//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 // Story: I’m fine! // by Betsy //------------------------------// When Fluttershy told Dash she needed to take Tank to a vet all of her friends offered to come with her and Tank. Dash told them that she didn’t want a lot of ponies there, just one or two. Twilight didn’t say it but she had a bad feeling about what the vet would have to say. So she and Fluttershy decided to accompany Rainbow to the vet. Twilight went in with Rainbow and Fluttershy waited outside in case there was a need for a shoulder to cry on. The vet walked in the room with a clipboard and looked at Rainbow and Twilight with a somber expression. “I’m so sorry Miss Dash, we ran scans and tests but there’s nothing we can do for him. The best thing you can do for Tank right now is to have him put down.” Rainbow was speechless. All her composure had jumped out the window upon hearing the news. She looked at Twilight and saw tears escaping and running down her cheeks. Dash didn’t nod her head or speak but Twilight could see the answer behind those glossy magenta eyes.  She nodded to the vet who walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. The room would have been silent if not for the sniffles escaping the two mares. Neither could believe it. Rainbow came in, certain that they’d have some answers and be able to help Tank get better. Twilight prepared herself for the worst but it still hurt to see how crushed Dash was and know that there was nothing they could do to help Tank.  “I remember this one time when you were out of town for your Wonderbolt show in Manehattan. Do you remember that, Rainbow?” Nothing. Rainbow Dash didn’t even acknowledge the question.  “Well, you had asked me to watch Tank, and” Twilight snickered. “I followed the list that you wrote and when it was time for bed I put Tank in a little bed beside Spikes. I woke up and went to wake them up for breakfast, and he wasn’t there! Spike and I had no idea where he went and we looked all over the castle for him.”  Twilight smiled and chuckled. “We practically turned the castle upside down. I was so nervous when you came home because I was so scared you’d be mad at me for losing him. Do you remember what you did when I told you?” Again. Nothing. Damnit Twi, stop talking. Please... “You just looked at us and laughed. You asked which room he slept in and I showed you. You looked around and went for Spike’s closet. Tank was in there and had burrowed in Spikes extra blankets.”  Twilight stopped her reminiscing and looked at her friend with concern and sympathy. She was just standing there and looking at nothing in particular Rainbow Dash was looking at the door. She was thinking, begging, wondering, wishing, just hoping. She was thinking about how as soon as that door opened she’d have to say goodbye to one of her best friends in all of Equestria. Begging for Twilight to stop talking about Tank. Rainbow knew her heart was in the right place. Twilight wanted to make her feel better but she was just making it worse. She was usually good at helping and making other ponies feel better but in this situation, what Dash really needed right now, was for Twilight to just shut up.  Rainbow was also wondering how the hell she got here. It just didn’t make sense, why now? Why him? Why her? She was praying and hoping with everything she had that the vet would come through the door and tell Dash that it was ok. Tell her that they messed up and there actually was something they could do about Tank. Even if the vet came through the door and said it was all a joke and that Tank was always fine! Rainbow didn’t care. She just wished it wasn’t true. Unfortunately, none of that would happen. What did happen was something Rainbow Dash would remember and think about for the rest of her life. She would dream about it, have nightmares, cry about it. But we’re not there yet.  The vet came in the door carrying Tank, he wrapped up in a blanket with something on his little arm. He looked scared… like really scared, and it tore at Rainbow's heart. It felt like hours. The vet handed Tank to Dash and she finally saw how much he was hurting. She knew this was best for him, it’d be unfair for Rainbow to keep Tank here just because she’d miss him.  Dash whispered to Tank “Hey Tank.” She wanted to act tough for him. “I’m gonna miss you so much, buddy.” But her voice started cracking. “But you’re doing so good.”. She just loved him so much, and seeing him here, like this… was almost too much for her.  “Are we ready?’ The Vet asked. Dash wanted to respond but she was frozen. She just needed one more second with him, she wanted to say something else to him. Anything else!  “Yes, we’re ready,” Twilight responded.  Wait no, I still have more to say to him!  “Ok, but just so you know, their eyes don’t actually close. They’ll stay open” The vet said all of this and moved as if she’d done this thousand of times before. She probably had but this was Rainbow’s first time.  She had lost a pet before but that was when she was just a filly. It was sudden and had still hurt, but she was young and didn’t remember all of the earlier parts of their relationship. But within the past week, she saw Tank get worse. If she was honest she’d seen it in the past years.  The vet injected the medication. Rainbow was holding Tank and had his foot in her hoof. Tank was shaking and looked back at Rainbow. It was agonizingly slow, but at the same time so quick. His head went back, and then his chest stopped moving, and he went limp.  She couldn’t hold it back anymore. Dash cried and so did Twilight. The vet left them. Rainbow cried so much it gave her a headache. He was gone. Tank was really gone, and he couldn’t come back. It had always been sad when he went into hibernation for the winter but he had always come back.  When the vet came back she had a box ready for them. She gave the two her condolences but it seemed rehearsed. Can’t you just try? Just pretend that you care! I just lost one of my best friends and you act like you’re just waiting for your shift to be over! All of a sudden Dash found herself outside of the vet clinic with Twilight beside her, levitating the box with her magic. She was still crying but she couldn’t feel it, or anything else for that matter. Everything that just happened was a blur and Rainbow felt empty.  They had decided that Tank would be buried behind Fluttershy’s house. She was the one who Took care of Tank before Rainbow and she was the one who suggested he be Dash’s pet. How had she known that they'd be such a perfect fit for each other?  A few minutes after arriving at Fluttershy's Cottage Twilight left. She felt that at this point Fluttershy would be a better comfort to Rainbow. Fluttershy had that effect on ponies, she always made them feel comfortable and welcome. Rainbow was sitting on the couch bride Fluttershy. The quiet yellow mare poured some tea for her grieving friend. Having been around animals most of her life, Fluttershy knew how much it hurt to lose one and what Dash was going through right now. They hadn't spoken a word but it was ok. The two sat and cried together, It was exactly what Rainbow needed, some good catharsis. After about 40 minutes they were dried out and Fluttershy made tea. Applejack came in from the back door and walked over to the pair on the couch. She took off her hat and held it to her chest.  “I finished diggin’ the hole.” She leaned and gave Dash a hug which she could barely return. “Do yall need an’thing else? I can stay to help lower the box in.” Fluttershy put her hoof on Applejack’s and spoke softly, “We can manage from here. Thank you Applejack.  AJ nodded and looked at Rainbow one more time, wondering whether or not to say anything to her. She decided against it and left.  Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash sat in silence for a few more minutes. “Are you ready or do you want to wait a bit longer?” Rainbow said nothing again but Fluttershy had years of practice reading Rainbows’ silences. She got up off the couch and Dash followed. They walked out back and stood at the hole Applejack had dug. It was a few inches wider and deeper than the box. There was a shovel and pile of dirt off to the side so they could cover it back up.  Fluttershy lowered Tank’s box into the hole and stood beside Rainbow Dash.  “Goodbye, buddy.” Rainbow began. “I’m gonna miss you so so much. You were the best flying buddy and you were always there for me.” as Rainbow spoke, other animals came to pay their respects. “Thanks for putting up with me for all these years. You were always so cool about listening to me go on and on about Daring Do and wearing our matching robes and slippers. Although I know you grew to love them. Just like I love you.” Rainbow stopped and spoke to Fluttershy. “Ok. I’m ready.” Fluttershy and Rainbow filled in the hole and sat down. Rainbow leaned on Fluttershy and softly, they began to cry again.