Baa-Ram-Ewe!

by Darkonshadows


107. Teaching responsibly.

-Earth, Camden Town, Nick-

“Well that was nice.” Judy stated pleasantly to me, we had a nice time snuggling together.

“Yeah and most people probably wouldn’t believe that we aren’t dating and are just friends.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s not me Judy, it’s you.”

“I agree that it’s me Nick, but at least we are still best friends.” Judy was always going to be that adorable meter maid that eventually became an International Police Officer, she’s like the little sister I’ve never had. “So my headaches gone, want to find what else is going on in the underbelly of this peaceful place called Camden?”

“Not much aside from several weird things, like Hunter legally selling Leap Lamb merchandise and is working on something with McDuck Enterprises. I already ordered a Caper Canine toy.” I brought the news up on my phone, but we’d get to the bottom of this weirdness. Carmelita also needed help finding clues about where the Cooper Gang was going to strike next, too bad she was out of my league because she was quite a fine biped vixen. I had some ideas and had suggested Carmelita head to China, it’s where one of the Fiendish Five is said to be and given that three are out of commission… “I bet that no matter where you are, bureaucracy is busy at work ruining someone’s life. It gets to a point that only a crazy person would like paperwork.”

“That’s a suckers bet and you know it.” Smiling at Judy as she went about preparing herself to take a shower and leave the hotel and to scout around Camden’s rather quaint and mostly quiet streets for something nefarious.

Also we still had a police horse to give a bushel of apples for a good job, so we were going grocery shopping too.

-Equus, Ponyville’s Castle, Twilight-

A sneeze erupted from my nose, along with a spout of green flames as a scroll appeared.

“Huh… that was actually kind of funny watching it from the other side of things.” My companion for life and little brother Spike stated with a broad purple smile. “Also I’m kind of proud how you haven’t freaked out over all of this.”

He was commenting on the fact that I was currently in his body and he was currently in mine, we carried on like nothing was wrong in any way, shape or form.

“Eh, I’ve always been one for methodical bureaucracy.” I continued to work the papers placed before us with my claws instead of my horn. “Huh, Rarity is saying that Cadence is making a nuisance of herself in Ponyville. Do you think we should just let them sort her out themselves?”

“What, in this economy?” Spike crossed her hooves in an indignant manner. “I know Mayor Mare budgets for disasters, but Ponyville can’t take an alicorn level disaster at the moment!”

“Eh, I’m sure they’ll be fine.” I murmured as I got back to doing paperwork, I enjoyed how dry each document was. Far more peaceful than dealing with the insanity of life.

Delegation of tasks would help immensely, but I would always put a personal touch on my paperwork. It was mostly just to let everyone know I was absolutely paying attention to whatever they were trying to slip by me.

I didn’t want Jaded to play a game of ‘loopholes’ again, I’ve learned my lesson about that and so have the nobles of Canterlot.

It was surprising that the nobles unanimously agreed to not poke the cat, or Discord who has been having fun in southern Equestria recently. If the rising number of rubber duck incidents was anything to go by, Discord wasn’t causing too much trouble at the moment… aside from the constant whispers of rubber ducks of doom.

How did Celestia deal with this for a thousand years alone again?

-Earth, Somewhere in West Africa, Wakanda, Pom-

The city of Wakanda was pretty nice, it was much like Camden in some ways. We were on the outskirts of it and would eventually work towards finding a plane out of Africa once we had the money for it. I wanted to take Dolly back to Britain.

“What do you mean you’re not good at fighting?!” Dolly shouted at me with her front paws clenched, the Dalmatian was just plain adorable when angry. “You’re like one of the coolest people I know! You took down a swarm of robots and saved all the people in that bank, you fought a strange monster while clinging to a plane and you basically have super powers! How can you think you are bad at fighting?!”

“I didn’t say that I thought I was bad at fighting, I said that I’m just not good at it. My abilities are just not based in going on the offensive like you seem to think. In fact, I specialize entirely in evasion and defense. If anyone was specialized in going on the offensive, it would be my four god-puppies.” I sighed, it was not hard to feel homesick for Ruff, Woof, Puff and Tuft or their mother Big Mama giving me an affectionate nuzzle like Dolly had when I woke up this morning. It almost made me think I was home and not living in a makeshift camp outside the nearby city. “Most of my fighting skills come from mostly mimicking my friend’s capabilities, otherwise they are based entirely around my fluffmancer abilities. If someone shaved off all my wool, I’d be relying entirely on my speed. Not that I would allow just anyone to do that… but my skills are not my own except for one ability. I’m going to show you exactly how I lost my voice in the first place, but I’m not going to go so far as to damage my throat. It’s the one original move that I have that was created by me. It started out at the size of a baseball, but it’s gotten more impressive over time and I think my throat is back in order enough to show you.”

The wolf claw technique my hooves can do? It is something I learned based on watching Shanty do her Cut-Lash style, but only did it when I went feral. The shaman I met in the previous dimension showed me how to wield it, but unlike Shanty I didn’t need to swing my legs to create those claws. I’m still quite wary of actively using something lethal like that on anything.

Dolly was watching me silently as I set up a target for the one ability that was mine and mine alone, the Bark Blast. Bark Breaker was taught to me by a shaman, so that one wasn’t my personal technique. Once I had the chunk of wood sitting on a rock, I cleared my throat and turned to Dolly.

“Now watch, this is the only move I learned to do on my own and is the only thing nobody ever taught me or I didn’t mimic from having watched someone else do it.” Inhaling I built up energy in my throat and then let out a sharp bark, the usual oval shaped burst of energy flew out of my mouth and blasted the wood apart… it also took out a large chunk of the rock. “That is called a Bark Blast.”

“Bow-Wacka-Wow… so you hurt your throat doing one of those?” Dolly stated while staring at the bits of wood wide eyed, notably her tail was wagging excitedly and she had a bright smile on her face. “That’s kind of like Bolt’s super bark, but it’s a real one!”

“No, I hurt my throat doing a different version of that, one that didn’t even destroy the targets I aimed at. Said targets were still quite dangerous afterwards and are still likely roaming around.” I wasn’t strong enough to defeat those metal wolves and afterwards they just… ran off into the wilderness once Ocellus lost control. “Fighting doesn’t just involve hitting your opponent hard, sometimes it involves finding a way to leverage what you can do against a stronger opponent to make them incapable of hurting you or anyone else. So who’s Bolt?”

“How do you not know… right, alien… heh, it is kind of easy to forget about that. You are so normal to me now, it’s kind of hard to tell you’re from somewhere else.” Dolly rubbed the back of her head with a paw while looking away with a weak grin on her face. She quickly turned back to me. “Anyway, about Bolt the Wonder Dog, it’s a television show. The puppies in my family love his show and while I didn’t think much of it personally… they certainly do. If you’re an animal, you can tell what Bolt is actually saying and that that dork absolutely believes in all the stuff he’s doing on the show. It’s all just fancy special effects though. That I might actually be able to learn how to do something like that personally is actually kind of exciting, I’d be a real super dog and not just some actor!”

“Speaking of learning, you need to learn how dance.” I stated quite plainly, Dolly gave me a questioning look and tilted her head.

“I already know how to dance, I’ve already got the moves!” Dolly started to bounce on her hind legs while shifting her hips back and forth while swaying her tail and her front paws mover around in a circular motions.

“My wool can insulate against lighting, electricity, fire, heat and reflect outwards sources of dangerous magical energy, but if I were to start rubbing my legs together and build of magical lighting from my wool… well I can gain immense power. The technique in question is called Shock-Ram, it’s a technique that can revive someone and make the user practically unstoppable in some cases. It is a technique I’ve used exactly once, to save Shanty’s life.” I still have nightmares about fighting Tai Lung and my heart exploding in my chest after pushing my body too far. I was staring straight into Dolly’s eyes as I told her about this. “The technique, when used, causes the user lose all the limiters on their body. This means the user will be able to act far beyond what they are naturally capable of. To simplify for you, it could give me the ability to jump a mile straight up, I could move at Mach speeds and my strength would allow me to physically rip a building in half with my hooves. It’s absolutely a technique of raw power, but is only supposed to be used medically in an emergency.”

I paused and looked at Dolly waiting for her to ask the question.

“And?” The dotted dog queried. “Why did you only use it once if it could make you that strong?”

“The one time I used it, I lost the fight I got involved in after reviving Shanty from having her heart stopped. I lost the fight to the guy that did an ‘accidental’ heart stopping attack on her.” The stare I received from Dolly had quite a bit of disbelief in it. “You see, there is a drawback to Shock-Ram and that is that it disables all the limiters on the body.”

“What are limiters… and didn’t you just say that losing them allowed you to do all that crazy sounding stuff?” Dolly seemed to be paying me full attention now. Good, she needed to learn this lesson before I taught her to dance.

“Yes, do you know how exercise builds muscles?” It was a weak nod that I got from Dolly as I answered her second question first, she looked like she had a vague idea where this was going. “Limiters are a body’s way of telling you to stop pushing it and to let it rest so it can rebuild, limiters keep you safe from over exertion and or killing yourself when you do normal things throughout a day. While under the effects of Shock-Ram, you lose the ability to feel pain, your muscles start tearing themselves apart and you do more damage to yourself than to your opponent just by standing still and breathing alone. If I were to run around too much after using Shock-Ram, then my heart would literally explode in my chest and I would die immediately. It makes you powerful for a short amount of time, but the cost is a month or more in traction or outright death from having all the muscles in your body practically liquefy. If you survive the effects and ever wake up, then you will be in extreme pain for the remaining duration of it. Even if I were to stand or sit perfectly still after using Shock-Ram to save someone’s life, as it is a medical technique to revive someone from near death, I would still have to recover for a month afterwards. The stronger you are the stronger its effects, but it can still have the same deadly outcome. Now do you want to know why I lost?”

“Uh… yeah…” Dolly’s ears were wilting and her tail went still.

“I lost because I wasn’t as skilled as my opponent in taking blows at the time. I could basically match him blow for blow, but any hit he dealt to me was far worse than whatever I could do to him with the unknown time limit I was working under for how long I could keep fighting before my body gave out on me and I would ultimately die on my hooves if I went to far. I was aware of this and ‘barely’ survived that encounter, even eventually reconciled with the guy that almost killed Shanty and then me by my use of the revival technique on her.” I let that sink in for a moment, before I addressed Dolly with a serious tone. “This is why I’m not liable to teach you any magic, even if you were capable of doing it and I were completely capable of teaching you how to. If showing off is what you want to use it for, then I won’t be the one responsible for you killing yourself. I showed you my bark blast to make a point, what did it do to that block of wood and the rock I set the wood on?”

Dolly looked at the splinters of wood nearby in a different light and she frowned, she turned back to me looking a bit more pensive.

“I don’t like that they are calling me Caper Canine…” Dolly finally stated quietly. “I got the moniker of sidekick and I really didn’t do that much to earn it aside from using my hard earned skateboard skills. Skateboarding is a dangerous sport for bipeds. For animals like me we’re lower to the ground and less likely to break a leg, which is something I’ve admittedly done before. I’m always bothering my step brother Dylan because I want his attention just as much as the rest of my family, he’s the big brother that everyone loves and can rely on. I’m… well…. the less reliable big sister, more so than ever to them considering where I currently am.”

“I’m here for you right now Dolly, also it’s fairly hard not to stand out when you’re likely the only Dalmatian within a hundred miles.” Letting out a snort, I motioned for her to come closer and I gave her a hug. Until the Tail Team is done figuring out what they can do for us and are throwing the poachers to the bipeds to deal with, I’m stuck here with Dolly and have an opportunity to train her. “So let’s start with a few things, fighting is not just learning moves… it’s learning how and when to move, like anything you learn in life can be used in a fight if done right. Like how you took the head off that gorilla bot, people saw that and were definitely impressed with you Dolly.”

“Yeah, but I’m sure you could have gotten out of that eventually.” Dolly seemed to shrink down and seemed to be acting more humble.

“My wool was the only thing keeping it from crushing my squishy body in its grip, you actually helped me out when I was having trouble.” I just wanted her to know she did good, even if I only had her do mostly basic exercises. “I’m glad you were able to help me several times without getting seriously hurt. It scared me when it looked like you were going to leap into the jaws of the cloud monster thing.”

“Yeah, I had no idea what I was thinking when I did that… all I knew is that if I didn’t protect you I’d be dead too. I think my bond to you is a little bit… coercive.” Dolly didn’t seem to like saying that. “Your magnetism was already bad enough, even after you explained it to my family. Actually having a bond with you… just makes things far more complicated for me emotionally.”

“Well we’re both a mess…” I stated blankly. “So... want to learn how to dance?”

“Sure thing Leap Lamb.” The fact that Dolly said this wryly made me roll my eyes.

“Okay, first thing I’m teaching you is how to move around on your hind legs in a fight. Bipedal motions should be easier for you… my long legs make it really awkward so I have to have an exceptionally wider stance.” I motioned Dolly to stand up and she did so. Put my hooves under her paws and held her in a standing position. “Now slowly step as I do and try to lean back a bit, using your spine like this is going to take some getting used to. You can do some fighting on all fours, but fighting on your hind legs will be a trick no other dog should be able to mimic easily without learning how to. Now step forward with your hind legs as I step back…”

-Approximately thirty minutes later-

“This isn’t easy.” Dolly said while breathing roughly on her back. “I think I’m only so good at this because I tend to stand up on my skateboard like a biped at times.”

Her skateboard and helmet had been sitting off to the side along with my supplies… what little of them there are that I didn’t pick up in the jungle. The peanut butter was mostly for Dolly, as were the bananas, she would need a more varied diet sooner rather than later if she was to stay in good health.

“Yes, well, I have been training you to move around normally, this is moving around abnormally.” Watching the Dalmatian roll onto her paws, I motioned for her to do what I showed her again. “Now into a standing position.”

She went up onto her hind legs and flicked her tail up slightly and found her balance as she shakily stood on her hind paws.

“Widen you’re hind legs slightly. Spread you’re front legs off to the side for balance.” She does so and her shaky balance evens out. “Okay, good! Now focus on dashing forward and thrusting your right paw straight at my chest while twisting it into position, like I showed you.”

Dolly carefully took two stumbling steps, before she charged at me on her hind legs, her right paw pulled back and the bottom was facing the sky.

She clenched her paw into a fist as she thrust it forward and flipped it, it struck me in the chest and I shook slightly. I was on all fours so she could even land the hit.

“Good… nice blow Dolly.” I wondered if I was going to teach my god-puppies how to fight like this… oh they would be little terrors if they learned how to do this stuff. “Now straight left.”

She performed the same kind of attack, struck with the same force and managed to keep her balance this time instead of falling onto her back.

“Okay, claws out and left hook.” She struck me again. “Right.”

Another blow.

“Okay I think you’ve got the basics of how to land a blow while on your hind legs, now learn we’ll how to kick with them… on your back. You’re going to learn the prone buck first, then a normal buck and one legged side buck.” As I asked, Dolly didn’t complain and fell onto her back, I moved next to and fell onto mine. “Now the reason we’re doing this first is to practice recovery if you end up in this position.”

I crunched my hind legs against my belly and kicked straight out, I crunched and kicked upwards at a forty five degree angle and then I kicked straight up and rolled backwards onto my hooves.

“Only kick straight up if you are going to roll backwards, I’m sure you can figure out why.” Given she was actively paying attention to me, I’m fairly sure that the smile on Dolly’s face was because she was actually learning from me.

“This is learning how to fight on four or two legs and switch between the two in the middle of a fight, so I only kick up if I want to roll backwards onto four or two legs depending on what I want to do next?” Dolly guessed correctly and I sent her a nod, she smile and her tail wagged. “Can we fix my helmet or find me a new one? Also some stuff to repair my board.”

“If you can help me make the money to do so, but if you want a costume… well... no capes. Capes are terrible for super heroes without invulnerability Caper Canine.” At my use her sidekick name, Dolly groaned.

-One hour later-

“Did anyone tell you that you were a good teacher? I know you said that you were already good with dogs… but this is a bit ridiculous!” Dolly put her paws on her hips as she stood on her hind legs. “Ugh, this is putting quite a bit of pressure on my back.”

“Which is why I have you swapping between the two when attacking me. Buck, roll and spin into a left paw.” Dolly was facing away from me at the moment. She slammed her hind legs into me and used the blow to rolled forward twist around and then went onto her hind legs to lunge forward and hit me with a hook. “You kept your balance, good job Dolly, now right.”

“I really want to learn so I can help you more Pom, plus it’s kind of cool and I really don’t want my 'fam' to see me dead or doing dangerous stuff on the news without looking like I have some kind of idea of what I’m doing… well… again.” She then turned around and went to four paws, bucked, rolled forward and then spun around to hit me with a lunging right hook. “Also, I can see why you’re so hard to hurt.”

“Well... you’re advancing faster than I thought you could… would you like to learn how to kick with your hind legs in a bipedal stance without losing your balance or would you like to learn grappling first?” I haven’t actually trained a dog like this before, but I was trying this for Dolly because she wanted to learn. “You can practice paw thrusts and hooks on your own, I’m not going to force you to practice. Remember Dolly, at your size you’re not going to do a lot of damage to larger opponents.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Dolly stated somberly. “When I see the 'fam' again, I can honestly tell them I was trained by a hero. Bipedal kicking first, it would help with some skateboard tricks!”

“I don't think of myself as a hero." I received a flat stare. "I just like helping people!"