing but sprawling landscape was quickly catching up with him. “Yes I did, I did it when you two walked in the door,” Pinkie replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Coal opened his mouth to argue when another voice cut in. “Two banana nut muffins and a chocolate cupcake, made to order,” a dark yellow Earth Pony in a flour sprinkled apron called, placing the order on the counter in front of Pinkie. “But, how? When? I didn’t… How!” Coal nearly shouted, looking at the treats. “We hadn’t even ordered yet when you placed these.” “Yea, so?” Pinkie asked, clearly confused. “How did you know what we wanted?” Coal asked, still starring at the muffins and cupcake as if their existence somehow offended him. “I’m Pinkie Pie, I always know,” Pinkie said, as if it explained everything. “But…” Coal started to ask when a sky blue hoof stopped him. He would have been perfectly fine with this, if the hoof hadn’t stopped him via insertion into his mouth. Coal spat out the offending hoof, glaring at the owner of the appendage, a sky-blue pegasus with a rainbow for a mane and tail. “You must be new here,” the molester said, as if she hadn’t had her hoof in his mouth mere seconds ago, “Rule one of Ponyville, never question Pinkie Pie.” “Excuse me!” Coal shouted indignantly. “Do you go around stuffing your hooves in everpony’s mouths, or am I just a special case?” “Oohoo, looks like we got some fire in the new kid,” the rude little filly said with a smirk, “Carful little colt, too much fire can burn you.” “What does that even mean?” Coal nearly screamed. “I don’t know,” She said with a shrug, “but it sounded cool.” “I thought it made sense!” Pinkie yelled. “No one asked you!” Coal yelled back. “I don’t know why we’re yelling!” Pinkie yelled. “That is a good query!” Coal yelled, stopped, analyzed the situation, and then in a much quitter voice, “I apologize for my behavior, it was beneath me.” “That’s all right, Char,” Pinkie said, loadly, Coal was beginning to wonder if she ever said anything normally. “Ya, as long as you’re sorry,” The Blue One said, cockily, Coal was beginning to wonder about a number of things with that one, but they were decidedly ruder. “You know what! I don’t need this right now, what I need to do is find the library and arrange living arrangements,” Coal said to nopony in particular. “The library is closed,” Derpy said. Coal started, having forgotten about her. He turned slowly to face her, his slowly degenerating sanity showing itself in a slight twitch of his left eye. “What?” Coal asked in a deceivingly cheerful tone. “The library, it’s closed. Twilight went off on an errand to Zecora’s,” Derpy said. “I see,” Coal said, his head drooping. “What am I supposed to do about lodging?” “If you’re talking about needing a place to sleep, there’s a motel on 9th street,” The Offender offered her help. “One, no bits, I left my saddlebags on the moving carts, and two, what is your name!” Coal said, he was running out of offensive things to call her in his head. “My name? Why do you need that?” The, uhm, colt-toucher?... The blue Pegasus asked. “Yes, oh laud one,” Coal said. “Her names Rainbow Dash, but I just call her Dashie, I bet you can too,” Pinkie , jumping over the counter to give Rainbow Dash what appeared to be a cross between a Mexican choke hold and a Philippian Surrender Pin. Knowing Pinkie, what little he did, it was probably her idea of a hug. “Dashie it is,” Coal said, smirking at the look of anger on Dahsie’s face. “If you need a place to stay, I have an extra room,” Derpy offered as Coal forgot about her for what was the second time in what had to be less than ten minutes. “Oh, thanks,” Coal said, blushing. “That sounds fine,” Try awesome. “Yep, it will just be me, you…” Aww, yeah, just me, her… “And my husband.” …And her Husband. Wait “Husband!”