Glass Slipper sighed deeply, probably for the hundredth time since she had come home. She had completely ignored her little sisters and had run straight for her room, before they could notice the tear-stains on her cheeks.
Right now, she lay sprawled out on her bed in a nearly dark room. She had shut the blinds and the only light that made it inside was the sliver of evening sunlight.
The teenage filly hadn’t moved for an hour now, not since she stopped crying, when the door slowly opened. Her eyes rolled around and on the edge of her vision, she recognized a familiar turquoise glow, which made her sigh again
“Hey Mom…”
“Hello, Angel.”
Despite her sour mood, Glass Slipper smiled at her pet name from Crystal Note. She rolled on her belly and watched as her mom floated a cup of tea towards her. Knowing her well enough, Crystal Note set it down within reach of her daughter-in-heart, so she could get it when she felt ready. She took a seat on one of the many cushions on the floor so her eyes were on level with Glass Slipper. She had her usual calm smile, but Glass Slipper knew the pony who had become her mother well enough to notice details. She saw that special glow in her turquoise eyes, a mix of care and love she only held when she was with Glass Slipper or her sisters. She also saw the slight tint of worry.
Glass Slipper sighed again and waited. Crystal Note stayed silent, with practiced patience and that gentle smile on her face. Glass Slipper knew her mom wouldn’t start talking, not until she knew Glass Slipper was ready. Taking her time to sort out where to start, Glass Slipper finally gave up and dived right in
“Onyx ran away from our date.”
Crystal Note’s smile immediately faded
“Oh, sweetheart. I’m sorry.”
Glass Slipper just sighed again and swallowed the new tears she felt already
“He was nice at first but when we started talking, he got nervous. I told him about our trips to Vanhoover and Ponyville.”
“He didn’t take it too well, I guess.”
Glass Slipper pressed her eyes shut and shook her head
“He said he had to step out for a minute. I didn’t think anything about it, but when he didn’t return after half an hour…”
She trailed off and sobbed as the tears now leaked out again. Almost immediately, she felt the familiar soft touch on the top of her head. She opened her teary eyes and saw Crystal Note standing close, softly rubbing the top of her head, just like her mother used to do. Glass Slipper sat up a little and eagerly leaned into the soft hug as Crystal Note’s hooves gently wrapped around her. The teenage filly tucked her head under Crystal Note’s chin and as she hoped, she was pulled closer against the mare. She enjoyed being held for a while and the feeling of safety it brought her.
Crystal Note held her gently and as always allowed Glass Slipper to break the embrace, when she was ready. Tonight, Glass Slipper stayed close for minutes before she felt confident enough to talk
“Mom? Is it always this hard to find a special somepony? Or am I just hopeless?”
Crystal Note gently kissed the top of her filly’s head and whispered
“Oh sweetheart, you’re not hopeless. You’re a wonderful young mare, Glass Slipper. You’re confident and driven and you don’t give up easily. And while this helps you fulfil your dreams even against the odds, some stallions tend to get intimidated by such confidence. They get nervous, they even get scared sometimes. Some even get angry when a mare is seemingly braver than they are.”
Glass Slipper groaned and slumped more against her mom
"So, when I told Onyx I travelled out of the Crystal Empire, he felt threatened. I just didn’t want him to think I’m boring.”
Crystal Note giggled gently and nuzzled her mane
“I know, Angel. But sometimes, what we try to say and what others think we’re saying don’t match up.”
Glass Slipper sighed deeply and gently pulled out of the embrace, only so she could look at Crystal Note again
“Mom… you think maybe I should… act differently? Less confident, maybe?”
“No, sweetheart. I think that’s the absolute worst you can do. Either a stallion can accept you the way you really are, or he’s not fit to be your special somepony.”
Crystal Note spoke with conviction, but Glass Slipper noticed that far-away look in her eyes
“It might hurt in the moment, but if you keep pretending, it would only hurt both of you even more later on…”
Crystal Note trailed off and stared into the distance, until Glass Slipper leaned in to nuzzle her shoulder gently
“Mom?”
The mare blinked and frowned when she noticed the worried expression from Glass Slipper
“Did… did you ever have a special somepony, Mom?”
Crystal Note smiled tenderly at her little filly
“A few times, I thought I had, Glass Slipper. But it didn’t turn out right in the long run.”
“Why not?”
“That’s not easy to say. I had my dreams, they had theirs and we didn’t match up. I loved to travel, but they were looking for a home. I guess at some point, I just stopped searching for a significant other. If there is a pony out there for me, we will meet when we are ready. And right now, I have three very special fillies I love with all my heart.”
Glass Slipper managed a soft giggle as Crystal Note leaned in to gently kiss her forehead and nuzzle her cheek. That moment of mirth passed quickly as she had another thing nagging on her mind
“Does it always hurt like this?”
Crystal Note took a deep breath
“No, Glass Slipper. I don’t think so. I’ve parted with ponies who understood it didn’t work out, I even managed to stay friends with them. I wouldn’t call myself an expert, though. I’m afraid I’ve learned more from sappy love songs than from first-hoof-experience.”
Again, Glass Slipper and Crystal Note snickered for a moment, before an unusual hardness filled Crystal Note’s eyes
“But I do know that when it hurts, it’s some of the worst pain there is.”
Glass Slipper held her breath. She could almost feel the pain just from the mare’s voice, so she hesitated. When her curiosity won over, she only managed a single word
“Mom?”
Crystal Note stared at the wall behind Glass Slipper and whispered
“Do you remember how you felt when Silver Sword hurt your feelings? He was your first crush, that’s always hard when it turns out bad.”
Glass Slipper hesitated, but then leaned in and gently put her head on her mom’s shoulder. She felt her hooves wrap around her again, as Crystal Note drifted into the past.
I remember my first real crush. It happened back when I was still travelling from town to town with little more than my violin and my music. I had some sort of breakthrough with my songs back then, nothing really big, but enough for some ponies to know of me. I had just left Ponyville to try on my own hooves. I earned most of my bits by playing in parks and public places, with the odd gig at a bar here and there. On one of those trips, I met him.
He was in the audience when I sang for a few dozen ponies in Las Pegasus. I was pretty confident back then and he approached me after to tell me he was impressed by my voice. I didn’t really think much of it back then, but he mentioned he was in a rock band. Rock music was still very new back then, so I was intrigued to learn more. He invited me to their next gig and I went there. In hindsight, their music wasn’t stellar but the way he sang and played his electric guitar, he carried so much energy and drive into his music. It also didn’t hurt that he was a handsome stallion as well. I talked to him after the show, and next morning we met for breakfast. Just to talk about music, of course.
He was very charming and weaved in compliments whenever he could get away with it. He had a strong voice, but could be soft as velvet as well. Combine that with his good looks and… yeah. I had a crush on him. It felt so right, you know? I was trying to make myself a name in music business and he had a band and already made the first steps. He was funny, charming, he had an incredible stage presence, and when he first kissed me… it was amazing. He played his songs for me, just him and me and his guitar. I noticed a few flaws, but when I told him, he wasn’t mad at all. He appreciated my input and together, we worked hard to perfect his songs. I met the other ponies of the band too, and they were all nice. At the same time though, they always kept some distance to me. I didn’t understand why back then, I thought maybe they didn’t want to get between him and me.
He got bigger gigs soon, and his band gained a lot of fans. We never performed together, but I had a hoof in nearly all of his songs back then. I noticed he wouldn’t talk with me about much else than his music when that happened. We also didn’t spend any meaningful time together anymore, never just the two of us. There was always the band somewhere involved. I didn’t want to worry back then. He had hit a gig on a big music festival, a massive breakthrough for the band, so I thought he just wanted to be prepared as best as he could. We’d been together a few months already, so I had noticed his insatiable ambition by then.
I was getting worried, but then I found something. He had written a new song without telling me, and not just any song, a love song. Of course, I immediately thought he had written it for me. Maybe he wanted to surprise me with it, so I never asked him about it. What I did instead was learn his song. I practiced on my own, in secret, or with some of the band. They said that it might not be a good idea, but we’ve become friends over the weeks, so they supported me.
Finally, the day of the festival came. We were excited. He saw his chance to become big in the music scene. I saw the perfect opportunity to surprise him with his own song. The band proposed that they should start the show with his new song and he went for it.
I was backstage, waiting for my sign. As I said, I wasn’t a big number by far, in fact I hadn’t had any performances while we were together, nor did I write any new songs. So when the band played the intro to his song, everypony was surprised to see me walk on stage and take my place at the microphone. He certainly was very surprised. He was the lead singer of the band and when he sang the intro, I matched him perfectly. It was the first time we had ever been on stage together and singing with him, singing a love song he wrote for me, I felt like flying.
When the first verse set in, I took over the singing part. I had practiced with the band, so they knew my style and we harmonized within seconds. I knew he would be watching me, so I put everything I had into the song. I literally poured my heart and my soul into his song. I wanted him to realize how strong my feelings for him really were. I wanted him to fall in love with me just like I had. I faintly remember the crowd went wild while I sang, but I didn’t care. I was only singing for him, nothing else mattered.
The verse finished and we reached the refrain. I opened my eyes again to look at him. As expected, he joined in with singing again, but I never expected to see that look in his eyes. He was scowling at me. He was glaring daggers at me, I could feel his anger boil inside him. I was baffled by it, I couldn’t understand. I sang on autopilot, until we reached the second verse. The band slipped in to back me up again, but before I could sing even the first line, he went wild on his guitar. He started an intense solo and his electric guitar howled over everything else. The band didn’t know what to do, some just stopped playing altogether, but he just went on with his solo that didn’t even remotely match the song any more. The way he played was so aggressive, so furiously angry.
The crowd couldn’t make sense of it either. The cheers faded and they just stared at the stage. I tried to salvage whatever was left of his beautiful song, but when I started singing, he jumped at me. He shoved me away and he threw over the microphone, with angry eyes as he tortured his guitar.
When I saw his eyes, I suddenly knew it. He didn’t love me. He never had. All the time we spent together, I suddenly saw without the rose-tinted goggles. He was using me for his song, for his music, as a final push for his career. He got this gig because of my help, and now the crowd, his crowd, cheered on me instead. At this point, he never loved me. He hated me with a burning passion.
I glanced to the others, and I saw the guilt on their faces. They had known all the time, of course. I should have known, should have listened to them, but I chose to be blind instead.
He kept shredding his guitar, and I felt shredded as well, every chord was like a sharp cut. I was scared and angry at the same time, and so hurt. So I left. I didn’t run, but I didn’t turn back even once. I just walked off stage, into whatever direction. Before his song had ended, I had already left the festival grounds. Before his concert ended, I was already in a train that left town. I didn’t even know where I was going, I had just jumped into the first train I could find. I don’t even remember if I bought a ticket or not.
We never saw each other again. I had this hope that maybe he’d come after me and apologize, but deep down I knew it wouldn’t happen. He just moved on, but I fell to pieces. Years later, I ran into somepony from his old band again. She told me that the band had fallen apart soon after, and he had moved on, to bigger stages. I read his name every now and then, heard some songs he produced, but to this day I never met him again. It only lasted for a few months, but it changed the way I looked at other ponies. I backed away when anypony tried to get closer in such a way again. Once bitten, twice shy, as they say.
It hurt a lot, but it also made me stronger, wiser in a way. Sometimes, a wonderful thing can end up hurting you, Glass Slipper. No two ponies ever get together without hurting each other at some point, no matter how much they love each other. What’s important is to see if their love is stronger than the pain. If it is, they will get past anything and their love will be even deeper. That’s what I choose to believe. If your love is not strong enough to heal the pain, it’s not worth suffering. If your love can help you through the hurt though, you and your significant other will be able to face just anything, as long as you’re together.
Glass Slipper blinked when she realized that her mom had stopped talking for a while now. She angled her head to look up at her, but Crystal Note was still staring ahead at nothing. Glass Slipper pressed gently into the hooves that were still holding her safe. She softly nuzzled against her mom to share comfort with the mare and she was rewarded with a gentle squeeze. Their eyes met and they could smile again. Glass Slipper’s pain was still fresh, Crystal Note’s was long passed, but together they could face it.
When the teenage filly felt good enough, she finally wiggled out of the embrace. Crystal Note smiled softly
“Feeling better, Little Angel?”
“Yeah. Thanks Mom.”
She giggled as her mom nuzzled the ticklish spot behind her ear
“You’re welcome, dear. I know you won’t let one bad moment hold you down for long. There’s a pony out there just waiting for you, Glass Slipper.”
The filly giggled even more and nudged with her hoof
“You sound like an old grandmother! You could totally go out and find a date too, you know.”
Crystal Note nodded but didn’t hide her blush
“Well, maybe. But I wouldn’t even know where to start right now. Or how.”
Glass Slipper grinned and nudged again
“Maybe you don’t have to look too far.”
At this, Crystal Note only blushed more but they both giggled
“Right now, your sisters and you are my life, and I wouldn’t want it any other way, Darling.”
“But, we’re no babies anymore, so I’m sure you’d get the chance if you tried.”
“You’re rather persistent, Glass Slipper. Is there anything I should know?”
Instead of answering, Glass Slipper just smirked and jumped back on her hooves. She’d already spent enough time moping she decided. Crystal Note just chuckled softly and made her way out the teenager’s room again, she knew very well when words weren’t necessary.
Glass Slipper, despite the late hour, felt restless. Not about teasing Crystal Note, she knew her mom could take that, but she found her thoughts circling about the story she had shared with her. Something had been missing but she couldn’t put her hoof on it.
Her ears perked up when she heard an unfamiliar sound from downstairs. She climbed down the stairs, following the sound she soon recognized as an electric guitar. She knew Crystal Note owned one, but she also knew that it had been a joke gift from her friends in Ponyville and she’d never actually seen the mare use it. She sneaked towards Crystal Note’s study and peaked through the half-opened door.
Crystal Note sat by the window and stared out into the night, the flickering light of a few candles sent shadows dancing over the walls. Her coat had changed into a feint grey and she held the electric guitar in her hooves, but she wasn’t playing. Glass Slipper realized that the music had to come from the record player instead and now that she was closer, she also recognized the voice of a stallion singing a rock ballad as it seemed. The far-away look on Crystal Note made it easy for the teenager to guess to whom she was listening. The story had stirred up some old emotions and Glass Slipper knew how her mom dealt with those, so she waited silently.
Crystal Note hadn’t noticed her at all and she kept staring into nothing even when the record ended, her coat still dull and grey. Soon, she moved and the guitar came to life in her hooves. She strummed a few chords but after a minute, she played the same song Glass Slipper had just heard from the record, only a slower version of it, like a sad reflection of the ballad. The teenage filly just now realized that she’d never seen Crystal Note play without her eyes closed before, but the mare surprised her even more when she started to sing while still staring at the darkness outside
When I look into your eyes
There’s nothing left for me.
Nothing but my own mistakes
Staring back at me,
Asking why…
Why I stay
When you just push away
No matter what you see
You’re still so blind to me
Glass Slipper’s ears flopped down when she heard the pain in Crystal Note’s voice. Even though it had been years, the events of the past still haunted the mare. Glass Slipper didn’t wait for the end of the song and walked into the study. Not even trying to hide her tears, she went straight to Crystal Note’s side and sat down close, leaning against the mare to share company and, more importantly, comfort. It was what family does for each other and just like Crystal Note had come to her to share her pain, Glass Slipper now wanted nothing more than to do the same for her mom. The teenage filly knew, better than other ponies of her age, that she couldn’t take a mother for granted, so now she didn’t hesitate to be there for her mom, like Crystal Note had been for her as well so many times.
Crystal Note appreciated Glass Slipper’s presence more than she could show. Even though there was still hurt in her eyes, her lips curled into a soft smile and she leaned towards her daughter, resting against her as she played another song and yet another, each of them carrying the same sadness.
Glass Slipper knew better than to interrupt. She knew that Crystal Note needed this just like she had needed to mope and vent. Just like she had learned from her mom, she waited patiently but always stayed close. When Crystal Note finally set her instrument away with a heavy sigh, her hooves wrapped around her middle and the mare pressed gently into the embrace. Glass Slipper smiled when she noticed the hooves that reached out for her weren’t grey anymore.
They stayed like this, soaking up each other’s presence and comfort, in peaceful silence. Glass Slipper couldn’t hold back a yawn at some point, both exhausted from a long day but also emotional turmoil. Crystal Note could easily relate and gently nuzzled the top of her head
“We should get some sleep while we still can, dear. Off to bed with you, Slipper.”
Glass Slipper nodded with another yawn and pulled out of the embrace. She turned towards the door but slowed when she realized Crystal Note wasn’t following her. After a moment of doubt, she went with the first thing that had come to her mind
“Goodnight Mom. Love you.”
The filly beamed in a smile when Crystal Note’s eyes closed with a happy sigh and beautiful sparkles started dancing over her coat. With a look of pride and love, her mom returned her smile
“Love you too, Little Angel. Sweet dreams.”