//------------------------------// // Chapter 33: Placement Tests, Round 2 // Story: Harry Potter and the Prancing of Ponies // by The Guy Who Writes //------------------------------// It was Sunday, three weeks after Hearth's Warming, their final lesson before school would begin. Silver knew they'd be covering something significant when they didn't immediately start on a spell or potion. "Your next lesson will take a few weeks to complete," said Professor Tome. "After you pass it, you will implement the virtue of Hufflepuff." "You care about loyalty?" Memory asked, only to shudder at Mr. Tome's severe look. "Why the focus on hard work?" asked Silver, who had noticed how Professor Tome said virtue, not virtues. "I do not know when we will escape," the thestral cautioned, "but I suspect it shall be soon, if it is possible in the first place. Within the year. At the very least, I should have the mirror found by then, assuming it exists within this country's borders. Even on the assumption it takes longer, accumulating power before our return is the sensible thing to do. At your age, that means industriousness. It would not do for that progress to go to waste, so you shall both become human animagi." There was a pause. "What?" asked Memory. "It's possible?" asked Silver. Riddle Tome's form blurred. For the first time in half a year, Silver's eyes beheld a human. "It is," said Tom Riddle. Silver stared. He hadn't been expecting that. Even though he was the one who thought of it, he hadn't expected success. And the thought occurred to him that maybe it wouldn't have worked if they weren't trapped in a wish-granting device of possibly unlimited power. The thought also occurred to him that, yes, they were currently speaking English. The mirror was not changing their brains to automatically understand some foreign language. "Um..." said Hermione. "Why don't you look anything like you used to?" "My previously-occupied human form was on the verge of death, so I did not use blood from that body in my testing." The part of Silver's brain that paid attention to exact wordings noticed how that statement was technically true. "What testing?" he asked. "And why did you need human blood?" "Ms. Sunshine," said Riddle Tome, thestral once more. "Describe the animagus potion's key ingredient for Mr. Silver's benefit." "Every animagus potion contains a different core component," Memory recited from memory, "a piece of material from the target form. You need a fang to become a snake, a whisker to become a cat, a carapace to become a beetle. Over fifty known versions of the potion have been developed over the centuries, each with different stirring instructions, different supplementary ingredients, and different difficulty levels." "Correct," said Professor Tome, who adopted a well-worn lecturing pose. "With very few exceptions, failure in the field of potions-making means disastrous consequences. The animagus potion is one of those exceptions. Mr. Silver would use the term 'fail safe'. It is more open to experimentation than other concoctions. Unless, of course, you wish to have the form of a magical creature. Those animagus potions have universally resulted in disaster. That does not preclude their possibility, mind you. An insanely lucky wizard who does not fear death might one day become a successful dragon animagus, or a successful basilisk animagus. If they get the potion right on their first try. But I digress. Through methods that neither of you would call evil, I have attained an unlimited amount of human blood, which allowed me to dabble until the recipe became viable. For whatever reason, the potion remained fail safe, not fail-deadly, despite the fact that wizards are technically magical creatures." Well, that last part definitely supports the mirror-wills-it hypothesis. "I can guess how you turned a finite supply into an infinite supply," said Silver, "but where did you even get human blood in the first place?" "From a vial that was on my person at the time we were trapped," explained the thestral. "I had previously enchanted them with spells of protection and perfect preservation. Those charms, or luck, or mirror fiat prevented it from changing into pony blood. I likewise have the blood of you, Ms. Memory, Mr. Dragon, Mr. Chaos Hufflepuff, and a few others." "Okay, that's definitely evil," said Memory. "Not all uses of blood are evil, Ms. Memory," Professor Tome drawled flatly. "This use, for instance. And your own resurrection. And many aspects of magical healing. Are you not glad I took the liberty of extracting it when I could? Now you shall get your human form back earlier than your release. And on the off chance the mirror does not revert us when we return, we shall already be prepared." The rest of the lesson involved rehearsing the animagus potion recipe, over and over, interspersed with spell practice. They would be getting it right on the first try. They would not be wasting time. Mr. Tome would make sure of that. At the end, after Memory had left, Mr. Tome said, "I have devised a way for you to attain true battle practice, but there is still the obstacle of advertisement. You shall soon attend the most prestigious primary school for unicorns, correct?" Three ponies walked into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. "Hello? I'm Twilight Sparkle. I'm looking for the room hosting the entrance exam?" They did not attract any stares. "Really? I thought the room would have changed by now." All three of those ponies looked like ordinary unicorns. "Thank you! Follow me, I know the way by heart." Sure, two of those unicorns were wearing cloaks that covered their backs. "Remember, don't be nervous and it'll be a-okay. Okay?" But the material was too thin and flat to possibly conceal wings. "Good luck!" That was, hopefully, how it would look to everypony else. "Silver Life?" asked the teacher. "Memory Sunshine?" He may have changed his name too. Wouldn't want to arouse suspicion that way either. The name 'Silver Wing' was beginning to make the rounds across Equestria as one that belongs to a pegasus colt doing notable things in Cloudsdale. Not to mention it didn't fit a unicorn. Only the ponies in Ponyville knew about his alicorn status so far. His status. Not Memory's. Hers was entirely unknown. He would have kept his own status a complete secret too if he could have. But that surprise party had... well, surprised him. Caught him off-guard. Combine that with the Element of Honesty, and it was a hard trap to avoid. Not that he was thinking clearly at the time. Once he did start thinking clearly, he reminded himself that Ponyville is a small town. Gossip from a single small town in Equestria probably wouldn't convince anypony. Even if that town did house the Elements of Harmony, it would just be seen as a crazy rumour like everything else. He had guessed that nopony outside the town would suspect him, and his guess was turning out to be correct. "Yup, those're our names," said Silver Life, a 'unicorn' who was applying to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns right alongside Memory Sunshine, another 'unicorn' applicant. "Is this where we take our exam?" He glanced around the room. There were no dragon eggs in sight. "It is." Once again, Silver was about to join an Equestrian school in the middle of its academic year (Canterlot school years start early fall and end early summer, Cloudsdale school years start early spring and end early winter), but he wouldn't be alone this time. "Just to be clear," Silver asked, "since we already got our admittance letters, this is so you know where to put us, right?" "Ah..." said the proctor hesitantly. "I'm afraid I cannot answer that question. I must warn you that applicants who do too poorly are not allowed to learn here. We only teach the best in this school." "Got it," said Silver. He leaned over and whispered "we aren't applicants" to Memory, who nodded. The test: levitate objects in various ways. Their results: lack luster. They couldn't write clearly with a levitated quill just yet. They couldn't levitate multiple objects at once. They couldn't turn the pages of a book. The heaviest object they could lift was a thirty-pound weight. (Pounds, not kilograms. Ugh.) They couldn't move objects very quickly. And so on and so forth. It's not their fault they've only had horns for a few weeks. Though Memory was distraught at her poor performance, Silver forced himself not to fret. He couldn't imagine Celestia inviting them to study, only to allow a random proctor to fail them before they even began. After magic, they were sent off to the academic portions of their "entrance exams" (i.e. their placement tests). Unlike Cloudsdale High/Elementary, this school prioritises Reading as the most important academic subject, followed by Math, Science, and Social Studies. Silver's past experience gave him the wherewithal to ask if there were such things as anti-cheating charms, and if they could be put in place beforehand. The teachers had complied with surprising rapidity. It was, in retrospect, probably a common spell that unicorn schools used all the time. Hermione had given him a hurt look, like she thought he was asking because he didn't want her cheating off of him, and he hadn't had time to explain himself before the first test began. Thankfully the results and the ensuing argument explained it for him. "But you cast anti-cheating charms at the start," Silver argued. "We couldn't have cheated." Once again, a superintendent was called. This one didn't seem as open-minded as Flight Formation. "If the tests were so easy," said a blue stallion the teacher had called Night Light, "they should be easy to replicate." Memory bumped her shoulder into his. Silver, who had been offended on her behalf up until that point, snapped his mouth shut. It's strange how it can be more emotionally intense when defending others than when you defend yourself. "Fine," Silver said. "We'll re-take this one. But only this one. If we do well on Math and Science, we're not re-taking those." "Oh, I'll be overseeing those tests personally," said Night Light. "There shall be little doubt about your true abilities when you take them." And there weren't. No doubts whatsoever. "Are we still going to re-take the Reading exam?" Silver asked before leaving for Social Studies. "Yes." "You still don't think we passed it on merit?" "I think it doesn't hurt to be sure," Night Light said crisply. Silver's eyes narrowed. "On that note, are we going to take Reading class at all? If the score proves true, I mean. And what about Math and Science? I'd rather not be bored out of my mind for... how long does each class last? Fifty minutes? If so, I'd rather not waste two and a half hours each day. And yes, we're willing to study elsewhere over this issue. We're only here to humor Celestia. She gave us acceptance letters as Hearth's Warming gifts and we thought 'why not?'." He'd spent his Science exam thinking of multiple angles to attack this problem. He didn't want to take pointless classes for half of the school day. He could barely tolerate Social Studies at Cloudsdale. And he didn't want Memory wasting her time either. But Night Light didn't seem as open as Flight Formation to the idea of letting a colt decide what's best for himself. "Most ponies are not given the opportunity to study here, young colt. It is not turned down lightly. You will find no better school on magic in the country." "Except Canterlot University," countered Silver. "And given what my mentor says about that school, I'm not sure if I want to go there either. I don't care HOW good your magic courses are if the overall experience is negative." "Canterlot University does not accept colts, and if you do not learn magic from this school, you are unlikely to get in." "Ah, right. The whole 'let's find a reasonable way to discriminate against non-unicorns' application process. I'm not all that worried. Professor Book got in and he never studied here." Something flickered in Night Light's eyes. "Professor Book?" "Mystery Book," Silver clarified. "Now Riddle Tome. You know, inventor of paper airplanes, inventor of an unknown teleportation enchantment, inventor of memory-sharing, and inventor of a whole bunch of other things that he's keeping to himself for now." Those three feats were a matter of public record and a juicy part of the rumour grapevine in Canterlot and things that Mr. Tome wanted to proliferate. "Also, he's the current Court Scholar," Silver added. "So I'd say it's not the worst thing in the world if I find the best ways to educate myself. If you can't prove your school is better than my mentor, I'll just learn from him instead. Or maybe ask Celestia for tutors." When Night Light replied, his tone was no longer that of a self-assured adult authority figure. He now spoke with something like apprehension. "He's your mentor?" "Yup," said Silver. "He's not mine," said Memory, who had been silent this entire time. "But he is teaching you," Silver pointed out. "That makes him my tutor, not my mentor." "What's the difference?" "A mentor is someone you want to be like," said Memory. "A tutor is just someone who teaches you one-on-one." "Hmm... yeah, okay." Silver turned back to Night Light. "Yes, he's my mentor, her tutor. I take it you've heard of him?" "My wife has dealt with him," said Night Light. "By her accounts, he is the single most unpleasant pony she has ever met." "Sounds about right," said Silver, and Memory nodded. "But he's also the single most competent pony I've ever met. You learn to take the bad with the good. So, back to the question at hand. Are we going to sit in classes we don't need to take or not? My last school gave me independent study during Math, Science, and Reading-" "This is not your old school." "Correct. It's Princess Celestia's school. For gifted unicorns. But if it's not up to my standards, I'll thank her for the invite and tell her why I declined." There was a long pause. When you veiled your threats and wanted to maintain plausible deniability that you weren't making them in the first place, the important thing was to keep it all as subtle as possible. In this case, he hadn't said what he'd tell Celestia, just that he could and would tell her his reasons for not attending her school. If he didn't end up attending. The superintendent had no reason to see that as a threat if he truly believed his school was as good as he claimed. "What I meant," said Night Light, "was that we allow students to jump ahead to higher grades in individual subjects. If those students can handle those higher levels." "Perfect!" said Silver. "That's even better than independent study. Assuming the teachers are up to snuff, of course. I trust there won't be anypony dumb enough to order a non-unicorn to cast a spell, or something equally absurd. This institution is way too prestigious for that, right? And if it did happen..." he trailed off suggestively. There was another pause. "If something like that were to happen," said Night Light, voice carefully controlled, "the situation would be given the utmost care and scrutiny." "As opposed to being brushed under the rug," Silver nodded. "And needing to be resolved in the royal court. Or by the media and public opinion. Or both. I'm glad this school knows how to learn from the mistakes of others. Maybe we will attend after all." "I feel like I should have scolded you Mr. Silver," said Memory. "I'm surprised you didn't," said Silver. "Were you just being polite?" "I suppose I understand where you're coming from more than I used to." "You mean after a hundred points were taken away in the great hall and you stopped relying on authority as much? Or after you... um... lost, in that final battle?" "I mean," said Memory, "that my mysterious young wizard will say what he has to say to prepare his heroic young witch so she doesn't lose any final battles in the first place." When their Social Studies exam ended and school let out, Silver took some time to search for alternatives, looking for a way to practice battle magic in a relatively pacifist pony society when it isn't taught in normal classes, and when mock battles can't happen daily. There is a dueling club, which is basically what he was expecting, but to quote the Defense Professor, dueling is a sport, not a branch of battle magic. Still, the club was currently in session and it was worth checking out, so check it out they did. After five minutes of watching duels, Silver decided that (a) the club wouldn't be nearly as good as the battles had been, but (b) it would be better than nothing and (c) it would be the perfect opportunity to contribute to a certain plot. So he and Memory asked if they could join. They were each given a list of rules, a matching pair of documents to be filled/signed by their guardian, and a warning that dueling isn't for everypony. Silver had replied that dueling isn't much compared to what they'd already learned how to do. The teacher responsible for overseeing the dueling club voiced his skepticism by asking what they had learned how to do. Silver and Memory declared in unison that they'd learned how to fight. The teacher asked after the difference. "Dueling is a sport," said Silver. "Or maybe an art form. Fights aren't. I don't think I could win a duel with most ponies in this room, but I'd probably win a fight." The teacher still didn't understand. He also said with certainty that Silver was mistaken. "I could prove it," said Silver. "If you'd like." The self-assured stallion told him to go ahead. "Suppose I wanted to duel a powerful opponent. I'd lose, hands down. But suppose I wanted to fight a powerful opponent. Like, I don't know, him." Silver pointed his hoof at what seemed to be one of the club's best duelers, who hadn't lost yet, who had snorted when Silver said he could beat anypony in a fight, and who was looking at the new applicants with predatory anticipation. That is, until Silver pointed at him, at which point the skilled dueler was covered in blueberry and whipped cream. "I'd do it like that. Except I would have used a stunner instead of a pie, and if I was fighting a war, I'd use something permanent so he couldn't get back up. Point is, fights are decided by surprise." And the teacher was suddenly covered in cherry. "Like that. And then I'd leave, because guerilla warfare is effective." Before anypony could raise a fuss or complain, he teleported himself and Memory back to the library. "Okay, now I'm going to say something. You shouldn't have done that, Silver. I don't think we'll be allowed into the club anymore." "That's sort of the point," said Silver. "Mr. Tome is going to start an actual fight club soon, but he needs advertisement. If I get rejected when I return to the dueling club, I'll just use that opportunity to tell the members where to go if they want to learn how to fight. And if I get accepted, dueling club might be mildly helpful. It's not like our schedules will conflict with Mr. Tome's mock battles. He intends to host them on the weekends, not long after each tutoring session. Though if you really want to join dueling club anyway, you can just disavow me. The teacher will probably let you join even if he bans me. We should turn in these permission slips separately when we get to that point. Now," Silver grinned. "The question is, do you want to throw the pies, or should I go and do it myself?" Aftermath: Admittance Letter Dear Twilight Sparkle, These are the test results and school schedules of Silver Life and Memory Sunshine. Please ensure that all contents are read thoroughly, and take careful note of the list of school supplies that... ... Sincerely, Superintendent Night Light P.S. Twilight, you never mentioned you had unicorn wards too. Is Silver Life related to this Silver Wing you've told us about? And Memory Sunshine too? Is the Princess having you take care of young colts and fillies as part of your friendship lessons?