Twilight’s smile vanished when she saw the noose dangling in the middle of the town square. “Th... why…?”
“I’ll tell you why, Twiggy.” Toph took a step forward and clapped her hands together. “Because this is the kinda place that wants you to know you aren’t welcome!”
“Then we’ll make ourselves welcome,” Cosmo said. “...Are everyone’s abilities working?”
Toph removed a rock from the ground with a stomp, kicking it into a nearby mailbox. “What do you think?” she deadpanned.
Flashing her horn, Twilight cast a simple light spell. “Hmm… It’s slightly harder to channel energy, but it seems to work fine.”
“A few of the tricorder’s sensors aren’t functional,” Data said, scanning the buildings. “I still get composition, but more exotic particles don’t show up at all.”
“Then you’re lucky you have me!” Caspian took out a sword and pointed it at the sky. “I rely not on strange magicks or unusual machines! I am myself!”
Cosmo clapped her hands with a giggle. “Go, Caspian!”
Tippi fluttered in front of them all. “I cannot sense the Pure Heart. Since I’m intended to operate in all universes, that means it’s likely off-planet.”
“Then we shall make use of the Enterprise when it arrives,” Data said.
“Until then… let’s appreciate this new world.” Twilight took in a deep breath, only to gag as she took the full brunt of the trash pile rotting in the alley behind them.
“It appears that may be difficult,” Data observed.
“Thank you, Data,” Twilight deadpanned. Marching into the town square, she made an effort to stay as far away from the gallows as she could manage.
The inhabitants of the city were of a variety of races none of them had ever seen before. The most common were humanoid mushroom creatures with smooth bodies and large, spotted mushroom caps sitting on their heads. However, there were also short two-legged creatures of a brown coloration with no arms, large purple rodents with disproportionately sized snouts, turtle creatures with colorful shells, what appeared to be a walking sentient bomb, and a large blue creature with a big nose and leaves on its head wearing a mix between a professional suit and a palm-leaf skirt.
Not a human, pony, or anything even vaguely familiar was in sight.
“Well…” Twilight ruffled her feathers. “This place certainly has variety, I’ll give it that.”
“We should start asking around, see if we can find anything,” Toph said, fiddling with a pebble.
“Right, right…” Twilight found the closest person, one of the bomb creatures, and walked up to it. “Um, hello, we’re new here, and we’re wondering if you c—”
“BOOM!” the bomb shouted, making Twilight jump back. “Hah! Gotcha! I bet you were worried there for a sec, huh? Well, looks like I’m not in the mood to explode today. Or am I?”
“P-please don’t explode,” Twilight stammered.
“Oh, is the horsey scared? Hmmmm?” The fuse coming out of his head lit and he walked closer to her. “Come here, let’s have a little explosive fun.”
Twilight raised a barrier between herself and the bomb, preventing his continued advance. “Oh come on! I lit myself and everything, I want to at least see some soot in your f—” He exploded, sending a cloud of dust and fire around him. For a moment, Twilight was absolutely horrified… but then the smoke cleared and he was still there.
“Wait, didn’t you just…”
“Hah!” the bomb laughed. “You’ve never seen a bob-omb have you?”
“I… no.”
“Well, that means you suck. Get lost!”
“I’m sorry, but we can’t do that mister bob-omb,” Cosmo said, pressing her hands together. “See, we are on a quest to find the Pure Heart. Have you heard of it?”
“No idea what you’re talking about, lady.”
Cosmo pointed upward at the large purple vortex roiling through the sky. “It has something to do with that.”
“Do I look like I care?” He approached her, narrowing his eyes. “This place gets you annoying self-proclaimed hero-explorer types all the time. Well, news flash, this is Rogueport! We don’t care about your ideals, your quest, or whatever danger we might be in. We care about your money. So get lost.” He exploded again, and when the smoke cleared, everyone could easily see him running away into the distance.
“Welcoming place,” Toph deadpanned.
“We just need to find the leader of this city,” Caspian said. “They will know more and care about their investments, most likely.”
“It’s a start,” Twilight admitted. “Let—”
“Augh!” Toph shouted, falling over as some blue humanoid ran into her. “Watch where you’re going, fishbarf!”
“Right, sorry, whatever,” the blue guy shrugged and ran off.
“Utter jerk I sw—” Toph patted her clothes. “What the… did he just take my money?”
“You were carrying money?” Twilight cocked her head.
“Duh! Earth Kingdom coins! How else do you think I paid for things in my world?”
“Shall I pursue him?” Data asked.
“Nah. He’s already with a troop of friends.” Toph smirked. “I bet those coins are absolutely useless to him. Nobody’s gonna get to Diqiu to use them. Let him suffer for his useless prize.” She let out a purposefully evil-sounding laugh.
“We will need to find the leader.” Looking around, Caspian pointed at the large yellow creature in the suit and palm leaf skirt. “You there!”
The creature looked at Caspian like he was an idiot. “What you want, bub?”
“I am but a humble visitor to your grand city. I am King Caspian of Narnia, a—”
“Never heard of it.”
“Well, I doubt you would have. Still, I am looking for the leader of your fair city of Rogueport.”
“City has no leader.”
Caspian stared at him in disbelief. “You have no sovereign? No council? No code?”
“Nope. Now buzz off before I get too interested in ya, ya hear?”
Caspian raised an eyebrow. “Was that a threat?”
“Y’see, already gettin’ the hang of this town. Now scram.”
“I find it hard to believe this place holds itself together without some form of power. So listen to me, large beast. I will not take kindly to being lied to, and if you continue in your uncooperation, I will be forced to act.”
The creature smiled, though this was barely visible under its bulbous nose. “I’m almost proud, ya learn the lessons of Rogueport quickly.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“Such a shame—it really is—that I have to call the rest of the Mafia on ya now.”
Caspian paled. “Excuse me?”
“The Piantas don’t take kindly to threats. And yer a king! Should fetch a nice price.” He stuck his fingers in his mouth and whistled. “Get ‘em, boys!”
“Run!” Tippi shouted as several other bulbous creatures in the same outfit came out of the various alleyways. Nobody objected, moving as a group toward the only alley that didn’t have one of the Pianta Mafia. Twilight took a sharp left, only to find her way blocked by two of Piantas, both flexing their muscles.
Twilight attempted to teleport behind them, but the spell fizzled. “Oh no. Teleporting doesn’t work!”
“This does, though!” As Twilight watched, two earthen pillars slammed into both the Pianta’s heads from nearby walls, knocking them unconscious. Glancing back, she saw Toph giving her a sardonic grin. “I’ve been useless for too long, you guys need to remember just what an Earthbender can do!” Running past Twilight, she performed a full-body earthbender-style stomp into the ground, sending out a wave of rock towards the panicking Mafia members, washing over them with impunity. She signaled for the others to follow her over the newly-formed small hill.
“Hey, wait, why are we running?” Cosmo asked. “They haven’t shown any unusual abilities, we could probably take them.”
“Do you want the Mafia to hunt you down to the ends of the earth?” Tippi asked.
“They probably are already, after what Caspian pulled,” Toph said.
“I was making progress,” Caspian retorted.
“Of course you were…”
“I learned they were the Mafia! Whatever that is!”
“Stop right there,” a birdlike creature with a spear in his hands demanded. “You’re not enterin’ Robbo territory with that nonsense. Pay up.”
“We don’t have your kind of money, and we’re kind of in a hurry,” Twilight pleaded.
“Then you’ll have to fight me for i—”
Toph smacked him with a boulder, crumpling the spear and dropping the bird. “There, path’s clear.”
“We really don’t have to run, do we?” Caspian asked. “We can just… push them aside.”
Data nodded. “My phaser is on stun. It would be an easy matter.”
“All right, all right, we can face them,” Twilight said. “Try not to hurt any of them seriously.”
“That means it’s Data and me,” Cosmo said, pulling out her phaser. Data did the same. In unison, they blasted two Piantas who had just come around the corner. Aiming up, they blasted three more that had been aiming cannons from the rooftops. Continuing the trend, Data aimed another phaser shot at a large one running at them. What had started as a tense chase ended with a laughable showing by the Piantas.
More and more Piantas came out of the woodwork to attack them, so many that the pile of unconscious bodies became comical. Toph ended up slamming her foot into the ground and creating a rock chair, which she laid upon leisurely. Eventually, over the massive pile of Pianta failures, a blue one came out, clapping. As Cosmo aimed at him, he quickly stammered, “A-ah, don’t shoot, bub!” He held up his hands to show a lack of weapons.
As both lowered their weapons, he continued, saying, “Well done!” He walked to them slowly, as non-threateningly as he could manage. “I haven’t seen dees oafs get their dinner served to ‘em like dis in a long time!”
“And who are you?” Caspian asked.
“Don Frankie. You’re causin’ quite a stir in my Pianta Syndicate. Knockin’ us down like we be dominoes next to a toddler. Can’t let that slide, you understand.”
Data aimed his phaser at Frankie. “And you understand that we cannot be taken into your custody.”
“I understand, I do, I really do! But, y’see, I have one thing you don’t.”
“And that is?”
“A starman.” Frankie lifted up a small, five-pointed yellow star with two eye-like dots on it. When he crushed it in his hand, rainbow energy erupted from it and flooded his entire body, turning him into a rapidly flashing technicolor beast. Data and Cosmo fired, but their phasers did nothing. Toph jumped in with a boulder, but it disintegrated on contact with his rippling colors. She tried to pull up a massive earthen wall from the cobblestones to stop him, but he just ran through it, brushing dust off of his suit.
“Gotcha now!” He jumped toward them, aiming for a fearful Caspian. Just before he landed, however, a burst of fire flashed between him and the group. It didn’t do anything to harm him, but it did make him stop just in time to hear someone call his name.
Frankie slammed into the ground next to Caspian, cracking the cobblestones and eliciting a sigh of relief from the king that he hadn’t been the cobblestones.
“Vivian, what is it? I’m a bit busy…”
Twilight spent a fair amount of time looking for the source of the voice before the owner popped out of a shadow in the ground. This “Vivian” was a creature of darkness, but not a harsh kind, her tone more similar to the deep purple in Twilight’s mane than the black of night. Her hands were covered by white gloves and pink hair shrouded her eyes, though her small smile was still visible. Her most distinguishing feature, aside from being made of shadow, was her pink striped hat reminiscent of a witch. “Frankie, you’ve forgotten your dinner with Francesca.”
The rainbow colors vanished from Frankie the instant Vivian said this. “Oh… oh no…”
Vivian tapped her hat with one of her fingers. “I don’t think she’s noticed yet, but you might want to hurry.”
“You take care of these sleazeballs, I’ve gotta run!” Without giving Twilight or the others another glance, he ran off at high speed, leaving them alone.
Twilight turned to Vivian. “Uh… thanks? I think?”
Vivian nodded. “You don’t look like troublemakers, which is… strange, in this town. I didn’t want him to run you out or rough you up.”
“So he doesn’t really have dinner with her?”
“Oh, he does now. I was just over there telling her all about it.” Vivian put a hand to her mouth and giggled. “They’re going to be so confused!” She snapped her fingers, letting out a spark of fire into the air. “So, I’m Vivian. Who are you?”
Twilight’s smile widened. “I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle. This is Tippi, Toph, Cosmo, Data, and Caspian. We’re from another world.”
Vivian pointed at the Void. “You have something to do with that, don’t you?”
Twilight nodded, her smile replaced with a grimace. “That’s what we’re trying to stop. That Void up there is a horrible, dark monstrosity that is trying to destroy all worlds. We’re in your world to seek an artifact called the Pure Heart that can put an end to it.”
“Oh…” Vivian frowned, continuing to stare at the Void. “I don’t know anything about a Pure Heart…”
“We’re also looking for the last prophesied hero,” Tippi said. “Someone who could be described as a ‘daughter of darkness’ and a ‘fiery vixen’.” She fluttered closer to Vivian. “Do you think that could be… you?”
Vivian clasped her hands together, smile returning. “It wouldn’t be the first time I went on a quest to save the world. I don’t know if I’m this ‘other hero’ for sure… but I’ll help you. I may not know anything about this Heart, but I know someone who might!”
“Thank you,” Twilight said with a slight bow. “It’s so refreshing to meet someone helpful from Rogueport! Everyone so far has been… aggressive, rude, or just tried to steal from us.”
“I’m not from Rogueport,” Vivian pointed out. “That might have something to do with it.”
“Oh. Well, surely this place isn’t that bad…”
Vivian picked up a clipping of newspaper off the ground and showed it to Twilight. Pickpocketing on the rise! Watch your wallet! And hey, pickpockets… try not to get caught! “This is pretty much the attitude of the entire city.”
“A hive of scum and villainy,” Caspian spat. “Deplorable.”
Vivian giggled slightly. “It has its charms. Though, yes, I wouldn’t recommend carrying money on your person. Ever.”
“Good advice,” Toph grumbled.
It was at this moment the Enterprise appeared in the sky above them, eclipsing the sun. There was a noticeable lack of panic from the Rogueport citizens, with the ship only eliciting a few disgruntled sighs. Vivian put a hand to her chin. “Is that yours?”
“Yes,” Data confirmed, tapping his communicator. “Data to Enterprise. Recommend not using your transporter.”
“Acknowledged,” Picard responded. “Anything to report?”
“No sign of the Pure Heart, but we have finally found a friendly face and, possibly, the last hero of the prophecy. Her name is Vivian.”
“Excellent news, Commander. Keep me posted, Picard out.”
Caspian shook his head with a smile on his face. “I’m never going to get tired of hearing the conversations that take place over several miles.”
“You don’t have E-mail in your world?” Vivian asked.
“What is… E-mail?”
“...I’ll explain later.”
Data lit up. “E-mail is a form of communi—”
“Not now, Data,” Caspian, Toph, and Twilight said at the same time.