//------------------------------//
// Song of Return Part 3: Crash Courses 
// Story: Brony Recon: Ascension 
// by Freescript the Bard 
//------------------------------//

Skyblaze's POV

There's a difference between using trees to break your descent and trees breaking your descent. The former is a planned, coordinated maneuver that makes use of the natural give in tree branches to slow a vertical landing if you're coming in too hot to the landing zone. The latter is a misjudgment of the canopy density, and hurts a ton more.

"Oof! Ouch! Schist! Ow! AAAAAAAA-- Oof!" And it sounds a bit like that. Or at least, that's the sound I made when I crashed through the trees above where my family was camping. Getting to my hooves, I rubbed my sore head. "Ow…"

The fluttering of wings alerted me to Luna's approach. "Perhaps we should work on your landings back in Equestria," she chided. "I've noticed that you have a particularly poor record with them."

"You don't say…" I grumbled, folding my ruffled wings. Shaking off my daze from the crash, I peered around my landing site. Aside from the three humans around the campsite who stopped dead and was staring at Luna and I, it was a pretty nice campsite. Neatly wooded, a lot of room for the trailer camper, even ground… pretty sweet. Surprising lack of snow; probably the cause of warmer weather.

Luna and I greeted my mom, brother, and sister with an awkward wave. "Hey mom, long time, no see," I said, rubbing my neck. "Um… introductions! Luna, this is my family; my mom, brother, sister. Guys, this is Princess Luna of Equestria, immortal goddess of the night, and patron of the moon."

Luna bowed her head in greeting. "How do you do?"

"Quite well…" my mom responded. "If not a bit surprised. Uh… so this is what Markus has been doing for the past few months?"

"To be honest, we couldn't just tell you I was off to a perpendicular dimension as a completely different species. So no, I wasn't traveling on a grant with others."

The three humans just slumped, shell-shocked. "They took it rather well," Luna said to me. "I was expecting someone to faint at least--"

THUMP!

"Never mind," she corrected. My brother was slumped awkwardly in his lawn chair, looking as if he had fallen asleep.

>><<>><<

Storm's POV

"So who's the father?" My dad asked. It had taken nearly an hour for my dad to calm down. Despite his usual carefree attitude, he was still very protective of me. My mom, on the other hoof, had fainted as soon as she saw me, and was now sprawled across the sofa.

I shied away, scooting closer to Ben for support. "Caramel Apple," I answered. "He's a farmhand at Sweet Apple Acres and Applejack's cousin. Very sweet, but a total klutz. You would like him." It felt weird having a serious conversation with my mom unconscious in plain sight.

His gaze went from me to Ben. "So you're here because…?"

"I'm here to shadow Storm. Given her condition, Cereal tasked me with her care," Ben answered flatly. The college grad had experience with this kind of thing, so he appeared calm as a zen master. "I also have Dinky here for… therapeutic reasons. She has a very calming effect on ponies and people."

"Really?" asked the small filly next to me. "I calm ponies down? How?"

I smiled at her. "Honestly, who can look at that face and stay mad?" I said, nuzzling her forehead. I turned to my dad and wrapped a hoof around Dinky. "C'mon, dad. Look at this face. This adorable face."

Unfortunately, his expression remained bemused. "Shouldn't your mother be taking care of you while you're here?" he asked the filly. My dad knew his basic fanon, so he probably recognized Dinky as Derpy's daughter.

"Benny takes care of me," the filly answered. "He's dating my mommy, so he looks after me when mommy is out delivering mail."

Dad's face softened visibly. Yes… Dinky's effect was taking hold of him. No one can resist the filly's golden gaze. He turned back to Ben. "You're dating Ditzy Doo?"

All three of us facehoofed/facepalmed. "Her name is Derpy Hooves, and yes, I'm her coltfriend," grumbled Ben. "I'm usually a green earth pony with a white mane and a scroll for a cutie mark." As proof, he lifted his tee shirt sleeve to reveal his cutie mark on his shoulder. All bronies retained some of their pony features, like the eyes and cutie marks.

At this, my dad peeked at my own flank. "You don't have a cutie mark?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I guess I never found my special talent. My friend Rainchaser didn't have a cutie mark either when she was a pegasus." My dad, being as insensitive as he is, began to chuckle at this. "Hey, it's not funny! It's embarrassing!" I huffed, crossing my forelegs. In spite, I levitated my iced tea to me and took a drink to calm myself.

"If you say so…" he said, getting a hold on his laughter. "…blank flank."

Oh that is it! I slammed the bottle of caffeine-free tea back on the table and stormed off to my former room. It was bad enough that I was a blank flank in Equestria, being constantly reminded of it through the comments of bystanders. Now I can't even escape it on Earth. Slamming the door angrily, I flopped onto my bed and buried my face into my pillow. Stupid blank flank.

Lost in my aggravated thoughts, I didn't notice Ben come in until he put his hand on my shoulder. Like the other bronies, I considered him to be a brother. While Ben and I weren't as close as Shift was to me, he still cared about me. I sat up on my blanket and hugged him, reburying my muzzle into his shirt. He responded my putting his arm around my back comfortingly. It felt better having him there. Safer, away from the discriminating eyes and judgmental minds.

"Thanks, Ben," I whispered to my hypothetical brother. "I needed that."

"That's what big brothers are for, right?" he said, stroking the coat on my neck. It felt really good. Relaxing and comforting at the same time. His gentle touch soothed my original anger toward my father and the world. "I'm going to go back in there and talk to him. Would you like something? Maybe a snack or drink?"

I was about to shake my head 'no', but there was a twinge at the base of my tongue. Like I the desire for a certain taste. "Yeah… could you get me some pickles?"

>><<>><<

Shift's POV

"You're back early," noted Cereal as I buzzed into the warehouse as the sun set in the horizon. "A few DAYS early."

"Uh… my family meeting didn't exactly go over well…" I admitted reluctantly.

Lyra and Bon Bon, who were enjoying a salad dinner at a card table, looked over at my premature arrival. "What happened?" asked Lyra, shoveling another levitating forkful of salad in her mouth.

"Well… if you really want to know, my parents disowned me and my ten-year-old sister threw a pair of galoshes at my face," I reported rubbing the dent in my carapace. Everyone's jaws made with all haste to the floor. "So naturally, I came back to spend some time here."

Seth recovered first, blinking in sympathy from the picnic table he and Cereal were sitting at. "Sorry to hear that, bro," he said, beckoning. "Come on over. We were just about to play some cards. I can deal ya in."

I buzzed my insectile wings, floating over to the table and sitting to Cereal's left. Seth dealt five cards to each of us, which I levitated in front of me. I waited, trying to decipher what game I was about to own the two bronies at with my expert emotion-reading skills.

Seth organized his hand and glared at Cereal, an intense sense of indecision and challenge emitting from him. "Got any threes?"

It was the facehoof heard around the world.