The Apple family kitchen slash dining room was stacked floor to ceiling with pastries, sandwiches, pies, and tarts, each balanced delicately on a single plate, as though a toothpick were holding them all together.
At the table, a certain colorful pegasus with a very round belly laid back, looking ill, as a freckly orange earth pony dashed wildly around, seizing fresh foods, setting them on the table, and sticking something else in the oven or on the stove as though going for a record in something obscene.
"Applejack, come on, it's fine! It was -- beeelch -- it was ages ago..!" Rainbow Dash objected, waving her wings around wildly.
"It weren't neither!" Applejack insisted, setting down another stack of pancakes, covered in butter and syrup. "It were hardly a week or two ago..!" She wringed her hooves. "I don't know how you git out th' hospital so dang quick ev'ry time but it's th' least I can do ta make sure yer eatin' good so yer back up ta 100%."
Dash was heavily torn between refusing to take advantage of a best friend's lingering guilt, and devouring the heck out of as many anythings as Applejack threw at her. To hell with decency, her intestines right now, and sometime in the next fifteen minutes, the outhouse she helped build. "I startled you 'n' made you hit your head, though," she reasoned, "You yelped real bad and I was sure you were bleeding."
"Ain't in th' hospital, am I?" Applejack retorted, adding olive oil to another stovetop dish. "Yer tendency ta make real sudden arrivals on th farm're only gonna cost ya a pancake or two. I hardly got any brains anyhow, what's a few more concussions matter," she grinned.
"Applejack, please," Dash fretted, "I forgave you right there in the hospital. Did Rarity make you into her personal attendant way back when you -- what was it she told me -- 'broke her in half'?"
Applejack paused while balancing a tray of glazed pastries and stared evenly at her.
"... she didn't really do that, did she?" Dash tilted her head back and raised an eyebrow.
"Well, no," Applejack laughed, now back to running back and forth. "But I did all them favors fer her fer 'bout a week 'n' I could tell she was a mite uncomfortable, but she let me go about it."
"Why?" Dash furrowed her brows. "I know you two were fillies, but she couldn't have been that callous."
"Just th' opposite, we both felt plumb horrible, 'n' she knew if I was focusin' on her it'd help me with..." Applejack paused, setting down a bowl of mashed potatoes and turning from the table to clear her throat awkwardly. "Y'know, uh, why I clobbered 'er. Right?"
"No," Rainbow Dash shook her head, blinking cluelessly. "I moved to Ponyville while she was still in the hospital. All she told me was not to mess with you, you'd break me in half."
"So it's her fault you was always messin' with me," Applejack huffed. "Shoulda known. Anyhow, she didn't realize a certain somethin' happened what can usually only happen once," Applejack hinted with a grimace.
Rainbow Dash kept staring.
"Talked bad about some ponies who she didn't realize weren't 'round ta hear it..."
"... Oh!" Rainbow Dash blanched, both hooves to her face. "Oh geez! She's lucky to be alive!"
Applejack laughed. "That she is," she agreed, then sighed. "I'm sorry, I just..." She bashfully looked away. "There ain't really much I can offer ya in apology other'n' food, I know ya love you some food..."
"Your cooking is tip-top," Dash conceded. "But there's one way to make me refuse food from you or Pinkie."
"Wut's that," Applejack deadpanned, scrunching her mouth up to the side, brows low in doubt.
Dash drew herself up and closed her eyes primly, raising her chin. "If each bite I take is a bite out of your heart," she delivered with a posh accent, raising a wing to her chest. Her eyes went wide as a perfectly-timed pfffffttt escaped her other end.
The two of them guffawed. "Aw, you charmer," Applejack mocked. "Fine, fine, you win. Even th' great Rainbow Dash can overeat, anyhow... Don't worry, us Apples'll tear through all this quick as Apple Bloom swipin' a cookie."
"Awesome, your sister's pretty good at that," Rainbow Dash nodded. "Speaking of which, can I finally tell you why I came here?"
"Huh?" Applejack blinked, lost. "Ya mean I didn't ask? ... aw shucks, I musta got carried away..."
"Ya think?!" Rainbow Dash swept her hoof at the encompassing buffet around them and belched again.
Aaaaah, that's better. I helped build the outhouse and now I've helped destroy it.
Rainbow Dash walked lightly up the wooden steps and suffered a dizzy spell, instinctively dropping to lower her center of mass. "W-whoa," she urped, feeling sick. "Wiggly stairs? Not good, I just ate..." She clambered to the top of the stairs and found that area much sturdier. "Phew..."
Turning to the clubhouse front door, she knocked gently. "Apple Bloom?" she called. "You okay in there?"
"Mm," came the bored response. "Come on in."
Rainbow Dash opened the door.
Apple Bloom was laying like a pondering cat in the center of the clubhouse looking bored out of her mind, circling a hoof around in the rug.
"I think your stairs are loose," Rainbow Dash warned her. "Might wanna check the whole clubhouse, in fact."
"Did ya git dizzy goin' up 'em too?" Bloom asked, looking up with a grimace.
"Yep."
"Mm, I'll take a look at all th' nails 'n' stuff later," Bloom sighed, turning her attention back to the floor and pouting again.
"What's wrong?" Dash tilted her head.
Bloom sighed at the rug. "One of the Trinity is bound."
"What?" Dash wrinkled her nose. "The heck does --"
"You just took Scoots home fer stealin'," Bloom droned listlessly. "So I reckon she'll be grounded fer who knows how long. She'll git a cutie mark fer bein' in prison. Sweetie 'n' me, we're off th' hook, but we got nothin' ta do."
"Look, I'm the Hero of Loyalty, I know how it is." Dash sympathized, dropping down next to her. "But don't you think you're a little too reliant on your friends being around to... uh... have basic passion for life?"
"We all of us're in a constant downward spiral, Rainbow Dash," Bloom pontificated. "All awaitin' th' moment of our doom, for its harbinger comes slow on tireless wings. Fear 'im not fer he don't bring death, he just attends it, but all th' same it will come. We are all alone in th' end."
"Uh, how old are you, again?"
"There's nothin' sadder 'n' a young pessimist," Bloom sighed.
"Okay, look," Rainbow Dash facehoofed, struggling to get to the point. "Can you tell me what you saw?"
"Saw where."
"When Scootaloo seemingly stole this necklace. Or, I guess, the whole time you were with her today up to when she may or may not have swiped it."
"Oh... okay..." Bloom acquiesced. "If ya reeeeaaaally want ta hear it..."
"I really want to hear it."
Apple Bloom yawned. "I mean if ya reaaaaallly..."
"I really-really-really wanna hear it."
Bloom scowled. "Y' sure drive a hard bargain." She sighed for five seconds. "Scoots was right there at Sweet Apple Acres fer th' sun even come up. She was all eager ta go out, we'd just served our penance after gettin' in trouble 'n' were just havin' us another day together."
"Penance?"
"It's neither here nor there," Bloom pouted, "Pry not inta th' sins of our pasts." She cleared her throat indignantly. "We picked up Sweetie 'bout a frog's hop after sun-up 'n' went fer lunch at that new place, th' Buncha Fruitastica. I had me a fruit salad. 'course it had apples in it, these dumb Apple family hips o' mine darn near got themselves a whiskin' already, I weren't in no hurry ta git in trouble aginn."
"... You're paying penance for your hips?" Dash tilted her head with an eyebrow raised.
"Same as Miss Twilight is..."
"Oh." Dash nodded at once with a wrinkled nose. "I understand now."
"So Sweetie Belle," Bloom returned to the topic, "She had 'er hair up that day, was walkin' funny with real tall steps, like when ya put socks on a cat, 'n' she kept askin' us ta go down ta th' market so's she could git some soap 'n' shampoo 'n' such. Now I tole her, I said, "Sweetie Belle yer always clean 'nough ta eat offa", 'n' she found that incredibly gross ta say fer some reason, I mean it ain't like I was gonna do that, it's just true, she's jes' that darn clean, just about all th' time."
"Like Rarity," Dash nodded. "I wouldn't eat anything off of Rarity either. She might get the wrong idea."
"Miss Rarity's real smart but she seems ta git a lot of wrong ideas." Bloom critiqued.
"Yup."
"So after some arguin'," Bloom yawned again, "We decided alright fine, we'd head down ta th' market, and ol' Diamond Tiara helped herself to an hour of our lives like some kinda time vampire. Weren't no hittin', but Scoots did some yellin'. Ya know she has a funny accent when she gits mad?"
"You have a funny accent most of the time," Dash retorted.
"Oh, okay, kick a filly whilst she's down..." Bloom enunciated. "Whatever. So's we came inta th' market, real crowded, too, I don't remember everypony there... 'cept Rumble. Erry time Rumble sees me he gives me a hassle 'bout my b... uh, he gives me a hassle."
"He's part of the penance for the hips."
"That must be it!" Bloom did a little stomp without getting up. "I got a mind ta sue that jerk fer emotional distress... Anyhoo, th' whole day up ta now Scootaloo was right there with us sure as a snake hisses, heck she stepped on my hooves once or twice. Sweetie got 'er fancy soaps 'n' then we stopped by Miss Bon Bon with our few extra bits, 'n' we were just walkin' off when there were this awful commotion. And afore I got my wits about me, you came walkin' outta th' spa, 'n' well, y' know just so much as me after that."
Rainbow Dash thought it over. She had a hoof on her chin and may have been croaking her throat as if she was puffing a pipe like Rainbow Smart. "So... Scootaloo was right there with you from the morning right up until the commotion?"
"Yep," Apple Bloom nodded.
"And she wasn't carrying a necklace all that time?"
"No way," Bloom scoffed. "Nowhere she coulda kept that without tons o' ponies noticin'. Not unless she shoved it where angels fear ta tread--"
"Ey-ey-ey," Rainbow Dash waved with one hoof and both wings, "You need to quit this 'prison' mindset, Apple Bloom."
"Life already is a prison," Apple Bloom dropped her face onto the rug.
"Uh, yeah, sure," Dash blinked. "Thanks for talking. There's tons of food ready in the house if you're hungry."
"Ah, I see you too're a victim of Applejack's Guilty Grill..." Bloom waved goodbye with her face still against the rug as Dash left the clubhouse.
Rainbow Dash urped and dropped her body low again going down the slightly-unsteady stairs. "Next time," she mumbled to herself, "I need to only put myself halfway in the hospital so Applejack only makes me eat half as much..."