//------------------------------// // Shadow of the Rainbow: Such Dreadful Little Ponies // Story: The Pony Dreadfuls Rise Again // by No one is home //------------------------------// “Where were you last night?”  Doctor Whatserface had her most super serious face on.  I am never gonna bother to learn her name. “I was the box of matches Jimmy left in the drop plate on his way out.” I explained cheerfully, “Then I was the quarter shitty guard Joe, don’t know his name, was petty enough to pocket on his way back in.  Spent  a few hours  as a cockroach in the staff lunch room before I made my way back to the bathrooms where you don’t have cameras.  Went biped because I sometimes strangely miss urinals, and wandered out in the hall in all my glory, because honestly, I was tired of the game by then.  Then Ass Breath Mc Slappy caught me, and I was here, and you asked me where I was last night… and now that you mention it I would LOVE hayfries with that.  Everypony LOVES hayfries right?” The poor earth pony filly at the cash register simply blinked.  It was beautiful, and then Dust opened her mouth, “Could you NOT get us kicked out of a local hayburger joint for once?!?!” -=-=-=-=- He.. she… It’s the worst.  It is the worst.  I Hate it! “Why do you make everything weird?!?!” It is the most honest thing I’ve ever screamed at anypony. “I just asked for hay fries,  everypony LOVES hayfries,” the words from it’s stupid face just make the face easier to punch, it just laughs at me.  I hate it. Now we’ve  been kicked out of Hayburger again, and somehow it's MY fault?  I punched its stupid face to STOP it from getting us kicked out of Hayburger again. How is this MY fault? -=-=-=-=- The legend had a twist in this case.  It was true. Pegasus fillies were given the choice to “entertain” the earth pony factory bosses or face disgrace and be pushed out and be declared “Useless and Unfit.”  For those who made too much noise, the gears were always thirsty… There were many accidents at the Fillydephia Rainbow factory.  All too often they befell young female workers who made too much noise.  But as the wheels of the factory were greased by the blood of the workers, the wheels of justice were greased by the money of the factory owners.  Industrial accidents were a common tragedy ofthe times.  If one factory saw these accidents at a slightly higher rate that silenced potential scandal… well a well paid judge would see no evidence of crime. It was important that I maintained a clinical view of this.  The crimes we were investigating were inevitably linked to crimes one hundred years in the past.  The pounding in my head demanded that there were guilty, terrible ponies who escaped justice, who needed to be  punished. I fought back the dark urge… reminding myself both that it was the reason I found myself in such dreadful company, and that there was no one left alive to punish.  Time had marched on.  The wicked and the corrupt had lived full lives in comfort.  The dark, violent voice that hid behind my intelectual facade growled angrily to “Make them pay”, when there was no one to make pay. “Yeah, boss,” the abomination sneered, “I’d know that look in the mirror if they let me have a mirror in my cell.  You wanna kill somepony.  Nothing to be ashamed of…” It’s broken laugh as I broke it’s jaw… it resonated oddly. -=-=-=-=- The scarred mare spoke evenly, “T..there was a… a moment… one half  of a second, where I… I almost ran ahead of Sour to open the package first… i… it was supposed to be a funny prank.  We k...knew it was going to blow up in our faces… b… but… I’m sorry, Mr. Skrye… it’s all my fault!  We thought it was going to  be a prank… i..it should have been me...” The detective listened numbly to the hysterical filly.  His niece was gone.  This poor filly was scarred in body and soul for the rest of their life.  Someone had to pay!  Deep in his soul a dark voice boiled forth that somepony had to make them pay! And someone had.  The Little Queen of Lower Canterlot, the Canterlot Mangler.  The detective had followed the stories as sparsely as they had been reported.  He called in what favors he had to obtain what few case files there were before a door slammed shut, literally and metaphorically in his face.  The names of the Pastel Family simply disappeared from record. -=-=-=-=- “Kay, pretty sure ya cracked a bone there boss man,” I smiled my best you just busted my face and I am prevented from murdering you with all the stabby smile, “I’m gonna take some drugs now for the pain.  Yes they are very illegal in the universe I brought em in from.  Don’t worry, you ponies haven’t learned to make ‘em illegal here yet…” “That bet does NOT count!”  Dusty Canyon snaps. “I told you I could break him.  First day in the field, “I followed *all* the rules Dusty Crotch, no pretending I was Mr. N, and no pressing buttons about his niece.  I know a psychopath when I see one.” “Fine I’ll recreate the photo shoot from the calendar,” Dusty Muff grumbles to my amusement. “I just want the before and after pictures,”  I laugh uncontrollably as the cocktail that I’m pretty sure contains cough syrup hits my bloodstream. “I really hate you.”