//------------------------------//
// THE NINETH CHAPTER 
// Story: I'M STAR SWIRL THE FRIGGIN' BEARDED 
// by Gravestone 
//------------------------------//

Oh dear god or whatever deity that existed here the horror, the horror!

Do any of you know what happens to a pregnant woman or mare whatever you want to call them, two things happen first their hormones are off the charts their either happy and horny or PYSCHO and the second thing is you lose the right to use your bathroom, in fact, any bathroom you’re near. All because some small thing inside them is pressing down on their bladders. Oh, don’t let me forget to mention the gas, yes gas, I think it’s from all the weird stuff they keep eating. Who in their right mind would put catsup on vanilla ice cream with brussels sprouts or broccoli? I’m surprised with all the gas escaping, there were no explosions near any torches when they walked by them. I tried to recommend that the guards start wearing gas masks or hazmat suits but four hooves to the back of the head, shot down that idea.

So here I am with an oversized clothespin on my nose as I sit in the throne room with my four beautiful, sexy, buckable pregnant wives as they each lean over to the side and let one rip. The reason I am here and not in my room anymore is as of now I am not allowed to go anywhere or do anything without adult supervision. 
It's not my fault that those four don’t see the prospects of innovation! 
I mean it was just a small explosion and nopony got hurt much, ok maybe some scrapes and bruises there might have been a few ruptured eardrums and maybe just maybe an old pony might have had a heart attack but it was a small one and he’s fine now though every time there a loud noise he flitches or dives under something. 

Let me explain what happened it was three days ago and I was sent to my room again but I got out of it by saying that I had an idea that could help Equestria in a monumental way. This got them interested and they allowed me some room to work but I had to promise not to kill any nobles or at least not get caught. So with my freedom, I went to find some gullible, I mean smart ponies to help me make HISTORY! 

“Um, sir what are we going to do again, and more importantly do the princess know?” One guy asked as we made our way to a big room full of ingredients.

“Of course my minions otherwise I would be in my room again,”

“But sir you didn’t tell us what we’re doing,” Minion number two asked.

“We are going to revolutionize Equestria, doesn’t that sound fun?” I say with a maniacal laugh.

I think the laugh got to them because they started to back away slowly but with some uni magic, I just lifted the four of them in the air to follow me.

Now, first minions, we need 75% potassium nitrate known as saltpeter or saltpetre 15% softwood charcoal, and 10% sulfur then we need glycerol treated with nitric and sulphuric acid after that we take and mix it all together with sawdust and stuff it in some red tubes mark TNT and then we will create blasting caps with wicks and Voila revolutionary Equestria,” I said skipping over a few things due to it being illegal for the public namely you readers.

“Um, sir, may I ask what this all will do when we complete it?” Minion number three asked, man I should learn their names.

“It will blow your mind, among other things, but your mind nonetheless,”

So for the next few days I and my minions, man I really need to learn their names someday. Began our work it took some failers but in the end, we had done it, We had given Dynamite to ponies and after some time to think about what I just did it was kind of like giving a child the nuclear launch codes. Eh, who cares this is going to be fun, or it would have been if not for one of my loyal minions to stab me in the back and tell the womenfolk. 

“Alex for the love of all please tell us why, why would you make something like this?” Celly the party pooper asked pointing to twenty large boxes all mark TNT danger highly explosive.

“Well it would have been a surprise, but somepony lost his nutsack and squealed,” I said looking at my former minion number three.

“You call something that can destroy the castle and cause an untold number of deaths a surprise?” Luna asked as she had a hoof to her face.

“No, of course not, I was going to let the dragons drop a few crates on the Caribou capital city and after the untold number of deaths then I was going to say surprise,” I told her matter of factly.

Without a word, the four of them turned and walked away but not before four different color magics surrounded me lifting me off the ground and pulling me behind them. Once we were in the throne room I was dropped into my seat and told to stay before they took their own and resumed court. I felt like I was cheated and made my complaints heard loudly and with as much swearing as this world would let me. Only to be met with the ungodly sounds of flatulence thus why I am wearing the clothespin. During this, I just sat there and pondered was it all worth it the pain, and anguish of all those Noballs to become the king of annoyance? then I look at my four wives pregnant beautiful sexy and did I say sexy wives that love me even with the hell I put them through and the answer is that they are completely insane to be with me but dam it’s worth it, now all I need is to get my hooves on that pink plot of Cadance to complete my set maybe I use that gender spell on rusty aluminum after all the more the MAREier it is.

“Alex what are you thinking about now,” Crissy asked feeling my emotions.

“Oh, just how horrible my life would be without all of you in it,” I answered only to read Crissy’s lips saying “I’ll help you”.