Twilight Sparkle got off the train, expecting the town to be finishing up the day. Twilight was glad to be back. After a long couple days in Canterlot with Spike, they wanted to do nothing but go to bed. After a quick inspection of the town, they both sighed.
Nothing is ever that easy, is it? She thought.
The town in front of her was a complete mess. Building were standing, but had holes in their walls and their roofs were blown off. It was a miracle they were still standing. Other buildings weren't so lucky, as crumbled remains of houses and shops lined the streets. Twilight could see smoke rising from several places in Ponyville, and screams could easily be heard in the distance, along with animal noises of different kinds. Ponies could be seen either running or hiding from every direction. Even the train station was partially ruined. Twilight looked around and could tell there was a thin layer of multi-colored dust that blanketed the city.
"Wow, A disaster happened in Ponyville, and you weren't here to cause it?" Spike remarked with a grin, despite the current situation. Twilight paid him no mind, but saw an orange blur from the corner of her eye. After turning to the blur, Twilight could see through the rainbow colored dust that it was Applejack approaching her.
"Applejack? What happened here?" Twilight asked.
"Listen Twi, you gotta help me find Pinkie before she ruins anything else."
"Slow down, Applejack and tell me what happened. Where are the rest of our friends?"
"Pinkie caused a disaster, Fluttershy's missin', Rainbow Dash is in a coma, and Rarity's schizophrenic. Any more questions?" Applejack asked sarcastically.
Twilight looked at her incredulously. "You mean to tell me that Pinkie Pie is the cause of all this?"
"You gotta believe me, Twi. We have ta find her."
"I'm not going anywhere until know exactly what happened here."
Applejack sighed and prepared for the explanation. "Pinkie's wearing some messed up shoes that made everypony in town crazy and they started settin' fires an' breakin' stuff. Then, she waterboarded Rarity with a bottle of soda, made an army of critters retaliate against us, an' made Rainbow nuke the town."
It's almost like some kind of bad joke. Twilight thought. She looked around, and the current state of things seemed to confirm Applejack's story. But wait, did she says shoes caused this?
"Applejack, what exactly did you mean when you said that Pinkie's messed up shoes did this?"
The farm pony opened her mouth, but said nothing and started quivering.
"See for yourself." Applejack said pointing a hoof behind Twilight. Turning around, Twilight could see Pinkie bouncing up to her. Looking at her shoes, Applejack expected Twilight to go insane like everypony else. But no insanity came.
"I don't get it." Twilight said, looking at Pinkie's hooves with indifference. Twilight hadn't been affected by anything at all.
"Applejack, stop playing around and tell me what happened. Pinkie's shoes couldn't have possibly caused this."
"She is immune to the Pink One's corruption. She is the chosen one." Yelled a passerby.
"The demon shoes do not affect her!" Another said.
"Our savior! Take her to the sanctuary." An older stallion yelled.
"Demon shoes? Sanctuary? Pinkie, whats going on?" Twilight asked suspiciously at Pinkie. Twilight was then asked to follow the ponies to this "sanctuary". Twilight decided to just go with it and followed them. Applejack went with them. Pinkie bounced after her, wanting to tag along.
"She is in pursuit of our savior!" One pony yelled.
"We must defend the chosen one at all costs." Yelled another. Just then a group of ponies began to close in on Pinkie, all of them looking slightly upwards, so their eye's didn't meet the socks and sandals. Pinkie decided it was probably a good idea to run, and maybe take off the shoes afterwards. So she ran from the mob of crazy towns-ponies as Twilight sighed and walked on. Just another day.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
It was almost nighttime on arrival at the sanctuary, which turned out to just be town hall. The town hall was mostly intact, 'mostly' being the key word. There were still a few collapsed columns and a good portion of the roof was gone. Inside were a group of ponies talking amongst themselves. Most looked like scientists, a couple were fire-ponies and one looked like a regular pony, except for the eyes.
"Bringers of the prophesy, it is our humble honor to bring you the chosen one; the pony to deliver us from this pain and suffering. Twilight Sparkle." One of the ponies escorting her said. Twilight blushed a little.
"Hey Twilight."
"Hey Blazer."
"Twilight Sparkle, come, take a seat. There is much to discuss." The pony with the strange eyes said.
Twilight sat down, expecting a long story.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
"So, Pinkie Pie has released an evil spirit by wearing socks and sandals, and you need me to destroy them; all based on a prophesy you think is real?" Twilight asked with a skeptical look on her face.
"Well, you are the only one who doesn't succumb to their powers." Flaming Hooves pointed out. Smarty Pants was looking at Twilight sympathetically. After all, they both were ponies of science and reason.
"Well, that's hardly proof. I would like to help, but this prophesy of your's is a bit far fetched for me."
"C'mon Twilight, at least let us test it out." Blazer stated.
"How would we even do that? We already know I'm not affected."
"We could do a simple immunity test." Smarty Pants offered hesitantly. "Immunity is a trait formulated in your blood stream. A sample of your blood in another non-immune pony could work as a test. However, it's dangerous, and I've never had experience with immunity to fashion."
"Well, it's better than nothing. But wait. Who's gonna be our test subject?" Blazer asked. Everypony looked around the room. Nopony was too anxious to do blood tests of any kind, not to mention test it's actual immunity. For a few moments it seemed no one would volunteer.
"I'll do it." Said a voice from the other side of the room. Walking through the open door, covered in soda and overall looking like a total mess, was Rarity.
"Rarity, Ah thought you were catatonic." Applejack said surprised.
"I was. The hideous nature of Pinkie's socks and sandals caused my fashionista brain to overload. I'm okay now, and I'm willing to be your test subject if I must." Rarity said proudly.
"Rarity, no. Ya don't have ta do it." Applejack warned Rarity with a worried expression. Twilight rolled her eyes.
"But I do, dear Applejack. My friends need me. Fashion needs me. Equestria needs me. Doctors, I am ready whenever you are."
"Okay then, but just know that if you go comatose on us again, you may not come out of it." Smarty Pants warned. "Are you ready for that?"
Rarity made an audible gulp. "Yes. I will do it."
"Then come with us."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
The scientists took everyone to the basement level of town hall, where they set up a sanitary room with a large mirror on one wall. After asking Rarity one last time if she wanted to reconsider, Rarity rejected the notion. Smarty Pants brought a needle out of a cabinet and got a sample of Twilight's blood. After injecting the blood back into Rarity, the group of ponies stood looking through the window as Rarity stepped into the room. After waiting a few minutes, two ponies in radiation suits entered and put a large, vacuum-sealed black case on a table that sat in the middle of the room. The ponies opened the box as a white mist poured out of the opening. Averting their gazes the ponies pulled out a piece of paper. On the paper was a detailed drawing of the socks and sandals. In earlier tests, some ponies went insane after seeing just the piece of paper.
"Rarity, you can turn around now." Flaming Hooves instructed. Rarity turned slowly to the piece of paper. She continued to look at it and didn't take her eyes off it.
"Oh no, she's frozen again. Hurry, get her outta there!" Smarty Pants ordered.
"Wait!" Rarity yelled. "I'm fine... I'm fine!" Rarity said, a smile forming on her face. The ponies on the other side of the window were cheering and hugging. Brohoofs for everyone!
"We know what we have to do now." Flaming Hooves said, his voice rustling his glorious mustache.
"We gotta go kick Babajambajuice's ass." Blazer said enthusiastically.
"Babalabalu." Crystal Ball corrected.
"Whatever."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
"Okay, now that we're out here, what exactly am I supposed to do even if this 'Babalabalu' does show up?" Twilight asked.
"Babalabalu will not show his true form at first. You must lure the socks and sandals to you. You must find your pink friend who has triggered Babalabalu's return, and destroy the objects he had possessed." Crystal Ball answered.
Twilight decided she was done with adventures for the day. "Everypony close your eyes. I'll bring Pinkie here."
The other ponies nodded and did so.
"Hey everypony, there's a party over here!" Twilight yelled. The ponies felt a quick blow of the wind and opened their eyes to see Pinkie standing in front of them.
"Did somepony say party?" An excited Pinkie asked.
"Okay, what do I do now?" Twilight asked plainly.
"I will summon the demon's true spirit. To do so, I must use the dialect of the first ponies." Crystal Ball said, preparing to release the true form of Babalabalu.
"Babalabalu, get your bitch-ass out here and face our hero like a stallion. Unless you afraid to? You afraid of a little unicorn, Babalabalu? The prophesy told me you was a bad mothabucka, but I can see that's no longer the case. You aint' even worth fightin', you sorry excuse for an evil overlord! Bitch-ass, pussy-ass, uhh... ass."
"NO!!!" Yelled a voice that seemed to be echoing through the town square. " I WILL NOT BE TALKED DOWN BY A MERE PONY LIKE YOU! NOTHING WILL STOP ME, NOT EVEN YOU, TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" The voice was almost making her deaf.
Pinkie lost control of her legs, and stepped back a few steps. The ground rumbled intensely. Out of the socks and sandals, a dark red cloud of energy rose into the air, covering half the town in darkness. The red cloud began to form a huge figure. It looked kinda like a face, with all the facial features, but it was definitely different. His face was broad and kinda flabby. His ears were on the side of his head, instead of on top. A drastically exaggerated comb-over sat atop his head.
"Babalabalu, you will be destroyed. This time for good, and you will no longer reign terror on the ponies of this world!" Crystal Ball yelled.
"SO, THE PROPHESY HAS BEEN READ, AND IT SEEMS YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR CHAMPION. NO MATTER, MY POWER EASILY TRUMPS HERS! SPEAKING OF WHICH, BABALABALU WAS MY EXILE NAME. MY SLAVES WILL REFER TO ME BY MY REAL NAME. DONALD TRUMP, THE MIGHTY DESTROYER OF WORLDS! IN THE END, YOU WILL ALL BECOME MY SERVANTS. I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"No! You won't. We won't let you." Everyone looked to a pony on the left side of town square. It was Braveheart, and standing next to him was Donkey Kong. It seemed the ponies and animals had made peace after both sides had been hit by the sonic rain-nuke.
"PUNY PONY! YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME? SO BE IT. PEW PEW PEW!" The demon Trump said before firing a volley of lasers at Braveheart. Braveheart closed his eyes in preparation for the inevitable, but the inevitable didn't come. Braveheart opened his eyes, to find he was laser-free. Looking on the ground next to him, Donkey Kong hadn't appeared so lucky. Donkey Kong had dived in front of the lasers before impact, sparing the pony that spared him.
Braveheart dropped to the side of Donkey Kong, who lied there, ready for his fate.
"Hey, c'mon, stay with me. You're gonna be fine. Just hold still an..." He was cut off by a hand covering his mouth. Donkey Kong looked up and swallowed. It looked like he was trying to form words, but was having trouble.
"Kick this... motherbucker's... ass for me... please. And... and tell my... stuffed... banana plushie... I love... it."
Braveheart couldn't hold back any tears. "Okay. I will buddy. I will."
The courageous leader of the animals smiled and closed his eyes. Braveheart put his ear to the gorilla's chest. It was silent. Knowing what to do, he looked up to the giant head of Donald Trump, who was simply watching the scene in amusement. Braveheart steadily got to his feet, and grabbed his spear off the ground. Donald Trump was surprised as the pony actually got into a fighting stance.
"YOU WANT TO FIGHT ME? ALL ON YOUR OWN?" The demon laughed maniacally.
"No, not exactly." Braveheart said. A sound, or rather, a whole bunch of sounds began to close in on the town square until it was at a deafening volume. Dozens if not hundreds of pony militia soldiers and animals began to pour into the square. Above them, pegasi and birds of all kinds were flying together in formation. Even the demon Donald didn't see this coming.
"Attack!" yelled Braveheart. The hundreds of ponies and animals began closing the distance on Donald Trump's floating head. Although they couldn't deal actual damage to the evil spirit, they provided a fantastic distraction.
"Twilight, while he's distracted, do the spell!" Blazer yelled above the noise of the battle.
"What spell?"
"Twilight Sparkle, you must search your heart for the spell to disperse of the evil Trump." Crystal Ball said.
"What does that even mean?" Twilight yelled.
"Just search your heart like she said, Twi." said Applejack. "We believe in you."
All the ponies in the group nodded at her, even Smarty Pants found herself believing the impossible.
"Okay. I'll do it." Twilight said, walking closer to where Trump's floating head was shooting lasers in all directions.
Search my heart. Search my heart. Oh, what can that mean. Why can't things ever be simpler. Why can't I get a break? Twilight said, eyes widening and a small smile formed on her face. She didn't need to search her heart. Her biggest motivation was clear as day.
A break. All I want is a break. All I want is one day where nothing crazy, or bad, or catastrophic happens. All I want is one day of normality, and dammit, this ancient demon spirit is not going to keep me from that. Twilight thought, becoming angrier with every second. She started to lift off the ground and her eyes began to glow.
I'm sick of disasters, I'm sick of having to stop these disasters, and I'm sick of having to come back the next day to prevent another disaster. The ponies looked up at Twilight, who was now radiating a bright light.
"She's doing it, she's doing it." Flaming Hooves shouted excitedly.
I'm going to have a day without insanity, and if I have to drag this piece of shit to Tartaros to get it, fine.
"Hey, Donald! Face me like a mare." Twilight yelled in a voice very similar to the Royal Canterlot voice used by Luna. The ponies and animals stopped attacking as Donald Trump stopped firing lasers and looked towards Twilight. She was now glowing with a blinding light and had a victorious smirk on her face.
"Tell the demons of Tartaros I said hi." Twilight said, pointing her horn at the beast and casting the spell. A concentrated wave of purple energy overwhelmed the form looming over the town square.
"NOOOOO. YOU HAVE NOT DEFEATED ME, TWILIGHT SPARKLE. THIS IS NOT OVER. I'LL GET YOU MY PRETTY, AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO."
"I'm a dragon!" Spike yelled.
"YOU COULD'VE FOOLED ME, PIPSQUEAK!"
"Shut up and die already." Twilight said impatiently, a beam of energy still coming out of her horn.
"YOU WILL BE THE DEAD ONE, TWILIGHT. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF DONALD JONATHAN TRUMP, BIAAAAAAATCH..." In a matter of seconds, it was over. The demon was defeated, and his spirit was gone with the wind. Twilight landed back down to Earth in a thud. Finally, she could get some peace; they all could. The rest of the ponies and Spike, who had been with them in the square, all lay on the ground. They'd all deserved a breather.
But that still left Pinkie Pie. She looked down at her hooves, now being able to move them freely again. She'd just found out her socks and sandals were actually an ancient demon who wanted to enslave ponies. The socks and sandals were now a pile of ashes. The demon had been slain and there was only one thing Pinkie could think to do now.
"Party time!" She yelled, pulling a party cannon out of nowhere and instantly turning the ruins of Ponyville into a ruins-themed party.
The ponies of Ponyville, as well as the animal army, gathered in the square to party the night away, forgetting that their town had been almost utterly destroyed. The four ponies of the Mane 6 that weren't either missing or in a coma were talking and laughing about this adventure they'd had in a mere 24 hours. It saddened them a little that Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash couldn't make it.
"Hey everypony." A voice called from behind.
"Fluttershy, Rainbow. Where were you two?" Rarity asked.
"I was um, hiding. Under a bridge." Fluttershy muttered. The other ponies figured that was the most they were getting out of her.
"What about you, Rainbow? I thought you were in a coma. An' what's with the wheelchair?" Applejack asked. Rainbow Dash was sitting in a wheelchair, instead of flying like normally.
"Oh, this? Nothin' much. I got out of my coma early, but the doctor at the hospital said that I'm paralyzed." She said. All of her friends embraced her in a hug, knowing that her dreams of being a great athlete were crushed.
"I'm so sorry, Rainbow Dash. If you ever need us, we'll be here for you." Twilight Sparkle said sincerely.
"Bleh. Guys, get off me. Why are you being so sappy. My left ear is paralyzed, not my whole body." Rainbow said, demonstrating her lack of ability to move her ear without a hoof. The rest looked at her confused.
"Then why are you in that wheelchair?" Pinkie asked.
"Because it's fun to roll around in from time to time." Rainbow Dash said, moving her wheelchair back and forth over and over, a large smile forming on her face.
"I don't know why it's so fun, but it is!"
Her friends laughed. Applejack couldn't wait to tell this story to Apple Bloom.
"Wait a minute. Ah haven't seen Apple Bloom since this morning."
"Hm, and I haven't seen Sweetie Belle since she went out to play with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo." Rarity mentioned. Where there was chaos, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were usually at the forefront. This was definitely the forefront, but no CMC in sight.
"Oh, I know where they went." Pinkie chimed in. "When I still had my socks and sandals, the girls ran off. They looked like they were trying to stay away from Ponyville."
"Oh no. They could be anywhere by now." Applejack said, worried. Rarity had the same worries.
The Mane 6 all looked at each other and sighed. They all knew what tomorrow was gonna be, and nopony was excited for it, especially not Twilight.
Tomorrow began the search for the CMC. Celestia help us all.