//------------------------------// // Ch. 6 :: In Which Rainbow Dash Does A Petty Errand // Story: Rainbow Dash is Best Pony // by Tirimsil //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash groaned and opened her eyes. "I don't even know what a Carbuncle is," she grumbled, glaring up at the cliffside she'd just clumsily tumbled down. "But they better make me immortal and give me hips like Applejack's for all the pain in the butt they are to find." She sighed and got up, surprisingly unhurt. As she adjusted her saddlebags, an equine silhouette poked its head out over the lip of the cliff for a second, then ducked back out of sight. Even empty, saddlebags limited wing movements and altered sense of balance. That's the excuse Rainbow Dash was going with for how one of the best fliers in Equestria, able to go 0 to FAST in half a second from a midair standstill, somehow fell down a cliff. She grumbled and fluttered back into the air without thinking before realizing with a brief panic she had forgotten to check if her wings were okay. A few minutes later, as Rainbow Dash floated past a river, somebody stuck their head out of the water, staring after her as she passed. Somebody with long, wet navy blue hair, white highlights around the eyes like an orca, a cute little button nose, and a raindrop-shaped gem on the forehead. The mysterious creature's eyes, with their pale cyan sclera and big pupils, narrowed in worry. The big, fin-like ears drooped. Then the head ducked back down without a sound. The equine silhouette just behind skittered back behind the shrubbery a second later. "From how she described it, I'd guess it's some kind of gemstone," Rainbow Dash reasoned to herself. "Not like she'd accept anything else as part of her magnifique de opal or whatever she called it. Maybe I should be looking in a cave. Too bad Maud Pie isn't here, she'd know all about it." She sighed, then turned her head at a ruffle in the bushes nearby. She saw nothing but the shaking of leaves. "This place is creepy," she shuddered, looking back over her shoulder as she continued on. "For all I know, Carbuncles are some kind of pony-eating monster..." She jumped at a bleuuww! sound, like an alien laser gun, jerking her head back forward - then wailed, flailing helplessly in the air. "Hey! Relax!" a high-pitched voice demanded as tiny footsteps rapidly approached. Rainbow Dash opened her eyes gingerly and looked all around. She appeared to be suspended in some kind of giant pink bubble. Not seeing the source of the voice, she wriggled in the air to look down. Then she yelled again. "Please stop yelling," A foal-sized, fox-like creature was staring up at her with a little pout and huge eyes, blue all over, like sapphires (with no c.) She was pale white from head to toe, except for the gigantic cloud-like fluffs of pink hair assaulting her head. Huge, fluffy twintails competed with bangs split down the middle and tied into rings, much like Yona's tresses. It was this rather overdone hairstyle, and consequent giant fivehead, that had led Rainbow Dash to make her second exclamation. Dash had the urge to pet her floppy sheep-like ears. Rainbow Dash noticed the creature's fivehead was adorned with a pink gem in a gold frame, with a stem on the bottom - shaped like a spoon with an egg in it. "... Aw come on!" she realized. "Rarity's finally gone off the deep end!" "What're you talking about?" the creature blinked, then bounced on her paws. "Who ♪ are you ♫ 'n' what ♪ are you doing ♫ trolling around ♪ the forest?" she asked in a sing-song voice with a mildly dangerous undertone. "My name's Rainbow Dash and my job is getting myself in trouble," the captive mumbled honestly. "S-Sugarlite, are you okay?" The teal-eyed fish-thing Rainbow Dash had overlooked earlier stepped out next to her; despite the pretty face she could be quite sure that was a he. Other than the fin ears, the shark-like tail, the orca color of his smooth skin, and the raindrop framed in silver on the forehead, he resembled a fox or a cat, much like the smaller one. "You shouldn't have confronted her..." he fretted. "C'mon, she's tiny," Sugarlite rolled her eyes. "You're one to talk," Dash frumped. "Is she a hunter..?" another creature mumbled in a gentle voice. "She hasn't brought any weapons..." Her long hair and tail were green and leaf-like, and she had a teardrop-shaped amber stuck on her head with a wood frame. Also, her eyes were golden, like they too were carved from amber, painted with rudimentary pupils, and shoved in her skull. Finally, she was very... Fluttershy-shaped. "U-uh," Rainbow Dash stammered, "W-would you folks happen to know what a Carbuncle is? I was, um, not informed of what that is when asked to uh, acquire a sample for a crafts project..." Rainbow Dash had to admit that such a mission was no longer sounding likely or ideal, as Carbuncles appeared to be magical fox things with superpowers, and she consequently heavily emphasized her ignorance, fearing she was about to get turned into a rug by a savage jungle tribe. "We're Carbuncles! I'm Sugarlite," the little one chirped in a sickeningly sweet tone, and gestured to her companions. " The pretty lady is Ambrulee." She said it Am-bru-lay. "And the cute stud over here is Aquameringue. They're a very lucky couple." Both companions blushed as Sugarlite continued. "Soooo, Miss Rainbow Dash, I don't suppose you were told to, I dunno..." Then she growled. "Rip off our cephaliths..." She raised a paw to gesture at the gemstone on her forehead as the others fidgeted uncomfortably. "What?!" Rainbow Dash cried. "Absolutely not! Um... I imagine that'd hurt?" "We'd die," Aquameringue explained timidly. "Mm-hmm!" Sugarlite grimaced. "Oh gosh!" Rainbow Dash blushed, feeling ill and ashamed. "N-no, I wasn't told about that..! I swear! I thought I was just gonna find a pretty rock in a cave or something! Ponies don't poach animals!" She swallowed. "Especially not magical animals with superpowers." Sugarlite gave a raspy sigh, her voice suddenly becoming a bit lower. "Y'know, it sounds like whoever sent you here doesn't know what a Carbuncle is either." "She probably definitely doesn't," Rainbow Dash concurred swiftly. "She doesn't know a lot of things, if we're being honest, here." Okay, a bit harsh, Rainbow Dash... No, screw you, other Rainbow Dash voice, I'm not getting eaten by someone who looks like Sweetie Belle lost a fight with a blowdryer. "Then we know exactly what you're here for~!" Sugarlite chirped, back to her former cheer. "C'mon, let's go find a pretty rock in a cave!" With a pop, Rainbow Dash fell to the ground with a yelp, muffled midway by her face being buried in the dirt. Sugarlite turned and began to skip lightly off. "Please forgive her, she's very impulsive," Ambrulee apologized, bowing her head. "She's more mature than she's acting right now," Aquameringue added. "Just like someone I know," Rainbow Dash mumbled into the earth. She peeled herself from the dirt and the three of them followed after the cotton candy creature. The equine silhouette frowned in the shadows behind them. "Hm-hm-hm ♪ Lookin' for pretty rocks ♫ La la la ♪" Sugarlite sang, off-key and without much coherent tune, hopping onto various logs and random stones and scouting around. Y'know, come to think of it, Dash grumped to herself. I'm not the one with the geo magic. Why'm I the one out here looking for rocks?! She frowned and considered. "I don't suppose there are any other Carbuncles around who, uh, have some kind of gem-finding powers?" "Oh, we don't need to bother that bimbo," Sugarlite waved her off. "She's usually down by the sea anyway." "We should probably be closer to the mountains," Aquameringue reasoned. "We might run into something out here--" The earth rumbled beneath them and Rainbow Dash instinctively took to the air. She twisted around to see three stumbling Carbuncles and a roc - not a rock, but a massive angry bird decked out in white and green, recovering from its heavy landing just a few yards behind them. "I should keep my mouth shut," Aquameringue sighed. That lasery bleuuww sound flew past Dash's ear as a stretched white ball hit the roc's face and popped. It leaned back like a limbo dancer, then straightened itself back out with a scowl, paused, and roared. Rainbow Dash had already dropped down and kicked off, cutting off the roar quickly as she rammed into the roc's throat, knocking it back hacking and coughing. As she bounced off and recovered, a blue bubble surrounded her with a bwooww. Hissing, she flailed for a second before realizing this one was not inhibiting her movement as the pink one did, and was much less opaque, as well. Looking back at the others, she saw Sugarlite dive into a log, while Aquameringue was surrounded in a similar bubble to her own and staring intently at the roc. Ambrulee was sighing and swishing her tail. Do they all make bubbles, Rainbow Dash wondered. Kind of lame... She turned her head back forward just in time for her face to have the honor of being the first part of her body struck by a massive wing - but the bubble surrounding her flashed as she was knocked whole-body back and recovered in the air, like a cosmic seatbelt had saved her from a carriage crash. Okay, not lame, she amended. This guy would be a big help in flight practice. The roc leapt towards her and began batting her around line a pinball. "Waah!| Rainbow Dash could even hear the dings and the little hi-score jingles. "StOop - tURn oFf - tHe bUbBlE ThInG!" The bubble vanished with a fsssh and Rainbow Dash whacked into a tree upside down, peeling down it with a sliding violin sound. Why do I have only the embarrassing sound effects, she complained. Why don't electric guitars play every time I show up and kick a dragon in the face. The roc tossed Ambrulee aside - she must have leapt at it to attack - and approached Rainbow Dash, who goggled up at its menacing lean over her. Haha, it's upside-down. She saw a viny tail slap! harshly between the roc's legs and it jerked, its eyes shrinking to pinpricks and its face turning blue. An equine silhouette rushed towards her with dainty hoofsteps tapping on glass, muttering something about a concussion. Huh? Dash considered. Did she just thwack that bird in the -- OH STARS. The roc fell forward onto her, but there was no impact. Everything was dark and quiet. "Rainbow Dash." came the unmistakable voice of the Night Princess from somewhere in the blackness. "Princess." Dash greeted casually. "Don't ask questions," Luna advised gently. "Take a nap." "Two of my rules in life." And Dash passed out again. Dash forced her eyes open and looked up at the sky through an opening in the cave ceiling. Or she thought that's what it was, as it stubbornly remained a bit blurry. Oh, I'm on my back, she fumed. How many times a month can one mare put herself in the hospital, I wonder. She experimentally moved her body parts and hissed when she stretched her wings a bit too far. "What happened," she asked, slowly and awkwardly sitting up, trying to avoid aggravating her wings further. "... Sugarlite?" She looked around the empty cavern as the fight with the roc began to flush out of the toilet of her brain. She winced. "Oooooh loons my wings hurt. Yep. Fell on my back. Dang it." She looked to her left and squinted at the blood-red gems sticking out of the wall, untouched by the rays from above. Rainbow Dash walked over, turned, then paused. She stretched the rest of her body and felt no agony. So she kicked a bit of the gem off the wall, picked it up by hoof, and moved back to the light. She winced and dropped it as it erupted into every color and nearly blinded her. Ugh! Is that how I look in the sun! With her eyes still closed, she felt around for it and stuffed it into a saddlebag, careful not to bump her wings. Ten minutes later... "Hyuuuck!" A full set of saddlebags came flying up out of the hole and landed at its top. Then Rainbow Dash, her wings still injured, clambered up the slow way and collapsed next to them. "Thanks," She frowned at the general environment. "Thanks for yet another injury that will catch up to me in ten or twenty years. Thanks for the weird dream that embarrassed me in front of Luna again. And I guess thanks for Rarity's stupid razzle-dazzle rocks." "You're welcome..." a distant bubbly voice sounded, maybe on the wind, maybe only in her mind. Rainbow Dash kicked the doors to the Carousel Boutique open and dropped her saddlebags onto the table, already covered in exotic fabrics, ingots of various metals, and phoenix feathers. "Rarity, you psycho!" Dash complained. "I coulda died!" "Whaaaat!" Rarity stopped pacing and fidgeting and called loudly. "I, can't, hear, you! I, can, only, hear, the, precipice, of, a, fashion, revolution! I, think, the, phoenix, feathers, and, whispering, demons, have, made, me, go, deaf, again! However, I, see, you've, brought, something, back!" She cantered to the table and opened the saddlebags, the gems floating out and shining in every color in the light. She gasped. "This, is, exactly, what, I, was, looking, for!" Rainbow Dash scowled and held up a hoof in just-a-moment pose, vanished in a puff of rainbow smoke, returned after a second or two with paper, a quill, and a pince-nez, and quickly wrote on the paper. "Ooooh! Writing, is, a, very, good, idea!" Rarity bellowed. Rainbow Dash set down the paper, gave a raspy sigh, and trotted up her stairs. Rarity blinked, then lifted up the paper and read the elegant and girlish mouthwriting. This stuff blinds you if it catches the sunlight. You could easily have found this crud yourself with your fancy geo magic but you might have died since you are not the amazing Rainbow Dash. I need to talk to Sweetie Belle in connection to an ongoing crime investigation. Stop yelling, go see Zecora. ~R.D. Rarity pouted at the letter, then shrugged. "I'll, see, Zecora, after, I, finish, my, magnum, opus," she muttered to herself very loudly. "And, Sweetie, better, not, be, getting, me, arrested, again!"