Nightmare Moon closed the door behind her. It clicked shut. She cast her gaze around her study, carefully checking to see if any changelings or assassins were lying in wait. There were none. She reached out with her magic, searching her study, bedchambers, and bathroom.
She was alone.
She locked the door and slumped.
Between searching out remnant groups of changelings, battling them, searching and failing to find the Queen, and remembering her admission to Twilight, she felt drained. Exhausted. Battle was always draining, and with the memory of what she had told Twilight everpresent in the back of her mind, it was even worse.
And so for all her victories, for her triumph over Sister, she felt defeated. She sat down on her haunches against the door and leaned her head back. She closed her eyes.
And rather than remembering the changelings, she saw Twilight's frantic expression, heard the filly's confusion and disbelief, 'What?'
She doubted herself. 'I should have waited until after the changelings had been dealt with. And perhaps longer still, so that you would have recovered from—' she remembered seeing Twilight and Cadance run into the room to stop the wedding. She remembered the changelings that had pinned Twilight to the ground. She remembered having to slay the changeling that had taken Twilight's form. She remembered seeing Twilight on the ground as the Queen approached her.
She opened her eyes tiredly, stood back up, and then walked through her bedchambers and stepped out onto her balcony. The night sky was marred by the magic of the Captain's shield, though since the color was not dissimilar from Twilight's aura, it did not truly ruin the sky. Still, it served as a reminder of her own failures to prevent it from being necessary in the first place. She stopped at the railing and teleported her armor into the bathroom, then sat down and draped her legs over the railing.
She turned her gaze from the sky and looked to the garden. Discord was still imprisoned, fortunately, though the garden itself was less vibrant for the season. She turned her gaze to Ponyville in the distance. Considered the village for a moment, then turned her head towards Twilight's tower. 'Are you there, or are you elsewhere?' she wondered.
But regardless of wherever Twilight was, she was assured, 'You are safe,' because neither the guards nor Twilight's friends had not rushed to tell her something had happened.
'We shall talk again soon. You will want to.' And she was not looking forward to that conversation. She had laid herself bare before Twilight; what was the filly to say? Disappointment settled into her core. Regardless of Cadance's words of advice, regardless of her own desires, she was certain it wouldn't be. Twilight did not share her feelings, and Twilight was still young. Ultimately, Twilight had known her Sister longer than her; why then could she possibly hope that Twilight would even consider courting her?
It was a ridiculous fantasy, one she should not have had. It hurt.
She arose and walked back inside, closing the door to the balcony behind her and locking it. The short journey to the bathroom was quiet, save for the click of her hooves on the floor, and for it, she found herself burdened down with disappointment and the feeling of defeat.
She closed the door to the bathroom and idly looked around while she started a bath for herself. She stood in front of the mirror and looked at the few fresh burns dotting her body. They still tingled from the medicine the medics had used. She drew in a deep breath and met her reflection's gaze.
She did not look like a queen.
She did not feel like a queen.
She did not look like a victor.
She did not feel like a victor.
She looked tired and disappointed. She felt both. There was no spark of anything in her eyes, neither did they catch the glow of the magelight. They were dull and lackluster; they did not pierce.
The mare in the mirror was simply unhappy and lost.
Just like always.
And she felt bitter for it.
'I defeated Sister and banished her as she banished me. I took Equestria as my own. And for what? They still hate me and would conspire against me given the chance. And nothing will ever change that!' Energy seeped into her eyes and she scowled.
'And I cannot have Twilight.' The scowl faded away. Her eyes grew dull and unfocused.
She turned away from the mirror and regarded the wall, though ignored it in favor of contemplation.
'We are friends.'
'You gave me a chance to be your friend.'
'Even if nothing more comes than that, I am grateful that you gave me that chance.'
'Regardless, I will teach you.'
'You will become what you are meant to be. You will fulfill your destiny.'
'We will raise the moon together; I will ascend you.'
She turned off the water and turned to face the bathtub.
'Perhaps you will still be the death of me.'
She walked over to the bathtub, then climbed in. Her still-healing, raw skin burned when the hot water touched it; her muscles tense for a moment as she sank into the water so that it was over her withers. The pain faded and subsided. She closed her eyes and relaxed, letting the warmth soak into her coat and body to wash away the chill of the night, to wash away the night's conflict, and to wash away her disappointment and worry.
She found the water's warm, enveloping weight comforting, though it offered none of the companionship that Twilight did: the water did not care, as the night did not care, unlike Twilight, who made the choice to be her friend. And that choice mattered. She opened her eyes and bowed her head, sighing.
'This was not what I envisioned six months ago.'
'This was not what I envisioned a thousand years ago.'
But how could she have? So enraged by what her sister had done, how could she have imagined that ruling Equestria would be so unfulfilling? How could she have imagined that she would ever have a friend? That she would want more than a friend when she had never considered that before?
She was free of Sister's lies and deceit and manipulation but ponies still hated her and her night.
'Was this your plan all along, Tia?' she wondered. 'Mock me and make me hate ruling so much that I come crawling back to you, begging for forgiveness and mercy?'
She scowled and seethed.
'It will not work!'
Yet she still could not understand, 'Twilight and Cadance do not hate me and they should hate me the most of anypony for having banished you.'
The world, it seemed, made so little sense. Was it determined to undermind her? To mock her and laugh at how she couldn't understand any of it? It seemed so.
Discord would love it.
She hated it.
She cast aside her thoughts, closed her eyes, and shoved her head under the water. Let the warmth wash over her and seep into her skin, then pulled her head back above the water. She opened her eyes a few seconds later and set about washing the grime of battle from her coat. She closed her eyes again and exhaled as the scent of lavender grew stronger.
When she had finished cleaning herself, she climbed out of the bath and stood facing the mirror. The water's warmth was whisked away by the chilly air, even as she used her magic to dry and warm her body. Despite the bath, the mare in the mirror was still unhappy, her eyes, still weary and disappointed. Once dried, she walked back out into her bedchambers and turned towards the balcony, only to stop at the end of the bed.
She turned to face the bed and considered the night before, and it left her longing for Twilight's company again.
She forced herself to look away. Her hooves carried her to the balcony door. She opened it with her magic and walked back to the railing to sit again.
Alone.
As she had, it seemed, always been.
And again, she found herself watching Twilight's tower, but this time, there was activity. The door was opened and Twilight's friends passed by the guards to walk inside, and then the door closed. For some time, she simply sat there, pondering whether all seven of them were there or not. And then came Cadance and the Captain, followed by Twilight's parents who were accompanied by an escort of two guards, and she felt anxiety strangle her heart.
'Tis the night after Hearth's Warming,' she remembered with a grimace. 'You are all gathered there.' Yes, that was likely the case. For what other reason could they have been gathered than to celebrate and enjoy each other's companionship?
She turned her gaze away from Twilight's tower; she would not intrude on their time together.
But she still remembered Twilight's invitations to join her and her friends—always a hopeful invitation. And her answer had always been, 'Another time, perhaps.'
Well, it was another time.
'This—' she gradually stood up, stifling a groan in the process, '—is a mistake.'
She reluctantly spread her wings out, though kept them low. 'You should have time alone with your friends and family after what I told you. I do not want you to feel pressured... I do not want to pressure you.'
With even more anxiety, she lifted her wings higher. 'I should not go. It is a mistake. Nopony will be happy. This will end poorly.'
She gave a half-hearted flap of her wings that took her nowhere and bowed her head. 'Perhaps you would not mind my company.' But she still doubted it. 'It would only impose. Perhaps you would not send me away, but is that of your own choice or simply because you would be uncomfortable sending me away?'
She lifted her head back up and recomposed herself, then teleported to the door. The four guards startled; she glanced at them, but nopony said a word. She turned her attention back to the door—beyond it, she thought she heard the laugh of Pinkie Pie—and lifted her hoof to knock.
And surely they were expecting nopony else, least of all her.
And so it was several seconds before the door glowed with Twilight's aura and opened; the filly stood in the doorway. She looked down at Twilight, and for a moment, Twilight's smile flickered. Everypony else—they were all sitting in a circle about the middle of the library—were already looking towards the door out of curiosity, and seeing her, they stared at her. She looked at them, each one in passing, meeting their bewildered gazes, and then returning to look at Twilight. The filly gradually turned her head back to look at everypony, then stepped off to the left—an unspoken invitation to come inside.
Yet was it truly an invitation Twilight wanted to give her? She shifted her weight on her hooves and her wings twitched at her sides. "I... hope I am not intruding."
"It's fine. You're um, welcome to join us," Twilight replied softly.
'No, I am not. I should not be here.' But what else was she to do? Where else was she to go? Simply wait in her chambers for the night to end, brooding in isolation as she had for so long?
It was selfish: she carefully stepped inside and looked around. A few presents were piled together, and against the wall on her right were Twilight's friends' saddlebags. A table was set out against the wall, far away from any books, upon which food and drink were set out. The door closed behind her, and Twilight walked back over to sit down beside Fluttershy. Twilight's friends' gazes lingered, though gradually broke away from her to return to each other; Cadance did not mind, but the Captain stared at her with bewilderment and exhaustion, as if he thought he was hallucinating. Twilight's parents were both tensed, watching her with unease as if she might smite them or their colt or filly. She breathed in and gradually walked over towards the group.
When she was close enough, Cadance looked at her with a fond smile and said, "Happy Hearth's Warming."
'It does not feel that way.' It was frivolous and pointless; she nodded once and said, "To you as well." 'I should not be here.' After looking over the group, she managed to settle on sitting in the gap between Cadance and Twilight—not too close to either one of them,and neither of them seemed to mind. So when she sat down, she watched Twilight; the filly was mostly oblivious to it, instead conversing with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, who in turn spoke with Applejack and Rarity and so on.
And after the initial tension faded, they grew lively again, almost as if she weren't there—and perhaps to them, she was not, as she sat in silence, hardly paying attention to what was said. She was simply there. An outsider, but there with them, as Twilight had offered. 'You are calm. You are not panicking that I am here. You have recovered from what I have told you?'
Yes, that seemed to be the case—or if Twilight was nervous, she did not see it. Or perhaps she was lying to herself and did not want to see it. She looked away from Twilight and turned to study Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Neither bore any scars from their battle with the changelings.
Unlike her.
She tilted her head and looked down at her chest, taking in the patches of missing fur. She grimaced and lifted her head back up. 'That I am here like this. That they can see me like this,' she considered but did not know what to think of it.
They would not turn on her, thinking that it was a sign of weakness. That much she knew.
Pinkie Pie laughed, breaking her thoughts. She saw Rarity roll her eyes but had not paid attention to know what had been said.
And from the companionship they shared as she watched them, she felt it strike at her heart as if it were a dagger. 'You are all so comfortable around each other.' Whatever jealousy she might have felt was simply smothered out. Longing? Guilt? Why did she feel such a thing!? And yet she knew the answer. She breathed in and turned away from Twilight. 'I should not have come.'
But she did, and so she stayed. Though for having been there, she felt as if she might as well have not been. She had nothing to say and nopony spoke to her, while the rest of them talked amongst themselves. Eventually, the time came where they exchanged gifts amongst themselves. She found herself surprised that they partook in it—they were mares but they almost acted as fillies, so filled with joy and warmth and happiness.
The gifts they exchanged seemed so frivolous to her: books and clothes and jars of food and little trinkets, and yet each item was given with meaning, an expression of love and gratitude and friendship.
They smiled and laughed and hugged and nuzzled one another as they gave and received gifts, and simply watching them left her feeling out of place: even Cadance and Twilight's parents had brought gifts for Twilight and each other, but she had brought nothing. And so she decided, 'Tomorrow morning, we will raise the moon together.'
And yet even knowing how special it would be, it somehow felt inadequate.
And after exchanging gifts, they settled back into the circle to enjoy each other's company for the rest of the evening. The wrapping paper and ribbons were cast aside. Snacks and punch—it was quite an odd term for a drink, at least to her—were had. They smiled and laughed and shared memories, talking about the days of their youth and times they had spent together. A few times, she had felt something of a smile pull at her lips.
And it brought her to reminisce on ages long since past, how she had once been young and naive, how she had once shared such a close bond with Sister, before it became tainted and corrupted and twisted into a weapon to use against her.
And so it came as no surprise that she inevitably found herself unhappy, longing for something more that seemed out of reach. Whatever it was, she did not know, but surely there had to be something more that could satisfy her.
The Captain eventually arose, smiling tiredly and saying, "It's late." They all knew what he was responsible for. Cadance quickly rose to be at his side, smiling apologetically and nuzzling him tenderly. They bade their goodbyes to Twilight and her friends and Twilight's parents. The Captain made his way to the door, but Cadance came to stand in front of her.
She regarded her niece curiously. For what purpose did the younger alicorn stand there before her? Her smile was soft, warm and perhaps meant to be reassuring. "I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening, Aunt," Cadance murmured.
And then Cadance hugged her.
She sat there for a moment, considering, 'Aunt,' before returning the hug. Twilight's parents watched them carefully, though the filly did not as she had seen such before.
"Remember that we're family," Cadance said as she pulled away. Her warm smile was still in place. "If you ever need to talk about anything."
She nodded once.
Cadance turned and walked over to her mate's side, and then the two of them left together.
She watched the door long after Cadance and her mate had left. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe joining them was not a mistake. Maybe she was not as much of an outsider as she thought she was.
A short while after Cadance had left, she stood up. Everypony save Twilight glanced at her. She ignored it in favor of walking around to the table with food and drink. She poured herself a cup of the 'punch' and took a drink of it. It was cold and sweet and smooth, and altogether pleasant. She found herself contemplating the strawberry flavor while watching Twilight smiling as she laughed and talked with her friends.
Twilight's father gradually made his way over to the table. It was hard to miss the way he cautiously eyed her as he approached, but once he reached the table, he turned his attention to the drinks. She momentarily glanced at him as he poured a cup of punch. His body betrayed tension, and worse, he glanced aside at her, saw her watching him, and then lifted his head up to face her after finishing filling his cup.
‘You are going to say something, aren’t you?’ Of course he would. He was Twilight’s father. As she watched him, she considered his features. She saw little of Twilight in him, for his coat was blue and his mane a darker blue. His eyes were a soft amber, unassuming. And interestingly enough, his cutie mark-she had not had a good look at it before—appeared to be two crescent moons open towards each other, the larger one enveloping the smaller one.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him swallow and lick his lips. “Being Twilight’s father,” he spoke cautiously, slowly turning to face her, “I’ve heard a lot of rumors about you. A lot of ponies are... very eager to share what they’ve heard.”
She tensed and her wings tightened. She turned to face him. He watched her carefully. “I am unsurprised,” she replied evenly. ‘I certainly did little to dissuade rumors...’ “How bad are they?”
For a moment, a flicker of worry passed over his features, and she thought she saw his muscles tense.
She inclined her head to him. "You should not be concerned with telling me what ponies say." He gradually turned his head to the left and looked over at Twilight. And so she likewise turned to look at Twilight. The filly glanced at them. Twilight’s gaze lingered and she thought she saw her smile fading slightly, replaced by worry. Twilight’s gaze finally went back to her friends. "Your daughter is quite remarkable. Her talent, her magic... it is..." she trailed off, feeling that words couldn't convey it.
“She was Princess Celestia’s student,” Night Light said testingly.
Nightmare grimaced and tentatively nodded. Even if hearing her Sister's name didn't enrage her, even if she didn't attack her student's father for it, the conversation seemed destined to end poorly. She breathed in, then let out, "So she was," under her breath. She swallowed and nodded again. "Her potential is remarkable."
For a time, he said nothing. He refilled his punch and took a drink. Finally, Night Light drew in a deep breath and looked to her. "The rumors say that you're impatient and impulsive," he finally said. She just barely tilted her head towards him to watch him as he continued, "That you murdered your sister in cold blood, and only claim to have banished her—" she frowned, but he wasn't looking at her, "—to avoid the consequences. There are rumors that you're responsible for the monsters attacking ponies, instead of just the night. There are rumors that you're using your magic to give ponies nightmares and forced Twilight to become your student."
She jerked to face him and opened her mouth, only to catch herself before snapping at him. To his credit, his resolve did not falter. Nightmare turned back to look at Twilight. 'So nothing new, then.' She gradually closed her mouth while disappointment again settled into her core. "I see," she stated.
“Of course... I don’t know how much stock to put into those rumors,” he continued. He grimaced and his eyes danced across the floor before finally settling on Twilight. “I remember seeing her again, the first time after you returned. She was... distraught and terrified.”
Nightmare grimaced and begrudgingly nodded, remembering the way she had treated Twilight. She held in a sigh at the memories and the regret that churned in her chest. “I will admit that... I handled it poorly,” she stated with a slight nod.
“I’m just glad that she’s okay now,” Night Light voiced.
Nightmare tilted her head to look over at him.
“I don’t know you very well,” he admitted, “but Twilight and Cadance do. Shining doesn’t like you—” Nightmare grimaced and leveled her head, “—but both Twilight and Cadance do. They’ve said that the rumors aren’t true. I’m more inclined to believe them than ponies who don’t know you.”
‘Perhaps I was wrong about you,’ Nightmare considered. She looked back at him. “I respect both Twilight and Cadance. Shining Armor as well, though not to the same extent as Twilight. I would be—” she turned away from him to look at Twilight, “—lying if I said that my sister did not make a good choice in taking Twilight as her student.”
He breathed in deep, then exhaled, almost sighing. “And now look at all she’s been through... Discord... the changelings...” He shook his head disbelievingly.
Nightmare grimaced and turned back to face him. He seemed far more tired than he had moments before, his body slouched slightly, betraying his age, even if he wasn’t all that old. It had to be the years from being a father, the concern for his foals. She turned away from him to once more look at Twilight. Maybe she shouldn’t have said it, but he was probably thinking it. “Myself as well. In hindsight, I can respect Twilight for standing against me, despite everything being weighted against her and her ultimately... failing.”
She waited several seconds before turning to meet his gaze.
He eventually looked away from her. “Years ago I never could have imagined Twilight facing all of that. She’s... she’s not that kind of pony.”
“But she is,” Nightmare calmly countered. He looked at her skeptically, surprised. “The night I returned, Twilight was ultimately the one who tried to stop me. Not the Royal Guard.” He frowned and gradually turned to look at Twilight again. “Has she told you about the Elements of Harmony?”
He glanced at her and gave a tentative nod.
“She bears the Element of Magic. It is her destiny.” She bowed her head. “She will accomplish great things, this I know.” Night Light looked at her again, his expression unreadable. “I want to see her accomplish all that she can. She is special, and she can do things which I cannot.”
“Stopping Discord,” he muttered.
She nodded once and turned away from him.
“I don’t want my filly to get hurt...” he said tiredly.
“I don’t want her to get hurt either,” she stated. “I won’t always be able to keep her safe, but I will try. It is one of the reasons I am teaching her how to defend herself. Celestia should have...” she trailed off and shook her head.
“Princess Celestia never mentioned intending to teach Twilight how to fight. I... thought that was for the best, but I have to admit that I wonder about that now. Maybe Shining should have taught her.”
“Your daughter is competent,” Nightmare said amicably, “one of the most powerful and talented unicorns I have had the pleasure of knowing. Your son is likewise impressive, but—” she smiled slightly and leaned her head to the right, “—ah, he is not Twilight.”
Night Light snorted and a bit of a smile pulled at his lips. “Still, he managed to get Princess Cadance’s attention.”
Nightmare shifted slightly. ‘And Twilight mine,’ she dared not say, even if it likely wouldn’t be taken as anything more than being her student. “Indeed,” she agreed.
A few more seconds passed. He breathed in, then looked at her. “Well... Happy hearth’s Warming.”
She nodded to him. “And you as well.” He turned and made his way back over to sit beside his wife.
She breathed in deep and gave a short, respectful bow to them before crossing opposite of them to sit down in her prior spot beside Twilight. Twilight glanced aside at her and smiled hopefully.
In her mind, it took far longer for Twilight's friends to leave than they should have. And after Twilight pulled away from their shared hug and watched her friends depart, the filly turned back to look at Nightmare and shut the door. And though anxiety tickled her chest, she was grateful that Twilight's parents had already left. They would not approve, and perhaps would never approve, of what they needed to speak about.
But they were yet not alone, as Spike stood beside Twilight. And for a time, she simply looked at Twilight while Twilight looked back at her. The moment drew on. Should she back down and leave? Eventually, she heard Twilight breathe in and saw her look down at Spike. "It's kind of late. Why don't you go ahead and go to bed?" Spike frowned, but before he could say anything, Twilight smiled and added, "I need to talk with Nightmare Moon about something. I'll be there soon, okay?"
He sighed and begrudgingly nodded. "Alright. Sure, stay up late why don't you," he grumbled as he turned and marched off towards the stairs.
Nightmare watched him climb up the stairs. Once he was at the top, she looked back at Twilight, who still watched him. Eventually, she lost track of the sound of his claws against the floor, and then Twilight looked back at her. The filly leaned right, then gradually approached her, and for her part, she tensed her body and held herself rigid. She found herself intimidated at Twilight's sluggish approach; the filly seemed to want to draw out how long it took to start the conversation, hesitating just like her. And at one time, she would have chastised herself for being so intimidated and for hesitating as she did.
And so suddenly, Twilight came to a stop in front of her. It seemed to happen faster than it should have, and with it having happened, her throat felt uncomfortably tight. She parted her lips to speak but found words eluding her. Twilight, however, waited patiently. Watching without the same surprise as earlier. Though she saw hints of anxiety in the corners of Twilight's eyes, the filly was mostly relaxed.
"I should not have—" she caught herself and broke eye contact. "I should have waited, rather than... telling you this morning.” She swallowed and licked her lips. “It was unfair of me to have put this on you so soon after everything that has happened last night."
For a few painful seconds, Twilight was silent. The filly's gaze dropped to her chest, then Twilight bowed her head to look at the floor. "It's fine."
She looked back down at Twilight; Twilight lifted her head back up to look at her. "I shouldn't have—" Twilight tossed her head to the side as if trying to shake a bitter memory from her mind, "—teleported away like that."
And so she slowly shook her head, dismissing the apology. "I can hardly blame you. I know you well enough to realize that..." she trailed off.
It was perhaps best left unsaid.
Twilight met her gaze for a moment, then immediately looked at her chest, focusing on one of the older burns. "Yeah..." the filly mumbled.
Several seconds passed in mutual silence.
"I do not know what to say," she admitted.
Twilight looked back up at her and breathed in, nodding. "Yeah. I don't either. I don't... I have no experience with... with this."
She inclined her head and looked at the staircase. "Nor do I." 'You are—I have made you uncomfortable, have I not?' She licked her lips and looked back at her friend. "We are—" she bit her lip, then released it, "—still—" 'She will be unhappy if I question our friendship.' "—good, yes?"
Twilight nodded, a little more relaxed than before. "Yeah."
And for having heard that, she felt relief. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking comfort in the blissful release of once more having freedom from anxiety. She opened her eyes.
Twilight held her tongue between her lips as if contemplating what to say. The filly's eyes darted off to the side, and her mouth finally opened. "I—" Twilight met her gaze, "—wouldn't say I'm—" and she saw familiar anxiety taking hold of her student again, "—um, opposed to..."
And so quietly was it spoken that she almost thought it hadn't been spoken, "Courting you."
"You would not—"
And Twilight's anxiety got the best of her; the filly squirmed, tossing her head left and right. "I-I just, I mean... I-I don't know. I'm not opposed and I don't know if it would work out or anything but I don't think that... I don't..." Twilight cringed. "I'm, um, willing to... at least... give it a try."
She nodded timidly. "I see."
Why did she feel so disappointed now? Twilight wasn't against the idea! But she only felt tired and defeated, wanting nothing more than to take her leave, though it wouldn't be fair on Twilight. "I... will not yet ask, Twilight." And the reason was simple. "You... you are still young."
Twilight cringed and nodded, shifting her weight uncomfortably. "Yes... that..." The filly met her gaze. "I talked with Cadance."
"I have as well," she commented.
Twilight leaned her head to the right. "Cadance said that."
She glanced off at the staircase. "Yes, I suppose she would have." She looked back at her friend.
Twilight fidgeted. "I'm going to be seventeen in a few months."
'Is that an offer?' she wondered. Her heart beat faster. She licked her lips but only said, "I see. I shall keep this in mind."
Twilight smiled awkwardly. "How, um, was your night?"
She grimaced and looked off at the bookshelf against the left wall. She breathed in deep, then sighed in disappointment. "I have failed to track down the Queen." 'I should not have opened with that,' she realized after the fact, wincing. And sure enough, a quick glance at Twilight found the filly wincing as well. "We managed to locate several of the missing ponies and deal with a few groups of changelings, though I am unsure if we will ever manage to fully secure Canterlot."
"I suppose Cadance and Shining Armor will have to reschedule their wedding," she mused. "Perhaps next time it will not end so poorly." She faced Twilight again. "Have you heard from the resistance as of late?" Twilight shook her head. "I see."
"I'll tell you when I do," Twilight said.
She nodded once. "And you are... still interested in helping me sort out the administration?"
Twilight nodded. "Yes. I may not have a whole lot of experience dealing with that but I've been told I'm good at organizing."
"Thank you." 'Yes, this will be good for you. You will get experience and perhaps you will be better at this than I.' And it would help prepare Twilight in case she ever had to become Regent.
Or at the very least, for when she was inevitably Princess.
Twilight breathed in and looked off to her left, breaking her thoughts. "I uh, got you something for Hearth's Warming." There was a flash of light and a crack, and a large rectangular box appeared in the air, enveloped in Twilight's aura. The unmarked blue box was wrapped in a red ribbon. She studied the box and watched as Twilight levitated it over to her. "I thought you might like it."
She gradually took the box in her own magic—it was heavier than she expected—and slid the ribbon off before removing the lid and bringing it closer to inspect.
She ran her eyes over the contraption inside, recognizing it rather quickly. "A telescope?" She looked at Twilight.
Twilight nodded enthusiastically. "Yes. I thought you'd like it. I figured since we've stargazed before and, well—" Twilight leaned her head to the right, smiling sheepishly, "—since you obviously like the night—" she felt a smile pull at her lips, "—I thought you'd appreciate it."
She nodded once, still smiling. "I do. We shall have to put it to use sometime." Twilight’s smile brightened. She carefully put the lid back on the box and teleported it to her bedchambers for later examination. "I... likewise have a gift for you," she said, then nodded. Twilight perked up even further. "Though... it will have to wait for morning."
Twilight blinked in confusion. "Oh. Um. Okay?"
She nudged her muzzle a little higher. "'Tis a surprise."
Twilight hummed as her smile returned. "I look forward to it, then."
'We both do.' "I suppose I shall take my leave, then." She crossed the remaining distance between the two of them and then stopped. Should she hug Twilight? She felt as if it would be imposing too much. In the end, it was Twilight who hugged her. Reared up on her hind legs, wrapped both forelegs around her neck and back and supported herself against her chest. So she leaned down and set her head against Twilight's neck and felt Twilight's head likewise rest against her shoulder and neck. She nosed into Twilight's mane ever so slightly and caught her scent of lavender and lilacs and books and of her friends.
The feeling of Twilight's fur against the bare skin of her burns still tickled, though wasn't as unfamiliar as before.
She carefully wrapped her legs around Twilight’s withers to return the hug. "Goodnight, Twilight," she murmured.
Twilight hugged her a little tighter. "Goodnight."
She laid on her back in the grass, staring up at her jeweled night sky. Trees' leaves rustled musically as a gentle summer's breeze blew by, reminding her of peaceful moments from ages past. The moon hung low in the west, dipping below the horizon, nearing time for her to coax it the rest of the way under the world, but yet it did not pull on her magic, nudging her like a foal would her mother for attention or milk.
Instead, she found herself feeling peace and ease. Above the flittering of leaves, she heard the quiet music of insects chirping and the distant hoots of owls. The world, she truly felt, was at peace.
Nothing imposed on her, nothing demanded of her.
The night was not cold and callous, rather, it felt like a warm, inviting summer's night. No clouds marred the sky, threatening rain and blocking her birthright from her sight. No chill bit into her coat, and the soft grassy ground was still as if a comforting bed compared to her prison.
Settled against her right side, she felt the comforting warmth of another body. When she finally moved her head to look, she felt her chin come to rest against Twilight's head.
The young mare looked at her, but laid where she was still so relaxed and at peace. Content, neither weighed down by anxiety nor fear nor nervousness. She looked free, and for it, she felt free herself. She smiled and gently rubbed her chin against Twilight's mane, bringing a small, graceful smile across her mate's lips.
"It's a beautiful night tonight," came Twilight's so musical voice.
And from hearing it, she laid her head back in the grass, closing her eyes, and smiled. "Truly it is..." she murmured. But her voice was not her own, but that of Luna's, and yet she did not consider it but for a moment.
Twilight shifted against her side, and she felt the young mare's chest come to rest against her shoulder.
When she opened her eyes, Twilight looked down at her, and surrounding the mare's innocent face she saw a halo of stars, almost like a crown, set up in the night sky surrounding her.
Twilight smiled.
She smiled.
"It's almost time for morning," Twilight said.
And with that, she felt something pull at her body. Regret? Indeed, regret, for the night was passing and would soon end, and with the night having passed, they would not be able to lay there together as they had for so many precious hours. "'Tis too beautiful to end so soon," she mumbled.
Twilight's smile grew more playful, and her eyes caught the glint of the moonlight, giving her a mischievous appearance. "There's always tomorrow night," Twilight murmured.
And so she sighed and closed her eyes again. Extending her left wing, she ran her feathers through Twilight's ethereal mane, touching the young mare's magic, feeling the slick, tickling embrace of the strands of her mane, and feeling Twilight's head lean into her touch, welcoming her as her own. And when she stopped and held her wing in place, she opened her eyes to look at Twilight and see her lean into her wing's embrace, and hardly a moment passed before Twilight's wing enveloped her own, holding it in place to her mates head.
Twilight ran her feathers against her own, weaving their feathers together like a mesh for a basket, but far more valuable and warm than any basket could ever be.
For what could she possibly trade for that would ever come close to a fraction of the value of what she had with Twilight?
She felt the moon start to pull at her magic, saw Twilight look away from her to look towards the moon. Saw how the young mare felt the same pull as she did. Bowed her head, lifting her head up from the grass to touch her chin to her neck. Felt Twilight's horn cross with hers, joining in an intimate moment where they wove their magic together, saying nothing, and lowered the moon below the horizon. Even for seeing Twilight's aura through her closed eyelids, she saw the world descend into darkness, felt the chill of the night start to press in.
She let go of her magic and opened her eyes to look into Twilight's eyes while her mate looked back into her own. Twilight's eyes sparkled as her aura danced around her horn.
And for whatever reason, looking into the mare's eyes made her feel inadequate and intimidated. She averted her gaze, then set her head back against the ground. For a few more seconds, she felt Twilight simply watching her. And she closed her eyes.
Then she felt Twilight reach out with her magic, wrap it around the sun and empower the mechanisms in place.
And she felt it as Twilight raised the sun, bringing with it dawn. The rays of soft, warm sunlight rushed passed the horizon to burn away the night's chill, lighting the world for all to see. And through her closed eyes she saw the lighting of the world from the rising sun, and for it, she felt fear.
She opened her eyes to look at Twilight and opened her mouth to speak, only for the crack of a teleportation spell to steal her words. Twilight turned to the left-where the sound had come from-and so she looked off to the left again, only to see her sister standing there.
When she opened her eyes, darkness greeted her, followed by the tug of the moon on her magic. But both were cast aside, even the ceiling was forgotten, as the dream lingered in her mind.
'You raised the sun.'
'Sister was there.'
'It was just a dream.'
'Did you free her?'
'You have the potential. We will raise the moon together.'
'Would you betray me like that? Would you trade me for Sister?'
Silence surrounded her. She was alone, as always. Alone and isolated. Just like so long ago. Just like her banishment. Except now, when she lifted her gaze, what greeted her was the gold-inlaid, marble ceiling, rather than the piercing black of space and the blue-green jewel that was Equis. And even if what she saw had changed, she wondered how much hadn't.
Because she did not feel happy.
She did not feel joy as Luna had before it was stolen from her.
She felt neither victory nor glory. Ponies yet despised her.
They mocked her and lied, spreading rumors that sought to undermine her, sought to hurt her.
And for how much Equestria had changed, for how much the world had moved on without her, under the guiding light of her sister?
Things had changed, and things had not changed.
Because time had taught her that lesson.
Unease pricked at her mind—Twilight would not simply throw her away, would she? Maybe that wasn’t what had happened in her dream, but she could not be sure. Still, it was just a dream. Nothing more.
She shook the dream from her mind, but the unease lingered. Regardless of how unnerving the dream had been, Twilight would enjoy her gift. Raising the moon with her would be special for Twilight.
She lit her horn and threw the bedsheets aside, then arose. Perhaps one night, she would not be the pony bringing the moonrise. She paused to watch the wall as she considered the thought. Twilight wouldn’t be able to yet, but if she was right about Twilight, then there would come a time when she could.
If she was right.
If she succeeded.
If she kept her promises.
She tentatively nodded to herself with the thought in mind. Twilight being able to do that would be good in case something happened to her. And surely, when the time came that Twilight could do it on her own, she would be more confident and sure of herself. She made her way to the balcony and came to a stop at the railing to watch the sky. Though marred by the captain’s shield, she could still see the stars so far above, shining brightly.
Yet perhaps having Twilight help her raise the moon this morning was a mistake. If Twilight wore herself out too much, then she would be vulnerable. She frowned at the thought but quickly cast it aside; she would stay close to Twilight if that was the case.
She turned her head to Ponyville. The sleepy village so far away was at peace; they had not been targets of the Changeling’s invasion. Perhaps there would come a time when they would raise the moon together from Twilight’s library.
She hoped they would.
She worried they wouldn’t.
Would it still be special, then? She hoped it would, but perhaps like for herself, it would lose its meaning. It was a worry for another time, so she pushed it to the back of her mind.
She relaxed and nodded to herself, then turned to look at Twilight’s tower. Perhaps if she did share it with Twilight more, it would no longer be as special—but for now, it would be special. She readied her magic, then teleported into the library so that she didn’t startle the guards this time.
Briefly looking around, she thought back on last night’s festivities, on Twilight’s father, and on what Twilight had told her. ‘Perhaps... I am rushing into this. But no, we will share this.’ She made her way up the stairs, walked to the door to Twilight’s bedroom, and then paused in the doorway to peer inside. Twilight laid in her bed, fast asleep. Safe. Unworried.
'You are innocent.'
'You are a good pony.'
'You are at peace.'
She exhaled, and it came out as a sigh. Turned her head to the left, then set her temple against the door frame. Looked at the floor.
‘Ah... I am wasting time and procrastinating.’
She pulled her head back from the door frame and quietly approached Twilight’s bed. She stopped to peer into Spike’s basket to find him sleeping soundly like his sister. 'I should not wake him.' With the thought in mind, she carefully crept alongside Twilight, then leaned down to whisper, "Twilight?"
The filly shifted under her covers, breathing in and opening her eyes before blinking twice. Her brow folded down, then relaxed. "Nightmare..?" Twilight mumbled.
She nodded once. "Yes."
Twilight frowned and glanced around, then rolled onto her back and turned her head to look out the window. "You've not even raised the moon yet?" Twilight turned back to face her, her brow folding down. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong," she answered. "It is... Come, I will give you your gift."
Twilight watched her for a few seconds. "Oh. Um... okay, it's a little early for that, isn't it?"
She didn't answer. What could she answer that would not ruin the surprise?
Twilight looked around. "I don't... what is it?"
She tilted her head slightly. "It is a surprise."
Twilight finally shifted her weight, then scooted towards the edge of the bed. She stepped back, and Twilight gradually climbed out of bed, stifling a yawn and ruffling her messy mane.
She nodded to herself and turned, though kept her head to where she looked back at Twilight. She lifted her wing in offer, and Twilight looked at it. Only then did she wince and turn away from Twilight, lowering her wing until it was back against her side. "I... apologize."
She heard Twilight walk up beside her, then stop. She turned to look and found Twilight meeting her gaze. "No, it's fine."
So she looked back at her wing, gradually raised it, then met Twilight's gaze. She saw nothing in the filly's eyes that spoke of condemnation or disapproval, so while she felt a tinge of worry in her core, she fought it off to drape her wing over Twilight's back. And then Twilight simply leaned into her embrace, resting her side against her own and smiling. The smile served to disarm her worry.
Twilight looked over at Spike for a few seconds, then turned back to face her. "So... what's this, um, surprise?"
She held Twilight to her side with her wing and bowed her head once. "You will see," she answered. 'I hope... this will be as special for you as it was for Luna when she first raised the moon. I hope this will be as special for you as it is for me to share it with you.' She turned away from Twilight and walked forward, saying, "Come. I will teleport us once we will not wake Spike."
And so Twilight followed right beside her, both curious and sleepy. She walked down the stairs, guiding Twilight along, careful to make sure that neither of them tripped—though it proved unnecessary.
She led Twilight to the door, then stopped and looked at her. 'It would be best to teleport now, so that the guards will not see us like this,' she decided. She wrapped her magic around both of them and cast the spell, teleporting both of them to her balcony.
And as soon as the flash of light faded, she turned her head to look at Twilight, watching the filly look around in search of her gift before finally looking at her curiously. 'You do not realize.'
But Twilight would soon enough.
She gradually turned herself so that she stood facing Twilight. Searched the filly’s eyes for the recognition that wasn't there. 'Should I tell you, or will you figure it out?' But regardless, Twilight didn't say anything. "Face me," she instructed, and after a short, curious pause, Twilight turned to face her.
She bowed her head low, bringing her horn down low enough that Twilight could reach it, though kept her eyes locked on Twilight's. And to her disappointment, Twilight still didn't recognize her offer—or perhaps seeing her head bowed in such a way simply confused the filly. Maybe it was both and more, since Twilight was still waking up.
"You will help me raise the moon. This is my gift to you," she finally said.
Twilight's eyes widened and her lips parted. The filly's body stiffened until it was as rigid as stone. "I-I can't do that!" the filly argued. "I'm just—"
Nightmare bowed her head low. "You can," she said to cut off Twilight's argument, "And you will."
So Twilight closed her mouth, though still staring at her. The filly's hooves fidgeted, then Twilight tossed her head left and right, looking everywhere but her.
She frowned and lifted her head back, "Why are you nervous?"
Twilight faced her, then broke eye contact before turning her head to the right. "I-I don't want to screw up. I-I can't do this." Twilight's head whipped around and the filly met her gaze. "I have no idea what to do!"
She inhaled and inclined her head once more. "You will not fail. I will show you," she murmured.
Twilight bit her lip, then tossed her head left and right while her hooves twisted against the floor.
She tilted her head and emphasized, "I will not let you fail. Trust me." Twilight looked at her again. "I have wanted to do this for some time but I was not sure you would be able to." She gradually looked to the left, studying the sky. "And I will admit that I am still unsure—" she turned back to meet Twilight's gaze, "—we will do this together. I will teach you."
"It is my gift to you," she said softly. "Something for us to share."
Twilight's panic slowly faded away as her eyes softened, and her tensed muscles slowly relaxed. "If... um, you're sure."
"I am," she wholeheartedly declared.
And though Twilight still hesitated a few seconds, she heard the filly breath in and saw her chest expand, then Twilight exhaled and bowed her head. Their horns crossed. Twilight closed her eyes. She closed her eyes. She channeled her magic into her horn and felt Twilight's aura intertwine with hers in an intimate dance. And as her magic wove together with Twilight's, anxiety ballooned in her core, making her tremble.
'You have so much potential.'
Yes, Twilight would help her raise the moon, sharing something with her that she had only shared with Sister before.
She reached out with her magic, coaxing Twilight's magic along with hers, bringing them both together to touch the spells that controlled the mechanisms of the heavens. Above the chime of their combined magic, she heard Twilight inhale or gasp. And she guided their magic along its course, felt Twilight prod around to explore. Gently guided Twilight to where she needed to be. Yet even while most of Twilight’s attention focused on where it needed to be, she still felt the filly curiously prodding around and exploring.
The moon rose above the horizon. A sliver at first, gradually more of it peeking over the edge of the world as if a foal investigating something new—Twilight's magic, perhaps.
And as the moon slowly rose, she set aside more of her magic, letting Twilight bear up the moon as much as she could with her own magic. And though she heard Twilight's labored breathing, the filly managed to bear up the moon almost entirely on her own.
A smile pulled at her lips: Twilight, guided by her magic, was accomplishing so much! A quiet grunt broke her focus, and almost instantly, she felt Twilight’s magic give out. The suddenness of it caught her by surprise, but no damage was done. Her smile dropped into a frown and her brow folded down—Twilight’s magic wasn’t nearly exhausted! What had—’You felt her, didn’t you?’ She opened her eyes and finished the spell.
Twilight stared at her, jaw slightly tight, ears halfway folded back. Avoiding eye contact as she breathed heavily.
And for a few seconds, she simply kept her horn crossed with Twilight's horn as the realization set in, both on herself, and on Twilight. Twilight knew she knew. Her jaw tightened as she watched Twilight’s gaze drop to her chest. What should have been perfect was, as always, ruined by her Sister.
Twilight broke horn contact first, turning her head away from her and looking a little lower, down at the balcony.
What could she say, what could she do? Her gift was now forever ruined. In the end, she could only silently lift her head up. There was nothing she could do to truly comfort Twilight.
Twilight glanced aside at her chest, then her eyes flicked back and forth seemingly at random, and as she watched, Twilight's head gradually turned away from her even more. The filly's ears folded pinned back against her mane. Her own ears folded back.
‘Dammit.’
The stirring anger, regret, and disappointment stirring within her quickly settled into disappointment.
And for that, she looked off to the left, casting her gaze out to the sky. Regarding the way the moon's light struck the snow-covered plains between Canterlot and Ponyville, then turning her body so that she stood facing Ponyville. She turned her head to face the moon and watch it ascend, slowly bringing that scarring back into view. The scarring that now scarred what should have been a perfect moment for them to share—what should have been a perfect, special gift to Twilight.
She heard Twilight turn, and when she looked over at her, she watched Twilight sit down facing the railing. The filly's head was bowed, with her gaze cast down to the courtyard below. And for her part, she was too aware of the silence. 'Perhaps I should not have shared this with you.' The way it weighted Twilight down hurt. Celestia deserved her banishment but Twilight did not deserve the pain it brought.
A grimace pulled at her lips. She sat down on her haunches and wrapped her wing around Twilight's back. The filly didn't pull away, but neither did Twilight look at her.
She looked back at Ponyville. For a long time, she simply watched the village. Twilight didn’t speak. Eventually, she drew in a deep breath, then spoke, "I was... half your age when I first raised the moon."
But Twilight said nothing.
"We—" she licked her lips, "—raised the sun and moon together, the first time, since neither of us truly knew what we were doing."
Twilight turned to face her. She turned to face Twilight. The filly didn't quite meet her gaze, and her ears were still folded back like her own.
"Of course... Starswirl was there," she added quietly. "He did not think we would be able to move the sun and moon. We were both fillies at the time. We hadn't ascended yet. We did not even have our cutie marks. Sister was... younger than you as well. Though not by much" She turned away from Twilight and faced Ponyville again. "He was... rather surprised when we moved the sun and moon. Even more so when he realized that Tia could move the sun on her own, and I the moon on my own."
She smiled a little as she thought back on that day. "He was... frustrated, too, as we may have... had some fun—" she nodded to herself, "—at his expense." Of course, his reaction to that was likewise predictable. She arched her brow up and tossed her head to the side. “He yelled at us for it, but... ah, we were fillies at the time, doing something that nopony else had done before... or could.”
A few seconds passed in silence.
"A while back—back when we were all visiting Hollow Shades—Rainbow Dash suggested I try raising the sun," Twilight said quietly.
'It's almost time for morning.'
'Tis too beautiful to end so soon.'
She felt cold as she turned to look at Twilight. At the very least, her ears weren’t folded back now. 'I dreamed that you did.' And for having thought that, for having remembered the dream, despite the memory of the warm rays of sunlight, she felt cold and paralyzed. "You could, with help," she admitted. 'And likely on your own, in time.'
Twilight's brow twitched down briefly. After a moment, Twilight looked at her chest, then turned back to face Ponyville.
For a while, they sat there in silence. She watched Twilight, watched the way her unbrushed mane fluttered as a chilly breeze blew past. Watched the way Twilight simply stared off at Ponyville, lost in thought, yet somehow at peace. She turned back to Ponyville.
And for longer still, neither of them said anything. The moon ascended higher into the sky, revealing most of the black craters. Pegasi and Batponies flew about on patrol, giving neither of them a look nor thought. Ponies started to wake; she could barely make out candles and other lights starting to glow to life in the far-distant village.
And Twilight finally said, "We raised the moon together."
"We did," Nightmare said with a single nod of her head. And it was not at all as she imagined, for it was ruined by disappointment and Sister. Had Sister not so mocked her, they would have both felt so free! Free from the burden of what Sister had done, what Sister had forced her to do. They would have raised the moon together in blissful peace. They would have raised it together and shared such a special moment together, something intimate, with meaning to both of them.
But they did not.
And for it, she felt lost and confused and defeated.