The echo on the side of the bed rang it’s alarm, and a lime green unicorn groaned and shuffled around in bed.
“Ugh. Alexa, stop. Damn… I really need to stop staying up so late.”
The unicorn sighed and reached for the glasses on the nightstand, only to stop when he noticed his hoof.
“…huh. Is this what a lucid dream feels like? Well this is weird. I’m waking myself up.”
The unicorn slapped himself across the face. He looked back to his hoof, blinked, rubbed his eyes and put his glasses on, blinked again.
“Okay… WHAT THE FUCK?!?!!”
The unicorn tried to rip their sheets off, but they couldn’t get a good grip without their lack of fingers. They groaned and lifted the sheets off himself with his mouth. Upon seeing the rest of his body, he froze.
“Well, I’m really confident that I didn’t do any drugs last night, let alone ever, so the only other reasonable explanation is that I’m in hell. Why else would I be a horse?”
The unicorn groaned and rolled out of bed and flopped onto the ground.
“Jeez, how do quadrupeds even stand? This feels weird as hell. If I didn’t know better, I’d say I’m going insane.”
They lifted their front legs up, and then their back. “Okay, I’m standing. Now the hard part. Walking.”
They shakily stepped forward with one of their front legs. That didn’t feel right, so they tried thier back leg next. That felt more natural. They tried walking around their room a little. When they felt confident enough about moving, they walked up and grabbed their robe off of their desk chair.
“Damn I’m short. I can’t even see over my bed without standing on two legs. I’m kinda glad that no one else is home, this is humiliating as hell. I need to get a better look at myself.”
He walked up to the door and found it closed. “…fuck. Guess I’m dragging the chair over.”
After about five minutes of trying to figure out how to drag a chair with his mouth, the unicorn finally managed to climb up within reach of the knob and opened the door. Luckily, the bathroom door was open. Unluckily, the mirror was above the sink, which was now too tall for him to get to.
“You gotta be shittin me. Alright, to the toilet I guess.”
They jumped up onto the toilet cover and then again to the top of it. From there they managed to make it to the counter of the sink. They looked to the mirror and widened their eyes.
“A horn. Of course, I’m a magical fucking unicorn. Sigh, well here’s hoping it does something besides glow and play rave music I guess. Also, why are my eyes so goddamn big? What am I, a fuckin anime horse?”
They took off their bathrobe, and with much more difficulty, their underwear, to find that they had a tattoo plastered on their ass.
“Ok, A) I don’t remember getting a tattoo, and B) why would anyone get a tattoo there of all places?! God, I know I felt that slap and all, but I’m starting to think I’m still dreaming.”
He put his bathrobe back on, and absolutely refusing to pick his underwear up with his mouth, simply pushed it off the counter.
“Alright, back down I go. How am I gonna—WOAH!”
Given that his robe was much too big for his new body, the lime unicorn tripped on it and fell off of the counter onto the hard tiled floor.
“…ow. This just gets better and better. Well I guess I’m down now. I wish I could check my phone with these stupid hooves. Mom and Dad should be back by now. Then again, they not being here is the least surprising thing to happen this morning.”
He went back into his room and collected his phone. Putting it in his robe pocket, he trudged down the stairs.
“Ugh. I’m so fucking tiny. I seriously have to jump down one step at a time? Well whatever. Guess it’s a good thing I’ve started working out again. Something tells me moving around the house is gonna be more strenuous.”
The unicorn looked into the mirror on the wall at the bottom of the stairs and sighed. “Y’know, I’m surprised I’m not freaking out more. I know I’m considered the adaptable type, but not to this extent. Then again, freaking out won’t help much at this point. I think I’ll just watch some TV to take my mind off of how I’ve somehow been turned into a tiny green unicorn. God, it sounds even more ridiculous out loud.”
After turning the TV on *shiver* manually, the unicorn jumped up onto the couch and grabbed the Roku stick.
“Thank god for voice command. Go to YouTube.”
Searching up one of his favorite channels, he put a random video on. “Nothing calms the nerves like drowning in irony.”
About an hour passed by. After watching a couple of Mario Maker videos that were essentially just podcasts, he was getting kind of hungry.
“Hm, no way I’m gonna be able to cook bacon and eggs like this, so I guess Cinnamon Toast Crunch will have to do.”
He walked into the pantry and pulled out one of the only cereals he actually liked. Rather than going to the trouble of trying to get a bowl with his new height, he decided to just pour the cereal into his mouth.
As he went back into the living room, he found his phone vibrating. The caller reading ‘Mom’.
“Shit.” The u I corn funneled with the phone, trying to pick it up. Eventually he managed to answer.
“Hey Mom. Huh, what do you mean ‘Am I safe?’ I’m at the house. Yeah I’ve had kind of a weird morning… okay, a really weird morning but I’m not in danger or anything, calm down.”
The unicorn went silent as he listened to his mother. After a moment his eyes widened. “What do you mean ‘The house is gone’?!”