I didn't look away from him again after that. I watched him as he went through hugging Sunflower and Blanche. I thought I saw things on the edges of my vision—blood dripping, flashes, fire burning. I reminded myself that it wasn't real and not to look. I didn't want to see those horrible things.
"Moses's power is he shows your death," Phobia Remedy said quietly as we watched Blanche hug him. He seemed so eager for any love and contact. "He is incredibly powerful for a colt his age and will only get stronger as he grows older, perhaps as strong as the most powerful ponies alive. I worry so much for him. This isn't a healthy place for him. I have tried pulling strings to get him away from here, but even a Dreamwarden can be blocked by bureaucracy and fearful bigots who want to lock away people that are in need rather than help them."
Blanche continued to hug him with her eyes closed, but still lifted her head to speak. "Can't the crystal ponies help him?"
"No, his powers don't turn off. They can shield others from them—for a time, but the constant effort makes them give out after a while. They could try draining him directly, but draining someone that much, especially one so young, that can seriously hurt him, maybe even kill him," Phobia Remedy replied. "The only ones who can go near him without fear of his visions are Dreamwardens and the blind."
"I am not blind by choice, but I have found it an unexpected blessing," Ulga said softly. "Still, I have to regularly remind myself that we are in a better place than we were."
I didn't turn my head to look at her. "Where were you before this?"
"A place filled with real death, not visions," Ulga said softly, almost tearfully. "By the time I lost my sight, I had seen enough death to last a thousand lifetimes. Bodies lying in the streets, in the rivers, all left to rot. We lived in constant fear and hid in caves. We had been so hopeful when we all gathered in those lands, but they became a living nightmare. The Great White Alicorn have mercy on the dead. They suffer no more."
"You remember our question about the ongoing war?" Phobia asked us. "Meet some of the victims."
"I lost my eyes when we were making our final run to make it to the safety of the Russian border," Ulga whispered. "My human friend… he fought so hard to get us there. He was filled with bullet holes, but he still somehow pushed on. Moses treated him like a father. My friend said he was not, that he had found Moses beside the river and named him after that patriarch because he was drawn out of the river. When we reached the Russians at last, my friend dropped down and moved no more. They said that he had been dead for months already. I didn't want to believe them, but he never slept and took wounds that should have killed him time and time again. I believe that he was an angel sent by the Great White Alicorn in our time of need. Maybe he was only there to rescue Moses, and I was only a lucky pony who accompanied them, but he was heaven-sent."
"What was his name?" Sunflower asked.
"Ayedonno," Ulga said with a bitter half-laugh. "It wasn't until they taught me English that I realized what he was saying and how ignorant we had all been. Most of what we said between us was done by drawings and gestures. We never learned much of one another's languages, just a few words. You may be amazed how close you can become to someone even when you don't understand a word they say."
It took me a second to figure out what was funny about the name. Ayedonno, say it slightly differently, and you get I don't know. The man had been literally telling them he didn't know his name, and they took that as his name.
"I drew a man and a colt," Sunflower said, barely above a whisper.
"It wasn't until my mother brought up Moses in her call that I realized you had drawn him from a few years ago," Phobia said. "The Russians burned Ayedonno's body before we could examine it. They called him an abomination, a walking corpse, a zombie. If he had magic, then he indeed never slept because we Dreamwardens never knew him. The Russian troops were so spooked by whatever necromancy was at work to make him that they wanted nothing to do with those associated with him. Hence Ulga and Moses had to come here. Moses's powers didn't manifest until a few months ago."
"Ayedonno was my friend, and I know he never slept," Ulga forcefully asserted. "He was a good man. He guarded us, kept us safe, loved us. They should not have treated his body so and insulted his honor. He deserved a proper burial, not to be treated like a monster. Monsters are not so kind and gentle. Monsters don't have compassion. Monsters don't weep. Ayedonno was not a monster. He was a human man; the best human man I have ever known."
Phobia grunted. "Come here, Moses. Time to get some sun. Upsies."
Moses broke away from hugging Blanche and hurried over to the Dreamwarden. She bent down and let him climb on her back before she stood back up.
"Follow me," Phobia instructed, and she started walking back down the hall towards the courtyard.
We followed, all keeping our eyes tied to Moses, but I still saw things on the edges of my vision. As we walked down the hall, we passed a hospital bed I was sure was not there before, and I heard heavy breathing coming from it. I already could tell it was just another of his visions, but I still looked up at it. There I lay, old, on a ventilator, with IVs and tubes hooked up to me. An older man stood next to me, crying and gently touching my face with his hand as I passed away. I caught sight of the spots on him—Russell. I turned my attention back to Moses. That wasn't so bad. It seemed that some of his visions weren't horrors, even if they were still death.
"Bad! No look!" Moses cried out.
"I didn't look!" Sunflower exclaimed.
"Me either. I have been following directions," Blanche added in.
Phobia let out a long sigh. "Rebecca, you are as bad as Tempest."
"Sorry," I apologized quickly and quickened my pace.
"At least you don't seem to be crying out in fear," Phobia said in an exasperated tone.
"That last one wasn't so bad. It was kinda nice, in a way. I think I was just old and had a loved one there as I passed away," I said. "The first one was bad and gory, but you said they aren't real."
"Still, stop looking," Phobia said firmly. "Your disobedience will end up carrying over to the other two. I also expect if you keep looking, you will end up seeing something that will get to you. I'm all for people facing their fears, but if one of you panics, it will upset Moses, and that causes a chain reaction with his range suddenly extending and patients here getting caught in it. Then I have a bunch of panicking people with dangerous and disruptive magic to deal with—that's what we would lightly call a situation. Follow instructions."
"Hey, are these visions the actual ways we die?" I asked. "As in, are they like different possible futures?"
Phobia reached the door and waited as Blanche opened it—which seemed to be challenging to do while not taking her eyes off of Moses. "The future is open to possibility, Rebecca, but no one can tell it. Even Storytellers only know the pattern of the Story, not the ending. They could be possible futures, but I prefer to think they are fabrications of our imaginations, often the darkest parts. After all, this is mind magic at work. If they were more likely possibilities, I would expect many more people would be dying the same way. Doomsday is coming, and I rarely have heard anyone mention dying in the manner that corresponds with that. Therefore, I dismiss them as any foretelling."
"What is that about doomsday?" Sunflower asked nervously.
"Nothing to worry about at this moment," Phobia replied as she led us out into the tranquil courtyard.
To our shock, the two unicorns were still there. We couldn't look at them because that would mean looking away for Moses, but we listened to them.
"Looks like we took too long," one of them said.
"Dreamwarden lady, please wait so we can get out of here," the other said. "We're just barely in his range. Stand still for a moment, and we'll get out of your fur."
"No offense to the kid, but we catch on fire when we get enraged or terrified," the first one said. "Definitely don't want us mixing with him."
"Where is the staff member who was here?" Phobia asked the pair.
"Said he couldn't wait any longer," the second of the pair of colts replied. "You know how the staff gets here. All of them are scared shitless of the squirt."
"We, ourselves, have got nothing against the kid. We're just a bad mix," the other replied. "We'll be going now."
I heard them hurrying off. "They catch on fire?" I asked. "Isn't that like a kirin thing?"
"Kirin and unicorns share many traits, just like night ponies and pegasi," Phobia answered. "Igniting on fire is not a common unicorn problem, but it is common enough that it is well-documented in Equestria. Princess Twilight Sparkle is the most famous non-kirin that suffers from the occasional combustion. Most of the kirin tribe was absorbed through interbreeding long ago. Some of the traits sometimes resurface even if the remaining kirins exist primarily in isolated areas of Equestria now. Those same traits resurface in our ponies. You'll find that many, but not all, odd magical traits pop up from time to time in the population are from extinct or near-extinct tribes of ponies. I expect if our night ponies and crystal ponies go the same route to extinction that future ponies may occasionally display their traits. Natural mind magic is actually one of the traits from an extinct tribe. Night ponies display that long-gone tribe's traits more often than other tribes do, due to similar magical alignment, but all tribes have some potential for the trait to resurface."
The Dreamwarden bent down and let Moses climb off her back. The colt did so, and he immediately went to investigate a flower that had a butterfly on it. He crept up to it and watched it, looking like he was holding his breath as he did. I was reminded of his mark and looked at it again.
"What's with his mark?" I asked.
"It is fairly simple. A black butterfly and a black flower are both symbols of death in some cultures," Phobia replied.
"He seems so innocent and sweet for having such nasty powers," Sunflower observed.
"He is innocent and kind-hearted," Phobia agreed. "And I hope he stays that way, and he doesn't become bitter and angry at the isolation that is imposed on him."
"Why do they keep him here?" Blanche asked. "I understand keeping him away from the general public if he has no control of his powers, but placing him close to people like those unicorns that could catch on fire, along with whatever else patients here can do, seems like they are setting him and the others up for disaster."
Phobia sighed. "That is one of many arguments I have had with the staff here and higher authorities. You are right; it is a bad combination. It also is detrimental to him in other ways. Those with authority to make those decisions are more concerned with keeping possible troublesome magic users away from them rather than giving them the care they really need. Don't get me wrong; many staff members here legitimately care about the patients, including Moses. They aren't the ones making those decisions; they are only doing their best to help within the confines they have been given to do so. I'll continue to argue for better conditions with those in power, and I hope I will eventually make progress."
"Are you going to be conducting your lesson this week, Dreamwarden?" Ulga asked. "You do not have your crystal pony with you."
"I am doing a different lesson than normal," Phobia replied. "I am going to let him practice what we have already gone over with normal people present."
Ulga gasped. "Dreamwarden...is that wise?"
"What do you mean, have him practice?" Sunflower asked worriedly.
"You three are going to deliberately expose yourselves to seeing his visions," Phobia replied calmly. "We shall do it in a controlled way. The goal is to see how long he can hold things back. Moses and I have been practicing for the last few months. It is time to work with people that can't protect themselves."
"You just fussed at me for looking!" I exclaimed.
"Yes, I did," Phobia agreed. "You were looking at a time when he wasn't focused on controlling his power with no plan on how to deal with things. We will have a plan so you don't randomly panic, and he will be trying to control it now. You have the right to refuse to participate. If you do not wish to participate, let me know now."
It didn't seem like Phobia Remedy ever gave much warning about anything. She just decided to do things, and you could either adjust or fall flat on your face.
"You said seeing that stuff is bad," Sunflower said nervously.
"Bad! Bad!" Moses exclaimed.
Phobia sighed. "As Rebecca can tell you from her disobedience, the level of horror can vary widely. It can be something peaceful, or it can be something that will give you nightmares for a while. Moses will attempt to keep his powers under control for as long as he can, so you may not immediately see anything."
"Immediately?" Blanche asked.
"He will eventually fail," Phobia confirmed. "This is partially a test to see how long he can do it. It is difficult to see how much progress he is making without subjects. Normally Crystal would assist, but she is not available today."
"You made her unavailable," Blanche said accusingly.
"Indeed, but I also needed to test you three and expose you to the dreaded mind magic Dreamwardens protect everyone from," Phobia continued. "It is important you understand who and what we protect from. Most mind-magic-users don't do things deliberately, but can have severe negative effects on others. I am the only mind-magic-user among the Dreamwardens, and you do not want to be exposed to my powers assaulting you. I can control mine, but it is far more debilitating than this. Moses is the preferable option."
"What about the doll?" I asked. "That was why we wanted to meet him. I thought this was about that."
"We will discuss the doll with him after," Phobia replied. "I made the decision that you need to face what we fight and understand that most of those doing these things aren't bad people. Everyone is a victim—both those caught up in it and those the magic originates from. You need to have empathy for each. Do any of you wish to abstain from this test?"
If we said no, it would probably hurt our chances as candidates. I knew all three of us must be thinking it. My suspicion was confirmed when we all kept silent.
"Very good," Phobia said after a moment. "What you will do is simple. On my command, you will all turn your backs on Moses and start silently counting to yourselves. When you see a vision appear, stop counting, close your eyes, and call out the number you reach. You might all say this in unison, or it may come at different times. Once that's done, you can turn your attention back to Moses. Remember, whatever you see isn't real. Don't let it get to you. Keep calm and close your eyes when it comes. Do you understand?"
"Yes," we all said more or less at the same time.
Phobia bent down next to Moses, who looked as nervous as we did. He seemed very aware of everything being said and what it meant—surprising, considering how young he was. Then again, this was his life. He lived in fear of hurting people with his magic every day. That had to be unimaginably rough for a little kid.
"I need you to try to control your power like we normally do," Phobia informed him. "This time, it isn't going to be Crystal who can just block you out. The staff here really should be doing this, but we are going to do it instead. They promise they will try not to get upset. If they do, they know it isn't your fault, okay?"
"But it bad!" Moses asserted again, pleadingly.
"Don't get upset," Phobia repeated. "You want to get where you can get out of here, right? You'll never get there without practice. I want you to be free. Ulga wants you to be free too. Once you have control, you can start doing all the things you've been missing out on—birthday parties, ice cream shops, playgrounds, seeing new places, and playing with other foals. I don't expect you to have full control today, and nobody is going to get mad at you for it, but we need to practice, okay? We all care about you."
"You saw me not get upset twice already. It will be okay, little guy," I reassured him.
Moses gave the three of us a timid look. "No get mad? No run away?"
"I won't," I replied quickly and confidently.
I heard Blanche lick her lips. "I can't promise I won't get upset and desire to run away, but if I do, I won't be mad at you. It isn't your fault. You can't help any of this, and it is completely unfair to you that you got stuck with magic like this."
"I want to be brave," Sunflower said quietly. "I don't want to be a coward who runs away, especially if somepony needs me. I will be brave for you because you need ponies to be brave for you. I can't help you if I'm not willing to be brave. Sometimes you have to be brave to help somepony, even if you are scared."
"We need to break you of that pony pronoun habit, but I understand it's only what is natural for you and what you were brought up with," Phobia said to Sunflower. "Those of you who don't get chosen may still have places in the OMMR if you are interested, and we want to make sure we are using inclusive language."
"Can they hear us out here?" Blanche asked.
"No, only see what's going on by camera, and it isn't that great a picture outdoors," Phobia answered. "Ulga and Moses won't discuss anything. Moses wouldn't understand what we are discussing, and Ulga is only concerned about Moses's well-being, not Dreamwarden politics. She has her secrets that she'll probably take to her grave."
"I have little desire to talk about the details of what happened back in the old country," Ulga replied in a quiet voice. "I did hear you mention a doll. I am not sure how you would know—or at least, how you would know outside of reading my memories, but I have vivid memories of a strange doll back in the old country. Ayedonno used to follow the doll. I tried to pick it up a few times, and he always laughed at me for it. I didn't understand why until I found it was soon gone each time and appeared again later. He would follow it whenever he saw it, like an omen. It would always end up ahead of us, sometimes not seen for days at a time, no matter how far behind we left it. I wondered if it was the Great White Alicorn guiding us to safety."
"Celestia had nothing to do with that forsaken place or with that doll," Phobia replied. "We will talk about the doll later. For now, Moses is my concern. Let us begin."
I gulped and took a deep breath.