Author's note: Firstly, I wish to thank the fic Burlap (search in EQD!) for its creative use of font sizes, serving as my inspiration for Luna's snores about two chapters ago.
Secondly, I wish to thank mlp.wikia.com for a particular part of this chapter; you'll know what it is when you read it. I will admit I very nearly bend the truth with it, but this whole fic bends, so I go with it.
Thirdly, diapers.
Enjoy.
There were a lot of ponies outside of Celestia's bedchambers: a variety of guards in case of any emergencies, staff of cleaners in case any mess was made (Celestia explained that Discord can be a mule sometimes, no offense) and Luna, Cadance and Twilight stood by.
Everyone patiently waited to find out what would happen next. The slight exception was Twilight, who was off one side trying to remove, disenchant and even scissored the plastic wings, plastic halo and diaper away, but to no avail.
Luckily Celestia's chamber doors were soundproof.
Twilight kept trying. "Stupid diaper! You make me look bad!" she complained as she repeatedly tried to remove it only for it to appear on her rear again and again.
Shining Armor, who just came into the corridor, spoke to her, "Umm, Twilight?"
"Ahh!!" shouted Twilight, not realizing Shining Armor was beside her, "Oh, hi B.B.B.F.F! I, Er, you must be wondering about this getup! You see, I'm dressed as Cupid, a spirit of Love, in honor of today's special occasion!"
"Oh Twilie, Cadance told me the whole thing already," he said, but that smile of his just drew bigger and he was starting to lose control.
Twilight was un-amused, "Don't you dare laugh big brother,"
"I'm, NMPHMF-" he held it in as best as he could, "not! MHPH!!" He looked away, breathed in and out, said, "Okay, I'm fine now!"
And looked back at Twilight as Cupid, and roared in laughter.
"AHAHAHAHA!! OH! OH! MY POOR SISTER IS WEARING A DIAPER-ARGHAHAHA- CUPID!! OH, SO CUUUUUTE!!"
"Captain Shining Armor," said a very stern Luna from behind. And he snapped up and saluted.
"Captain Shining Armor reporting, Your Majesty!" he said in total contrast.
"Status on security and condition of the castle," Luna ordered.
"Foundations of the castle remained intact. No one got seriously hurt, besides some minor injuries. And the maintenance department head fainted at the extent of the damage, but Fixer Upper always does that whenever these big calamities happen, and bounces back okay,"
Luna nodded and turned to Twilight, "What of the other holders of the Elements, Twilight Sparkle? Are they on their way?"
"Yes, Princess Luna, they're on the train as we speak, and I have the Elements ready!"
"You are not wearing your crown, Twilight Sparkle,"
"It... it looks silly with the halo on as well, Princess," she said shyly.
"Fair enough," Luna replied understandingly.
Cadance then approached her, "Your Majesty? Are you sure that Princess Celestia will be fine inside there, alone, with the Spirit of Disharmony? He's incredibly crafty from what I can tell,"
"With his diminished powers, and Celestia's own vast intellect, I have no doubt it is Discord under her hoof," she stated flatly, "but, it is if Discord agrees to be a couple with my sister once again that is my greatest worry, though from the way he reacted, that seemed unlikely, but still..."
"Discord wasn't a very good coltfriend in the past, was he?" asked Twilight.
"On the contrary, Twilight Sparkle, he was. In fact, my sister and Discord were madly in love for a many long years. They may have even married, if it wasn't for Discord's foolishness,"
"What did happen then?" asked Cadance.
Luna gave a deep sigh, "It is a tragic tale. But many years back, before this castle, even before my... my succumbing to the dark magic... my sister and I started off as mere Ladies of Old Equestria. We were granted this by our very nature.
There was another, and he was of course Discord. Even from young, his powers were a clear reflection of chaos and disharmony. His own unique abilities granted him a place in royal and magical societies, to that they may study and understand him and the magic of chaos. But he was always a troublemaker, skipping classes, pranking ponies, the likes. I, in particular, was his favorite pincushion,"
"That's weird, Princess Celestia wouldn't seem the type to go for, err, the bad boys," Cadance commented.
"Oh, Discord was born a, as you say, a bad boy, head to toe. But being alicorns and a draconequus meant that we were the special ponies amongst the special ponies. Therefore, Discord had his own problems, and Tia and I had ours. But being in a unique position that was quite similar, both Celestia and Discord naturally gravitated towards each other, finding love in the loneliness of our powers,"
"Hold on, that means Discord was once on the side of good?" Twilight asked incredulously.
"Indeed,Twilight Sparkle. For the longest time, he was mischievous but never malicious, a wild card but never a mad pony. He was much too rebellious for his own good, however. My Sister and I began to take over the responsibilities of the unicorns in controlling the sun and night. But that prankster toiled away aimlessly,"
"So what happened? Did he go cuckoo or something" asked Cadance.
"Neigh, in fact, Celestia was a big part in cleaning up Discord's ways, so to speak. He had always loved to bake and throw parties, so Celestia encouraged him to join the royal bakery. Which shows in his chaos a great love of candies and other oddities. That he did, and we lived happily ever after. For awhile, at least. Discord give us a lasting gift felt to this day: he was the founder of Hearts and Hooves Day, granted it was for the Prince and Princess of that time, but he really did organize it to impress my sister,"
Luna wasn't really projecting, but the whole corridor was stunned.
And Cadance, uttered, "What...?"
"We might not have given Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee a love potion. We may have given them a love poison," said Sweetie Belle.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo screamed, "What!?"
Sweetie Belle further explained, "Apparently, some prince who long time ago whipped up this recipe and gave it to this princess he liked. He meant it to be a love potion, but things didn't turn out so well,"
"How "not so well" did things turn out?" Apple Bloom nervously asked.
Sweetie Belle continued, "Well, there's something here about a dragon, the kingdom falling, chaos reigning... Okay, apparently it was all because the prince and princess were so lost in each others eyes that they couldn't perform their royal duties,"
"Oh, thou didst not know?" Luna asked.
"I thought Hearts and Hooves Day was founded by the Prince who made the potion!" said Twilight.
"Hah, that bumbling Prince couldn't find his own tail! That potion was concocted by Discord for the Prince, but love potions has never been his forte. In short, the Prince and Princess couldn't perform their duties because they got so lost in each other's eyes, some guards blamed Discord and accused him of attempting to take over the throne, and Tia and myself had to save the day. How that maddening case brought Tia closer to Discord I will never, ever comprehend,"
Cadance flipped, "I-I-I-I-no one knows that! Are you saying Discord, Mr. Chaos himself, was the FOUNDER OF HEARTS AND HOOVES DAY!!??"
To her stunned surprise, Princess Luna perked up, "Ah, Princess Mi Amora Cadenza, 'tis good to see thee finally exercise thine Royal Canterlot Voice! Or is it the Royal Crystal Kingdom Voice? But to answer your question, yes, and I know you are its latest patroness, pity Discord came and ruined the day,"
Princess Cadance nearly collapsed in a daze, but Shining Armor caught her.
"So, what happened after that, Princess?" continued Twilight.
"He eventually became the head baker, and we Princesses of Old Equestria. Our first reign did not last long as Discord felt uncomfortable being merely a baker and Celestia a full-fledged princess. Many of the other royals also did not approve, even from the beginning of them even being in love. He began to cause a lot more trouble again, and this caused a lot of heated arguements between the two. He left his position as baker, left Equestria a few weeks. Which broke my sister's heart. Then he returned, with chaos and madness fully embraced, attempting to conquer Equestria one village at a time,"
"Your and Princess Celestia fought him then?" asked Shining Armor, also curious. In fact, all the other ponies were listening as well.
"Once. And only once. Did I ever tell you why Celestia and I did not confront him directly when he mysteriously returned?" she asked.
"Well, I heard from your sister that you were ambushed and turned into a cow-"
"That is NOT what I meant, Captain Shining Armor," she snapped. She continued.
"It is because when Discord does battle, he does it without hesitation or inhibition. Nor do I, for the matter. Celestia would when directly threatened but of course, but she would rather not. And after that first battle, she made me promise never to fight directly against him again, nor would she,"
"So, in that first battle, you and the Princess lost?" asked Twilight.
"Neigh. In fact, with Celestia's power and mine, we are greater than Discord. But... the destruction that held... it spanned the area that began from what we now call Ghastly Gorge all the way to Ponyville, creating a wasteland,"
The entire group went silent and stunned.
Luna looked around and sighed. "I know it is hard to believe that it can come to that, but believe you me, I would face against him anytime. But after realizing how severe our powers that it could result in a wasteland, Celestia ordered me to retreat. And thusly, Discord overtook the throne and ruled Old Equestria for six long chaos-ridden months,"
"Where were the Elements of Harmony in all this? Shouldn't they have been used then??" asked a near-panicked Twilight.
"My sister and I, with heavy hearts, had to embark on a dangerous quest to retrieve the Elements of Harmony, but that is a story for another day. My story will end with Discord's defeat: he became arrogant and we blasted him with the powers of Harmony. It was rather anticlimatic, but it worked. And my sister mourned,"
"Wow," was all Cadance could say, "So, I guess we now wait for them to come out then, how long do you think they will take, Princess Luna?"
"We shall find out soon enough,"
And so they waited. Shining Armor and Cadance cuddled.
And waited. Luna tried some origami recommended by one of her Night Guards, Pixie Candy. They all exploded.
And waited. Twilight tried to slowly burn the wings, diaper and halo off. The diaper quickly caught on fire. After it was put out, It popped right back on her.
When suddenly, they heard sounds from coming from the door. Faint murmurings.
"Strange, those doors are quite heavy, no sound should be coming out," noticed Cadance, "Wait a second-"
And the murmurings got louder, and it was clearer that it was voices. Cadance's eyes widened, "Oh no..."
And it got louder, harsher and closer to the door. Until finally, the door slammed up for Discord to shout, "...I don't want to be near you, Celestia!"
Celestia herself rushed out her room and confronted him desperately, "You were near me just now, weren't you??"
"That was before all this nonsense-talking on us getting back together! Marriage! KIDS!! You can't just let me be, can you, you have to be the 'savior of everything' don't you!!?"
"What's wrong with me trying to get you back!?"
"What's wrong!? What's wrong!?" And turned around to give her the stink-eye.
"Tia, I'm not your precious boyfriend anymore, I'm your enemy! I tried to take over Equestria twice, turned your sister into a cow, even broke up with you a few seconds ago, can't you take a hint!? I don't want to be with you!!"
"But what about all those good times we had all those years ago? We can start afresh-"
"Afresh!! Afresh!!? How can the two of us possibly start afresh!!? No, no, I don't want to hear it, it's not going to work!"
"But it will, Discord, you just have to trust me!" She held his face gently, "You love me, don't you?"
And Discord lost it, took her hooves off her, and hissed, "No, Celestia, I hate you,"
"What?" she said, very taken aback.
"You heard me, mare! You have been the bane of my existence since the moment I met you! You held me back from what I could truely become, putting me down, having me as a lowly baker!"
"That wasn't my choice to make-"
"You had all the glory and power and respect! Me, I'm Chaos, Celestia! And as a goody-two-shoes, you were always in my way! Always ruining my plans, my kingdom! Even me coming back a few hours ago, my life's been a barrel of monkeys because of you. You turned not just my body into stone, but you turned my heart into stone as well!"
"Discord, please, let's just-" and touched his face, but he slapped her hoof away.
"I regret founding Hearts and Hooves Day for you," he hissed. And all the ponies gasped in horror; Celestia was taken aback, eyes stating to water.
And he turned away from her, arms crossed and glaring at nothing, "All that organizing, all that baking, all that caring... was a waste of my time,"
"Discord, no..."
"I wished I never met you," he hissed again.
Celestia let out a tiny gasp.
"Leave me be," whispered Discord.
The entire room was frozen in silence. Then a sniff. And another sniff.
"Discord, of all the concerns I had when I brought you back, none were greater than were you to flat out reject me, in spite of my efforts. That you will end up clinging to the past and your evil more than you will cling to me.
"If you had said something like, 'you can't be with me because I'm royalty', just like how it was back then, that wouldn't be a problem, because I would simply give my title away to someone else. There are so many others worthy of ruling Equestria besides me in this day and age.
"I would've taken the same decision if ponies protested, that they could not understand us, and again, I would leave the crown. And be with you. And not just to make myself happy, Discord, but to see you smile and be happy again, don't you to be happy and live a full life again? Perhaps... with me?"
He stayed quiet and stayed his back at her, arms crossed. She sniffed again, and coughed, and the tears flowed freely.
"Yes, your right, I'm a savior, I try to be the savior of everything, my sister, the Elements, making Equestria something close to a utopia, defeating you a second time... but instead of defeating you, why won't you let me save you?"
"I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for some stupid, petty love spell," he spited back.
"DOES IT MATTER IF IT BEGAN WITH A LOVE SPELL!!" Celestia screamed. Twilight recoiled in horror, having never seen Celestia so upset before, even Discord flinched slightly at this.
"If the spell dissipated, I would still love you! But yes, yes it was a catalyst, but I'm the one that went through with all this! I'm the one that decided to protect you, comfort you, not some mind-controlled Celestia, not some immature little Tia, but ME, you ungrateful- no, no, I apologize..."
Cadance and Twilight, like the others, were fixed on Celestia, but they both noticed Discord beginning to shift uncomfortably, and his face revealed almost a crackling of emotion, of empathy. They looked at each other with acknowledgment on this.
But Celestia began to cough and cry even more, and through all that, she blurted, "Will... will sort your status out later... communi- but... right now... I still love you Discord, but if you can't... I just... can't..."
And Celestia ran back into her room, sobs at full force, and she magically slammed her doors shut. Thunder struck, and it began to rain.
The corridor was an empty, darkly silence, filled with the sounds of rainfall. And it slowly filled with Discord looking sadly at the door, but he 'hmph-ed', and looked away and began to shuffle away, obviously deep in thought.
His thoughts were broken up by Luna filling the rest of the corridor.
"YOU IMBECILE!!"
"Wha-" started Discord, snapped out of his trance, and saw in horror, an enraged Luna up in the air, with a lot of upset ponies around him. Luna went on.
"MY SISTER WAS WILLING TO FORGIVE THEE, LOVE THEE, MARRY THEE! THAT T'WAS THINE RESPONSE!!?? UTTER AND CALLOUS REJECTION!!?? OF ALL THE FOUL THINGS THOU HAST DONE, THAT MAY BE THE FOULEST!! AND NOW, FOR THINE BETRAYAL AND CRIMES TO MINE SISTER AND EQUESTRIA..."
A lot of ponies were around him.
"ROYAL GUARDS! PREPARE THINE SPEARS OF JUSTICE AND VALIANCE!!
Their spears all pointed Discord.
"MY NIGHT GUARDS! DON THE SHADOWS TO STALK OUR PREY WITHOUT MERCY!!"
And the night guards got into a deadly pouncing pose.
"UNICORNS! MAGIC IS THINE MIGHT, AND THINE MIGHT BE ON THINE SIGHT UPON THIS PATHETIC CREATURE!!
All the unicorns aimed their horns, glowing at ready. Even Shining Armor did so.
"CLEANING STAFF!! THOU SHALT RAISE THINE CLEANING APPARATUS AND CLEANSE THE HORRORS OF CHAOS!!
The cleaning staff raised a plethora of mops, brooms, brushes and the works.
And for the first time ever, in his very chaotic life, he was truly terrified of Luna. And she declared.
"IN BRIGHTEST DAY, IN BLACKEST NIGHT, NO EVIL SHALL ESCAPE OUR SIGHTS. LET THOSE WHO WORSHIP EVIL'S FRIGHT, BEWARE OUR POWER, EQUESTRIA'S MIGHT!!"
And the worst part is, he can't even muster up enough magic to counteract the lunar terror and her dreaded Angry Mob.
So he did the only thing he could do.
Once again, he screamed and ran away.
"HUNT HIM DOWN!! HUNT HIM DOWN!!" Luna bellowed, and the angry mob and Luna pursued, leaving only Cadance and Twilight stunned.
Twilight sighed, "Once again, things got out of hoof,"
"Yep", said Cadance.
"I am wondering though..."
"Yes, Twilight?"
"Do you think Discord's power will one day be back at full power?"
"It's actually quite likely, but first, I think we'll need to beg Luna to spare Discord from eternal... who knows what Luna will do to him!"
"Yep, who knows, but the Princess probably won't be happy if Discord got creamed,"
"You're not just asking to spare Discord's life, just so he's willing to take away your silly outfit, are you?"
"I want to remember what it feels like to use the toilet, okay!?"
To Be Continued!!