At first, there was nothing. Whatever dreamscape she ended up in was completely empty. For the longest time, it was just barren white for Celestia knows how long. It could have been seconds, minutes, years. There was no way to tell. Occasional glimpses of the outside world, of what she would normally see through her eyes. Now, it was as if she was watching it through a screen.
Twilight stood in the middle of the great white expanse of infinite nothing. It wasn’t cold but it wasn’t warm either. It felt like what it looked like - nothing. She could have sworn she had some kind of control in the beginning, some kind of say in what would happen, but now she was detached from her body. Like when she went to watch those mini-films in the Canterlot theatre before the performance. Was she even real? Of course, she could touch herself, but there was nothing else she could try touching to confirm.
She was stepping on something, that was certain. If she wasn’t she would have been falling. But despite this knowledge, Twilight stepped down and her hoof stopped, although it felt like she was stepping on air. Her hoofstep echoed regardless, but she had no idea why it would make a noise if it seemed like she stepped on nothing. Maybe it was a force field, that had to be the only explanation.
But as quickly as she made that theory, she debunked it. Even though she couldn’t use her magic in whatever place between realities she was stuck in, any unicorn well-versed in magic could simply sense it. There was nothing to sense. No forcefield, no anything.
Twilight walked around, it was just about the only thing she could do. She tried flying once, but it seemed no magic existed in this realm, which meant no pegasus magic. The only thing keeping her aware of her body’s surroundings were the sounds of her friend’s voices breaking through. Wait, why do I hear my friends?
"Darling, we hate to see you like this.”
Twilight’s ears rang with the voice of her friend echoing through the endless expanse of white. The voice came from everywhere around her, filling her entire body with… with something.
"We're not sure what happened, but it could not have been good. Despite everything, we just hope you can hear us,” the voice continued. It was so loud that Twilight had to cover her ears with her wings, but even then, it did not grow any quieter. “I know you're there, Twilight."
There was blissful silence for a moment. The white void flickered. It did not dim, but rather made Twilight’s eyes burn for a moment before a different voice spoke up. "She's... Um… Rarity's right, you know. All we want is for you to come back," it went on. Twilight knew now that the first voice was Rarity. She felt as if she had always known, but somehow had just been finding out as well. This one had to be Fluttershy, then. There was no mistaking the softness of her voice. "And I know we're all more than willing to forgive you."
The endless room of nothingness boomed an inaudible noise that shook Twilight to her very core. She felt her very bones shake for a moment, and she knew she was going to hear another speech. Twilight could do nothing but stand with locked knees, trying and failing to find just where the voices came from. She remembered the screen-like imagery and turned to look at it. As she thought, she could barely make out the shapes of her friends. The colours stuck out from the white, and Twilight almost cried.
The screen centred on Applejack, and then split apart. Twilight gasped as six strips of what must have been her Once Vision surrounded her, each one focused on one of her friends. The ones who had spoken were in full, eye-straining colour, while the rest were greyed out. Applejack’s segment flashed bright orange, forcing Twilight to look at it. "Darn right we are. I just know it was an honest mistake, and you're not yourself right now. But the Twilight I know is still in there somewhere.”
Her voice sent something through Twilight’s entire being. Soon after, just as Twilight was able to focus on Applejack's smile, her legs buckled under her. Twilight fell to the ground like a foal, helpless and weeping nothing silently. A flash of blue next to her drew her blurry gaze over.
"And the Twilight I know is an egghead." Rainbow Dash’s grin was all Twilight could see, so she closed her eyes, but the image remained burned in her mind. "But she's also the greatest friend anypony could have. Other than me of course."
She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve this. Twilight fell further into the ground. The white seeped over her fur like glue as she hid under her front hooves. The tears became the very void that slowly ate her up. Pink flashed against her closed eyelids, and no matter what Twilight did, nothing she did could drown it out. Not even screaming.
“And we are so so fortunate to call you our friend. You really changed our lives for the better! I mean, look at us now!"
Twilight screamed again. Claws ran down the inside of her throat, or at least, that’s what it felt like. Pinkie Pie’s voice came from the very depths of her mind. "Well maybe not now but you get what I'm trying to say. You're the cherry on top of our six-layered, multicolour, upside down, deconstructed friendship cake!"
I don’t deserve this. Twilight tried to say it out loud, but no noise escaped her muzzle. Instead, bubbles formed around her, and she realized she was drowning. Twilight thrashed around and opened her eyes. There was nothing. Nothing around her. Somehow, the white had become her. She clasped a hoof around her mouth, but it did nothing to help. She couldn’t breathe, but she found herself not needing to gasp for breath.
Despite being plunged into the white non-liquid pool of nothing, every time Twilight tried to breathe, only bubbles formed. The white entered her like apple juice going down the wrong part of her throat, but she didn’t feel the need to cough. Purple eyes flicked around anxiously, but there was nothing.
It seemed like hours that passed by within heartbeats. Twilight’s muscles slowed, and she found herself floating in the white expanse. Her coat clung to her body as if she was wet, but there was no water dripping from her at all. She blinked groggily once, twice, then the whole room shook. Twilight’s heart dropped as a new visual appeared. It was green and it appeared like fire.
Twilight couldn’t even tell if her eyes were open or closed, but regardless, she could see as if she was standing on the outside. Spike was there, and he looked right through her. "We will always be your friends, Twilight."
The entire world boomed. A deep, resonating, rumbling boom echoed Spike’s voice in every direction around her. Twilight’s body got launched upwards and nowhere at the same time until she fell. She tried to use her wings, but no part of her body wanted to move. Twilight hit the ground with a thud, but there was no pain. Not even the slightest sensation. She looked around, her fur now dry, but all was still white.
Then, somehow, the white got brighter. It was blinding, and she felt herself momentarily return to her body, if only for flashing, fleeting moments. During whichever state of consciousness she was in, she spoke words that she didn’t know she knew. And then, the light took over every sense she had, and she closed her eyes. There was a tingling feeling all over her body, as if it had been asleep.
Wait, a feeling in her body? She hadn’t been able to feel anything for so long. Only traces of feelings. And when had the room turned black? Oh, my eyes are closed. Unsure of what just happened, Twilight opened her eyes.
She was expecting an endless field of white like always. The momentary glimpses of what her body was doing. The feeling of being in control and being helpless at the same time. What she saw, she was not expecting, and neither was the rush of feeling after. Her friends stood in front of her, backlit by the now rapidly setting sun. Twilight blinked a few times, unsure if she was having some kind of hallucination, but when Applejack spoke, it drove it home.
“Well howdy, Twilight.”
That was all it took for Twilight to start crying. There was too much pent-up emotion, too much frustration and guilt and anger and every horrible thing imaginable built up inside her. For the first time in two years, she was surrounded by her friends. She wanted to stand up and hug them, but she couldn’t even move. And worse of all, she knew she shouldn’t. She had just put everypony through this.
Oh sweet Celestia, I just put everypony through a horrible ordeal!
Shaking from her hiccuped crying, Twilight dropped her gaze to the floor. She took a look at herself and the floor below her. She seemed to be relatively unscathed, but she could definitely not say the same for her friends. Spike watched carefully, hiding behind Fluttershy’s hind legs. Fluttershy herself was covered in dust and scratches, a few now dry trickles of blood staining her fur. She looked down to Spike and wrapped a wing around him. The worst part was that Fluttershy seemed to be the least injured.
Rarity had a cut on her shoulder that still bled freely down her foreleg and her fur was in a state that Twilight knew it would have never gotten to normally. Rainbow Dash looked like she just got hit by a chariot, bruises darkening her fur all over, and a cut along her muzzle dripped scarlet into the grass.
And Applejack…
Twilight shuddered. Applejack was covered in blood, nearly from nose to tail. The cut on her cheek and black eye definitely did not make up all the blood on her pelt. Twilight rationed that it couldn’t have possibly been all her own blood because nopony could survive bleeding that much, but that revelation made Twilight realize something even more horrible. If that wasn’t all Applejack’s, then who had bled all over her? What exactly had Twilight done?
In a panic, Twilight looked around. Her friends all took a step back and turned away from Twilight. She couldn’t blame them. She was a monster. What she saw brought back flashes of memories. Other ponies laid on the floor, some of them stirring and groaning as their friends went to check on them nervously. Some of them were up and rubbing their heads, blinking away the state that Twilight had put them in. Some others… didn't move.
She noticed a group of ponies surrounding another tree, looking at it and then at Twilight with a variety of expressions on their faces. Most ponies wouldn’t look at Twilight for long. She narrowed her eyes to try to see what they were looking at. To her surprise, she saw an amber pony with a yellow and red mane tied to the tree. It took a moment to process who it was, but when it hit, Twilight sprung to her hooves, although a bit unsteadily. “What the hay happened?”
Her friends all turned back to her, eyebrows furrowed in different ways ranging from confusion to anger. Applejack took a harsh step forward but left it at that when Rainbow Dash put a hoof on her back. The farmer took a sharp breath. “What do you mean ‘what happened’?”
Twilight recoiled at the harsh tone, although she knew she deserved it. “I just… I don’t really know what happened,” she admitted quietly, not daring to make eye contact. “I know I… I know I did something, but I just don’t know what I did.”
“Look around, Twilight,” Applejack spat. “You did all of this. You hurt us. You hurt your friends. You... you…” The orange mare trailed off as she bared her teeth and looked to the side.
Rarity took a step forward so she was shoulder to shoulder with Applejack. She forced the earth pony to look her in the eyes. “Darling, don’t be so harsh on her,” she whispered.
Twilight’s legs shook a little. She looked to where Applejack was looking and gasped. Her legs completely buckled underneath her. “What… how did…”
Nopony was able to hold Applejack back this time. She lunged at Twilight, stopping mere inches from her. The earth pony towered over the alicorn lying on the floor and glared at her. “You did that! You made Sunset Shimmer your lackey and you had her kill Spitfire! And then when she failed to kill us, ya almost done killed her yerself!”
Applejack was tackled by a blur of cyan and rainbow. The two mares struggled on the ground before Applejack let herself be restrained. “Applejack!” Rainbow yelled at her. “Calm the heck down! You’re just going to make it worse!”
Twilight crumpled lower to the ground. “I… what?” She shook her head, tears threatening to come out again. The purple alicorn buried her face under her hooves. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry…” She repeated the apology like a mantra to nopony and everypony at the same time.
Fluttershy cautiously approached Twilight and settled down next to her. “I can’t tell you that it’s okay…” Fluttershy draped a wing over Twilight, who stiffened. “But I can tell you that we’ll help you, Twilight. We’ll help you set this right.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?” Twilight peeked out from between her hooves at Fluttershy, who shot a dismissive glance at the two mares arguing next to them before giving Twilight a gentle smile. “I’m a monster.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No, you made a mistake. And everypony deserves a second chance.” Fluttershy stood up and motioned Twilight to do the same. She offered the alicorn a steady base to hold on to as she stood. “We don’t know the full story, but we do know it wasn’t all you in there. So what about… you tell us?”
Twilight looked at the ponies who had gathered around her and ducked her head, feeling a lot smaller. They all looked at her, most of them upset, some of them with worry, and some of them with fear. What other choice do I have? Slowly, she nodded. “It all started after I found a note…”