The creature looked down upon the Canterlot High School Board of Education and let out a sinister laugh. “Good evening, humans; you can call me Discord. I’m delighted to break your acquaintance—I mean, make your acquaintance.” He lowered his raised claw and twirled around slightly, examining each member of the group with a predatory eye.
Were the construction noise not so loud, perhaps someone may have heard the Board’s collective scream of terror.
In an instant, all five members flooded to the door at the front of the room in an attempt to escape. Blueblood reached the door first and yanked on the handle, however it broke off in his hand. The president hastily attempted to reattach the handle until, with a bright flash, it turned into a giant squirming snail in his hands. The appearance of said snail elicited a whole second round of screams from the group as Blueblood flung it onto the floor.
“Hey, you all need to slow down!” Discord exclaimed as the snail started to inch across the carpeted floor. He snapped his fingers and transformed the snail into a small line of ants which, in marching tempo, weaved their way through the feet of the members and climbed back up to where the handle of the door once was, circling around it repeatedly. “Don’t get so antsy.”
Fancy Pants kept swapping focus between helping Blueblood ram down the door and trying to make sense of the monster across the room. His gut instinct had been correct; whatever this thing was, it should never have been let in the room at all. Anytime he looked back at the creature—Discord, he thought to himself—it almost appeared to be making itself intentionally docile: it was making no movement beyond the snapping of its fingers, and simply floated above them with a smug grin on its face. Fancy hesitated slightly, but the rapid cries of the other members started him back onto ramming into the door.
Discord sighed in frustration. “Let’s all get back to our chairs and have an honest conversation, like the good friends we are.” The ants simply skittered around the area of the handle, never reforming into what would be the only chance for escape. Blueblood threw his whole body weight against the door, but it didn’t give under the pressure. “Oh, give up already!” Discord shouted.
The person farthest from the door was Shining Armor, who planted himself in front of the group and stretched out his arms in a last-ditch effort to protect them. “I don’t know what you are, but you’re not going to hurt us.”
“Well, we’ve got a little hero over here,” Discord snickered. “Don’t worry kid, I’m not going to hurt you. Tussle you up a little bit, sure, but you’ll all be safe and sound—I promise.” He snapped his fingers and a cupcake shot out from the sky and landed directly onto his eyeball.
Filthy Rich turned away from the door and, behind Shining’s human blockade, dug through his coat to find his wallet. “What do you want from us? Is it money? Information? I’ll give you anything if you let us go.” Filthy eventually found his wallet, but when he pulled out a few bills to hand over he was met with the face of the same draconequus wearing a fluffy wig directly on his dollar. The bill winked at Filthy, and he dropped his whole wallet to the ground in shock.
“The only thing I want from you all is to have a quick chat,” said the Discord dollar. “I promise it’s worth your time.”
“Get me out of here!” Blueblood screamed, still banging his fists against the door.
“You can all take a seat any day now,” Discord merely replied, becoming bored with the group’s resistance. “I’m not going anywhere, and no one’s leaving until we talk.” He sat down on the chair and crossed his legs, settling in comfortably. After a pause, he puffed out his cheeks and started to whistle a series of unnerving notes.
“Let me try that door, sonny,” said Granny Smith to Blueblood. She walked over to the door and, mustering up more strength than one would expect a woman her age to have, kicked directly where the door handle once was. Despite the large crack they all heard, and a few squashed ants, the door didn’t budge an inch.
Discord kept whistling, but the notes became even more scattered and uncomfortable. He snapped his fingers and began projecting his discordant tune across the school intercom. “I can stop anytime. All you have to do is take a seat.”
Granny Smith stepped away from the door and heaved in a breath. “Oh, all right then. No use wastin’ more energy.” She hobbled over to her seat and, despite being placed directly to the left of Discord, sat down and faced him head on. “That kick hurt my hip. I’d’ve had to sit down soon anyway.” She glared at the creature. “Now will you shut up?”
Discord stopped whistling and a frown crossed his face. “I’ll have you know that little concert there gets me quite the booking at the Canterlot Free Jazz Festival.”
“What do you want from us?” growled Shining Armor, still in a protective stance.
Discord crossed his arms. “As I have said, I just want to engage in some lovely conversation. Would the rest of you like to join, or should I go grab my Chaos Weekly? I’m bored.” He lifted up his paw and pointed to a loudly-ticking watch. After a few more seconds, a small bird popped out, releasing a few cuckoos.
Shining Armor eased out of his stance and, still keeping his eyes on Discord, approached the seat to Discord’s right. He slid into his seat, never letting up his hostile gaze.
“Thank you, good sir,” Discord said poshly. “Your kindness is much appreciated.”
Fancy Pants and Filthy Rich shared a nervous glance before returning to their seats. Blueblood, however, continued to pound at the door, hoping for anyone to call.
“Oh, enough of that,” Discord grumbled. He snapped his fingers, and Blueblood appeared wide-eyed in his seat at the table. “Now then,” he said, “let’s begin.”
Blueblood immediately jumped back out of his chair and ran to the door, continuing his calls for help. Discord sighed and snapped his fingers again, teleporting Blueblood back to his chair once more. This time, he magically wrapped a rope around Blueblood and put a piece of tape over his mouth.
“Alright,” Discord repeated. “I’m here to argue a different case.”
All five members glared at the draconequus, briefly sharing nervous glances between one another. Blueblood attempted to scream, but it only came out as a muffled gurgle.
Discord threw up his hands. “Well? Anybody?”
Fancy Pants nervously raised his hand. “Well . . . I feel like we’ve skipped a step. What are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Those’re some sharp fangs you’ve got there, mister,” added Granny.
The draconequus sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Alright, we’ve clearly started off on the wrong hoof—I mean foot. Change of ideas!” Discord jumped up from his seat and snapped his fingers.
In the center of the table appeared five glasses of a bright, fruity drink. “The only way for this whole ‘discussion’ thing to work is if we’re all cordial with one another. Fortunately, ‘cord’ is in my name. We’re already halfway there.”
“Doesn’t the Dis in front of cord negate your point completely?” asked Shining Armor.
“Whatever, kid,” Discord replied. The draconequus popped a sixth drink into his hand and held it out to the table. “This is simple enough: we’re going to break the ice by sharing a little drink. I’ve got here in my hand a fruit cordial,” he showed off the glass which looked like the normal fruity drink, except the front of the glass had Discord’s arms and face on it, smiling and waving at its surroundings with a delighted squeal. “And on the table in front of you are fruit discordials.” The glasses on the table sprouted similar features, except the Discords on the drinks wore frowns and shied away from the members’ gazes.
“You see, I’ve got a fruit cordial because I want to be cordial with all of you. How do you turn a fruit discordial into a normal cordial? Easy! Just pick it up and drink, and promise to join in with this discussion seriously,” he finished, sitting down with a smirk. The glares each member held at the table had quickly turned into confused glances.
“You’re a mighty bit strange,” said Granny Smith. “Still,” she shrugged, “I’m not one to pass up a drink. It’s been a long day, after all.” She reached for a drink and grasped it in her hands. The grumpy Discord on the front let out a small squeal when she brought it up to her lips, and upon drinking it, it’s frown lifted into a happy smile.
“See?” Discord said to the others. “Not so bad at all! Thank you, Mrs. Smith, for setting such a good example.”
Granny set down the drink, smacking her lips. “Hm. It could use some more apples. And less . . . personality.”
Fancy Pants reached for the drink, slightly less worried now that Granny had proved there was nothing wrong with it. Although he was certainly terrified of playing along in the monster’s game, no other option was presenting itself. He glanced at Filthy Rich and saw that the businessman was doing the same, which reaffirmed his belief that there was no other way. He raised the glass to his lips and was met with the taste of raspberries. The others around their table downed their drinks quickly. The only person not to touch the drink was Blueblood, still bound up in the chair.
“Blueblood, would you like a drink?” asked Discord, seemingly getting a kick out of the president’s current dilemma. “As a gesture of goodwill?”
Blueblood let out a muffled groan.
“Oh, alright, I’ll release you.” Discord snapped his fingers and unbound the rope around Blueblood. He ripped the tape off of his face.
“Just what are you? And what are you going to do to us?” Blueblood cried. He jumped out of his chair and made a few steps toward the door, but upon remembering what occurred last time, gently took a step back and sat down.
“Oh, I give up on you,” Discord murmured as he snapped away all the drinks from the table. “Now, then. I believe that there is a better option for the punishment of Sunset Shimmer.”
Blueblood completely ignored Discord’s previous statement. “How did you get here? And why are you here?”
“Well, one, I’m a being of chaos, and two, I’m a being of chaos.” The draconequus snickered to himself. “The smaller details aren’t important. As far as you all need to know or care, I am here on behalf of Miss Shimmer.”
“Are you her guardian?” asked Filthy Rich.
Discord snorted. “No, no, just a representative. May I be allowed to say my piece?”
“As long as you don’t try anything,” Shining growled.
Discord raised himself out of the chair. “No, I will not. In fact, I encourage all of you to respond to me once I finish. Ahem,” he cleared his throat. “I’m sure we’re all aware of the situation Miss Shimmer has found herself in. I am asking that, due to the strange nature of this case, Sunset Shimmer be allowed to continue her enrollment at Canterlot High.”
Discord crossed his arms and nodded to himself in agreement. The Board glanced around at one another, slightly confused.
“What?” Blueblood exclaimed. “That’s all you’re here for?” He let out an exasperated laugh. “This is absurd. No. I’m not going to let that bully stay in school no matter if she has whatever you are on her side.”
Discord frowned. “I just believe that Sunset is better suited as a member of this school than wasting away at home.”
“It’s just not possible from a policy standpoint,” Filthy Rich interjected. “It goes against our own rulings to be so lenient, as many kids have been expelled for less.”
Discord nodded, pulling out a towel to wipe some sweat off of his brow. “I suppose they have.”
“That’s the truth,” Granny Smith said. “I’ve been working at this school for years, and I know when a student needs to go. I ain’t saying I’d like to send her off, but that girl tore a lot of families apart for her own gain.”
“I suppose she certainly did do that,” Discord began frantically wiping the sweat off of his face.
Fancy Pants nodded in agreement. “I know nearly everyone in the city, and my phone has exploded with notifications over the past week. Everyone has a story to tell about Sunset, and none of them are good. Frankly, she should have been taken out of this school long ago. Helping this girl would put far too much heat onto us, especially since we will have to explain ourselves in the next public meeting.”
“That it would,” Discord said nervously as he pulled out a water bucket to wring out the sweat from his soaked towel. He turned his head into a literal fountain, creating a small pool for his nervous sweat to fall into and get shot back out from the top.
“I’ve seen plenty of kids like Sunset at Crystal Prep,” said Shining Armor, slightly unnerved by Discord’s appearance. “None ever pushed their obsession with control as far as this girl, but I always thought that they could use some tough love to get them back on track. Not punishing Sunset would be a disservice to her. She might actually sort herself out if we take her sense of power away.”
“She probably would.” The floor around the draconequus was covered in a puddle of sweat and he pulled out a towel to place over top of it. He sat himself down on the towel and began to stroke his goatee in thought. After silently murmuring to himself for half a minute, he gazed at each member of the table, almost drinking in their features. Eventually, a lightbulb lit up above his head, and a broad smirk crossed his face.
“Aha!” he exclaimed. “Everything you said may not be entirely incorrect, but you don’t know the full story. I do.”
Before the group could even form a comment on Discord’s previous outburst, the meeting room door flew open and Principal Celestia came storming in. “What’s going on in here! I heard banging but when I tried to open the door it was locked—” Discord twirled his finger and the principal was flung out of the room without a second glance, the door locked behind her.
“I can’t escape her, I swear,” he sighed.
Blueblood jumped from his seat in anger upon seeing what happened to his aunt. “What sort of thing are you? A demon, who gets his kicks off of messing with people for fun?”
Discord scowled at Blueblood’s accusation. “I’m no demon,” he growled, the area around the table darkening. Fancy Pants felt his bones begin to tremble. “I’m the Lord of Chaos!” His admission sent a wave of fear around the table. “That’s far, far worse than some lowly demon! I can turn you all into breadcrumbs with the snap of my finger. I can turn breadcrumbs into you with the snap of my finger!”
The group stared on in shock as Discord’s form grew larger and his eyes grew darker, soaking up all the space in the room. “I’m going to die today, aren’t I,” muttered Fancy Pants.
“At least I just got my will redone,” said Filthy Rich.
Discord snapped, the thunder and darkness disappearing from view to leave just the overbearing draconequus on the table. “I’m getting carried away again, aren’t I?” he said with a frown. “I’m still new to this whole ‘friendliness’ thing, and the jury’s still out on whether I like it or not. But for now, I . . .” he held himself back from vomiting, “I apologize,” he hissed.
“Not accepted,” Blueblood said immediately.
“I’ll accept it,” said Granny Smith. Discord briefly smiled at her. “So you’re a lord of chaos, huh? Didn’t Celestia say you were a psychologist?” asked Granny Smith.
“I am The lord of chaos,” Discord responded, “but I also hold several degrees from the University of Canterlot.” He snapped his fingers and put on a graduation cap and gown, dropping several diplomas onto the table one by one. “Physics, psychology, Chineighse, economics, food science—you’d be surprised at how much you can pick up when trapped in a statue.”
“So what’s your goal for being here, then, if you’re so smart?” asked Shining Armor. “What’s in it for you?”
Discord removed his graduation outfit. “Well, academically-speaking, I get to conduct lots of research. Unstable parallel worlds, human development, attachment theory; so much potential for things to go wrong! I’m giddy.”
“So are we nothing more than guinea pigs, then?” Shining rebutted. “This is just some whim of yours?”
“No, no, no,” Discord tutted. “The research is a fun plus of being with all of you gentlefolks, but I am genuinely here to argue the case for Miss Shimmer. And I believe that I can do so, even if you all present strong arguments.”
“Well I will not allow you to do so,” declared Blueblood, puffing up his chest to feign confidence. “As President of the Board, I demand you leave this room for the safety of this meeting and the well-being of our members.”
“Must I?” Discord said with a pout. He sat down in the chair across from Blueblood at the other end of the table, locking eyes with him.
“I will not entertain any more comments from a being who willingly declares themself the lord of chaos! Why, that’s like opening the door for a bull into a china shop.” Although he was clearly frightened, he continued to push forward in his semblance of a last stand. “I-if the only person willing to argue for this girl is you, then why are we even . . . here . . .” he trailed off as he noticed Discord seated across from was lulling himself into a sleep, and the other members sat awkwardly around the table, not meeting Blueblood's eyes.
Discord jumped out of his dream and rubbed his eyes. “Oh! I’m terribly sorry, I just get so very lethargic anytime someone tries to enforce regulations upon me.”
“Do you even care about this? Or do you just want to harm us?” asked Blueblood.
“I will not do anything to harm you,” the draconequus said softly, “And I care just as much as you do. All I want to do is talk. Will you let me?”
Blueblood swallowed roughly, his throat full of saliva. “I . . .” He glanced around the table and found the other members watching him concernedly—and defeatedly, too.
“What choice do we have?” said Shining. “We can’t fight him.”
“I’m getting too old to resist,” added Granny.
“It could be worse. He could be after something of value. Our lives, even,” said Filthy Rich.
“Relax, Blueblood,” said Fancy Pants. “Even in public meetings everyone is given the chance to speak. We just have to trust his word.”
Blueblood wiped the sweat off of his forehead and sighed. “ . . . Okay. Say your piece.” He sat back down and loosened his tie taking in a deep breath.
Discord smiled. “Good!” He jumped up back out of the seat and floated in the air, returning to his former gusto. “Now, the events on Friday, the night of the Fall Formal, were only given to you as half the story. Sunset Shimmer did not intend to blow up that portion of the school. She only wanted to steal the Element of Harmony, a magical artifact embedded within the crown of another girl at the scene. She did obtain the element, but upon placing it on her head, it corrupted her. The being that destroyed the school was one created from Sunset’s darkest emotions and feelings that overtook her body, not the girl herself.
“I understand this is hard to believe, considering you only know Sunset from this side of the world,” he continued. “The truth is that there is a whole other half of Sunset’s life in a world parallel to this one. If you were all shown that side of her history, you would see that Sunset’s bullying and eventual destruction were formed not out of evil intentions, but out of insecurity, loneliness, and anxiety. Thus, the punishment of expulsion will only serve to harm Sunset’s mental wellbeing. The logical solution is to allow her to continue school and make friends, albeit while under monitoring and constant therapeutic visits.”
Discord finished and took a bow, accompanied by the sound of applause which seemed to be projected out of the walls, table, and chairs. The people sitting in the chairs, however, only watched him silently.
He glanced back up at them, a small smile on his face. “Well? How’s that for some unbeatable logic?”
Granny Smith snorted. “I think we’re still wrapping our head around the whole ‘magic’ thing.”
“Oh come on,” Discord groaned. “Am I not proof enough of magic?” He flashed a tophat onto his head and, upon removing it, pulled a rabbit out from inside. The rabbit angrily raised a fist at Discord before jumping back into the hat. “See? Could someone do that without magic?”
“You could be an illusion,” Blueblood said. “I’m probably passed out on the floor of exhaustion right now. It’s been a long week, after all.”
“Humor me, then,” said Discord. “If this is all a dream, it shouldn’t matter at all what we decide.”
“Very well then,” said Fancy Pants. “I’ll humor you. Supposing that this magic is real, I still do not believe that your argument is enough to absolve Sunset of punishment. She still caused a significant amount of property damage and, as far as my understanding reaches, she of all people was especially aware of the dangers that using this ‘magic’ could bring.”
“Yeah,” said Shining, “And she didn’t try to defend herself in the trial at all. She had no witnesses to support her, and basically claimed full responsibility. Why should we trust you over her? It seemed like she wanted to be expelled.”
“Magic or not, she still violated school policy,” added Filthy Rich. “We keep the policy broad for a reason. Magic is no excuse here.”
“That’s just how it is,'' said Granny Smith. “Unless you can show us proof she had a bad past, then as far as we’re concerned, she’s been lyin’ and cheatin’ her whole life.”
Discord smirked. “Why, I can actually do just that.”
“Oh, sure,” Blueblood said dryly. “I’m calling your bluff. What, are you going to teleport in her diary or something?”
Discord smirked. “I can do better than that. We’re going to take a little trip.” He snapped his fingers and placed a seatbelt on the chair of each member, tightening it snugly up against their waists. “Buckle up—I’ve been told that this is quite the bumpy ride.”
And with a snap of his fingers, the world washed away.