//------------------------------// // 4. Pink Menace // Story: Rockets and Friendship // by Spooples //------------------------------// Hey, it’s you again. Furtive Wind. THE Furtive Wind. Only mare with the teats and the sneaks... ...whatever. Lotta traumatic stuff’s happened since the last time you’ve been you, but right now you’re not focused on how your scalp feels like it’s one hefty gust of wind away from being ripped off your skull. You’re focused on the scene before you: a mad sorcerer leering between your team and the Elements of Harmony. The pitch-black clouds of dark magic surrounding him like a shadow, and the green, steaming goo oozing from all crevices of the cavern. The always-stoic Midnight Blossom, still reeling in shock from Soldier’s fate. You can’t say you’re handling it any better. ”S-stay there, Elements of Harmony!” Midnight Blossom shouts towards the six Daydwellers. “We’ll handle this!” ~~/ELEMENTS OF HARMONY?/~~ Merasmus booms, smiling a wicked smile. ~~/WELL, THAT MONIKER SOUNDS IMPORTANT! MERASMUS WILL DESTROY THEM FIRST!/~~ ”Get ready!” Midnight shouts, but her voice is consumed by the dark wizard’s cry: ~~/PETRAMUS DELEOUM!/~~ Before you can even flare your wings, the ground beneath you turns to loose rubble. You yell out in panic as gravity swiftly claims your body, and before you know it, you and your team are in freefall. You flap your wings desperately, trying to find any kind of aerial purchase— CRACK! As quick as lightning, a blistering pain shoots down from where the rock had nailed you on the head, to your brain, and then to your spine. The last thing you hear before succumbing to the blackness invading your senses is Spy’s irate yelling: ”I WAS STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO THEM, ESPÈCE DE CRÉTIN !” You’re Applejack now, and you’ve just lost your backup. Celestia above, this mission is more of a mess than a family reunion with the Strawberry step-cousins! The Elements of Harmony didn’t work! You and the girls had quickly learned your lesson after the last few world-ending encounters, and just blasted Merasmus with the Elements the moment you got the chance, but they did nothing! And the most humiliating part? Now that you know Merasmus is a stallion… …Well, you just don’t know if you can resort to physical violence against a stallion! You were raised to be a proper gentlemare! Working with Big Mac has taught you all too well that, no matter how much a stallion hides it, there’s always a sensitive, gentle soul underneath a colt’s exterior. No matter how distant or cold he may seem. But does that apply to villains?! TO EVIL, INTERDIMENSIONAL WIZARD VILLAINS?! WHAT’RE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO?! The bat ponies' surprised squeaking grow more and more silent as they fall deeper into the new hole in the floor. Merasmus gives a satisfied cackle at his quick work before turning to you and your friends. ~~/NOW THAT THEY'RE DEEP DOWN IN THE RUBBLE, MERASMUS SHOULD HAVE NO TROUBLE.../~~ …He’s a stallion, AJ. Even if that predatory smile contorts his features into something ugly, even if he can’t keep his living space clean for the life of him, even if he’s a freakishly powerful threat, he’s a stallion! ”…A-alright, girls!” Twilight pipes up. You flinch as the proximity of her words remind you this isn't some nightmare. It’s real. You’re here. You very well might die. “If we stick together, I’m sure we can—” ~~/ABRA CA-INSTAKILL!/~~ Before any of you can react, a light brighter than Celestia’s sun above engulfs you and your friends. You expect to feel a ferocious heat rip you apart from the inside out, but… you feel nothing. Are you already dead? Was it that quick? But as quickly as those thoughts enter your mind, the light recedes. You peak open your eyes, and see… …nothing’s changed. ~~/BLASTED, WRETCHED AMBIENT MAGIC!/~~ Merasmus bellows with a slap to his forehead. ~~/EARTH NEVER HAD THIS PROBLEM! ARGH! MAGIC WAS SO MUCH SIMPLER BACK THERE!/~~ ”…Wait a minute,” you hear Twilight mutter under her breath as she studies the wizard. ~~/WHATEVER! IT LOOKS LIKE MERASMUS WILL HAVE TO GET HIS HOOVES DIRTY… BY WIDDLING EACH OF YOU PATHETIC MORTALS DOWN WITH MAGIC AT A DISTANCE! AHAHAHAHA—/~~ Ker-POW! With an explosion of confetti and a blast of gunpowder, Merasmus is suddenly launched across the room and sent crashing into the stony wall of the cavern. The smoke from Pinkie’s party cannon just barely matches the smoke coming from her ears and nostrils. ~~/OH! YOU CHEEKY… FOOL!/~~ Merasmus shouts as he struggles to escape from the interdimensional evil wizard-shaped hole in the wall. ~~/HOW DID YOU EVEN GET IN RANGE THAT QUICKLY?!/~~ With a red glint briefly flashing through Pinkie Pie’s eyes, she sneers, “Cartoon physics… bitch.” ~~/…MERASMUS MIGHT NEED A NEW CHANGE OF PANTALOONS./~~ ”GO PINKIE!” Like a deer in the city lights, you swivel your head to Rainbow Dash. She gives Pinkie a cheer and a loop-de-loop in the air, before hurriedly turning back to you and your friends. ”If we can’t use the Elements to harm Merasmus, we can just do it the old fashioned way!” she cajoles. ”B-but he’s a stallion!” Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy all whimper in tandem. You’re less than a cubit from joining them before you have to virtually slam your ears against your skull. Because, without warning, the cave is suddenly filled with a vile, eldritch caterwaul. Like a stiff porcupine, every follicle on your pelt is standing straight up. Dark energy pours from the cauldron like a broken fountain, snaking through the air and into Merasmus. Then, comes the laughter. Fluttershy whimpers and leans against you. You’re too numb to comfort her. As the spectral smoke continues to fill Merasmus, it seems to reinvigorate the wizard. Materializing from seemingly nothing, a jagged bison’s skull settles atop Merasmus’ head. A ghastly book larger than yourself now rests in his front hooves. His cloak also grows, lengthening until it touches down onto the floor. Whisps of dark magic trail behind him as he drifts slowly out of his impromptu sarcophagus. Merasmus lifts his head, and stares each of you dead in the eyes. For the first time in your life, you feel a primal, overpowering urge to flee. ~~/YES…/~~ Merasmus purrs in a way that makes your skin crawl.. ~~/YES… THESE PANTALOONS WILL DO JUST FINE./~~ Rubble. That's the only thing you feel right now. The sharp, stony daggers of rubble invading every pore of your body. The coagulated stench of rubble filling your nostrils, leaving no room for anything else. The distant sound of rubble shifting filling your ears. And then, without warning, the pain comes. You cry out as you heave upwards, sending a spray of pebbles and stones outwards from your geological coffin. Big mistake. Immediately you start coughing what feels like pure, vaporized stone from your lungs. The sound of rubble shifting stops as your hacking fills the cavern. Every desperate breath you take seems to only exacerbate the problem, and you resort to cupping your muzzle with your hooves. Slowly, your coughing subsides. As you finally reach the point of gulping in deep breaths of relatively clean air, you attempt to scan your surroundings. Besides the mound of rubble you're half buried in, an oppressive gray smoke is the only thing you can see. Thestral or not, you're starting to really hate caves. As your eyes start to sting from the dust in the air, you close them, and instead send out a series of Hhisus K'aecus. At the echo of your ultrasound, you’re able to paint a picture of your surroundings in your mind. You're in a small grotto. There isn't a smooth spot on the ground that isn’t covered with jagged rocks, pebbles, or rubble. The pairs of tufted ears poking out of the mounds of stony viscera and the shifting piles of rubble tell you your team is still around. There is a large hole in the ceiling, and you can faintly make out the sounds of battle raging at the distant top. At first slowly, other series of Hhisus K'aecus fill the room in a symphony of various pitches and strengths. And then, somepony speaks. "Anypony wounded?" Midnight Blossom asks as you hear your captain sift through the rubble into the center of the grotto. You scrunch your muzzle in confusion. Her gait is uneven. Gone is her usual, straightforward way of trotting, replaced with what sounds like a wounded animal floundering through quicksand. "I can't move my right hoof," you hear a voice reply from somewhere to your left. It takes you a second to realize it's Furtive Wind. "...And it looks like the pineapple in my mane will no longer be a problem." ...You're glad you're not yet able to see the travesty on top of Furtive Wind's head. "M-my wing is broken...!" Quickthistle whimpers, and the panic in her voice pierces your heart, despite yourself. “Luna above, my wing’s broken…” When nopony else makes a move to speak, you ask, "What about you, Midnight?" "Doesn't matter," she responds curtly. Midnight's limping through the rubble continues as she approaches where you heard Quickthistle's voice. "Specialist Quickthistle, start dressing the wounded. We're headed back up there ASAP." "Give me a second!" Quickthistle yelps as you hear more rubble shifting. "I-it's really in there! WAIT--!" By the time you realize what's going on, it's too late. The grotto is filled with the pained squeal of Quickthistle as Midnight starts to pull her from rubble, mangling her broken wing further. "Midnight, stop!" you yell as you scramble the rest of the way out of the rubble. With a quick flap of your wings, you're by where you heard Midnight's voice, putting a hoof on a pair of warm withers. "She has a job to do, Sillow," Midnight says with a glare you didn't need eyesight to know is being shot your way. "We all have a job to do, and every second we spend down here is a second the Elements are without their backup against that psycho." Midnight’s voice almost breaks as she mentions Merasmus. It’s so subtle most thestrals wouldn’t be able to make it out, but you know Midnight enough to hear it loud and clear. "Everypony here knows that,” you offer. “But we can't help the Elements in this shape. You can't help the Elements in this shape." "The buck are you talking about?" "There's something wrong with your leg, isn't there, Midnight Blossom?" At Midnight Blossom's silence, you slowly open your eyes. The dust has cleared significantly, leaving your captain clear in the open. A thick, red stream of blood flows down the left side of her face, cutting through the gray dust covering her head-to-hoof. Her right wing hangs limply at her side, the occasional twitch the only sign that it’s an organic limb, not a fleshy, lifeless drape. Midnight is glaring at you, obviously. But the subtle twitching of her cheeks, and the way her eyelids are fighting to stay wide, betray her stony exterior. It's the same expression she has every time you ask her about Cloud Kicker. "...Get your bearings, specialist Quickthistle," Midnight finally spits as she limps away. "Then do your Luna-damn job." It isn't until Midnight is busy pulling the rest of the team out of the rubble that Quickthistle speaks. "…I-It's broken." You give her awkwardly angled wing a quick once-over. You don't need to be a doctor to see what she means. "Yeah, I can see that." "No, Midnight's leg," Quickthistle susurrates, her voice a pained whisper. Your blood runs cold as you stare at Quickthistle. "Her back left leg is broken at the gaskin..." Quickthistle murmurs. "I can hear it in the bone whenever she puts weight on it." You can only blink as you turn from Quickthistle back to Midnight. It's then that you notice the scratches on the far side of the cave, whence you first heard Midnight's voice. She was trying to claw her way back up there before you woke up. "...Even though she's a complete bitch, I'll still have to put her in a splint,” Quickthistle spits. "Yeah," you mutter. "That's what I'm worried about." You see Quickthistle tilting her head before you turn away and spot the next groaning pile of rubble. "I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, but you might want to treat Midnight last." Between Midnight Blossom, yourself, and any other able-bodied pony you help, the rest of your team is soon out of the rubble and being treated for their wounds. The sounds of battle above seem to invigorate each of your teammates to spring back into action, but you all know you won't be nearly at full strength when you eventually rejoin the battle. Even if Quickthistle is working as efficiently as she can. Nopony is making eye contact with Midnight Blossom as she limps back and forth impatiently, left wing giving the odd flutter of annoyance. Alright... Three of your team will not be joining you for the rest of the mission. Quickthistle's broken wing ensures her no way out of this grotto for the time being, and even if somepony were to carry her back up to battle, she'd be at a severe disadvantage. You don't intend on losing anypony tonight. Furtive Wind's broken hoof is a similar situation. But instead of grounded, she'd be stuck in the air. All it would take would be a hard stumble onto the ground to incapacitate her long enough to be an easy target. ...Plus seeing the state of her mane might make Rarity up and faint out of shock. And lastly, Midnight Blossom, even if she doesn't want to hear it. Okay, so that just leaves you with yourself, Moonlight Ambrosia, Cerus Thorn, and Moonlight Ambrosia. Guess it's time to step up to bat, Vice-Captain. Hehe-- Wait. You do a double take. Sure enough, there's Moonlight Ambrosia, shaking the rest of the dust off her pelt in a spray of gray mist. Right next to her? Moonlight Ambrosia, using her fangs to preen some excess dust from her wingpit. As the two Moonlight Ambrosias finish their hygienic minutiae, the rest of the team slowly start to notice the doppelgangers and mirror your flabbergasted expression. The last two ponies to notice it are the Moonlight Ambrosias themselves, who react as reasonably as you could expect. They stare at each other. "SPY!" Furtive Wind shouts, pointing a hoof between the two of them. "I'M NOT SURE WHICH ONE YET, BUT SPY!!" Immediately, each Moonlight Ambrosia leaps away from their identical counterpart and lower into a defensive crouch, hackles raised, fangs bared. ...Yeah, you're not doing this. "Rear captain Moonlight Ambrosia," you command, gaining the attention of each of the mares. You might not know a thing about Spy, or Soldier, or Merasmus, or frankly any of the voodoo-nonsense that's been going on in the last few hours, but you do know a thing about earth pony biology. "...Take flight." "Yes, ma'am!" Moonlight Ambrosia says with a salute and a flap of her wings. You smirk and set your sights on the imposter Moonlight. Freaky, magicky disguise-abilities or not, no earth pony can-- Where'd he go? "EEEEEEEEE!” You start, turning back towards Moonlight Ambrosia to see two Moonlight Ambrosias in a rolling ball of fangs, squeaking, and hissing. The team is immediately on top of them, and as quickly as it started, the tussle is over. Unfortunately, it isn't quick enough. "My wing!" Moonlight Ambrosia shouts. "H-he cut through my wing!" "You bastard!" the other Moonlight Ambrosia squeals as she tries desperately to take to the air. It only earns her a pained gasp as blood trickles down from the deep gash in her wing. The deep gash, identical to the other Moonlight's wing. …Clever boy. Midnight Blossom joins you at your side, and you turn to see her stoic face studying the two thestrals. "Does anypony know Moonlight Ambrosia personally?" she asks. That's it! Ask them something only the real Moonlight Ambrosia will know! ... ...Nopony is responding. "The debrief was the first place I’ve ever seen her,” Cerus Thorn says, prompting the rest of your team to murmur their agreement. Truth be told, you didn't even know her name until she was introduced to the Elements. She kinda seemed like “side character material” to you so you never got to know her. Well, buck. Now you feel like an ass. This might be harder than you thou— ”Hold on a second!” Furtive Wind limps forward. She tries her best to look tough, but that’s not exactly easy. You know, broken hoof. …And a mane that would make most balding elders blush from second-hoof embarrassment. Furtive Wind stands between the two Moonlight Ambrosias, giving each one a long, hard look. ”…Alright, maggots!” she pipes up. “What does the baguette feel when you cut it?” …Luna above. ”This is ridiculous,” Quickthistle mutters, and you can’t help but sigh in agreement. You can only hope Midnight Blossom doesn’t eviscerate Furtive Wind too bad once this is all over. Either undeterred or oblivious to the rest of the team’s glares, Furtive Wind leans in, and… ”…It feels… pain.” The grotto delves into silence, the sounds being the battle some ways upwards and the slowly prickling hackles of Midnight Blossom. But then... …snort hon hon. ”GET ‘IM!" Furtive Wind shouts, lunging at the fake Moonlight Ambrosia. Well, Luna above! As you and every other thestral in the cavern tackle the imposter, Spy’s howl of despair reigns over the yelling, hissing, and growling: ”GOD DAMNIT, SOLDIER!” YOU’RE RAINBOW DASH THAT’S ALL THE TIME YOU HAVE FOR INTRODUCTIONS KTHXBAI zzZZAP! WOAH! You zip to the side just in time to avoid another green fireball from the wizard. So what if Twilight would have a conniption if you call them green fireballs? You don’t speak magic mumbo-jumbo! And you’re glad you don’t, because Faust above, this guy’s speaking another language entirely! How does he even do that with his tongue?! ~~/HURLUS BOMBINUS!/~~ ~~/MORTIS LONGDISTIMUS!/~~ ~~/STAFUS ATTACKUM!/~~ “ALLAHU ACKBAR!” Wait, that last one was actually Pinkie! Speaking of Pinkie, she just landed another hit on Merasmus! You’d cheer for her if you weren’t so frustrated that she was literally the ONLY one who’s gotten any good hits on him so far! ~~/AGH! WELL PLAYED… /FOOL!//~~ Merasmus bellows. But, just like all the times before, the victory is short-lived. With another shout of the arcane tongue, Merasmus lifts the mighty book in his hooves and launches a volley of six fireballs into the air. The fireballs immediately curve towards their targets, and no matter how you twist or turn, your designated death ball careens into you. Just kidding, it careens into the purple sphere of defensive magic that suddenly appeared around you. “THANKS, TWI!” you shout as the sphere disintegrates. As Twilight disengages the defensive spell from the rest of the Elements, she shouts to Applejack, “GIMME SOMETHING ABOUT THE PROCULETUM SPELLS FROM EARTH!” Applejack is a frantic orange blur by the bookshelves as you swoop close to the ground. ”PRO-CO-LETUM SPELLS?! THE HAY ARE THOSE?!” ”Err—JUST THROW ME EVERYTHING THAT LOOKS OMINOUS AND MACABRE!” ”NOW YER’ JUST SAYIN’ FANCY WORDS TO SOUND SMART! DAGNABIT, RARITY, WOULD YOU STOP SCREAMIN’ FOR TEN SECONDS?!” Just as AJ says this, a white unicorn streaks past her, screaming at the top of her lungs, still being chased by the ethereal skeletons Merasmus summoned five minutes ago. ”Alright, Twi!” Applejack shouts as she grabs an armful of books from the many shelves. “Ah’m a’ pilin’!” ~~/AH! FOOL! CAREFUL WITH THOSE PRICELESS THOMES! MERASMUS STOLE MANY SOULS FOR THOSE!/~~ The moment Merasmus is stationary, winding up a dangerous-looking spell, Fluttershy makes her move. She swoops in and engages The Stare, right in front of Merasmus’ face. You take the opportunity to quickly zip by the pile of books AJ made and send them off towards Twilight. “Why do you even need all these?!” you shout the moment you’re by Twilight’s side, the books at her hooves. ”I think I might be able to find out his weakness!” Twilight responds as she quickly gets to work, her eyes glowing with an magicky white light as she hastily flips through each of the books. “There’s a good chance it’s in these thomes… The magical structure of his spells are different from ours, and we know his body has no ambient magic, but gosh darnit, that makes no sense! Nothing in Equus can survive without ambient magic!” …Y-you knew all that. ”I’m on the verge of a plan, I just know it!" Twilight says. "I just need to know more! For now, just keep him—” A terrified but oddly quiet scream interrupts Twilight as a smoking, yellow blur shoots just above both of your heads. Fluttershy tumbles to a stop a ways away, broken and bruised. ”Keep him distracted!” Twilight shouts as she drops her current book and gallops toward Fluttershy, her horn glowing with warm healing magic. ~~/PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATION IS NOT ALLOWED IN MERASMUS’ PERSONAL CHAMBERS! ONLY WHEN IT IS DONE BY MERASMUS HIMSELF IS IT ALLOWED! OH MY GOD, PINK MORTAL, IF YOU’RE DOING WHAT MERASMUS THINKS—/~~ BOOM! Another explosive piñata detonates right in Merasmus’ face! ”SUCK MY DICK, MOTHERBUCKER!” Pinkie Pie wails as she beats her chest like an ape. “SUCK IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!” ~~/AGH! OH, YOU REALLY NEED TO PUT A LEASH ON THIS CREATURE!/~~ A fiery blush engulfs your features, and as you dodge another fireball, you scream at the top of your lungs, ”FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT! GAY!” ~~/…What? Oh, ew! EW! WHAT IS WITH YOU PONIES?!/~~ ZAP! A lightning spell just misses you! Even though you’d never admit it, it’s impossible to ignore. You’re terrified. Applejack is terrified. Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity are all terrified! Especially Rarity! ”WILL SOMEPONY PLEASE TOSS A CARTON OF MILK AWAY FROM ME OR SOMETHING?! GET THESE SKELETONS OFF OF MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!” Why, out of all of you, is Pinkie Pie the only one who can land a hit on this guy?! Isn’t she scared too?! Be Pinkie Pie. RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! Back to Rainbow Dash. …Yeah, you guess Pinks is taking Jane’s fate a little more personally. Ker-POW! ~~/OW! ENOUGH! MERASMUS DIDN’T WANT TO HAVE TO DO THIS, BUT YOU LEAVE HIM NO CHOICE! I CURSE YOU ALL… CERUS MINISCUS!/~~ A giggle that’s too evil to come from Pinkie comes from Pinkie. “CURSE ME ALL YOU WANT, WIZARD! IT WON’t keep you from the bloody fate that awaits!” As Pinkie continues talking, you notice that her voice has gotten… significantly higher in pitch. “what’s the matter, pinks?!” you call out before it hits you like a freight train. Your voice is also tiny. … …Your head is tiny! Everypony in the room’s heads are tiny! “oh, what the buck!” you shout angrily at Merasmus. And that’s when Pinkie Pie starts to laugh. She tries to conceal it at first. You can see it in her eyes. She tries so hard to keep on the move, to reload her party canon, to pull out more deadly weapons from her mane or tail, but-- Twilight Sparkle’s squeaky toy voice chirrups another command to Applejack. Rarity’s chipmunk squeal persists throughout the cavern as she continues to be useless. Pinkie Pie’s own laughter becomes her own enemy as it raises higher and higher in pitch. And, she’s gone. ”G-G-GUYS! AHAHHAHAHAHA!” Pinkie gets out before collapsing into a manic ball of laughter. “GUYS, YOU GOTTA—AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! S-S-S-TOP –SNRKSNRKSNRK! TALKINGGGGGGG! AHAHAHAHA! I C-C-CAN’T—GKHGKHGKH-- I’M GONANA PEEEE!!” HORSEFEATHERS! ~~/merasmus… totally planned that!/~~ Merasmus bellows in the cutest widdle wizard voice you did ever heard. ~~/...it was not a side effect from this damn ambient magic! merasmus is just that much of a genuis!/~~ You swoop in and grab Pinkie just before a green fireball crashes into where she was moments before. She’s too busy gasping desperately for breath between her spasms of laughter to acknowledge it. ~~/ahahahaha! fools! cower before your better! cower before marasmus, the greatest wizard of both earth and equus! ahahahahahaha!!! hahahahahahahahahaha!! --oh wow, this voice got annoying real quick./~~