Hi, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries!
Boy, am I excited for today’s episode! It’s one that I’m sure is going to be super exciting, and one that just might possibly end up being the best episode of this vlog yet! So, what is this potentially greatest episode ever about, you may ask? Well, today’s episode is about me trying to…work in an office!
Yay.
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*SIGH*
Okay, look, I know that working in an office doesn’t sound like a super exciting premise for a vlog episode, but I’m trying to be optimistic here. I’m fully aware that office jobs – and white-collar jobs in general – are typically seen as mundane and uneventful, but despite this conventional belief I feel that spending some time working in an office could be both fun and educational.
Wait, should I really say, ‘both fun and educational’? It seems kind of redundant since things that are educational are usually also fun.
Eh, whatever. I’ve already said it.
So with all that said, for this episode I’ll be spending a week here at Daisy Meadow Parchment Company, a company that, as you’ve probably guessed, sells parchment and parchment accessories. This is the company that my friend Rarity uses to get parchment for her invoices, and it’s actually thanks to her that I’m able to try working in an office for this episode. Apparently, Rarity and the manager of the Daisy Meadow Ponyville branch are business friends, and when she told this manager I was looking to try and spend some time working in an office the manager said I’d be more than welcome to come in and work for them for a few days.
I believe Rarity said they’re temporarily in need of a receptionist or something like that.
Okay, I believe that was everything I needed to say for the intro. So let’s head inside and get this episode underway, everypony!
Day 1
Oh, I think that’s the manager over there.
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Hello! I’m Twilight Sparkle, your temporary receptionist.
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Wow. This manager is certainly…quite the character.
Okay, well, it’s nice to meet you too, Ms. Scotia. If you can just show me to my workstation I can get started right away.
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Ooh, this is a nice desk.
So, what is it that I’ll be doing exactly?
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That’s all? Just taking calls and greeting visitors?
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Oh, no, the job doesn’t seem too difficult. I’m sure I can handle doing this all day long.
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Sorry, that’s what who said?
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Never mind?
All righty then.
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Aaaand she’s gone.
Okay, I guess I’ll just have a seat and wait for a phone call or a visitor.
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Oof.
This desk may be nice but this chair sure isn’t.
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Oh, hello there! Nice to meet you! I’m Twilight, and I’m filling in at reception for a while.
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Um, no. I wasn’t told what happened to the usual receptionist.
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She was decapitated?! Oh my goodness!
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Uh-huh.
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Uh…huh.
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Okay, well, thank you very much for informing me of that. Again, nice to meet you.
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Yeeeah, I don’t think that pony was being all that truthful about what happened to the previous receptionist.
Plus, I’m pretty sure she was wrong about a pony being able to go on for several hours after being decapitated.
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Oh, it looks like another one of my coworkers is coming over here.
Hello! I’m Twilight, I’m filling in at reception for a while. Is there something I can help you with?
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You want me to look in my desk drawer?
Um, okay.
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What the -?
Why is my stapler encased in…what is this? Gelatin?
Oh, hang on, I get it; pranking the new pony, huh? Well I’m no stranger to pranksters, and I have to say that this is a pretty clever prank. Good job!
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Why would I have been upset? Pranks are all in good fun, right?
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Uh-huh. I look forward to working with you too.
Bye.
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He seems nice.
*RING*
Ooh, my first phone call.
Ahem.
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Daisy Meadow, this is Twilight.
Day 2
So my first day went pretty well, but I have to admit that it was a bit mundane and uneventful like convention said it would be.
Though I have to say, meeting all of the ponies who work in this office was a real treat. They’re all so different but they manage to work so well together in what is perhaps one of the greatest testaments to the power of friendship I’ve ever seen. There are a few ponies who have a rocky relationship or two with some of their coworkers, but even those ponies clearly still care about everypony here at the end of the day. It’s just…it’s kind of touching, you know?
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Huh? An announcement over the intercom?
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Ooh, there are free pretzels in the lobby! I think I’ll just head down there for a minute and – wah!
T-That mare just about ran me over on her way to the lobby.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pony get so excited over a pretzel before.
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Oh, hello, Ms. Scotia.
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Would I like to hear a joke? Sure!
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Oh boy.
Um, identity theft is not a joke, ma’am. There are many ponies who suffer from it every year.
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What? N-No, I’m not saying that you aren’t funny, I’m just saying that your joke wasn’t funny.
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What?!
Ms. Scotia, I really don’t think you need to do that! Why don’t we just take a minute to sit down and -
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Okay, the manager just quit…all because I didn’t like her joke.
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So what now?
Day 3
Soooo, remember yesterday how the manager of this Daisy Meadow branch suddenly quit because I didn’t think her identity theft joke was funny? Well after the ponies at Daisy Meadow corporate found out about it they decided to make me the new manager. Don’t ask me why though, because I have absolutely no idea why those ponies thought that making a temporary receptionist the new manager was even remotely a good decision.
Especially since I still know next to nothing about parchment and parchment accessories.
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Fire?
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Fire!
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!
Okay, stay calm, everypony! Just follow me down to the lobby and – no pony is listening to me.
*CRASH*
Ponies, please! There are emergency procedures for situations like this! If you’ll just listen to me -
*CRASH*
ARGH!
Why won’t any of these ponies listen to me?!
Day 4
So, yeah, you know that fire that happened here yesterday? Turns out it was started when one of the employees left their cheese pita in the toaster oven for too long. Thankfully the damage it caused was minimal and no pony was hurt, but the whole incident took a lot out of me.
*SIGH*
I’m not sure where the notion that office jobs are mundane and uneventful came from, but I’m quickly starting to believe that that notion is baloney. I mean, yeah, my first day at this office was fairly humdrum, but the last two days around here have been crazy.
Maybe it’s just this particular office that’s so kooky.
*SNIFF*
Oof.
Is somepony making soup? There’s a smell in here all of a sudden that’s pretty potent.
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Nope, not soup. Looks like one of the employees is eating a hard-boiled egg at their desk.
*HEAVE*
Ah geez. One of the other employees just threw up because of the egg smell.
*HEAVE*
Okay, another…another employee just…humph…threw up.
*HEAVE*
Ooooh not good. Seeing all of these ponies throwing up is…is making me feel like I’m…I’m…
Cut! Cut!
Day 5
Well, today is already off to an interesting start. When I came in this morning there was a giant chili stain on the floor, somepony’s desk was completely wrapped in Hearth’s Warming paper, and another pony’s desk had been moved into one of the restrooms.
You know, at this point I’m not even sure I’m working at a parchment company anymore. I think what happened is I accidentally wandered into a psychiatric hospital that’s being run by the patients and now I’m stuck here for the rest of my life.
That might explain why Ms. Scotia left the way she did.
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Huh. A number of the office supplies that are usually in this desk are missing. In fact, just about every office supply that’s usually in this desk is missing.
Excuse me, everypony, but do any of you know what happened to my supplies?
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Somepony put them in the vending machine in the breakroom?!
Huh…I…are you serious right now?!
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Just a prank? Just a prank?!
No. Gifting a pony some flowers covered in sneezing powder is a prank. Placing a pony’s stapler in gelatin is a prank. Stealing a pony’s personal property and hiding it from them is not a prank! It isn’t funny! In fact, it’s pretty unfunny!
RAAAHHH!
*CRASH*
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Um, s-so sorry that I just, um…kicked a hole in the wall, everypony. That was definitely an overreaction. Heh heh.
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I think I’m just going to go. It’s been really great being your receptionist/manager these last few days, but I think once corporate hears about this they aren’t going to want me to stick around, so I’m just going to leave now.
Bye!
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Well, this certainly isn’t how I expected things to go. I…I just can’t believe that I got so upset that I kicked a hole in the wall. I guess the stress of working in that office caused me to lose control of my emotions for a moment and, well…damage company property.
I should probably contact Daisy Meadows corporate and explain what happened. And tell them that I’ll pay for the repairs to the wall too.
So I think it goes without saying that we’ve reached the end of this episode. So as always, thanks for watching, everypony, and I’ll see you next time on Twilight Tries!
Now how do I get out of here again?
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Geez. You’d think after working here for five days I’d know my way around this place by now.
Maybe the exit’s down this way?
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Wah!
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D-Did you see that pony just now?! They looked like some sort of, I dunno…recycling cyclops!