//------------------------------// // This is How I Disappear // Story: The Nightmare Procession // by Dashie04 //------------------------------// I lied that day Awake in bed Thoughts ricocheted inside my head. I pondered the time Among the living dead. And wondered what to do instead. Stuck inside a tornado of pain I had to find a way to make a change. I had been lying in the bed/chair for what felt like several months. It had been 30 minutes, I was left alone, but I gave them the names of Goldflower, Grainy, and Granite. I presumed they’d used that information to invite my acquaintances into my room. So they of course could be busy and not let me spend any time with them. I’m surprised that when I ran into them in high school, they gave me a solid chance. I had a feeling that they don’t know all the things I did. All the stealing I’d done to get by, all the rules I flagrantly violated. I was better then than I was before that. But still, there was something about my behavior that made me wonder if they knew, and still know, anything about me. The hospital room was barren. Nothing of interest, not even another riveting book. I didn’t want to fall asleep that day, I didn’t want to fall asleep ever again. Sure, my skull would torture me throughout, but the worst form of torture was being dead. Nogriffon cared for each other, so my funeral would probably be attended by five whole griffons. Absolutely nothing, and if any of them found out what I’d done, there’d be less than that. That’d be how I’d disappear. What did I do? Well, in younger years, I’d be so starved for attention that I’d resort to stealing just to be noticed. Every griffon who had any gold, I’d take that gold from them. They’d notice me alright, but most of them didn’t give two flying feathers about it. Whenever I got home, I’d sit, read that same book I’d read a million times, and wonder why my parents weren’t there to stop me. Same thing with violating rules, I’d engage in underage drinking, just because I wanted something unique. I managed to stop doing that, mostly, but still, it was in my past, and I couldn’t change that. Who hurt me? I’d prefer not to talk about it... My thoughts were mercifully interrupted when I saw Granite enter the room. He sure came to the hospital quickly. “Geode?” he asked. “Yeah... I’m here,” I said. “I heard the news,” he mentioned, stepping up to my bed/chair. “Are you still trying to enact that rebellion?” “Yes, I have to find some way to affect the future,” I replied. “Why are you so hung up on that?” he inquired. I was silent. I didn’t want to say anything, my thoughts had broken me apart enough already. Granite, seeing no response, awkwardly got up and went to the door, before stating. “I’ll be back, Geode, think about it.” “Trust me, I’ve done enough thinking,” I mumbled to no one in particular. Another half hour of silence with my own thoughts. I really hated this sudden innate fixture on the past. My brain loved to pull the most traumatic experiences out for me, ones I’d tried to avoid for the longest time. Well, my mortality was suddenly appearing, and I took the time and realized how much I’d fucked up. Soon, I saw Grainy approach in my eyesight. I saw them approaching my bed, just like Granite, and I reluctantly sat up to look at them better. “So,” they conceded, “I’m guessing this isn’t the huge event you had in mind.” I shook my head. “What will you do now, because you still owe me a little gold...” I glared at them, not wanted right now. “Look, can you talk?” they asked. “Yeah,” I responded, “I can talk just fine. Mostly. I just love talking so much in this state.” Grainy thankfully understood my sarcasm, they laughed. “What will you do now?” “I don’t know, but I have to find some way to affect the future,” I said. Grainy walked away, looked behind them, and waved a wing at me, before they added, “I hope you figure something out.” I waved back at them. Me too. There was another bout of silence that day, I’ll skip over that moment, because you’re probably getting tired of all the sadness. Where’s the love story? Where’s the rebellion? Where’s the story? Well, truth be told, there wasn’t too much, but I tried my hardest before I died, but that’s a different part of the time I died. Another familiar griffon decided to visit, me, Goldflower. The golden griffon came into the room, and I immediately perked up. As mentioned, I cared about her the most. She was always fun to talk to. She always seemed to know what to say. In her usual way, Goldflower flew up beside my bed to get closer to me. I don’t know why she liked being close to me, maybe she just cared about me, too. “Man, you just had to get a terminal disease, didn’t you? You just couldn’t live a little longer.” She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. “Life’s a bitch sometimes,” I told her. “I know, it’s just that you were my only friend then I met Grainy and Granite, the other friends you had. They actually seemed to like me. Nogriffon seemed to like me before.” Wait. She just called me her friend. Not acquaintance, not pest, friend. Didn’t she know that griffons didn’t do friends? “Goldflower, you know griffons don’t do friends—“ “I know, Geode!” she shouted. “But when I think of you, you aren’t anything but, you’re friends, plain and simple. Then there’s you, Geode—“ She was completely crying. Any other words that came out of her beak were unintelligible. She collapsed onto me and hugged me like it was the last time she ever would. Her tears ran down my upright body, and more kept on coming. “Goldflower, stop, I’m a bad griffon.” She looked up at me, tears still welling up in her eyes. “And you think I’m not? Rebellion is fun now and then. I’m surprised you gave me a chance, all the things I did...” I responded, “You wouldn’t like me either. I stole, lied, and did bad things. Now, I have no way to change the future.” “Who said you didn’t?” Goldflower mentioned. Her tears seemed to have dried a little. “I say we get out of here and get you talking to as many griffons as you can, what’s keeping you alive anyhow? It’ll be fun!” I mean, I did want to leave, and spending time with Goldflower, my closest acquain— friend, sounded great. So, I took her up on it. I decided to try and spread what I was trying to do to as many griffons as possible.