The Dragon's Notebook

by Arby

Resolve

I murdered a Prince of Equestria. Murdered a boyfriend. Numerous times. Killed several ex-boyfriends. Killed an innocent pony. Killed scumbags. Killed the kidnapper of my Rarity. My sweet, lovely angel. And I killed my peace of mind. Why did I do it all? I wasn't too sure. I think I wanted to protect Rarity, but after nearly kissing Rarity, and hearing her confession, I just wanted that kiss. I wanted to feel it's sweet embrace, washing away my pains and troubles. Her confession made me forget my pain, so I sought out the love she felt for me. I thought that it would wash away my pain, so I chased her. I chased her to the Carousel Boutique, and ran into the doors. I saw Rarity's shadow upstairs, so I ran up there, tracking blood everywhere. I saw her run into a room to the left, so I ran into that room also.

A guest room for Sweetie Belle; it was empty. Window wasn't open. I looked around, feeling oddly calm. I am protecting Rarity, I had no reason to feel guilty. The murders before? Necessary. Golden Shutter? Trial and error; you learn from your mistakes, and I did. I wasn't doing anything wrong, I was protecting many in the name of love. Many; the many faces of Rarity. All of them. Generous, beautiful, charming, seductive, dramatic; all of her faces.

“Rarity? Dear, I don't want you to be scared! Come out dear,” I said, standing on my backlegs.

I belched out the Death Note, and used the blood practically oozing off my arm. I opened it up and the blood slowly dripped onto the notebook. I grew another inch, and my spines sharpened into blades.

“I won't hide it anymore. I want to have an honest relationship. Please? I killed them. I don't like it, and I don't want to, but I have to. Tonight was proof! You need protection, and this tool lets me!” I checked the closet of the room, finding nothing. I poked my head in. “Ra~rity! I love you! I need you to love me! I need you to understand why! Twilight will protect me, so I must protect you! It is a circle of love, and it will always return to you!”

I stopped speaking, and turned around. I looked around frantically, starting to hyperventilate.

“Ra-Rarity? Come o-on out, my l-love. Please, you love me!” I walked to the door, noticing it closed after I swung it open. I growled. “OUT OF MY WAY!” I shouted, kicking the wooden door in.

I ran down the stairs and took a corner into the kitchen. I looked around before flicking on the light. I felt tears stinging my eyes, and I felt the panic returning. I started breathing eratically, and I opened the cupboards.

“Rarity? Did you lie to me? You couldn't lie! I...” I stopped, remembering her face earlier. “You were in tears? You cried? Who made you cry? Was it Blue Star? I killed him already! The bad pony is gone!”

I flipped through the pages of the Death Note, looking at all the names I killed.

“It's easy, you just gotta say what the ladies wanna hear, and they'll be giving you access to their beds in no time at all.”

“Did it hurt? Your face screamed pain, right? I'm sorry! I had to kill you! You were going to hurt her. Ha! She doesn't deserve pain!” I shouted, closing the Death Note.

“GET OUT YOU LYING, MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A BOYFRIEND!” a voice rang through my head.

“Yes, you told that bastard your thoughts! He hurt you, and you decided his fate!” I shouted again, holding the Death Note on the new page once more, regardless of the blood drips.

I ran out of the boutique, stumbling as I did. My head felt dizzy and my mind was numb. I looked around the area, seeing the streets almost barren. A trail of blood followed me into the boutique as the blood dripped off me on my way there. I followed it back to the forest with my gaze, and saw a lavender mare running towards me. She had tears on her face, and she slowed down upon seeing me. She almost cowered immediately, and the silence only made it worse. Crickets chirping in the background, and clopping in the distance. I saw her, and smiled. I dropped the Death Note and ran up to Twilight. She took several steps back, shaking her head. I reached my arms out and knelt down, lifted Twilight off the ground, and hugged her.

“Mommy! I am so glad you're here! The bad pony kidnapped Rarity, but I got him! I can't find Rarity, though! I need to find my love, Twilight!” I shouted, setting Twilight down gently.

I turned and ran back to where I dropped the Death Note. I looked at it and turned around, seeing Twilight's shock at the note' cover.

“Twilight, I'm a flippin' hero! I protected Rarity with this!” I said, walking forward and flipping the pages open. I wasn't sure what page she saw, but it made her shriek.

“NO! SPIKE! TELL ME THIS IS A SICK JOKE!” she shouted.

I lowered the notebook and my expression of urgency faltered. I looked at her with confusion. Twilight continued shaking her head. I turned the page to see the names of the three ex-boyfriends. I sighed, and closed the notebook.

“Mother, I am so sorry. I never wanted this. I never wanted to kill. I accidentally killed Blueblood. After that, I couldn't stop. I was too far in, and I couldn't stop. I wasn't able to. I knew after I heard Blackhoof badmouthing Rarity, that she would hurt herself,” I said, looking down.

I glanced up to see Twilight's face with tears flowing freely, and she didn't shake her head. Her mouth moved, but no words came out. I resisted the urge to cry myself.

“I had to protect her, mother. I love her. I can't stand seeing her get hurt, and the other ponies...” I shook my head again. “I couldn't let that happen, mother! You told me that everything would work out, but I couldn't wait for that. I had to make sure she was safe,” I said, shaking the Death Note.

“No, Spike. You weren't protecting her. You were hurting her, and us. You hurt me, Spike. I love you so, so much, and I'm willing to die if it meant protecting you, but this? I would never take another pony's life to save you. The only chance of me taking a life would be to extract revenge for you, and that's just out of hot-blooded passion.” She stepped forward, closer to me. I felt my entire composure crack, and I looked down at the Death Note. “I worked so hard to catch the one responsible, Spike. Helping Rarity sleep a good night was a nice goal, cracking open this case and ending these deaths... these murders-”

Murder. This was murder. I murdered Blackhoof in cold blood, and watched his agonized face as he died.

“-no matter the reason, Spike, murder is always wrong. I love you more than anything in the world. I would fight Princess Celestia herself if it would protect you, but,” she said, looking away.

I felt my heart crack and shatter as she spoke. She looked at her hooves, before looking back up at me. Her brow was furrowed, and she sniffled.

“I can't accept this. This is murder, Spike. You've murdered many ponies, and I can't accept that,” she said, stepping closer.

I shook my head, hyperventilating even more. My eyes widened as I looked down at the lavender mare. I coarsely groaned, and my shoulders went tense. I clenched my eyes shut, and felt my body violently shaking. Her voice rang in my head.

“When you’re sick in bed, I’ll be making you soup.”

I deepened the claws on the Death Note's cover, and felt a pang of guilt rising in my chest. That nagging feeling, tugging at my heartstrings. It suffocated me, and I couldn't take it.

“When you’re carrying your bride onto your chariot, I’ll be there to congratulate you.”

I threw my arms, opened my mouth, and prepared to roar, feeling my dry throat bugging me. I felt my anger swirling around like an intense flame.

“Even if Equestria hates you as an adult, I will be there to protect you... at any cost.”

I didn't roar. I swung my arm around blindly, opening my claw and grabbing at what I thought was an appropriate time. I heard the sound of magic, halted instantly as my claws grasped a horn. My head snapped into position, and I saw Twilight's pained, scared expression.

“YOU SAID YOU WOULD PROTECT ME YOU LIAR!” I shouted, lifting Twilight off the ground.

She let out a pained scream as she slapped at my arms with her forelegs. I roared coarsely. I didn't loosen my grip, and I didn't feel remorse. I felt my claws disturbing the skin on her back, and I could see the pain on her face. But I didn't care.

“YOU LET ME USE THE DEATH NOTE! YOU DIDN'T STOP ME! AND NOW YOU BLAME IT ON ME!” I shouted, tossing Twilight away.

She flew pretty far; across the street, and was heading for a corner of a house. A purple glow surrounded her, and she gently touched down on the ground. I looked away to see Shining Armour staring me down, unable to believe what he was seeing. Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie arrived next to Shining Armour, and each of them bore horrified expressions. Rarity didn't look like she was looking at a friend dying, or a friend in pain. She looked at me like a monster, and quickly, Shining Armour stepped forward.

“STAY BACK, GIRLS!” Shining Armour shouted, his horn lighting up and his Royal Guard armour appearing on his body.

“Wait!” Rarity exclaimed, voice cracking.

Shining Armour ignored her, and immediately ran forward, his horn lighting up. I growled, falling on all fours and taking a deep breath. I unleashed an intense green flame that spread in different directions. Shining Armour generated a shield around him, and he jumped into the air. I saw him up, and stopped breathing flames. I leaned back, crossing my arms preparing for Shining Armour's hit. Nothing happened, and I instead felt the ground below me slam into my gut, knocking me up.

Shining Armour landed on the around, and he let out a grunt as his horn lit up once more. I quickly recovered, and realized that even on all fours, I was taller than Shining Armour. I glared at him, feeling the tears evaporating on my hot cheeks. I quickly spat out a gob of fire which impacted the ground right at the base of Shining Armour's legs, and he shouted from the pain. He looked down and quickly extinguished the flames. His leg armour was still steaming, but he ignored it. His horn glowed once more, and I decided no more. I lunged forward, immediately closing the distance. Shining Armour attempted to jump back, but I swung my arm forward, wrapping my claws around his forelegs. The cold metal clashed with my fiery hot body.

He yelped in pain as my grip tightened, cracking his leg armour. He still managed to focus his magic enough to create a flash bang in front of my eyes. I released my grip, instead swing my arm again to throw Shining Armour across the street. He rolled into a set of flower pots, and I felt my eyes struggling to adjust to the darkness after the flash. It was like I wore a pair of sunglasses at nighttime.

“STOP IT!” Rainbow shouted, dashing forward.

I turned my head just as Rainbow tackled me in the neck, wrapping her legs around me and using the momentum to push me over. I stumbled to the left before falling on my side. I felt Rainbow Dash pounding on my neck, but it was more like a constant pinching. It annoyed me, and I stood up effortlessly. I reached my arm up, tearing up again.

“You're loyal to your friends! Why are you attacking me? YOU LIED WITH TWILIGHT,” I shouted, grabbing her with my right claw.

Applejack let out a shout, galloping and bucking me in the wrist. Without even grabbing Rainbow, I retracted my hand, and swatted at Applejack. Applejack was quickly yanked back by a magical presence along with Rainbow Dash. Shining and Twilight yanked the two athletic ponies back. Another pony stepped forward, this recognized as Rarity. She had a pleading look in her eyes that expressed her sadness.

“Spike, please stop!” Rarity exclaimed.

I ignored her, shutting my eyes to try and forget the pain in her eyes. I killed many for her, and now, she's scared of me... no, she's not. She approached me. She wanted me to stop, but I can't. I couldn't. I had gone too far... and Twilight lied to me.

“RAH!” I shouted, swinging my head through the air while blasting fire into the skies.

I aimed at Shining Armour, and he couldn't react as he dropped Rainbow Dash. Instead, another shield appeared in front of him, and my eyes steered to the right to spot Twilight lifting Applejack and shielding Shining Armour at the same time. I stopped blasting fire and faced Twilight fully. Shining Armour's horn lit up again, but Twilight waved her hoof.

“Do not do a darn thing, Shining Armour!” Twilight exclaimed.

Rarity stepped next to Twilight, and before Twilight could object, Rarity raised a hoof. She approached me, taking slow, cautious steps. I would have attempted to roast Twilight again, just to ignore her angered, disappointed glare. Rarity's expression only seemed to have sadness and regret.

“Spike, please stop. This isn't who you are! You're not a murderous, mean dragon,” she said calmly, regardless of the commotion.

I looked to the left of her, seeing Twilight's sad look, then the right to see Shining Armour with a curious expression. The others were scared, unnaturally so. I felt my stomach tying into a knot. My chest felt a huge pressure in it, my heart beating miles a minute. I looked back to Rarity, feeling my anger starting to disappear.

“Murder. It was murder, Rarity. I...” I heard my voice cracking, and I felt the tears steaming on my face. “I... Blueblood... accident. Blackhoof was... he was using you. He was using you for your looks. He was hurting you. And the others were going to as well.” I looked around frantically, realizing that I dropped the Death Note a while back. I reached around and grabbed the Death Note, noticing how I only held it by the tips of my claws or else I'd shred it. I held it in front of Rarity.

“I didn't want to! It was an accident, but I couldn't stop after Blueblood. It was too far, and I couldn't get rid of it! I'd never live with myself! I protected you. I just wanted...” I stopped looking to Twilight. I started choking as I attempted to breathe normally. My arms shook, and the Death Note slipped out of my claws. It dropped to the ground in front of me, open, revealing the pages for the rules. “And now I hurt Twilight. And I hurt you. And I killed Blue Star. And I liked it. I can't stop. I've gone too far. I-” My legs and arms trembled. I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't. I stumbled forward, ducking down so I was below Twilight and Rarity's heads.

“I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, mom! I didn't mean to, I didn't want to! I couldn't, and I thought you would protect me! I thought you could keep me safe! I'm sorry mom! D-don't hate me!” I shouted, crying. I closed my eyes, and laid flat against the ground. I covered my face, and trembled furiously. “I'm sorry Rarity! I love you so much! I thought I was protecting you. I just... I didn't want you to be hurt by others! I just, and you with the boyfriend, and the pain of...”

I felt two sets of hooves wrapping around my head, and I opened my eyes to see Twilight and Rarity wrapping their forelegs around my head, and I couldn't speak anymore. I sobbed into their arms, and I let out all of the pain I felt up to then. The guilt, the sadness, the regret, and the knowledge that I would be finally paying for what I've done. I felt the emotions reduce me to a weeping foal, and it only served to intensify when Pinkie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash all wrapped their forelegs around me. Even with the numerous ponies blocking the path, I felt myself looking at the Death Note.

“You're welcome, Spike. I love you.”

“I fell in love, mom. I fell in love, and I've had to watch the one I love grow sadder each and every day.”

“Well, yeah. Nothing major... I just love her, is all.”

I knew love the entire time. I felt it, I received it, and I gave it. My body shrunk, and it continued to shrink. I felt their forelegs wrap around me easier as I continued to shrink until I got to a point where I was eye level with the ponies. It seems this was my true height after months of ageing. I opened my eyes, looking at Twilight. My eyes shot open, and I shoved the others away, and ran backwards towards the boutique. The smaller body reminded me of the Death Note sheets hidden in my scales. I pulled it out, and quickly attempted to start writing name into it. I heard clopping behind me, just as I turned to see Twilight creating a small firework on my hands, launching my Death Note sheet away from me. I fell onto the ground, and Twilight stopped, looking at the sheet.

“What is... 'Spiek teh Doragn?' Spike, you tried writing your name down? You tried to kill yourself?” she asked.

I rolled over, looking at Twilight from behind my bloodied arm. I saw her saddened expression, and she walked over to me. I attempted to scurry backwards, shaking my head. Twilight's horn lit up, and engulfed me entirely. I was lifted off the ground, regardless of my shaking. Twilight's forelegs engulfed me, and I felt even more regret. She was hugging me, holding onto me and nursing me like a foal in pain. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her as tight as I could without choking her. Her cradle provided comfort I couldn't comprehend.

“I l-love you, m-mom. I am so, so sorry!” I choked out.

“I don't care what it is, I will protect you, Spike. Even if it's from you,” Twilight replied, suppressing her sobs. “You're my son, and I would do anything to protect you.

“And now, here we are,” I say as I look at the Death Note.

I avert my gaze and stare at the group. Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Shining Armour... even Princess Celestia and Cadence are here. I sigh while some of them cry at my story. Princess Celestia and Cadence have expressions I can't decipher. Twilight and Rarity both carry saddened expressions.

“Well, Spike, taking the law of Equestria into account, we have every right to execute you,” Princess Celestia says, to which I close my eyes. I sigh instead of argue with Princess Celestia.

Twilight shoots up to her hooves and stares at Celestia. “I will not let you, Princess Celestia. There is no way in Tartarus that I would let that happen,” she says, expressing no fear.

Princess Celestia smiles, while Cadence frowns. I look back and forth between them, wondering what Twilight could possibly do.

“I knew you would say that. It's why I looked at all the rules of the Death Note that you asked me too, and I understand what you want to do,” the Princess replies as she sips her tea.

I raise an eyebrow, looking back to the princess, then back to Twilight. “What could possibly happen? I've done so much,” I say, shaking my head.

I hear hoofsteps, and spot white legs sitting down next to me. I look up and see Rarity's warm smile directing itself straight into my mind. I smile back and lean into her side, closing my eyes to nuzzle her without the room distracting me.

“Twilight, if this is correct, destroying the Death Note will erase all of Spike's memories of the Death Note,” I hear Princess Celestia say.

My eyes open wide, and I look over to her, just as the other ponies present stare at me.

“That will happen?” I ask, wrapping my arms around Rarity.

“Yes, it's true, Princess,” Twilight says, looking at me with her attempt at a warm smile.

“But, if I forget, I wouldn't have learned everything! I...” I look around frantically, checking my body. “I still need to write a Friendship Report! I want to tell you guys what I learned! I don't want to forget this!” I shout, shivering at the same time.

Twilight shakes her head, sadly. Once more, tears fall down my face. I shake my head. “So, all of this I'll just forget?”

I look over to the Death Note, lying on a table in the centre of the room. I didn't feel the guilt I had before... just sadness that I'd forget everything. I look around the room to the others, seeing them all giving me a solemn look. I look back to Twilight as she approaches me.

“Is there really no other way?” I finally ask. “Won't I forget everything else that's happened?”

Twilight shakes her head. “It states only your memory of the Death Note. Everything else will be untouched,” she says.

I looked to the others, seeing reassuring smiles. I look back to Rarity, seeing a tearful smile of her own. She reaches a hoof out, touching my cheek tenderly. I reach my hand up, caressing her hoof. Looking back to Twilight, I smile.

“Okay.”

Twilight levitates the Death Note as well as a metal bin. She sets the metal bin on the table, and levitates the Death Note in front of me. I look at her, confused.

“Would you like to do it, Spike?” she asks.

I look through the open window, staring at the setting sun. The gentle breeze blew through my face, and I closed my eyes. This sensation is very calming, and reminds me of the fact that I have a life. A life my friends are giving back to me. A second chance, and I couldn't be happier. I turn back to Twilight, grabbing the Death Note. I stare back down at the cover, spotting the words.

My three claw marks are on the left side of the cover, reminding me of my rage.

“YOU SAID YOU WOULD PROTECT ME YOU LIAR!”

I smirk, shaking my head. “You didn't lie to me, mom. I was being stupid,” I say, looking directly at her. She opens her mouth, but I raise a claw. “Thanks, mom.” I say, looking to the others. “Rainbow Dash, Applejack, I'm sorry I grabbed you. I don't know what would have happened if you two didn't jump in.” They both smile, no malice visible at all. I look over to Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. “I'm sorry I stole your yearbook, and scared you, Fluttershy.” Like the others, they smiled, even if Fluttershy still expresses fear. I nod, and look to Princess Celestia and Cadence. “Princesses, I am so sorry for what I did. I am so sorry I took Blueblood away from you.”

“Spike, it was an accident. This entire ordeal was an accident, and I want you to know, I don't hold any resentment towards you,” Celestia replies.

“Nor do I, Spike,” Cadence follows up.

I smile, looking back to Rarity. I feel some regret once more, and sigh.

“Rarity, I never wanted to hurt you. Even if I forget everything that has happened, I want you to know...” I start choking, feeling my tears flow once more. “I will always love you. Even if I don't act like it all the time, or if I don't...” I paused.

The tingly feeling. I quickly massaged my belly, feeling a tingle begin to intensify. Finally, I belch out a small box with a small dent on the top.

“Rarity, I got this for you several months ago. You were talking about Blackhoof, and I felt betrayed. I didn't give it to you, and I ran home like a sobbing filly.” I look up to see Rarity's bottom lip trembling, reminding me of the situation. “I threw it at a trash bin, before pulling myself together. I picked it up, and right there is when I found the Death Note. I ran home, thought it was a crude Rainbow Dash prank. I thought about who I would kill, not knowing it was a supernatural notebook.”

I opened up the box, revealing the flame-shaped ruby inside. I held it out towards Rarity, and looked over to the Death Note in my hand.

“This ruby, I looked and got specifically for you.” I tightened my grip on the notebook, and felt heat intensify. The Death Note started to burn, and I tossed it into the metal bin. “I love you, and I jus-”

She cuts me off with a kiss, completely surprising me. Rarity is kissing me. I closed my eyes, relax, and lean in myself, feeling her soft lips on my own. I'm feeling joy unlike any I've ever had before, and I don't feel guilty. Rarity pulls back a small distance, and whispers.

“I love you, Spike the Dragon.”

I smile, looking at her teary face. “Smile for me, Rarity. I don't want to see you sad ever again.” I lean back in, kissing her once more. I wrap my arms around her, and enjoy it as much as possible. I'm oblivious to the obvious looks of happiness, sadness, and such behind me, and I feel my head growing heavy. My eyes close on me, regardless of what I want. Behind me, the Death Note burns into a crisp, and finally, I fall unconscious, held onto by the arms of my love.

“So, that's how you end this? I figured you mortals would have learned after the last pony abused the notebook thousands of years ago. It took one lynching to solidify it's place as a legend. You mortals are certainly interesting... your free will, and power to change the world is incredible... and I'm sure these ponies know this lesson well; you alone, cannot change the world. Goodbye, Equestria.”

“Spike, are you done yet?” I hear my mothers voice call out.

“One sec, mom!” I shout.

I quickly stash my clothes and various books into the suitcase and attempt to close it, struggling against the tight fit. I grunt as I lean onto it, using my weight to press it closed.

“Need some help?” Twilight asks, obviously watching me struggle.

Sighing, I slide off my suitcase and turn to her. “Yeah, yeah.”

She smirks, and her horn lights up. The suitcase opens up, the items inside fly out and fold up quickly before being placed into the suitcase, and then it closes normally with no hassle. I shake my head, sighing.

“You're great, mother,” I say, shaking my head at her display.

“I am pretty great, yeah,” she replies, giggling.

I walk over to it, picking it up before looking up at the bedroom. It has a mystifying atmosphere that suddenly made it hard to leave. The tree was so familiar and reminiscent of something that's eluding my mind, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

“Shame Final Flash died. Rarity really needed a break,” I say, saluting as the sunrise peaks through the window. It gave the room a golden brilliance unmatched by anything I've ever seen. Mornings were great.

“... at least she's getting one now. I'm so excited that the others agreed to come with us on the Zebra homeland vacation!” Twilight exclaims, clopping her hooves.

I smirk. “Yeah, I just can't believe that I'm going to be with Rarity on a twenty-four/seven basis.”

I feel a weird sensation in my head, to which I quickly respond by rubbing my temple. Twilight looks at me as I stare at my bed.

“Something wrong, Spike?” she asks.

I don't catch her nervous glance, focusing on the pain. I sigh after I realize it wasn't leaving, and turn to her.

“I just feel like I forgot something important, mom. Like there's a gap in my memory,” I say, chuckling sheepishly.

She chuckles as well, waving a hoof. “C'mon, we're already keeping the others waiting.”

She walks down the stairs, and I sigh. I look back at the room, specifically at my bed. I have this weird, nagging feeling in my chest. I shake it off, etching in the memory of the last time I'll see the room for the next month. I nod, smiling at the warm scenery.

“I'll need a bigger bed, soon. Old one's too small,” I say before turning and walking into the stair case. I give the room one more look, shaking off the weird feeling in my head, locked the door, and closed it.

The nightmare was over.