//------------------------------//
// A Letter From Our Fiends 
// Story: A Splendid Little Fanfic 
// by Turdy1 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 3: A Letter from Our Fiends

"No shit, huh?" John replied as he shook Michael's hand. Twilight, meanwhile, was on the verge of a nerdgasm.

"Omigosh! Two humans? In here? I NEED to tell the princesses about this! SPIKE!" The little purple dragon emerged from an upstairs.

"What do you- oh, uh…" The little dragon was taken aback by the presence of two members of a long forgotten branch off the Equestria evolutionary tree. "Yo." Was John's simple greeting. Still staring at the humans, he continued, "So, ah, what do you need, Twilight?"

"Spike, take a letter." The dragon grabbed a nearby quill and a piece of paper, but John yanked it out of his claws.

"Can I write the letter please!" John begged. "Yeah, could I also write a letter to the princess? I have a few questions." Michael chimed in. "Uh, sure…" Spike gave John his quill and paper, while Twilight handed Michael a blank scroll and an extra quill.

"Dear Princess Celestia," The unicorn began, "My friends have found not one, but two humans. This is undoubtedly one of the greatest things anyone has found. I will eagerly await your response."

"…Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle." John finished. Twilight raised an eyebrow. "How did you know I was going to say that?" "I'm psychotic like that." The human answered. "I mean Psychic. Mike, you done yet?" The other human put the finishing touched on his letter before handing it to Spike. The dragon took the two letters and promptly toasted them, the smoke floating out the windows.

"So, how long will it take to get a reply?" Michael asked. "Considering the contents of the letter, I would imagine we will get a response soon." Twilight answered. As they waited, John commented, "Your a lot taller than I was expecting, Mike."

(Meanwhile, in Canterlot…)

Princess Celestia was sitting at the balcony, enjoying a nice salad, when drifting towards her came two trails of smoke. Either her bout with drugs forty years ago was coming back to haunt her, or her student Twilight Sparkle had something important to tell her. Usually, it was the latter. The scroll appeared before her, but it was joined by a second one. This was unusual, to say the least. She telekinetically grabbed both letters and opened the first. She was surprised to find, not a letter well thought out written in Spike's handwriting, but a profanity riddled message in someone else's:

Dear Princess Fucking Celestia,
Holy fucking shit there are fucking humans in my motherfucking library. You fucking need to get the fuck over here right fucking now.
Your faithful fucking student, Twilight Fucking Sparkle.

She did a double take, not sure of what to make of the letter. On one hoof, it looked like someone got into her student's supply of royal scrolls to play pranks on her. This was actually pretty tame compared to the genitalia covered letter she received last time. On the other hoof, only more intellectual ponies knew about humans. She hoped the second letter would provide an explanation. This letter was from a "Michael Blackburn," and was clearly written by a different pony:

Princess Celestia,

I am Michael Blackburn, a human who has been brought to Equestria through means I do not understand. I fear I may never be able to return home to my guns, so I must make the best of things in this world. I wonder, do you have a military? I need a job, and that's my ticket. I would love to meet you in person, and tell your sister I said hi, and that I love looking at stars too.

-Michael L Blackburn, (your human buddy)(hopefully)

She was stunned, more than ever. There was definitely one human, as well as the possibility of a second one, each with a different demeanor. She immediately brought the letters to her sister Luna. As Luna read them, Celestia spoke.

"In the texts from long ago, humans ushered peace and wisdom…Equestria may be on the verge of a new golden age!" Luna nodded as she dropped the letters and said "I personally can't wait to meet them, Blackburn especially. It's nice to know SOMEPONY likes the night!"

Celestia prepared a response to her "student's" letters.

There is admittedly one huge problem when writing this.  I live in Connecticut, while Michael lives in Texas.  This means that, not only is it hard to write large conversations, but it makes it hard for our different writing styles to mesh together properly.  But, what can you do?

Also, i'm wondering where I got the Psychotic/Psychic thing from.  I want to say the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, but I'm not sure...