//------------------------------//
// Episode 18: "Diary of a Dictator" 
// Story: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Season 13 
// by twilightsparkle3562 
//------------------------------//

…

…

As she lowered the sun and raised the moon over Equestria, Twilight Sparkle reflected on her recent confrontation with the Canterlot Chronicle, and the next step in the fight against Grogar and the Legion of Doom. With her wings stretched out, Twilight finished her duties and retreated into her bedroom where Spike was sitting on her bed. "Okay, that should do it," she sighed. "Another day done and another confrontation over."

"At least we took care of it before it became a distraction," Spike replied as Twilight removed her large crown. "Killing Hopper may not have been the best move, but he did do the unthinkable. And it's not like we can rewind time to undo his death. We both know how much of a mess time travel is."

Twilight remarked with a hint of fear in her voice. "I know. I had to do something though, I couldn't just let him walk away after he threatened to pull my…"

"-I-I know what he threatened to do," Spike stammered as he cut off the sentence. "I mean, he was dangerous, right?"

"Yeah," Twilight sighed as she climbed into her bed. "You don't have to tell me twice. I might issue a formal statement of regret or something tomorrow, not that it'll help. Anyways, have Discord and Vorak sent any more intelligence regarding Grogar's next move? They've been unusually silent."

The young dragon merely shrugged his shoulders as he flew off his big sister's bed.

"I take that they didn't," Twilight guessed. "Well, knowing Discord, he probably wants to do things his way. Oh well, I will worry about it in the morning. Good night, Spike."

Pulling the covers over her, Twilight attempted to fall asleep after a long and grueling day.

…

At the same time, Celestia was down in the kitchen, producing a cup of tea with her mind focused solely on Twilight and her latest mental health scare. She was soon approached by Luna as she also came into the kitchen, preparing to make herself a cup of coffee.

"Luna, how many times must I tell you that coffee is not good for you at night?" Celestia asked, her eyes focused on her tea.

"It keeps me alert, sister," Luna sighed as she got to work on her coffee. "You know that very well. I mean, given the state of our kingdom at war you've got to be prepared for anything."

"But sleep is important too, Luna." Celestia protested.

Luna said nothing and as the two sisters made their favorite drinks, she couldn't help but wonder about another pressing issue. "Not to change the subject, Celestia," She remarked, turning to face her sister. "But has it ever occurred to you that there is a truth about Grogar we don't know about?"

With her tea in her aura, Celestia leaned back against the kitchen and stood on her hind legs, stretching out her forelegs.

"It's just that, when Mother and Father banished him to the moon," continued Luna. "It seemed like the rest of Equestria didn't get a chance to know the whole truth about him. In a way, Grogar was kind of like me. There must've been a reason for him to suffer that fate. You only did it to me when I became Nightmare Moon. Mother and Father must've been in a similar situation with Grogar, no?"

This made Celestia look wide eyed in surprise at her sister's confession. Putting the cup of tea back on the counter, she absorbed what her sister just said. "How could you say that, Luna?" She asked in a shocked voice. "What makes you think you can relate to Grogar? He's a monster…you are not."

"Yes, but there has to be a reason why he became who he is," Luna declared. "No one just wakes up one day and decides they'll be evil. I've been in the library for several days and nights trying to figure out more about Grogar. Where did he come from? What was his background? Why did he become who he is? All this time and we still don't know everything about him or what history he had with our parents."

Using her magic, Luna produced a series of books all about Grogar.

"You did ask Twilight if you could borrow those books, didn't you?" Celestia asked, raising an eyebrow. "Tell me the truth."

"I did, but don't you see?" Luna declared. "None of these books hold the truth about Grogar!t None tell how he became the monster he is! What was it that sent him down that dark path of no return?! I know it's not possible for him to be redeemed, but perhaps we could be prepared if one of our own should be showing signs of becoming like him?"

"You know, you can be just as crazed as Twilight can be," Celestia chuckled at her sister. "It's almost amusing."

Suddenly, there was a knocking at the front door, catching the attention of the two alicorn sisters. Leaving the kitchen, they made their way to the front lobby and opened the doors to find an old ewe being held back from entering.

"Stand down," Celestia ordered to Tempest Shadow and the two guards. "What's happening here?"

"This old sheep claims that she knows something about Emperor Grogar," Tempest explained. "She requests an audience with her highness, but she is currently in her chambers and not to be disturbed Those are orders."

Luna looked right at the ewe. It seemed in her mind that she and the rest of Equestria would finally get some answers about Grogar!

…

…

Feeling dismayed that she was about to be denied her audience with Twilight, the old ewe was about to turn around and leave, but Luna stopped her. "Wait!" Luna cried, catching the ewe's attention. "Who are you? Where did you come from? What reason have you for seeking us out?"

Turning around, the ewe looked back to Luna and smiled. "Princess Luna?" She whispered, much to Luna's confusion.

"Um, I am not a princess anymore, fair ewe," Luna explained. "I've retired from the throne along with my sister here. But we can still help with whatever you need."

"Thank you," The ewe declared, looking at Luna with a small smile. "I have come a long way to seek out the ones who are leading this war against Grogar."

Both Luna and Celestia gave each other a confused look, but they weren't going to turn the old ewe away. Tapping into her alicorn powers, Luna could detect that the old ewe had a connection to Grogar…a very personal connection. "Let her pass." Luna commanded and Tempest reluctantly stood down along with the two guards.

"Should Princess Twilight be informed?" Tempest asked.

"No, she is asleep," Celestia answered. "I'm sorry my dear, but anything you have to say you can say to us."

"I'm sorry, Princess Celestia," The ewe protested while shaking her head from side to side. "I must speak to her highness at once. It's urgent! It has to do with Grogar."

"Sister, she seems desperate in her tone of voice," Luna warned, looking over to Celestia. "We should at least…"

Suddenly, Luna noticed something in the old ewe's saddlebag. It was a large red book with gold lettering at the top. "Your book!" She remarked. "The one in your saddlebag. I can't help but notice…"

"That's why I came all this way here from Sheepskin Pass," The ewe replied, taking the book out with her mouth. On the cover were simply the words "My Diary."

Opening the covers, Luna was stunned by what was written inside! "How long have you had this diary?" Luna asked. "It has…"

"Yes," The ewe answered. "Grogar was once one of our own!"

Both alicorn sisters were shocked by what they heard and realized only one thing that needed to be done…they had to bring the ewe to Twilight at once!

…

As she slept in her bedroom, Twilight finally felt a chance to relax and unwind after her long and trying day. She was dreaming about competing on a trivia trot game show all about Equestrian lore and popular books.

But as she continued her dream, Twilight was rudely awakened by the pounding sound on her bedroom door. "What..wha…what is it?" Twilight cried as she fell out of bed and bumping her head on her nightstand, causing her to wake up. "Ow! Who's there?"

"Twilight, are you in there?" She heard Celestia cry out on the other side.

"What is it, Mom?" Twilight groggily asked as she begrudgingly got up from her rude awakening. "Is Shining Armor reading my diary…?"

Walking over to her bedroom door, Twilight answered it and saw Celestia, Luna and a strange ewe on the other side. "Guys," Twilight yawned. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Twilight, I apologize for having to wake you but it's important!" Celestia replied. "This old ewe claims to have information about Grogar."

Taking the book in her aura, Twilight yawned again and tiredly looked through each and every page. Suddenly, her tired eyes widened when she got to a part of the book that had a name written down! Her exhaustion was gone and her princess authority was back! "You have information about Grogar?" She immediately asked. "Come with me to the library, Ms…"

"Maa, call me Maa." The ewe replied.

Having gotten the identity of the visitor, Twilight motioned for Maa to follow her to the library with Celestia and Luna following close behind.

…

…

Making their way into the library, Twilight and Maa made their spot in the library's middle portion. Sitting down under the library's dome, Twilight took the book again and looked through each and every page carefully once more.

"Forgive me for disturbing you, your highness," Maa acknowledged. "But this was the only time I could make it here."

"It's quite alright," Twilight replied as Spike entered the library, having also been awakened by the loud banging. "Normally, I wouldn't accept visitors in the middle of the night, but this is an exception."

"What's going on here?" Spike asked. "Who's the old sheep?"

"Spike, this is Maa," Twilight said to her royal advisor. "She's an ewe and she claims to know something about Grogar."

"I do," Maa replied. "This is a diary, a diary of the one known as Chirin. I should know, as he used to live with us before he lost his way."

Joining Twilight in the center of the library, Spike looked at the book closely.

"Um, can I ask you something, Ms…Maa?" Twilight asked. "If you know who this Chirin is, how are you still alive?"

"What makes you ask me that, Princess Twilight?" Maa remarked. "Chirin had me killed along with the rest of the rest of our flock. It was thanks to a spirit named Gusty that I was brought back to life."

"Gusty?!" Luna gasped as her eyes widened! "As in Gusty the Great?!"

"Yes," Maa answered with a nod. "Gusty brought me back to life to seek out you, Princess Twilight."

"Gusty? How?" Spike wondered. "I mean…didn't she die? I thought she disappeared long ago, not unlike Starswirl and the other pillars, until I read otherwise"

"Gusty was murdered by Chirin shortly before he killed all of us ewes," Maa remarked. "Yet he was not like this to begin with. He was not born the father of monsters."

Turning the pages back to the beginning, Maa directed Twilight, Spike and the two sisters to look at the opening entry to the diary. To get a firsthoof feeling, Twilight activated her alicorn horn to produce a male voice that read the opening paragraph.

"Dear diary, I am Chirin. I have more energy than all the other lambs in the pasture put together. I wear a ringing bell around my neck, and although I like the sound, it is there to help my mother find me if I get lost... or fall if I don't watch where I am going."

"Okay, so it seems like a good start," Spike commented. "Still don't see the picture though. How did this 'Chirin' become Grogar?"

Tapping into her alicorn powers again, Twilight transported herself and the others to an open pasture where several young sheep frolicked around and Twilight then turned her attention to a young sheep with a bell wrapped around his neck.

"Hmm," Spike remarked. "Are you sure that's Grogar? It hardly looks like him."

"It is him," Maa remorsefully answered upon noticing the similar fur color. "Oh, he was so happy to be alive back then."

As they watched the young sheep frolic around, they spotted a white ewe following him around. Seeing the ewe, Maa could feel tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"When we are young, we don't know a lot of things," The male voice continued, reading off the words in the diary. "But the small amount of knowledge we do possess makes us happy. Knowing our home, our friends, how to get places and maybe how to get back. The world is a strange new place; A great puzzle. Sights, sounds and smells are it's pieces. We see things that we know nothing about; Things that surprise us and sometimes sadden us. But as we explore and grow, the time comes when we learn; We learn about the world and we grow older."

"What's he up to?" Spike asked, flying over to the ewe and the young sheep where the ewe was seen scolding the young sheep.

"He always liked to explore the world around him," Maa explained. "Naturally, he would always be berated by his mother for strolling away from the flock. That fell to me often, for I was the one tasked with raising him."

"You must never wander from the flock," Maa's past self sternly warned the sheep. "What if the Wolf King were to find you?"

"The wolf king?!" Celestia asked and Twilight turned to her alicorn magic once more, activating it and instead transporting them all to a barn at night.

Shutting her eyes and turning her head away, Maa couldn't bear herself to watch what was about to happen next. Without warning, a creature of black night descended on the barn and with a loud roar the creature began attacking sheep after sheep and soon, only the white ewe and her young charge stood in the way.

As the wolf charged at the young sheep, the white ewe leaped in front of her charge in a last ditch attempt to protect him. "Chirin! CHIRIN! No!" The ewe shouted!

At the sound of her cries, all Twilight and the others could do was look away in horror. Once the carnage was over, they saw the young lamb mourning loudly over his mother's death. Feeling slightly disturbed, Twilight activated another voice spell on the diary.

"I couldn't understand what my mother had done to deserve dying at the paws of the Wolf King," The voice kept on narrating. "What did any of us sheep do for that matter? But the wolf still came and the sheep still died; Helpless at the fangs of their enemy. Nature had been unfair to me... and to my mother. In one fell swoop, it had robbed me of the world I had known, thrusting me into an uncertain future."

As she watched in disbelief, Luna couldn't help but feel slightly emotional and buried her head in Celestia's shoulder.

Just then, the scene then turned to the young sheep leaving the barn and then the scene turned again to where the young sheep sought out the wolf.

"Didn't he just see that wolf kill his mother?" Spike asked in slight confusion. "Why is he in front of it?"

"He's seeking guidance," Maa sadly answered. "From the creature who killed his mother. He was becoming different. He was becoming a monster. He turned to the only thing he respected, the unknown."

Then they all watched as the scene shifted to the young sheep transforming from a cute and cuddly creature into a creature with big horns and a blue coating.

"One night, they returned," Maa explained as the scene shifted back to the barn. "The Wolf King tried to convince Chirin to attack us, but he refused at first. Then, suddenly, he turned against the Wolf King…and killed him."

Twilight and the others watched as the ram impaled the wolf king with his horns, before turning his attention back to the other ewes in the barn.

"What's he doing now?" Spike asked. "Is this where he…?"

With a loud bellow, the ram charged and used his horns on each and every one of the sheep. Twilight tapped into her powers to activate the voice again.

"I tried to tell the frightened sheep that I had once lived with them in the meadow, but no one believed me," The voice narrated in a furious rage! "The creature they saw before them was not one of their kind. So I was neither wolf or sheep, I was an animal who caused fear and terror. I will never find a home again with the sheep of my youth. And without the Wolf King I have now realized that I have no home at all. The world sees me as a monster, and so it seems I am destined to be alone for the rest of my days."

Feeling disbelieved, Twilight watched as the scene shifted to a snow covered mountain as they saw the young ram make his way up to the mountains. Then she activated the voice once more.

"The snow has now fallen for days without letting up, covering the ground with a smooth, white blanket," The voice narrated. "Whatever I have done on that mountain, whatever happened in that meadow, has since been covered up without a trace to remind those who had witnessed it of what I had done. And later, some claimed to remember me as a lamb while others said I was a spirit from the mountain. But they were too wrapped up with their own lives to worry about it for long."

The scene changed as the voice concluded. "Then one night, during a terrible blizzard, the gentle sound of a bell was heard. But the sheep in the meadow will never see the one called Chirin ever again. Instead, a new creature from these mountains has been born. One that is the monster they chose to see me as. I am the darkness…I am the evil…I AM GROGAR!"

Once the ram made his way up to the top of the mountains, a flash of lightning caused Twilight to break down her spell and find herself and her group back in the library. "Wow!" Spike cried. "So that's why Grogar is what he is, isn't he? All because of him losing his mother."

…

Having just returned from experiencing the diary, Twilight was left to ponder what she and her companions had witnessed.

"So, that's the whole story of the one you now call Grogar," Maa explained, taking the diary back and placing it in her saddlebag. "He is a creature of pure evil. I apologize for the initial misleading. Grogar did not kill me, but I feel as if he did by choosing to dishonor all that I had done for him by siding with the Wolf King. Yet, I still feel as if there is goodness within him, somewhere."

"Goodness?" Luna remarked. "He's worse than any evil we've dealt with before. He has many of them working for us."

"Luna, please!" Celestia cried, silencing her.

"No, it's okay, Celestia," Twilight said to her mother figure, raising a hoof to calm her down. "It's okay."

Then Twilight turned back to Maa. "Grogar is a creature of pure evil, yes. But, maybe he could be redeemed somehow?"

"Twilight, are you mad? Spike burst out! "I don't think that…"

"Not in this life, Spike," Twilight sharply replied. "Not in this life. If he is to be redeemed, we have to destroy him. In the afterlife, perhaps reunited with Maa and the sheep, he might be able to find his way again."

"Twilight, think carefully about this," Celestia warned. "I don't want you making hasty decisions that could come back to bite you like you did with Hopper. Destroying Grogar will not be easy should you choose to go down that route."

"I'm trying to not go that route, Celestia," Twilight replied. "Grogar is really the one called Chirin and the only way his spirit can be freed is if we rid him of this world. I take no pleasure in that fact, but I see no other way. I see no way to save him in this life after all the horrible things he's done. I regret what I did to Hopper when he was no longer a threat, but Grogar has shown to be too dangerous to be kept alive. I mean it."

Maa gratefully nodded her head in Twilight's declaration.

"Maa, is Gusty's spirit still in the spirit world with the other sheep?" Twilight inquired. "Perhaps she might be of assistance?"

"She is in the spirit world, but only if you obtain her spirit and seek her guidance can you free Chirin from his corruption," Maa cautioned. "And it would be in the afterlife. For too long, he has been consumed by evil. Now, he must come back to where he belongs once and for all to face judgement." Just then, they all noticed Maa beginning to slowly disappear in front of them.

"Hold on, where are you going?!" Spike asked.

"I am returning to my fellow ewes in paradise," Maa explained. "Farewell, and thank you."

"Maa, wait!" Twilight cried, but Maa quickly disappeared from view.

"So what do we do now?" Spike asked as Twilight returned to her bed.

"We focus on trying to free the darkness that corrupted Chirin into becoming Grogar," answered Twilight. "And to do that, we need Gusty the Great to destroy him once and for all."

So Twilight turned her attention to seeking Gusty's spirit from the spirit world, for only she could be the key to stopping Grogar and his Legion of Doom forever…

…

…