//------------------------------// // Chapter 75. Don't be scared, don't be Shy. // Story: Becoming Fluttershy // by Hope //------------------------------// “Oh... come on!” Discord panted. “You... were shot… in the head! You… should’ve been… laid up... for weeks... at minimum. I made sure of it! Ultimate... chaos... chess player here!” He fumed, kicking dust and dirt, lamely flailing his arms about, and generally pitching a fit on par with a five year old. “What’re you doing here, sugarcube?” RJ hissed at Twilight. She grinned at RJ, looking maniac in the camera frame on my laptop. But Pinkie was eyeing the TV and the image, before moving it to a certain position, lining things up with… something. “Pinkie?” I asked her nervously. “Nah, Reid’s got the lead on this one. Time for a good old fashioned frame-skip!” she giggled as she backed up, out of the room, still in line with the TV. “Sorry, RJ. I couldn’t… just sit by… and do nothing,” Twilight said. RJ shook her head. “And y’all call me hard-headed. How do you feel?” “Like... I just cast two major spells while being doped to the gills,” she said. “Don’t ask me to walk; I really can’t right now.” “We’ll hold you up,” Dash said, leaning against her. “And what was that anyway!” Discord ranted on, pointing at us. “That- that magic thing you did. That you all did. How did you do that?” “Power of friendship,” Raritony said, sticking her tongue out. Pinkie Reid started running, galloping at full speed, right into the room and leaping off the bad, and I winced as I expected her to slam into the TV but instead she went into it! “Oh, that’s it. You’re all topiary!” Discord said, stretching both arms out, ready to snap at the group. “CANNONBALL!!!” Discord whirled around and Pinkie slammed into his face. The impact slammed him into the surface of the roof, and left him partially buried in a crater. Pinkie hopped over the rim, and slid over to us. “Wee-ee-eeee-heee!” she giggled. “Whoo, that was fun. Naptime now!” She collapsed on the spot, cuddling a convenient exhaust vent. “Still?!” RJ groaned. Twilight shook her head. “I think she’s narcoleptic,” she said. “It’s got to be better than how I feel, though. Ugh. I think I’m gonna throw up…” “I think she killed Discord,” Stephanie said, carefully peering at Discord’s head at the bottom of the crater. “Keep back everypony,” RJ said. “He might still be dangerous.” “Oh please,” Discord drawled from behind them. I was pacing the hospital room, watching but only halfway, shaking, biting my lip. How long would it take to fly there? Stephanie had my element, could she stand in for me, if needed? Surely they could do something, help! Then, the phone on the bedside stand rang. I paused. That was David’s phone, Twilight’s phone, not mine. But… I hovered up to it, answered the call, and put it to my ear. “Hello?” I asked, still shaking. “Fair Fluttershy, it is I, Princess Luna. Are we too late?” I held back a sob as tears began to fall from my eyes. “New York City, we need help as soon as you can get there, please… I’m hurt so I’m not there…” “Say no more,” she said gently. “We are in touch with those who have been aiding you. We will be there as quickly as we may. Our sister shall be meeting us as well. You must thank your friends, all of them, for reaching out to us.” I nodded quickly, sniffling. “We… we wanted you back,” I pleaded. “And we shall be. Goodbye, fair Fluttershy, we shall see you shortly.” “Stop it Discord!” Twilight shouted in my ear. “Just… stop!” I looked over at the TV, RJ was covered in tuna cans, and Discord looked remarkably in good shape for having taken a Pinkie to the face, in a golf outfit with a tweed jacket, and a golf club in one hand. “But I’ve only just begun, David!” Discord squealed. “See, I always tried to attack you from the outside, because well. It’s outside. I’m outside. It’s just easier to hit!” He shrugged. “Besides, friendships break from the outside all the time! You stop calling, you don’t hang out, soon you’re just awkwardly trying to pretend you’re not at the same bar mitzvah- I just ushered things along!” He snapped, holding up a poster portraying the six of us: grayed out, miserable, avoiding looking at one another. The tagline read: My Little Ponies: Friendship is a Hassle. He whisked the poster through the air, tying it around himself like a cape. “But you’re all soooooo… devoted.” He spat the word. “Pesky power of friendship protecting your outsides. Booo.” He thumbs downed us. “So, my only option was to find a place where your friendship left you open. A spot where I could get… inside.” He grinned. “Where would friendship possibly leave us open?” Raritony said, haughtily. “Hmmm. Another pop quiz for all of you.” He produced Trivial Pursuit, My Little Pony edition, and slid out a card. Scanning it, he giggled, then read: “What happens when you little ponies are all so annoyingly emotional and can’t think of any better way to express yourselves?” He looked at us expectantly, eyes dancing in delight. Twilight perked up, smiling. “Oh! We sing!” “Yes. In harmony,” Discord said. He reached for a laptop next to him on a stand, and hit a key. At the same moment, the hospital’s PA system crackled to life and music began to pour into the room. I could almost feel Discord’s hands on my shoulders, his claws on my cheek as tears poured down my face, his mind in my own. The only way I could describe it was as if my heart and mind were being hollowed out, leaving just a silhouette of who I once was. Then, the noise sharpened, gaining definition and power. It picked up a relentless rhythm that forced my heartbeat to match it. So slow, so broken and sorrowful that I ached in between each one. A piano soft and haunting in the back of my mind seized me, and I collapsed onto the linoleum. “Ms. Grey?” I looked up from the artificial wood grain of the table, at the judge behind her podium. “I’m so sorry,” I said softly. “Could you repeat the question.” The silence in the courtroom was oppressive, although far in the distance I thought I could hear a piano playing. I felt so tired, so very tired. I couldn’t feel, numbness covering up and smothering my heart. “Do you have anything to say in counter to the request that Ms. Pie has made for a restraining order?” I looked across the aisle, at the lawyer half hiding the pink pony behind them. She didn’t look towards me. She looked like she’d been crying. Finally, I looked back at the judge, resigned. “No, your honor. I do not believe I have a right to force my presence on others, so I will not.” The rest of the talking was mercifully quick, and simple. Two hundred feet, no communication by any other method, if I wanted to contact Pinkie I would need to go through her lawyer. I took it all in silently, signed where I needed to, and finally I was able to leave. The worst part of all wasn’t Pinkie not even looking at me. It was the steps of the courthouse. Protesters spread out in a semicircle, and as I came into sight they began screaming. “Liar!” “Trans monster!” "Harbinger of Discord!" “Remove Erica from Fluttershy by force!” “Jesse, thief of harmony!’ “Sicko!” They held signs. Breaker of harmony, Kindless, Corrupted Shy, and many more. I wasn't that important, I kept telling myself. I wasn't a monster. But these people sure thought so. I was bad enough for two dozen humans and ponies to show up to let me know how they felt. They didn't stop me, and I was able to get into a taxi. The ride to the portal building was quiet, mercifully, except for the tired groaning of violins in the back of my mind. I was beginning to feel like a shell of a pony. An outline, and nothing more. After paying my driver, I walked into the large official looking building, and went through security. It was like an airport really, but only I was going through. Alone, in the quiet dark halls. The portal itself was a shimmering blue, and as I stood facing it, I realized that Equestria held no more hope and love for me. “Is it over yet?” I whispered to myself. “Will I ever smile again?” There was no answer, not even an echo to remind me of what I once was, and I stepped through. Memories spun around me as I fell through the worlds. Every mistake I'd ever made, every heart I'd ever hurt. All set in stone. I couldn't trace them back and write a better ending. This was it. I landed on all four hooves on the other side of the portal, blinking away my tears. The royal guards that stood on this side didn't even look at me as I passed by. The two ponies going through security whispered to each other in quiet tones as they watched me walk. Every eye except for the eyes of care upon me. Every mind filled with my failures. Every voice ready to repeat my crimes. I wiped my tears away and stepped out into Ponyville. Once my favorite town in any world. Now, just another place where I was reviled. Ponies avoided me on the street, and just as I was nearing the road to my cottage, I came to the Sweet Apple Acres sign. I paused and, with a thin thread of hope, turned onto their path, only to have Rainbow Dash land hard in front of me. “Hey Shy,” she said briskly, standing over me as I shrunk away. “Hi, Rainbow…” I whispered. “Is RJ…” “She's… busy. I don't think she'd enjoy company right now, you know?” Rainbow said, flipping her mane out of her eyes. “I… I don't know,” I admitted in a bitter tone. “I don't… Nopony will talk to me…” “Yeah, well maybe they weren't so thrilled to find out that Erica was lying to everyone,” Dash said, rolling her eyes. “Or that Fluttershy kept up the lie. I get it, you want to be kind, but you aren't exactly doing yourself any favors. Maybe… if you'd been honest in the first place Discord wouldn't have won." I couldn't stop the tears, as I backed away, whimpered, and finally galloped off down the path to my cottage, heartbroken. I was just a silhouette. Just the image of who I once was, nothing more. Every step, I was abandoning them to save myself. If I got rid of myself… if I broke myself in half, then I could just end-- I arrived at the door to my cottage, but there were no animals to greet me. No birds, no Angel. All gone. Every single one of them chose to leave. Some over lying. Some from me not being quite the same. Some just admitted that they only stuck around because their friends were staying with me. Angel… Angel just told me that I wasn't worth the trouble, and hopped away. I opened the door, and found the one creature that stayed by my side. Julien. Shining Armor. He was sitting on the couch, watching some show on TV. He patted the spot next to him, and once I dried my tears I sat with him. “Julien, I…” I started, voice wavering. I felt like a dam that might burst. Like I was dying in a hundred different ways all at once. I had to get it out somehow. “Hold on, Shy, this part is good,” he said casually, without even looking at me. I stared at him, mouth open in shock. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that he wouldn't care. He was the most caring person I'd ever known, and no merge could change that. I could beat someone to death, and he would have my back. He'd said countless times he would be my best man at my wedding when I found a woman I loved. He'd literally held me on the couch as I cried myself to sleep before. Somehow, through episodes of ham-fisted drama and the twisted knife in my side that was being told I was fictional, I could believe that every pony friend could drop me like trash on the street. I could convince myself that Equestria could be corrupted. But not him. And here he was, ignoring me. “You aren't Julien,” I whispered. “You're right, I'm Shining Armor,” he chuckled with a raised eyebrow. “And I'm sorry, but can you put off this whole crying thing for like… ten minutes?” I turned away, and I walked out of the back door. I was hurt. I was tired and drowning in my sorrow, but everything about him felt so wrong it made my skin crawl. No matter how horrible my life became, I could not believe that no more kindness remained in the world. I walked out into the tall grasses, closed my eyes, and decided that the world I was in wasn't real. I took the first true stand I’d taken since this merge began, and I decided that I deserved for this not to be real, and nothing would convince me that it was. I would be kind to myself, and give myself a better world. Everything warped, the piano faltered, and the world shattered around me.