//------------------------------// // From Rarity: To Princess Celestia // Story: Dear Princess Celestia, From: The Battlefield // by Cabooseforpresident //------------------------------// Dear Princess Celestia; It's me, Rarity. This will be my final message to you from the battlefield. Commander Shining Armour is all worked up about the changelings ambushing our mail-ponies and the supply lines, and somehow getting info which could somehow lead to our untimely downfall... Princess, it's been 8 months since we were drafted to this god forsaken war. I'm under a lot of emotional stress, so please bear with me... I still remember my first kill as a sniper. My target was a small looking changeling. He looked like me; scared. He had stretch lines all across his temple. He was crying an immense amount of tears. His face was dirtied with a crude mixture of sweat, tears, blood, and his own vomit. Shining Armour came up to me and screamed to me "TAKE THE GOD DAMN SHOT!" I don't know how I made the shot, but it hit. I was terrified, mortified. My face was muddied with tears and dirt. I couldn't even think straight, so how I made that shot is a mystery. Maybe Shining adjusted my hand, I don't know. I don't know any more. since then i have made more than 90 kills, almost 100. 90 changeling's who died under my bullet. 90 changeling's who's life i held in my hands. 90 changeling's who's lives I threw away, who's families will cry unending rivers for. Princess, what should I do? I can't keep this up any more. So much violence... so much pain... so much death. It reeks of scorched flesh. We fired White Phosphorus at the enemy once. They burned alive, as they struggled to get the flames off them. It's ironic. We now dine, sleep, and live among their ashes, and burned corpses. The first day we came here, I found two still alive, and in pain. They were my fiftieth and fifty-first kills. I once stepped in a strange liquid while on my way to my sniping post. I later found out i stepped onto the liquid remains of a changeling. I was in a state of shock. It was because of us that these changeling's are like this. What happened to Equestria Princess? What happened to the love we all had for each other? What happened to the hand in hand attitude we all had? Why are we like this? Blowing changelings up and burning them... Why can't we try a diplomatic approach? Why does it have to be this way? Some ponies come up to me and ask me "How are you Rarity?" I always reply that I'm fine and I can't wait to go back on the battlefield. I can't take it in any more. I'm cold. My mind is cloudy. My eyes are blood-shot. I'm sore. I'm depressed. I miss home. I miss everypony. I would rather die than me here. I hate myself. I am in denial of who I am. I am in constant fear. I am a mess. I am a shadow of the pony who used to be "the belle of the ball" or "the star of the show." I am just a soldier. A mindless tool. All the happiness in the world is gone. Everypony is changing. Rainbow enjoys the killing. She doesn't have any regrets or hesitations when she bombs our enemies. I don't know how to respond when she asks me "DID YOU SEE THAT GUY??? I TOTALLY BLEW HIM APART! IT WAS SO AWESOME!!!" Will I turn into her? Will I scream "YES!!!" when I snipe a changeling's head off and see it ripped to pieces? Pinkie is the same. As our trigger friendly pryo, she's the first into the battlefield. I hear her screaming above the sobs and cries of pain as she blows fire on her already dying enemies. I have seen her crush a changeling's head while he was crying and burning. Pinkie... our Pinkie... is this really Pinkie? Or... is Pinkie a full time Pinkamena... So many questions. Applejack is no different from both of them. She commands her small army of mortars and artillery ponies. She gets annoyed when she misses the biggest group of changeling's, and laughs like a deranged maniac when she hits them. What will happen when she goes back home? What will her family say? How will she react? Is she Applejack anymore? I know deep in my heart what they are. Murderers. I can't seem to find it within myself to call them that though. Oh my Fluttershy. I am horrified by the things you see every day. Fluttershy is our medic. I have been in the medical room, and it is a disaster. Not the room itself, but the patients. I vomited one time just by the scent of the wounds on some of the ponies. Poor Fluttershy... so innocent. She isn't used to all this. The cries I hear at night, followed by her sweet voice, like a beautiful melody playing, trying to calm the patients down. She isn't like the others. I hope she bears with us. I don't want her to change to something else, though I fear she is scarred forever. Sweet Celestia, please tell me there is a spell that can help us forget all of this. Twilight. She's also like Fluttershy. I see her at night, writing to herself, or writing to you. She will be devastated when she discovers that her brother cut the mail line to you. She has to sing to herself at night just to sleep at night. I wonder how she feels, every night, knowing she is away from home, to see the destruction caused by ponies. I can hear her weeping at night. it sometimes makes me break down and cry quietly to myself. Sometimes I hear her crying, and feel like visiting, but I don't. I'm in fear of being rejected. I fear that she will shoo me away, or feel embarrassed. The line has been drawn with my friends. Those who kept their old self and those who have changed. I have yet to decide which side of the line I fit in. I just want this bloody war to end! I just want to go home and make dresses with Sweetie Belle. Is she alright princess? Please send someone over to check on her from time to time. Princess... i have a secret I wish to tell you. No matter how calm I may look when I make a kill, no matter how many times I say "its a war. Ponies die." I'm afraid of dying. I don't want to die here. I just want to go back home. I miss my parents, I miss Sweetie Belle. I miss the small things too... I miss the time I knew I wouldn't wake up to a raid, and the times I didn't need to worry about being shot in the back of the head on my way back. I miss going to sleep knowing I will wake up. I miss the sweet smell of Mr and Mrs Cake's workshop of heavenly delights and divine creations. I can't think any more. I feel like im not a pony any more. Am I a heartless warrior, who looks in the eyes of her enemy, without a thought, or a soul, and does not hesitate when she pulls the trigger? Am I a mindless drone, who carries out her orders simply because she was given them? Or... am I a monster, who enjoys the fear in the eyes of her foe, who doesn't see her coming? Who doesn't hesitate the shot, and loves the sound of the lifeless body of her enemy slump to the ground like a dropped rag doll? Any way... I must get back. we are pushing forward. Please give Ponyville my kindest regards, and tell Sweetie to be strong. Tell her I love her, and big sister will be home soon. I just wish that last sentence was true. I will be here a bit longer than I expected. -From Equestria's very own, SGT "BULLSYE" Rarity.