//------------------------------// // Chapter 205 - The Queenmobile // Story: Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) // by CrazedLaughter //------------------------------// “I never expected there to be a stairway that led this deeply underground.” Twilight said, as she noticed the strange lights illuminating the path down towards the basement. “Anon, you did this?” You nodded, feeling a sense of pride. “Yep, I wanted to make sure everything was comfy for Chrysalis, both above and below ground.” “Ugh, you’re making me regret bringing you both down here.” Chrysalis then looked over to Twilight with an aggravated gaze. “You’re not the least bit scared? You can’t at least say one thing about how this can be yet another trap I devised?” Twilight shook her head, and gave Chrysalis a soft smile. “No, but as I understand it, whatever is down here is something you really want to see. So, I’d like to hope for Anon, and maybe even myself, that we’d come to enjoy it.” “That’s not how you’re supposed to see it!” Chrysalis shouted, growling at Twilight. “You’re supposed to be nervous! Fearful!” Chrysalis then looked to you, stomping her hoof. “Send her back! This should be our moment! She should have nothing to do with it!” “Erm, well, one, I’m glad you’re happy to share anything with me. And, um, yeah, I’m already out of charges… Again.” You were nervous, but you did think it was sweet she wanted to share the moment with you. “Again?! You really did want to rush everything, didn’t you?! Urrraaghh! Fine!” Chrysalis then looked to Twilight, pointing at her as she demanded absolute attention. “Stop acting friendly, I don’t want to hear it! In fact, don’t say anything, is that clear?” Twilight only took a half moment to think about it, then nodded, not saying a word. “Really?” Chrysalis asked, confused. “Well then… Fine, now come on.” Chrysalis said as she continued down to the basement with you and Twilight. She then shifted her eyes to you for a moment, only taking a glance before looking forward once more. “So then… You’re well? You’re not just putting up a front?” “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” You say, looking back up at her with a smile. “Ngh! Stop! Not another word from you unless I tell you to talk.” Chrysalis said, flustered from you thanking her. She even looked to Twilight to make sure she wasn’t smiling about it. Twilight tried to maintain a stoic expression, which seemed to somehow annoy Chrysalis anyway. “And you, don’t you dare react at all, understood?” Twilight simply nodded. “Good. Now then, Anon, how fast do you think my new car is?” Chrysalis asked as she licked her tongue along her muzzle. “I can imagine it moving so much faster than my old ride.” You say nothing. “Anon? Why aren’t you… Right, fine, you may speak.  You shouldn’t toy with me, Anon, or else I’ll make sure you have to spend a week in that hospital.” Chrysalis said, her tone sounding rather threatening. “Chrysalis, come on, you don’t have to act like that anymore. You’re among friends!” You tell her, trying to snuggle up to her. “You were really worried about me. Can’t you just be a little nice? Please? I promise not to tell anypony about it.” “There’s nothing to tell, because I don’t do ‘nice’.” Chrysalis said as she slowly and gently pushed you aside. “And that cake I was planning to make? That doesn’t count, so don’t even try.” “Fine, be that way. I just thought maybe you’d be a little nicer since we’re about to go see something I made just for you.” You say. It may be a dick thing to mention you did something nice for her, but she could at least show a bit more gratitude. “I deserve such things, Anon. Just because you gave me something doesn’t mean I have to thank you for it. Twilight, you’re a Princess, tell him.” Chrysalis said, looking back at her with a head nudge towards you. “I, uh-Eep!” But the moment Twilight spoke, Chrysalis barked at her. “I said you’re not allowed to speak!” Chrysalis said angrily at her, before giving her a smirk. “So easy. No wonder Discord likes to toy with you so much.” “Hey! I’m not-Eep!” But again, Chrysalis barks at her. “Silence!” And just like before, she gives her a dominating smirk. “ So so easy. Okay, I’m satisfied, for now. You may speak, but just remember to give me your honesty once you’ve seen my car. Your jealousy will be a treat.” Twilight furrowed her brow just a bit, but kept her cool. Given Chrysalis was being less violent, and showing you some sort of care, she decided to play along and refrain from being 'too friendly' . The three of you finally reach the basement caverns below. beside you stood the shooting gallery you had made for Chrysalis earlier. There were also huge curtains covering something, it had to be Chrysalis’s ‘Queenmobile’. “Curtains? Oh, Anon, that’s quite a tease.” Chrysalis said. She almost rushed towards it before she stopped herself. She didn’t want to seem too excited for it, as if she didn’t want to seem thankful in any way. You know it was just the magic naturally doing its thing, so you just rolled with it. “Yeah, well, I just wanted to see you get excited over it. Come on, I know you are, you love cars. It’s just me and Twilight, so you can act a little excited.” “I’m not excited. In fact, I don’t even care to pull away these curtains.” Chrysalis said as she pointed down in front of her. “That’s why you’re going to do it. I’m above such things.” Twilight pondered for a moment. She wanted to think of a way to get on Chrysalis’s good side. If it was something Chrysalis was truly excited for, then maybe acting a little jealous wouldn’t hurt. “Ahrm. Well, I could use a car. If you’re not that excited for it then you can give it to me, er, because you shouldn’t get all the fun stuff.” “Aha! I knew it! I knew deep down you wanted it! Just seeing human cars made you want to have one of your own, hm? Well, too bad, princess, this one is mine. Now then, prepare yourself, because I have decided to do the honors myself. Prepare for the most fearsome machine you’ll ever witness in Equestria!” Chrysalis used her magic to tear down the large curtains revealing her new car. It looked almost like a batmobile, but the wings on the back were more bug-like, with holes. Neon green along the edges of the jet black car. The turbine on the back sputtered green flames for a quick moment, as if reacting to Chrysalis’s call. And the windows on the hatch to the interior nearly glowed green as if they were Chrysalis’s eyes themselves.  Chrysalis walks along it, rubbing her hoof along the side. “It even feels deadly.” Twilight carefully approached the car, looking up at the glowing ‘eyes’ of the windows. “It certainly is something to be jealous about.” Twilight felt so awkward, she wondered if humoring Chrysalis like this was a good idea at all. Chrysalis’s mood suddenly soured as she rolled her eyes towards Twilight. “Ugh, you’re such a bad actor. Ah well…” Chrysalis turned back to her ‘Queenmobile’ and smiled quite joyously at it. “It can’t take away my satisfaction. Anon, I have to admit, you have outdone yourself with this. You actually deserve my thanks.” “Heh, you’re going to thank me, just like that? In front of Twilight?” You asked. She just thanked you so willingly without hesitation. “Sure, even she can’t take away how impressed I am with you right now. This vehicle is like an extension of myself and-hm?!” Chrysalis is taken aback when a green laser light shines from her head to her hooves. “What in Equestria was that?” Suddenly, a robotic female voice came from the car’s hatch flew back, revealing the interior. “My Queen, you have been registered and verified. Please enjoy your tool of havoc and speed.” “Did… Did that just talk to me? And…” Chrysalis got closer, and inspected the inside of the car. Jet black seats with neon green trimmings, one gear shift, with a thruster throttle next to it, glowing buttons that seemed to do different things, and even a screen on her dashboard. The steering wheel extended almost like a bat’s wing would, but had her crown as the centerpiece of the design. Chrysalis just stared into it with awe, she even began to shake a little. “Chrysalis? You alright?” You walk over to her, sure as fuck that she was stunned from being so impressed. “You like what you see?” “I-I do.” As if she was mesmerized, she slowly got into the car and tapped at the gear shifts, letting her hoof slide along the steering wheel. “Anon…” “You’re welcome, Chrysalis.” You said, feeling rather cheerful about her reaction. “I knew you’d love it. I’m really happy to see stunned by it.” You then give her a little snicker. “Pretty awesome, right? I bet you wanna hug me, huh?” “I actually do, Anon, I actu-” But Chrysalis stopped herself when she looked over to Twilight, who was also smiling about the situation. “And why, Princess, are you smiling? You are aware this isn’t yours, right?” Twilight shook her head, and even giggled. “I know. And I’m smiling because I can tell your genuinely happy. I was almost afraid that maybe all you really saw from Anon was somepony to take advantage of. But I can see you really appreciate what he’s done for you. And please, don’t mind me, I’m not going to say anything about you being affectionate and loving towards Anon.” Chrysalis’s smile of joy twisted to that of an annoyed frown. “You’re such a killjoy.” “What?! Aren’t you happy with Anon?” Twilight was astonished by Chrysalis’s reaction. “You seemed so excited over this.” “And I was, and then you ruined it by adding in that sentimental rubbish.” Chrysalis said. “Ehhh, I kinda have to agree with Chrysalis on this one. You almost made it all seem like an afterschool PSA. You could have just said ‘I’m happy to see you happy’ and that would have been fine.” You explained. “I... actually agree with that. I can’t believe your friends can tolerate your drivel. Don’t get me wrong, I have come to understand there are things that I do that may get on one's nerves, but you just go on and on and on with the goody two shoes routine even after everypony else gets it. You wouldn’t last two seconds in human company.” Chrysalis said, rather disgusted with Twilight. “What?! I was only trying to be nice! And what are you talking about? Human company? Aside from Anon, neither of us know any other humans. Chrysalis, this is serious, you can’t just be mean all the time. If you want to make friendship work, you have to be willing to show some kindness and love yourself. Also, I think I’d do fine among humans, I’m sure a new view on friendship would actually help them, just like it’d help you.” Twilight explained, flustered with Chrysalis’s words. Oh god… “Twilight, I’m going to be honest. Like, brutally honest. If you ended up in the human world, you’d probably be fucked so hard your brain would fall out.” “What?! Wait, wh-WHAT?! WAIT?! WHAT?! That word! That… What?! No! What?! My brain?! You can do that th-WHAT?! Why would humans… WHAT?!” Twilight was blown away, her eyes were bugged out, her mane even frizzled instantly upon hearing your words. “Explain yourself, Anon!” “Yes, I want to hear this too.” Chrysalis said, she herself surprised by your statement. She wasn't even amused, she didn't understand why humans would fuck Twilight. “Just trust me, theres a certain subset of humans who would love to fuck a brainy purple horse. You wouldn’t last two seconds.” You tell Twilight, immediately amused by her reaction. “But that doesn’t even make sense! We’re not even compatible! That… Why would humans even… That’s vulgar! Vile! And disgusting!  Especially when it comes to brains!” Twilight shouted, flabbergasted at you. You shrugged. “Some humans are like that. Some humans want to fuck a purple horse, some want to fuck a sentient female feather duster. These are the realities we must face.” “But that doesn’t explain whyyyyyyyy!” Twilight walked up to you, giving you a crazy eye. “That scientifically makes no sense! Even in the sense of, ahrm, THAT! That would still require attraction between the couple that initiates it!” Christ, Twilight, she went from zero to a hundred real quick, she looked nuts over it. “Er, uh, erm.” “Have you not been around Anon at all, Twilight? He’d fuck anything that moves. Trust me, I’ve seen him do things to objects that don’t even move at all.” Chrysalis said, as she became amused by the situation. “Face it, Princess, some beings are so pathetic and desperate that they’d even be willing to have you. The only trial with that is the human not losing his appetite over your garbage takes on friendship.” “What?! Wait! I… Are you both messing with me?” Twilight asked, confused. “No.” Both you and Chrysalis said at the same time. “I… I… I knew humans were capable of violence, but that’s just… Why?” Twilight said, as she began to sit there, trying to rationalize everything in her head. “As much as I’m enjoying this, I want to drive my new car already, so…” Chrysalis plucks you with her magic, by the scruff, and places you next to her on the passenger seat as she magically gives you a pat. “Are you comfortable, Anon?” “I… Uh, yeah. T-thanks for asking.” Wow, she really was being extra nice to you all of a sudden. “You’re very welcome, Anon, you’re finally proving yourself to be a fun friend.” Chrysalis said as she looked over at the broken Twilight. “I never would have thought Twilight could be defeated in such a way. No wonder Discord likes to toy with her so much, she’s a wreck.” She said with a short cackle Twilight just kept sitting there, trying to rationalize everything, trying to figure out why humans would find her attractive. “Yeah, it’s not too tough, you just need to tell her something her brain wouldn’t be able to comprehend. It works surprisingly well on ponies, actually, mostly royalty so far.” You explained. “I’ll keep that in mind. Hm, while she’s stunned like that, I wanted to tell you something I didn’t want her to hear.” Chrysalis said as she slid her hoof along the steering wheel. “What is it?” You asked. “I wanted to tell you that I truly appreciate this, from the bottom of my little black heart.” Chrysalis said, giving you a warmer smile than she normally would. “O-oh, well, I just wanted to make you happy, Chrysalis. Although, this is all part of a trade.” You tell her, feeling rather happy that she thanked you so genuinely. Like, seriously, if this was her true feelings deep inside? Then yeah, everything was going to be ok. She hasn't even tried to kill Twilight yet. “Yes, yes, I’m aware. Whatever, I can’t believe I nearly got so sappy. My captain would never let me forget it if he somehow caught me being ‘too’ nice. I need to get this out of my head.” Chrysalis suddenly started blasting the horn of the car. “Twilight, stop being a drooling moron and get in here!” Twilight, who seemed to be calculating in her head, stops to realize she was being called. “W-what?” “What do you mean ‘what’? Stop being an imbecile and get in the car. You should be happy anypony would fuck you at all. But no, not you, not the princess, where even procreation, a natural thing, seems to bother you.” Chrysalis said as she rolled her eyes at Twilight. “What?! Don’t you realize what he said?! He said with humans!” Twilight barked back at her. “And? At least that’s something! Because we all know you're never going to find anypony in this world. Now get in before I decide to take back my word on helping you.” Chrysalis said as she pressed a button, starting the engines, as if she already understood how the car worked. She pressed her hoof on the hoof specialized accelerator to rev up the engine. Twilight stopped as her right ear twitched. That whole sex thing would have to wait, as even she understood the importance of properly befriending Chrysalis. “F-fine, alright, I-I’m coming. B-but... I” Twilight stopped for a moment to try to retort Chrysalis's claim. "Whatever you're trying to think up, stop. Just, stop. Seriously, you should have figured things out by now given how Anon is." Chrysalis said as she pointed towards you. "before he actually valued his commitment towards his little marefriend, he would have jumped at the chance at you if you even batted eyelids towards him." Oh god... "Chrysalis!? I mean..." You sigh "Erm, yeah? But that was the old me." "Ok, I-I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that part. B-but at least that makes sense, Anon's entire genealogy must have changed when he became a pony. So that makes sense." Twilight said, still frazzled in the mind, unable to make sense of it. "No, I'm pretty sure he would have done it even if he was still human." Chrysalis said "Yeah... I would have." You said, agreeing with her, feeling awkward about it. Twilight's eye twitched from that. "B-but why? I-It..." You sigh, and roll your eyes, this was getting ridiculous. "Twilight. Think about it for a second. Are you telling me if Spike was older, and say, Rarity wanted to get with him, that they wouldn't just fuck each other in bed? Are you that naive? Come on!" Twilight raised her hoof to say something about that, but then froze. She then narrowed her eyes as she snorted hot air from her nostrils. She then silently climbs into the back seat of the car, and just sits there. "Twilight?" D-did you break her? Twilight just raised her hoof up, calling for silence. "No, I get it, this doesn't need to go any further, I'd rather just not hear it anymore." "Well, that's good. Because I wasn't going to wait anymore. Here we go!" And with that, Chrysalis threw both the drive shift and overdrive throttle forward at once, causing the car to peel out and thrust forward at such a speed that screams from you and Twilight could be heard.