Seven o’ clock in the morning the day before the summoned monster incident strikes Manehatten.
“Okay guys I’ve brought you out here to set up a small challenge for you to see if you got what it takes to actually hold together in a relationship under massive amounts of stress. Don’t act surprised, but I taught Screwball a neat trick and it wasn’t easy for her to get it right after a dozen or so times. It’ll give the both of you something interesting to do while I’m busy taking care of the brewing situation.” With that Kazooie unveiled Screwball to Philomena and Owlowiscious; they were a bit shocked to see Screwball not as a pony. Though they couldn’t say they hadn’t seen this coming somewhat as Kazooie has been training her in transformation magic and the egg blasting character had strange methods for how to learn to transform into other objects and beings. It was just surprising to see a cross between a phoenix and an owl in the flesh. “You both are going to take care of Screwball for a day or so, you’ll need to learn how to take care of a child together if you continue like you have been. If you need me for anything just follow the blood and or explosions, I’m also probably the only sociopathic heroine in this entire city so I’ll bet you will have no trouble at all tracking me down.”
After Kazooie flew away Owlowiscious and Philomena were left with what was soon termed a Phowlix and the empty nest they had been building sitting on the ground. Screwball was now small, had the grace and beauty of a phoenix and the eyes and wingspan of an owl with a mixture of size from both of them. It was still the same pony on the inside and she still had her beanie on her head magically resized to fit her. She was still; as to be expected of a Kazooie style transformation, a vibrant purple and white color like she was when she was a pony.
Screwball had recently started mimicking Kazooie by using her hat like Kazooie’s backpack, she couldn’t quite copy all of the backpacks exact abilities but she did have a lot of room under her mystical flying hat.
“Not to worry dear girl I’ve taken care of my associate little Peewee many a time…” Owlowiscious started off bravely turning to Philomena puffing out his chest.
“Yes, so you have told me. This is a different situation entirely, I believe Kazooie has left us with a stumper of the possibility of a cross breeding of our species. I’m not going to say I haven’t considered the possibility, but how did she really manage to do this?” As Philomena contemplated this she heard a loud growling sound that was like that of a young dragon or a timber wolf, she immediately turned to Screwball turned bird to see her stomach shifting ever so slightly. “Oh, dear… I guess our first obstacle has come up and Kazooie took her backpack with her. How are we to procure food for her? I’m not exactly willing to steal food or mess with the careful and delicate balance of possibly leaving a family hungry knowing how much she can eat. It would be so much easier if Blueblood were here to steal from, then I wouldn’t mind nearly as much.”
“Yes, but in this situation she left us here in the middle of Manehatten without food, water is simple enough if we can find a water fountain that isn’t loaded with gum or gross substances to drink from. Also the reason why we don’t just immediately go to Kazooie is because she’s running herself headlong into danger knowing that if we follow her we’d fail the exercise she just set us up on. Yes, she’s quite the trickster if I do say so.” Owlowiscious came to a rather disturbing conclusion in the next few moments. “By the way, what exactly do Phowlix’s eat?”
“Phowlix… ah, very cute my fine feathered cuddle toy. This is another problem she left for us to comprehend… Owl’s and Phoenix’s have mildly differing appetites. We only need one thing we both agree on in the edible department and then we need to determine how we could possibly find it in this city where some kinds of foods are to put it bluntly, scarcer. If anything we should make sure it’s also safe for a pony to eat, I’ve seen Kazooie eat things that she probably shouldn’t even while she’s being a pony.” Philomena put her right wing around Owlowiscious who hooted a cheery laugh.
That question was easy enough to answer for the owl, but he also realized the other side of why Kazooie did this to them. He was pretty sure his partner in this exercise had already figured it out, survival of themselves and a theoretical child in a hostile environment or a worst case scenario as if it were. Even then, he was assured that Kazooie left something to Screwball just in case of an emergency and they had to do a good enough job to not require whatever the ‘just in case’ entails being pulled from her hat.
They were well acquainted in how each other works personally and honestly had a good friendship that was inching close to love if all the hugs and snuggles said anything. Now they had to rely on their own wits, without the near endless food supply perfectly preserved by Kazooie’s backpack. In fact the magic of the backpack was quite genius on many levels, with the exception that you couldn’t stop a live being from aging while inside it otherwise you could spend an eternity inside it. Kazooie was already functionally immortal both ways until she ran out of all those extra lives of hers. No wonder the backpack wearer left them without breakfast.
“I believe we may have another problem on hand…” Owlowiscious stated as he watched Screwball trying to fly but jumping into the air and flapping her wings wildly.
“Agreed, Kazooie didn’t teach her how to fly… given that she is normally a pony of ground nature Screwball doesn’t know how to fly, at least without her propeller hat it would seem. Should we give her some lessons?” Philomena watched with mild attention as Screwball closed her eyes and scrunched up her face causing the propeller to spin on her hat and she floated into the air till she dropped to the ground again when it stopped.
“Indubitably… however I will not hold to the barbaric act of shoving our young out of a nest till they learn to fly right or flutter enough to not hit the ground. Of further note I hope you agree that we never do this anywhere near the Ever Free Forest, it’s not a pleasant experience at all.” Owlowiscious held a wing up to the underside of his beak as he was contemplating something. Seeing that Philomena giving him a questioning look he decided to extrapolate just why he wanted her to agree to that. “Well if I remember right it isn’t the fall that kills when dropping from great distances…”
“It is what you fall upon… yes that could get rather messy I bet, did that happen to you dear Wis?” As Philomena gasped that out she contemplated all the nasty things she read about in that forest, quite an interesting place for ponies to set habitations up next to and everything. Celestia didn’t bother telling her ponies not to set up there; in fact the sun goddess encouraged it. It was probably nostalgia for her old home that made her send ponies that way.
“My mother wasn’t foolish enough to try that and I believe I get a lot of my intellect from her. As such instead of pushing me from the nest she encouraged me to figure out how to hover above it when she thought I was ready to learn. Slow steady examples and corrections till I could perfect a hover, then the maneuvering came shortly afterwards. What was it like for you miss Philly, if I may be so bold?” Bowing to Philomena Owlowiscious kept a composure and grace about him that had Philomena giggling; his manly voice rather offset his grace and appearance.
“My parents taught me to fly by teaching me to breathe fire first, aim straight down and lift off like a firework going to the sky to explode in a brilliant flower upon a night sky. It was a rather embarrassing time for me. I eventually learned how to get into the air the right way and to stop using my breathe to launch me into the air. Ah to be so young and adorable again, funny that you never ask me about my age Wis.” Philomena quirked an eye at Owlowiscious and turned to Screwball and pulled her towards herself in a hug. “Don’t think we’ve forgotten about you Screwball, we’re just working out the details of this venture.”
“My yes Screwball, oh and Philomena… a gentle owl should never ask a lady Phoenix about their weight or age unless they want to be beaten within an inch of their own life. Either that or promptly set on fire and blinded for a while if not permanently.” Say what you will, Owlowiscious knew better then to walk either of those minefields around Philomena.
“Quite, we have a nest… we should set it up in a tree out of the way of predators or playfully rough ponies. Screwball if you’ll get inside the nest we should be strong enough with our combined strength to lift you to a location where we will set up a base of operations.” Philomena watched as Screwball waddled like a penguin and slowly wrestled her way into the center of the rather well built nest but still incomplete nest.
Following Screwballs internment in their cooperatively built nest, both Owlowiscious and Philomena took a side in their talons and begun to flap their wings. It was a little awkward at first, but they managed to figure out each other’s natural flight strength quickly enough. Although she is a lithe beauty of a phoenix, Philomena was strong and was overcompensating on her end of the nest. In an opposite manner Owlowiscious was a bit wider and less physically inclined, since he was more suited in the pursuit of knowledge and was trying to slowly; if accurately, gauge the lift on his side of the nest.
The end result was their swirly eyed charge almost falling from the nest. Philomena quickly underpowered her wing flaps, while Owlowiscious quickened his own and again they became unbalanced. After a few seconds they were both lifting the nest at an even level and were guiding it by Philomena’s choice of placement as she was the one with an eye for detail while it was bright outside and saw a good place to set it down.
Finally having managed to get the construct in the tree they both sighed until they heard the loud rumbling of three stomachs this time. It sounded like an empty hydra at an all you can eat buffet. This gave Philomena a great idea, but before she could say anything Owlowiscious spoke up before her.
“That brings up another question you who set my heart ablaze… which of us shall hunt for food? One of us has to stay with our young charge while the other goes to find food. It would be irresponsible to leave someone with so many chaotic powers alone to her own devices, especially when she has all of Discords powers at her beck and call.” It was then that Owlowiscious noted a smile on his companion’s face that he decided to stay quiet.
“I’ll get the food; you’ll start working on teaching Screwball to fly without the use of her hat. I was always one for thinking outside the box and I have an idea of how to appropriate us a feast without causing much harm or damage. Unfortunately I may be a bit pockmarked with injury upon my return, but worry not for I am a phoenix and I will always rise again till my time has come to burn out like the many stars in the skies.” With that Philomena alighted herself to sky and flew off with a graceful sweep past Owlowiscious tickling his cheeks with the tips of her wings as she did. Owlowiscious blushed and turned to Screwball who was giving him a small smile and giggling.
It had taken some time for Philomena to find a jar, a beehive, the right kind of restaurant and a pony that could understand wing sign language or at the very least allowed her to write a message. She was just in luck to find a bright orange pegasus with a green mane that ran a restaurant who could understand what she wanted with her naturally collected ingredients and a few gestures. Philomena also wrote a few things down as well as she could with a pencil and showed it to the winged pony who readily nodded with a smile, she had something new to add to the menu and this bird had earned herself a meal big enough for three.
The pony always wanted to try something new, of course she did make mention to the phoenix to learn to write better as her chicken scratch left something to be desired. Philomena had the decency to blush and was soon given a Neighpon style to-go box and the chef even mixed the new food with noodles, Sweet Sunflower Seed Lo Mein with a good helping of vegetables was something to behold.
Philomena thanked the pony heartily having made a new friend and set off into the sky back to the nest where she arrive to see Screwball getting a few inches of the nest until Owlowiscious stopped her and started to correct her form and then she got a few inches higher than last time. Philomena gave a sharp whistle attracting both their attentions as she set the box full of food down and gingerly worked to get it open with her talons. She wasn’t going to lie if she was asked how many hoops she had to jump through to get all the random stuff she needed to get this one meal. It reminded her of Kazooie when she mentioned that collecting things was her biggest passtime and even told a few stories of the stuff she went through to get those jiggy things.
Philomena finally managed to open the box and the smell attracted Screwballs attention, the Phowlix immediately rushed over to getting a beak full of sweet seeds, noodles and vegetables.
“Oh my, this food looks wonderful, but how did you ever manage it?” Owlowiscious stated as he got his beak into it and tasted a wondrous concoction of Neighpon take out; it was kind of like the old days of eating regurgitated worms only more fancy. Twilight ate a lot of takeout and he always had access to her refrigerator… not that she knew he was eating her food and it tended to get blamed on Spike anyway. Owlowiscious had to admit that when it came to being mischievous it was easy to poke at the dragon’s buttons and one of the reasons he likes Philomena was because she was a prankster of the highest order at times. Taking note of his companion’s stature he finally deduced she had been through a lot for having only been gone for at least an hour. “And what happened to you? You look positively wrung out.”
“Well it all started when I had the idea to get sunflower seeds… following that I had thought about how some honey would be nice to go with it, things kind of spiraled out of control from there. I was attacked by a stray dog picking the sunflowers, stung by a few bees getting the honey and it took a while to communicate what I want to a pony because I really need to work on my talon writing. All in all not bad turnout as long as I can get some of that, I helped cook it after all and I’m not slouch when it comes to helping in the Canterlot kitchens when Celestia hungers for cake. So how’d the flying lessons go?” With that question asked Philomena drove her beak into the concoction she helped make, it was lightly sweetened, a bit crunchy to be sure and the noodles gave it a great texture with the carrots and broccoli added in.
“My Philly, it sounds like you’ve had quite the rough hour. I was hit by a flying discus and got landed on by Screwball when she fell out of the nest, not exactly as troubling as all that you must have gone through finding a container for the honey glaze.” Owlowiscious hopped over to Philomena and looked over her ruffled feathers with a gentle wing. Philomena swallowed what was in her beak and looked to Owlowiscious with a smile.
“I’m fine Wis, nothing a little preening and a bird bath couldn’t cure.” With that they all continued to eat until not much was left and they were quite stuffed. Philomena wouldn’t eat food this fancy for a while and in fact swore to get the weight of it off her stomach; Screwball still had the appetite of a chaos energy formed pony and had to have packed all the food into a quantum pocket somewhere around her stomach to have eaten twice her own body weight.
“Now what is on the menu as we have successfully prevented hunger? I assume continued flight lessons or maybe even… fire breathing?” If there was one thing Owlowiscious had to fear and was hesitant on talking about, it was teaching Screwball to breathe fire. Of course Screwball would either have the magical potential or the gland for fire breathing and he knew Kazooie wouldn’t leave them with a halfway done transformation job. Kazooie had mentioned that when she transforms she magically acquires a few abilities from her transformations, he was quite amused with the washing machine anecdote she used.
“True that is a possibility; I guess we have to test her fire reflex. Not all phoenixes can breathe fire; some can only glow with the brightness of the sun and others can generate only heat. If you’re a phoenix that can do all three you’re considered gifted and I am as such. I suggest we move over to the pavement around the ball court there in the distance to test this theory and you could possibly give her a few pointers on the way over.” It was easier said than done, much to Philomena’s relief there weren’t any stray dogs in the area and they were standing together in a ball court with her looking over Screwballs body making the transformed pony a tad uncomfortable.
After a few moments of overlooking Screwball with her wing, Philomena finally smiled prodded Screwball in her left wing pit causing her to reflexively launch a blast of flame out of her beak.
“How wondrous, now how do we teach her to control it?” As Owlowiscious said this he saw a frightened look on both his compatriots faces. “What?”
“Um… you seem to have caught on fire Wis.” Much to heeding her pointed bluntness in this situation and pointing wing, Philomena watched as Owlowiscious calmly looked up at his slowly burning eyebrows.
“Indeed I have Philly…” It was surprising that the owl just stood there as his eyebrows flickered like a lit match. “I must admit I did see something like this coming, however I never planned for a method to deal with it. It sure does hurt quite frightfully so, I would suggest we quickly find a safe method to extinguish me.”
Screwball frowned at the sudden anguish on the owls face and scrunched up her eyes and clenched her beak. A soft grey to muddy brown glow permeated her body that went unnoticed to both Philomena and Owlowiscious until a small pink cloud popped into existence above them.
“What the…” It was all the two could get out, they had seen pink clouds before and they thought they knew what the end result would be. They were around back when Discord created the cotton candy chocolate raining clouds and were expecting no different, but were glad that Screwball was willing to help the situation to the best of her ability using her chaos magic. What they weren’t expecting was to be covered in a soft really cold substance almost immediately upon the onset of the small pink cloud erupting it’s payload onto them.
“Hmmm… I must say, Screwball has excellent taste in ice cream and has doused her flames. Good show dear girl.” After he expressed his thanks to Screwball with a sticky wet hug, he looked at his eyebrows having burnt almost all the way off. One must always be patient with a child and on this occasion Owlowiscious thought he did swimmingly. “My poor eyebrows though and I think I may have also incurred some first degree burns.”
Screwball frowned; she didn’t like the fact that she hurt one of her friends… but what could she do? Wait a minute… that spell that Kazooie had used on her, of course! Now how did it feel to have it cast on her and how did Kazooie do it again? Closing her eyes she started to glow white and felt the name of the spell erupt in her mind, it was called Cura and she cast it upon both the birds with her. She owed Philomena for being so nice to go through all that trouble to get really good food. A shower of green sparkles erupted into life around Philomena and Owlowiscious who squawked a bit at the odd feeling that was moderately refreshing and their bodies were rejuvenated. Any injuries that had sustained slowly ebbed away gently; they were still covered in strawberry ice cream though.
“It seems our companion has been learning more than transformation or how to control her chaos magic. I must admit I’ve never felt magic quite like that before.” Philomena flashed with a large amount of heat evaporating the ice cream off of her body, before giving a warm heartfelt hug to Screwball and to help clean their charge of the sticky mess Owlowiscious got all over her.
Soon Owlowiscious joined in the hug evaporating the sticky mess off of him as well. The heat was a little hard to bear and Philomena soon withdrew it, but she didn’t stop hugging them after accepting the owl into the fold of her left wing.
They stayed like that for a few moments with their eyes closed making Screwball feel like she had a real family. She was positively giddy about having these two as her parents for the day and was glad Kazooie suggested she figure out what having a real childhood was like as she had kind of missed hers.
It was a touching scene. That was until Screwballs personal pet chaos cloud; whose name was Mr. Cold Spot, decided to drop a payload of ‘Rocky Road’ ice cream on them.