A/N:
Here we go! Finally done. I have to apologize to Shadow Fyre (and everyone else) for the long delay despite the promise of a fast written chapter. Unfortunately, I’ve learned that posting promises and studying Physiology don't mesh, so I won't try to make them to.
Life is pretty stressful, currently, with all my exams, so I can't really say when the next chapter will be. It WILL come out, but I don't know when.
For now please enjoy chapter four of Fate/Misplaced.
EDIT: Proofreader found. Chapter edited by CrossoverManiac.
Chapter 4:
Third verse/Warnings
Rainbow Dash yawned. Another peaceful day in Ponyville.
How wonderful.
Really, did things really have to be so damn boring day in and day out? Where had the good old days gone, when the odd monster and occasional rampart elder god reared up its ugly head at the end of the day just looking for an old fashioned flank-whoopin' from yours truly? Is the occasional crisis too much to ask, universe? No, of course it isn't! But noooo. The prissy jerk just had to play difficult every once a while. Damn diva! Thinking it was all that. Just LOOK at this situation. Almost lunch time and absolutely nothing interesting to do. No important visitors in Ponyville, no titanic astral beast, no kidnappings, nothing! In fact, Dash could say with great certainty and disappointment, it had almost been a full blown month since she had last been in mortal danger...barring her morning stunt practices, that is...
...not that she was doing anything wrong during said practices, of course. She was an excellent flier! In fact she was the best! Yep! The fastest, greatest, most awesome pegasus in all the land! She was Rainbow Dash! The future Wonderbolt! Those trees...and that one stray wall...had just been intentional. Yeah! It was training! To strengthen the body against horrifying collisions...It totally wasn't an accident...
...She didn't crash dammit!
Mumbling irritably about random wind currents and stupid wannabe critics, the azure mare rose to her hooves, taking special care not to damage the alabaster cloud that formed her latest favored napping spot. This was one damn good cloud, and she would be damned if she messed it up just because some stuck up jerks like to judge her flying. Who asked them anyway?
With an irritated snort, she spread her prized wings, stretching them carefully and thoroughly over her back, this way and that. As that familiar and wonderful feeling of slumbering muscle tensing finally hit her, despite her recent, relatively sour, mood she couldn't help but smile in content.
Well, if nothing else, she could at least just chill with a fly-by across the town. Who knows, maybe she could even go have a look over at old Peppermint’s shop and have a word or two with Ponyville’s newest resident. It wasn't everyday some rich snob spontaneously migrated from one of those frou-frou places like Canterlot or whatever to come down to some backwater village in the middle of nowhere. If this guy was here to stir trouble, she would take care of it right then and there. Nopony messed up Rainbow Dash's turf without her having a say in it.
Just as she was preparing to take off, however, the telltale sounds of flapping wings brought her to a pause. He head whipped about searching for whom ever it was she had heard. Past a few drifting birds, however, nothing notable came to sight. Rainbow Dash just shrugged.
Meh, whatever.
Returning to the task at hand, the rainbow pegasus gave her wings a few rudimentary flaps. She had been sleeping for a while, and they were feeling kinda jammed. In the middle of her warm routine, however, the sound of something large and extremely fast darting about drew her attention to the side. It was all Rainbow could do to raise a bewildered eyebrow at the lazily floating group of clouds that she came face to face with.
"Uh....okay..." She mumbled, perplexed.
That dull whooshing sound touched her ears once again, this time from the left and Rainbow Dash, suddenly on the edge in a way she would never admit, whirled about in response. Once again, however, her
inspections of the surrounding area were met with disappointingly lackluster results as all that filled her vision was nothing but the clear blue skies of Equestria.
"Who-who's there?!" She shouted anxiously.
Her only response was another defiant whoosh from somewhere around her, coming and going as fast and mysteriously as ever.
"I...I...I know your there!" She exclaimed, drawing a few steps back from the edge of her cloud." C-c-come out here or I-"
A deafening rush of wind exploded behind her deafening her ears.
All Rainbow Dash could do was to scream bloody murder as her world dissolved to darkness
...and feathers.
---
"-arity, Rarity, Rarity!"
It had been quite a while since her last actual fainting spell, Rarity realized, as the world slowly shifted into focus. Recognizing the old familiar feeling of a full cerebral reboot in its pregnant phases, the white unicorn gently opened her eyes, waiting patiently for the mass of indistinct blurs in her limited field of vision to take a recognizable form. It took longer than anticipated, probably indicating some minor form of cranial damage from her subsequent fall, but true enough, the green blob that seemed to encompass her sight begun to assume a familiar shape.
"Rarity! Rarity! Wake up!"
"Lyra...? I..." How odd, her face felt rather sore.
Thwack!
"Ow! HEY!"
Oh, that's why.
"WAKE UP RARITY!"
Thwack!
"OW! Would you be so kind as to quit that?!" She shouted, hastily shoving the mint unicorn away from her muzzle and not too soon either, judging from the drawn back hoof over Lyra's head.
Not particularly keen at being abused any further, Rarity wasted no time on getting back to her hooves, a silent declaration for everypony in the vicinity to kindly back off. True to form, the small gathering of ponies that appeared to have gathered around her at some point during her fainting spell wisely took a few hoof steps away, allowing the irate mare a few precious moments to take stock of her surroundings.
Judging by the mass of gaudy palm trees and priceless fabrics (damn rich bastards) that stretched as far as her disoriented eye could see, she was still very much in the so-called 'Gilgamesh residence'. In fact, she hadn't been moved a single inch from the spot where she had first lost her senses. Rarity felt a spark of indignation igniting in her chest. What kind of uncivilized barbarian left a passed out lady lying of the floor for what seemed to be the better part of several minutes? On that matter, where was Pinkie Pie? She could understand if these ruffians left her to gather dust on the floor, but surely her friend would have done something, especially at the point where she was being slapped senseless. Ugh, she would have to have a talk with Lyra later.
That was a conversation for another time however.
For the moment, Rarity was more concerned with finding her wayward friend. Hastily scanning the surrounding throng of equines, she quickly discerned that Pinkie was not amongst them, and, judging by the current state of calm and stillness pervading the kitchens, buffet and house overall, she ruled out the possibility of Pinkie simply wandering about. No matter how much her eyes darted around the room, she couldn't spot the cotton candy-colored menace anywhere, not a single flash of cotton pink anywhere.
Being left unconscious of the floor for an undetermined amount of time...and getting slapped silly (oh she and Lyra would talk) aside, Pinkie Pie's absence struck Rarity as rather worrying. No matter how easily distracted and ‘excitable’ the pink party pony was, it was an inarguable impossibility that she would abandon the seamstress in her time of need. At the very, very least, Rarity had expected Pinkie to be watching over her, noisily awaiting the moment Rarity would regain her senses.
Worrying indeed. Had something happened to her exuberant acquaintance?
"L...l...lyra..." She begun, pausing for a moment to frown at her difficulty in initiating casual conversation. There appeared to be some...lingering numbness around her cheeks, manifesting itself into a stutter. (For how long, in Celestia's name, had the musician been hitting her?).
Lyra for her part, stared on owlishly, seemingly anxious for the mare to complete her sentence.
"L...L...ugh...Lyra, where's Pinkie?"
For a full second further, Lyra appeared to study her, before suddenly, to Rarity's great surprise, the musician brought a hoof over her chest, as if to calm a racing heart. Unleashing a positively gigantic sigh of utter relief, Rarity raised a delicate eyebrow. She hadn’t been out for THAT long...had she?
"Oh thank Celestia! You’re back with us!" The musician exclaimed, her rear limply plopping into the ground.
"Did...something happen while I was unconscious?" Rarity inquired, growing a smidge suspicious.
"What? Ah! No, no. Nothing! I'm just happy that we don't have to throw you out in the streets along with yesterday's garbage!"
Rarity took the tiniest fraction of a second to actually process that.
"Pardon me darling, but...What?!"
"Hey boss! She's awake! We didn't even have to resort to jabbing her with a knife!" Lyra shouted off the side.
"What?!"
"Good! About time! I was ready to order the guards to throw her out on the streets along with yesterday's garbage!"
"What?!"
Indignant and outraged, Rarity whirled about, viciously homing in to the source of that insufferable snobbish voice. What her purple orbs finally settle upon was, of course, the insultingly disinterested visage of a particular crimson-eyed colt. A stallion in possession of an admittedly brilliant and positively radiant golden coat, stallion who's front legs were decorated with what appeared to be exotic tribal tattoos of vibrant crimson, a stallion whose body was dressed in various pieces of antique trinkets and jewelry and, most importantly, a stallion who was currently engaged at looking down at her. His gaze impassionate and dismissive, he painted an utterly enraging image perched as he was on that preposterous three pony-lengths tall solid throne on the middle of the living room. He wasn't sitting properly, the calm and now admittedly tiny, part of Rarity noted. His back legs were hanging limply off the edge of the throne, his back erect with single frond hoof supporting his deplorable smiling muzzle against the armrest. It looked unbelievably uncomfortable and undeniably uncivilized for a pony to use.
During her brief period of captivity, Rarity had witnessed diamond dogs sometimes adopting a similar position upon wayward rocks when their front paws tired. Had she been of a more tranquil state of mind, Rarity would have wondered if this meant that their new and obviously wealthy neighbor had attained or maintained his unreasonable inheritance through close relations with the bipedal creatures-perhaps a merchant of a sort.
That is to say, she would have wondered as such was she not so overcome with righteous female wrath as she was.
“Excuse me, dear sir..." The seamstress hissed, her voice positively dripping with venom in that subtle way only an infuriated lady of class could. "...but I do have to ask you to repeat your last words."
In response, the conceited ruffian raised his head, turning his nose in the air he regarded Rarity with narrowed eyes, as if grazing at her, truly looking at her, for the first time.
“Hoh?" He drawled. "You would have a king repeat himself, seamstress? You are quite bold."
Pointedly ignoring the lightly veiled threat hidden in his tone, Rarity matched the stallion's steady, piercing gaze, stubbornly refusing to question his prior knowledge of her person.
"A...king, you say?" She stated flatly. "I regret to inform you, sir, that no 'king' of which I know would be as crass as to use such a petty methodology and attitude in treating his guests."
In an instant, the stallion's eyes hardened dangerously. Rarity however, would not be deterred and relentlessly soldiered on with her criticism.
"It takes more than blue blood and impressive, carelessly flaunted wealth to uphold a title of nobility. If you wish to retain the respect of your subjects and acquaintances then I would strongly suggest you stop leaving your visitors to gather dust on your marble encrusted floor after they are shocked out of their senses by your insultingly gaudy taste of decor."
"Why you-" The stallion growled, his voice low and threatening as he bore down over her.
She did not let him act however, apparently having one final say.
"And on that note!" She exclaimed, her voice steady and strong. "This throne is also quite...quite unnecessary!"
"ENOUGH!" The noble pony snapped, growling savagely, his teeth gashing in an open and shocking display of raw animalistic aggression, one of such ferocity that Rarity would never have believed possible by any sort of civilized pony. For one brief, horrifying second, Rarity feared that the noble pony would fall upon her, lunging down from his glimmering throne to tear her apart with his very hooves. A comparative analogy flashed abidingly into her mind. 'Like a manticore upon a rabbit' she could not help but think.
That moment however, thank Celestia and all that she stood for, soon passed, as the monster in front of her...pony...not monster, pony, unleashed a sudden amused huff, making her, tense as she was, do a little jump. Distantly, Rarity noted that she had not been the only pony present to be affected by the strange phenomenon. Rarity was shocked to realize that nearly if not all of the household staff witnessing the exchange, all who by that point had retreated to a few steps behind her, had flinched away at that exact same instant.
"It’s been a long time since one had the nerve to talk to me in such a manner." The golden stallion's mirthful voice sounded, breaking Rarity out of her reverie. Hesitantly, still shaken by the primal instinct of danger that she now believed to have imagined just a few moments before, she turned to watch him and found his visage gazing down gleefully at her form.
"I find your insolence amusing, seamstress. Consider yourself honored." He stated, smiling down at her in a manner that Rarity could fleetingly consider as gloating.
The white mare's response was but a single loud sniff trying to hide her feelings of humiliation and defeat that currently threatened to overwhelm her. He had spooked her and he knew it.
"Well..." she started, "I'm happy to know that I am at least amusing to you," silently hoping it sounded more biting that how she currently felt it to.
The stallion laughed.
"Yes, indeed you should." He stated, his tone once more making Rarity's hackles rise. "Regardless, let us leave this frivolous and pointless talk behind us for now, shall we? After all, we do have more important things to discuss."
Although privately happy for this sudden turn of the conversation to hopefully more casual subjects and tone, Rarity couldn’t help but crease her eyebrows questioningly at the noble and frightening stallion.
"Things to discuss? I am afraid you have me at a loss sir. What manner of subject do we have to talk about, if I may so ask?"
The positively vicious grin that appeared on the stallion's face did nothing to drown out Rarity's sudden sense of dread.
"Why, the subject of one Twilight Sparkle I believe."
"Ah...Yes, actually I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that particular subject myself!"
"Is that so? How amusing! Very well, let us talk!"
"Let me start by saying that..."
"How powerful is she?"
"...Twilight is really smart but a bit on the naive and innocent side so..." Pause. "Wait, what?"
"I heard she was quite renowned for her skills in the magic arts."
Rarity was DEFINITELY getting bad vibes out of this.
---
"L-LET ME GO! LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!
"Whoa Dash, chill, I-"
"LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW OR-OR-OR...OR I'LL KICK YOU SORRY FLANK!"
"Alright, alright jeez, just gimme a second to...ugh...Damn knot!"
"OH I'LL GIVE YOU A SECOND ALRIGHT! I'LL GIVE A SECOND HEAD START BEFORE I-"
"There we go!"
Any further arguments or threats Rainbow Dash had to offer were quickly dismissed as her face became painfully acquainted with the hard soil of Everfree Forest.
"Oh! Whoa! Sorry about that! But...well, it really is kinda your fault. You didn't have to struggle this much,” stated the foalnapper as a matter of fact, carelessly throwing the pony-sized black sack to the side. Before it even had the chance to hit the ground, a rainbow-colored stream rammed into her side with the force of a pony-loaded party cannon, bowling her over with the ease that a dragon could topple a particularly malnourished tree. When the world finally came into focus a second after the impact, the griffon found herself looking up into the raw embodiment of anger that was currently pinning her down against the root-infested grounds of Everfree Forest's outskirts.
"MY FAULT?! WHO THE BLOODY HECK YOU THINK YOU-" Rainbow Dash came to a sudden halt as the realization of who she was standing over hit her like a sack of bricks. "-Gilda?"
The griffon gave a nervous chuckle.
"Yep, long time no see, eh Dash?"
The dull sound of hoof striking beak and subsequent squawk of pain somehow managed to resound through the entirety of Everfree.
"HOLY GIZZARD OF FRANQUA!"
"You had it coming!"
"THAT BUCKING HURT!"
"Yeah, well, maybe you should have thought of that before YOU PUT ME A SAC"
"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"
"YOU. PUT. ME. IN A SAC!"
"NOT COOL DASH! NOT COOL!"
"Yeah whatever! APOLOGIZE!"
"OKAY!...okay, jeez, I’m s-s-s-"
"Say it!"
"S...s...s...soourrry for sacking you....Yeah, that's all your gonna get."
"Humph!" The rainbow flyer acknowledged, grudgingly dismounting from her fallen former-friend.
"Thanks. Man, you really need to take a chill pill. That was almost as bad as that time I had to break you up with that Scorch jerk back at flight school!" Griffon mumbled shakily getting back to her claws.
"Not helping your cause here." Dash growled, causing Gilda to raise her front claws soothingly in front of her.
"Calm down, calm down. Remember what Buddy from anger management said. Repeat with me. Fusraba."
"What are you doing here Gilda?" Rainbow Dash deadpanned.
At least the griffon had the decency to look a smidge sheepish at that question.
"Well...Look, I know you and me didn't exactly separate on the best terms last time we met-"
"Understatement."
"...With that whole Pinkie Pie incident and al...”
"All your fault."
"-But you are still kinda my friend and something happened that felt that I had to warn you about. I was...worried for you Dash."
"And whoa, do you have a way with being worried! Sneaking up on me, foalnapping me, putting me in a damn sac and-"
"Okay, look, stop that! I know that wasn't the proper way to go about this but you weren't exactly sad to see me go last time, and this is
too important to risk being brushed off." Gilda shouted, waving her claws urgently. To her satisfaction Dash seemed to pause at her words. Encouraged, she dived in for the kill. "
Look, I know I’m bad with ponies and making friends and all that jazz. By pony standards I can be annoying and rude sometimes, I admit it. I'm not good with listening and depending on others, I’m not good playing fair, I’m not good at being kind to ponies I don't know and I’m definitely not good at sitting back as my flight-school buddy gets taken away from me by some weird mare that keeps pissing me off! I don't know if you ever been there, or if you ever heard of this, but that kind of stuff gets you killed and or taken advantaged off in the Griffon kingdoms. I understand that ain’t the way you do things. You don't like it. Fine! I'm s-s-s-s...s...sowy, whatever. You don't have to like me, just hear me out for a second. This is really, really important."
Rainbow Dash frowned. Something was off about this. Very, very off.
"What's going on G? Why are you telling me this? I KNOW you. There is no bucking way in Tartarus you would suddenly come out in the open like this about stuff like that. It’s just not you. Talk to me G."
Victorious, Gilda could only smile.
"Something big is going down in the Griffon kingdoms, Dash. Something really huge, and I don't like it one bit and neither will you. You need to gather up your stuff and get the buck out of Dodge as soon as possible."
"I'm listening."
---
"Royal Canterlot Academy of Magic? Sounds prestigious!"
"Oh, quite so. It’s the best research and education institution in all of Equestria as far as magic is concerned."
"And you say she graduated with honors?"
"The highest! She is the princess's personal student after all."
"Ah, yes, this...Celesta."
"Beg your pardon?"
"I have discovered that I don't care much for what I heard of her. She sounds like a repulsively boring and dreadfully unpleasant person. A ruler that refers to herself a princess instead of queen. How droll."
"Person? No, more importantly, that is entirely inappropriate! For the umpteenth time, please refrain from making such horrible statements!"
"Is that so?"
"Quite."
Sat as he did upon his golden throne, the King of Heroes gazed down silently at the form of the white unicorn, Rarity her name was, and, against all reason, was intrigued. This creature was incredibly entertaining. Her temperament was one of great pride and confidence. She took great value in herself, cherishing all that she owned and fighting fiercely for all that she dreamed and hoped. Within her roared a primal desire to never let any trample what she held dear and the resolve of doing so in a subtle and delicate manner that would not overstep her strict, self-imposed code of conduct. In such ways she was so similar to his beloved Saber. Loyal to her duties and hopelessly stubborn in her believes.
However, in how many ways she was similar, in twice as many she was less. This Rarity was ultimately a weak and cowardly creature. For all her resolve she simply lacked the strength necessary to turn her dreams to reality. She was petty and prideful. Too mindful of the opinions of others and easily derailed from her cause when her effort hit a wall she was unwilling to face. Walls and obstacles her unwavering pride and narcissism tended to lead her.
She had too many attachments and no real all-consuming ambition to drive her to her cause. She wasn't willing to sacrifice a leg or an eye, let alone her life for the goals she set for herself. Worse yet, she too, as all Gilgamesh had met in that world, had fallen prey to this devilish state of detrimental contentment, false safety and unblemished innocence that seemed to poison all the land and its inhabitant. True, the effect was less upon her than most Equestrians, but it was still there. Rarity, this seamstress, did not have it, it being the spirit that created heroes out of men. That
desire, that drive, that all-consuming need to improve, to evolve, to become, to move forwards and crush all and any that opposed underfoot regardless of what one had to sacrifice.
Yes, it was hard to believe, Gilgamesh reflected, that the creature before him, barely able to conceal her fear for himself, was one of the wielders of the most powerful magical artifacts in Equestria. Elements of Harmony, Element of Generosity. Such a deplorable name. Unfitting for one that Gilgamesh heard being referred to as a hero. Indeed, this Rarity, and most likely all of her friends, would likely never be considered heroes by any of Gilgamesh's definition of the word.
Yet, she was so much fun to play with.
For the last half an hour he had the chance to toy with her. Threw upon her veiled insult upon veiled insult, heresy upon heresy, testing her, waiting to see when his words would finally prove challenging enough for her to lose her paper-thin temper and ignore her pacifistic nature to make a physical attempt against him. Or, perhaps, more fittingly, waiting to see when her rage and indignation would win over the mind numbing fear and alarm he saw etched upon her soul. Most probably, she hadn't even noticed the true extend of her own terror by this point, didn't take note how she let him delicately trample over all that she held sacred or didn’t deem bad enough to act against yet.
To be fair, Gilgamesh couldn't blame her. This was probably the first time such a sheltered and delicate creature came face to face with a truly ruthless and unforgiving being such as himself. The mere presence of a servant was enough to enact a primal fear and worry within the trained killers who had enough magical sensibility to understand their true nature. What stood before him was no hardened mage-warrior, but a civilian unicorn, a gifted one perhaps, but one who could not even comprehend of accept the nature of the anxiety inside her.
His curiosity sparked, Gilgamesh made a decision to visit that nearby ‘Everfree’ Forest he had heard so much about. Perhaps a meeting with one of this world's predators would give him greater insight to these creatures referred to as ponies.
After all, he did use to enjoy hunting in the forests of Uruk when he was young...and alive.
Regardless, this little game was beginning to bore him. He had already gained enough information on this...Twilight. Horrid name but he could work around it. It was time to bring this to close, perhaps even make a good impression while he was at it.
Not that he cared, really.
"Well, Miss Rarity. I believe I’ve heard enough. You have been useful in providing me with sensitive information concerning your friend."
To his delight, Rarity frowned at his particular choice of words. She was quick to provide a retort.
"It’s not really sensitive information per say. Most, if not all, of what you have asked was more or less public knowledge. Quite frankly, I am surprised you were unfamiliar with it."
"Oh, quite right. Most of the material you provided I have already gathered through my assistant. I judged it prudent, however, to confirm most of it from one of her close acquaintances."
"Assistant?"
"Yes, I believe that you know her as Ditzy Doo."
"Ditzy? She works for you? Here?"
"I'm not surprised if you didn't know. She only came under my employ a few day ago."
"I see...Well...actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you a few things, if you don't mind."
"Hoh?" Interesting. "Your lord allows it!"
"...thank you for your permission…my lord..."
"Indeed," He said, nonchalantly waving her off. "I am quite generous, am I not?"
A pause.
"Right."
"We have already been talking for quite some time." Gilgamesh said, offhandedly, motioning to the side at one of the wandering pony butlers. "I have just requested some wine for my honored guest and me. I ask that you retain your questions until it arrives."
"Well...I am indeed quite parched." Rarity stated. "You appear to have a way with running the ponies around you rugged."
"That's what a king does best, little girl." He grinned, much to her obvious chagrin.
Ignoring her ire, he nodded off to yet another pony, this time on the opposite side of the room. From the corner of her eye, Rarity looked on as Lyra picked up her synonymous instrument and climbed up to the prominent pile of priceless pillows nearby. Perching herself upon them, she spend a second to make herself comfortable. The golden-clad mare gently lifted her lyre, gently running the tips of her hooves over individual strings in rapid succession.
It was an interesting sound, she reflected. This was the first time the seamstress of Ponyville had heard the mint unicorn perform her special talent. It was quite...mesmerizing. Peculiar as well, that a pony with only her hooves could use such an awkward instrument at such great effect. Focusing closely, Rarity could see faint flashes of magic over each and every string strung by the passing of Lyra's hooves. Ah! It was almost unnoticeable, but it explained a great lot.
Distantly, Rarity took stock as a wooden coffee table, barring a goblet of pure gold, was placed next to her by a large colt of a vibrant brown coat and mane. He briefly acknowledged her silent thanks with a nod of his head, before turning away and vanishing amongst the multitude of exotic fabrics once more.
"A toast!" Gilgamesh suddenly exclaimed, swiftly regaining her full attention. It appeared that at some point during her reverie, her own refreshment had arrived as well. He had raised his goblet over his head and was looking down at her expectantly.
"Ah! Yes." She spoke, feeling a bit out of sync by the stallion's overall peculiar attitude. Gingerly, she reached out with her magic, raising her drink in a similar manner. How odd she realized suddenly. The new ‘noblecolt’ of Ponyville currently holding up his wine, was doing as such with his left hoof rather than through the use of his horn. He was a unicorn after all. This was...peculiar. Still, from what she had seen up to now, little of his attitude and quirks was able to surprise her.
"To new houses and acquaintances. May they both prosper." He claimed boldly, bringing his drink to his lips. Privately, however, he was contemplating the sight of the thin veil of magic surrounding Rarity's own cup as she delicately moved it to her mouth. He really needed to find a way to get the hang of that.
Taking a small sip as to be polite, Rarity took a second to study the golden stallion. What a peculiar...and unpleasant...new resident Ponyville had gained. While demanding immediate satisfaction of his own curiosity, he stalled and drabbled with pointless platitudes and unnecessary formalities when it came to hers.
Well, this was quite enough.
Gently placing her cup back on the table, she turned to address him.
"You are most kind my lord. However, I am afraid that there is still something of grave importance to be discussed and really, it cannot wait."
"So you claim." Goblet still in hoof, he lightly swirled the wine within as he regarded her. "Very well, speak."
"I seem to be missing a friend, Sir Gilgamesh."
"Ah, yes..."
*fifty minutes earlier*
"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygsoh! Rarity, wake up!"
"Cease your prattling, you insufferable twit!"
"Stay away from my friend unholy specter from beyond the veil!"
"For the last-"
"I won't be fooled a second time!"
"Gah! OH THE LOVE OF-will you stop throwing salt in my FACE?!"
"Back to the netherworld with you, vengeful spirit!"
"Just one instant! Just stand still for one instant and I’ll send you there myself!"
Swords. Swords everywhere, Lyra retreated from her opposition at the other end of the room, an obligatory safety distance away.
"They've been going at it for quite some time." Willow noted next to her.
"Yeah, you'd think the boss would have given up by now." Lyra stated sagely.
"Uh huh, no one can catch Pinkie when she's like that." Red Pepper confirmed.
"You pink abomination! Had I more mana I would skewer you where you stand!!"
"Keep your yucky, spooky ghost weapons to yourself, you stupid ghost!"
"YOU DARE!?"
"And now I'm over here!"
"HOW THE BLOODY [Censored] ARE YOU DOING THAT?"
"Oh you know spacey wasey time whimey."
"You [Censored] I'll [Censored] you until you [Censored] and I’ll keep [Censored] you until you feel it in the [Censored] afterlife! [Censored]!"
"And you kiss your ghost mother with that mouth?"
"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHWHYYOU-"
"SALT-GUN!"
"GAH!"
A stray sword of gold impacted on the wall behind the observing trio, utterly demolishing it and missing Willow's head by an inch.
"I’m starting to doubt the house's ability to survive this." Lyra mused. They would have to cover that hole up with some curtains, she realized.
"The house? Really?" Pepper chose that instant to dodge under a wayward knife.
"I think my life just flashed in front of my eyes." A glassy-eyed Willow stated from the side.
"I don't know about you Red, but I need this job. Bon Bon's been especially bitchy lately."
"Staring death in the face makes a colt realize a few things." Willow droned out.
"Told you! Nice mare but as a roommate? No!"
"Lyra, there's something I need to tell you." Willow suddenly shouted, preparing to bear his heart.
"Yeah, I’ve been meaning talk to you about that." The mint unicorn interjected.
"Hey guys! I'm back!"
"Oh, hey Ditz. How'd the race go?"
"Gil was right. Thunderer came first! On thirty to one odds too. Four hundred thousand bits in one day, can you imagine? Tenth time this month too. What are the odds right?"
"Damn, It’s like that guy is blessed to be unable to lose money or something."
"Whoa! What happened here?"
"Ditzy Doo!"
"Pinkie Pie?"
"DITZY! GET IN HERE THIS INSTANT!"
*Present time*
"...Your...friend." Gilgamesh bit out through clenched teeth.
Rarity blinked.
"...She got quite...excitable..."
"She tends to, darling."
"...So I was forced to send her off with my advisor..."
"Dear Ditzy?"
"...and if she followed my orders as she should, they are probably half way to Cloudsdale by now...Thank the gods." He mumbled.
"She must have been a handful."
"Your friend is an affront to all things natural and the laws of the universe themselves." Gilgamesh deadpanned.
"Allow me to apologize for any trouble she may have caused."
"You’re lucky my advisor asked me to let her live through the night."
"Excuse me darling, I didn't quite catch that."
"You heard me."
"I'd rather pretend I didn't."
---
"So a coup-d’état?"
"Yeah, it all started a few months ago." Gilda elaborated. "I was visiting Aunt Agnes for the annual celebration of King Franqua's victory against the dragons at Mt Adele, when Prince Abelard's castle, the one overlooking the city, suddenly started giving off this weird black smoke."
"As in storm clouds?" Rainbow Dash asked perplexed, running a hoof through her hair. She knew that Griffons had more or less the same weather-controlling innate magic as pegasi did. However, it was common knowledge that they rarely engaged in weather-related research, usually preferring to seek new ways to weaponries their innate abilities. Mass-producing storm clouds was unprecedented in the Griffon kingdoms but it wasn't really all that surprising, considering they shot out lightning. It was a matter of time really.
The Griffon kingdoms were an unusually turbulent place in Equestria. Although the Griffons were all under the rule of one single, high king, each of the thirty-two major kingdoms and cities that composed the realm possessed his own liege or feudal lord, and maaaan, did those guys have it in for each other! Every month Equestria would receive news of some new conflict sparked between two or even four different Griffon countries and for the stupidest of reasons too. ‘He called me a bad name’ that, ‘he looked at my wife funny’ this, as if they didn't already have enough problems dealing with the dragon raids and all.
"Nah, I know storm clouds. Those were definitely NOT storm clouds." Gilda continued.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it looked more like floating sludge than smoke, really. It was really weird. It had a creepy purple glow too."
"Huh. Okay, I’ll bite. Weird smoke. So what?"
"At first everyone was pretty cool with it, you know? There were rumors of some new weapons research going on in the palace and weird things like that were always kinda normal when you’re dealing with new experimental magics. An hour later though, it was still going. Holy talons Dash, it covered up the sun for the.entire.day. We all sort of freaked out and went to have a look at what was happening, but the castle was lock up tight. None of us could get through. Worse yet, we couldn't see a single one of the guards. It was as if all of them vanished completely or something. We're still kinda looking for them."
"Whoa there girl. You're going all eldritch horror on me over here. You kinda starting to freak me out."
"Yeah? Well, that ain’t even half of it." Gilda exclaimed, waving a telling talon around to enforce her point. "At some point before sunset, the whole mass of black ink just imploded over us. It gathered up into this tiny ball over the sun before bursting into this huge shockwave that cleared up the skies for a couple of kilometers in all directions."
"A few kilometers? Seriously?"
"Yep! Next thing we know, the Ambroise arrive, you know, the High King's royal guard?"
"I know."
"Well, they march right in the city and shove us all back in our houses before all but storming the castle. Guess what, everyone was gone Dash. All they found was the Prince half dead in the research room with all the equipment completely totaled!"
"Whoa, trippy."
"Yeah."
"Still." Dash said, a frown forming on her face. "How does this, interesting as it is, have anything to do with me? Or Equestria for that matter? If you wanted advice on magic, you should have gone to Twilight, not sneak up behind me and put me a damn sac and-"
"Will you get over that and listen to me? I'm not done!"
"Pssh! Fine! Just get this over with."
"Nice to see the old Rainbow patience at work, Dash."
"Whatever." Rainbow grunted, crossing her front hooves over her chest.
"Okay, buckle up because this will blow you mind."
"Giiiildaaaa!" The pegasus warned.
"Fine, fine. Check it. The High King and half the royal family were assassinated!"
"WHAT?"
"Oh don't look so queasy, you ponies and your squeamish nature."
"Gilda! You told me that the Griffon Royal family consisted of sixty-four griffins! How the buck did they end up dead? Who did this? Worse yet, how the buck did we not hear about this?" Rainbow all but screamed.
Gilda was quick to slam a talon over her muzzle.
"Keep it down Dash, there's a reason why you haven't heard this. The entirety of the council did bucking unspeakable things to keep this situation from Equestrian eyes, at least if the rumors are to be believed. If word gets out that you heard this from someone, worse yet, that you
heard this from me, I’m gonna be bucked soooooo damn hard it won't even be fun."
Dash swiftly slapped the offending appendage away, glaring at her friend but heading her warning. When she spoke next, her voice was quiet yet harsh.
"Who did this?"
"Three guesses Dash."
The pegasus glared, how could she possible know who...oh no. Suddenly, she knew, and it probably showed since Gilda was quick on picking up on her sudden revelation.
"Yeah, that's right. Prince Abelard. King Abelard now. Can you believe it? This guy was pretty much the nicest griffon in the political stage. The dude was practically too soft for his own good, and, one day, he just suddenly orders the execution of his brothers and sisters before matching right into the royal palace with an host of a few thousand Griffons and straight out executing his dad. I heard that not even the queen escaped the chopping block." Perhaps the finger Gilda drew across her throat was rather unnecessary in hindsight.
Rainbow Dash was looking pretty sick by this point. This wasn't exactly the type of conversations that ponies reveled in hearing.
"Again..." Rainbow managed to ground out. "...why are you telling me this?"
"Come on Dash, do the math!" Gilda exclaimed exasperated. "A gigantic political and military shift, a blood-thirsty and ruthless radical ascending the throne through blatant use of military force, the council doing the unthinkable to keep it a secret from everyone, especially Equestria. Come on! I'm spelling out for you!"
"Three seconds Gilda!"
"Ok fine! Look, my Uncle Aloys from my mother's side is part of the council! Remember when I introduced him to you? Well, he took a liking to you and he has a huge bone to pick with the current king for pretty much slaughtering half of Griffonia's ruling class. He helped me get into
Equestrian's airspace. Not bucking easy in the current state of affairs mind you. And he told me to tell you this. In four days there's gonna be a summit of several noble houses from all over the world at Canterlot, hosted by your princess. Literally every rich jerk who has any sort of power over anything will be there. Whether diamond dog, dragon, griffon, pony or whatever, they will be there. At the height of the evening banquet, during Celestia's traditional speech for unity between nations, the griffon ambassador will-"
"No..." Dash could see where this is going. Her heart skipped a beat and her face paled.
"That's right! The Griffon ambassador will declare war upon Equestria!"
"No...no-no-nononononononono-"
"Dash, listen! This is not the worst of it!" Gilda shouted grabbing her rumbling friend by her shoulders.
"Not...the...worst? How can anything be worse than this?" Rainbow Dash screeched.
"The High King told the council that he had discovered a way to match Celestia's and Luna's power, but he declared that leaving the Elements of Harmony into enemy hands was too risky!"
"What are you saying?"
"DASH! I said anyone with any sort of power over anything will be invited at that meeting, including you and your friends! The High King is going to have one of you KILLED!"
Rainbow dash could only gape.
"You didn't hear it from me!"
---
It had indeed been a stimulating evening, Gilgamesh admitted to himself as he followed the retreating forms of the white unicorn, Rarity, and the household’s own mint musician. In a boring world such as this, a day of visits and chaos like this was invaluable. It was almost sad to see it end. He had experienced such entertainment in expense of the seamstress.
He grinned as she turned her head to send him a brief irate glare over her hunches.
"Don't forget. Sixteen uniforms of the finest silk...well, the finest that you can afford." Oh that glare! That stewing rage! It sparked such amusement in him. It almost made up that order of second-class clothing he had ultimately been goaded into to requesting from her. Barely, but hey, it was better than going around blindly in this world looking for a capable tailor.
The sound of the household's front gate slamming shut reached his ears and soon after, Rarity's green escort returned, requesting to retire for the day. Things had gone just about good enough today for him to allow it.
And just like that, the day came to an end. All that was left was dinner and sleep. Not that say, that Gilgamesh didn't have a lot planned for the next day. Quite the contrary.
For tomorrow, you see, was hunting day.
Gilgamesh himself was preparing to retreat to the dining hall when his ‘trusted’ advisor approached him from behind.
"Hey Gil." He let it slide. Really, she was unteachable.
"I assume the pink menace did not follow you here."
"Pinkie? Nah, she got tired after the fifth roller-coaster. She's back at Sugarcube Corner right now."
"That is reassuring to hear."
"She did tell me to tell you something, though. Uhhhh...let see...if Rarity is hurt in anyway or her soul gets stolen or she's dragged kicking and screaming into the underworld, she's totally busting out the proton pack and containment unit in her basement."
"Dully noted."
"Oh, and, uh...something came for you from the mail office today."
"Hoh? Is that so?"
"Yep!" She exclaimed, raising a formal alabaster envelope for him to see.
"From...Canterlot? That's the pony capital, is it not?"
"Home to Princess Celestia!"
"...I'll take that as a yes."
"Soooooo...What is it?"
"My mail is not really your business...but it appears to be some sort of invite."
"Ooohhhh! An invitation from Canterlot? Whoa! For what? What does it say? What does it say?"
"Calm down Ditzy..."
“Awwwww…”
"Hmmm…Ditzy...it appears you and me are going on a little trip in a few days."
"Yay!"
Third verse/Warnings: END
---
"Begone evil spirit! Your place is not amongst the living!"
"You annoy me, witch."
"Howdy there sir! Are you that fella that moved into Peppermint’s?"
"I don't know Scoots, he looks kinda weird."
"To think that something such as you would exist in this world."
"Interesting! Gate of. Babylon!!"
---
And there you have. I know it’s been a bit late, but I hope it was enjoyable. Now, as I have said I should in the past, I will leave you for times undetermined with this list of Gilgamesh's current stats as a servant, graded from A++ to E, in Fate/Misplaced:
Spirit: Gilgamesh Master: None Alignment: Chaotic Good N. Phantasm Grade: EX Strength: C Agility: D Mana: D Endurance: E Luck: A
Class skills: Independent Action: A+ Magic Resistance: E
Personal skills: Charisma: B Divinity: C (A+)
Golden Rule: A
Noble Phantasms: Ea - Anti-World - Rank EX – Unusable
Enkidu - Anti-Unit - Rank undetermined - Unusable Gate of Babylon - Anti-Army - Rank E to A++ - Useable as a Rank C Noble phantasm.
The Hero King Gilgamesh
Independent Action
Servant can remain in this world indefinitely even without a Master. However, in order to activate his Noble Phantasm, it is necessary to first acquire an extra supply of prana from alternative sources. His current source is the incredible mana thick atmosphere of Equestria.
Magic Resistance
Cannot cancel spells, but magic damage is reduced somewhat.
Charisma
Originally A: At this point, it is no longer popularity, but rather a kind of spell (curse) in itself. Currently B: Suitable for a king of a country.
Divinity
Measures whenever one has Divine Spirit aptitude. Originally at A due to being 2/3 demigod, but reduced due to his dislike of the gods. At present reduced to rank C due to prolonged exposure to Angra Mainyu's corruptive influence. Angra Mainyu initially believed to be a manifestation of the Persian god of darkness that tainted the Holy Grail from within by exposing it and all that it contained to 'all the evils in the world'.
Golden Rule
Money problems are completely unknown.