Chapter Three
Spell Bound
The Great and Powerful Trixie was not crying.
Any performer worth their salt was familiar with failure and disappointment. After all, great performances were built on closed doors more so than open ones. A stiff upper lip, an unwavering resolve, the ability to shrug off the hurt and sting of things not going their way—these were the marks of a great performer.
And Trixie was definitely a great performer.
Yet, here she was. Maybe she wasn’t as good as she thought.
Still, she was not crying, or at least that’s what she told herself as she leaned against the side of the building, locked out of the side-entrance that would have led her to the school’s auditorium. She was frustrated, understandably. She was tired. She was confused. And as she sat on the cold concrete floor and curled up against herself, she could even admit to being embarrassed and ashamed.
But Trixie, even now, would not admit to crying.
In the distance she could still hear the sounds of celebration, music and lights distilled like spectres in the night, carried by the wind as if to haunt her for her foolishness.
And she had been foolish.
When the Dazzlings had been defeated by the Rainbooms, Trixie had felt the shockwave wash over her, cleansing her from their influence. Most in the crowd had blinked dazily, unaware of what they had just experienced, but for CHS students, for Trixie, the experience was disturbingly familiar. With the mind control gone, flashes began to assert themselves through her memory, hazy dreamlike images of impossible creatures and spectral unicorns, and of her classmates once again performing feats of magic unlike anything she could hope to replicate with her illusions.
As was the case with Sunset’s takeover, the memories were blurry and it was hard to focus on them for any real measure of time, but it was enough. Trixie knew what the Dazzlings did to her, what Adagio did to her.
While the whole of the crowd cheered and celebrated to pumping music and a lightshow, Trixie was forced to endure the shattering of an identity she had barely begun to grapple with, as the object of her affection scampered away from her, possibly forever. The cheering, the smiling, the laughter, had been too much for her then, and so she had fled, seeking comfort from the one place she thought she’d find it.
I guess this spot isn’t too bad a substitute, she thought, hugging her knees closer to herself.
What Trixie needed right now was solitude and, if nothing else, this space provided it. Every once in a while, a wayward student or two would walk by on their way to their ride, but they’d been too busy and distracted to notice a tearful girl on the edge of a breakdown. Which had suited her just fine. And at the very least, it was quiet, comparatively.
She pressed her hands to her ears, hoping to deafen herself against the dregs of music slowly drifting through the night, finding it useless.
At least the laughter won’t follow me here.
“Trixie? Are you crying?”
A moment passed in silence during which various unkind phrases crossed through Trixie’s mind, before she slowly raised her face, meeting the gaze of two of the last people she wanted to see at that moment, Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie.
“Yeah, you’re not looking so good,” Sunset added, a look of concern on her face.
“Trixie is fine,” Trixie said, wiping at her face, mascara staining her sleeve. “And no, she is not crying. You are delusional.”
“Right,” Sunset said, crossing her arms. She took a short breath. Took a quick glance at Pinkie and then at the path they’d probably been walking on, all things Trixie noted.
“You don’t seem fine,” Pinkie said, crouching to be face to face with Trixie. “People who are fine tend to smile more. Trixies who are fine also tend to yell more too.”
Trixie bristled at the increased closeness and maintained her silence, looking away from the inquisitive blue eyes that seemed to peer into her.
“Is it because you didn’t win?” Sunset asked, inserting herself back into the conversation. “Because that’s not really a fair fight. Your band did really well, but you were up against two bands with literal magic. You shouldn’t take that personally.”
“Maybe it’s because I’m tired of being mind controlled,” Trixie snapped, locking eyes with Sunset, a snarl on her face. “Ever think of that?”
Trixie wasn’t sure why she said it, but she knew what result it would have as the words left her mouth. The effect was immediate.
Drooping shoulders. Averted gaze. Hands in pockets. Rapid blinking. Trixie watched. She’s done.
“Right, that makes sense,” Sunset mumbled, turning around. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Trixie maintained her glare as Sunset began to walk away, but dropped it at Pinkie’s sad expression. The girl stood up and stopped Sunset by the hand.
“She didn’t mean that,” Pinkie said softly. “She’s just upset and wanted to upset you. Whatever has her all frowny has nothing to do with you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yeah I do,” Pinkie continued, stepping closer and giving Sunset a comforting hug. “So would you if you weren’t always so ready to take the blame for things that aren’t yours. You’re so selfish sometimes.”
Sunset shrugged in her arms and Trixie noticed Pinkie wince. Pinkie then turned to look at her, a pleading look in her eyes. Trixie began to feel the impulse to roll her eyes in response, but stopped before she could begin.
Looking at Pinkie, really looking at her, something seemed wrong about her eyes. There was such sadness there, sadness that didn’t belong. Those eyes weren’t made for pleading.
She could feel her bitterness cooling by degrees.
Oh fine, Trixie took a deep breath.
“She’s right,” Trixie said loudly. “Trixie was trying to hurt you. It’s obvious you’re still self-conscious about the Fall Formal so she took a cheap shot at you. You’re not why she’s upset. You should listen to your friend.”
“Oh.”
“See!” Pinkie exclaimed, tightening her hug. “You don’t get to be upset today. Not after what we all just did!”
A small smile appeared on Sunset’s face as she melted into the hug. However, that smile creased into a frown as her eyes landed on Trixie once again.
“That was pretty messed up,” she said, disengaging from the hug.
“Yeah, guess it was,” Trixie responded with a shrug.
“But it’s over now,” Pinkie interjected, sensing the tension. “Listen Sunny, she isn’t feeling hunky dory right now. She’s going to say things she doesn’t mean. It’s probably not fair to hold her to everything she says when she is mad, is it?”
Pinkie stared at Sunset for a moment, an unspoken conversation that Trixie could not decipher taking place through eye contact alone. Eventually, Sunset gave in.
“No, I guess not.”
“Right,” Pinkie continued. “I figured. So, since Trixie is still upset and is probably going to keep getting on your bad side, why don’t you go meet the girls and I’ll stay here and cheer her up. I’ll meet up with you all later?”
“You sure you want to—”
“You still want to help Trixie?” Trixie exclaimed, cutting off Sunset’s question. “Why?”
Sunset stared at Pinkie with a look that very much implied she wanted to know the same exact thing, but Pinkie smiled and answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Because you’re still sad.”
“But Trixie hurt your friend.”
“Yeah,” Pinkie seemed to consider that for a second. “And you should probably apologize when you’re feeling better. But to be fair, she hurt you first by bringing up the non-magical-power-having performer thing. You’re obviously self conscious about that and feel like you can’t compete sometimes, being a magician and a musician against those odds, and it was very tactless to throw that in your face on top of accusing you of being this upset because you’re a ‘sore loser,’ which must have felt really really really insulting.”
Behind her Sunset visibly winced while Trixie remained momentarily stunned, but only momentarily.
“But I hurt you all first!” Trixie argued back, standing up as she did so. “I pulled the lever and trapped you all underneath the stage. You all could have gotten seriously hurt, but I didn’t care, just because I was so obsessed with pleasing Adagio of all people!”
At this she let out a yell of pent up frustration into the chilly night air.
Very mature, Trixie.
“Wait, you remember that?” Trixie turned to look at Sunset’s expression. It was looking at her with confusion, a cocked eyebrow and tilted head. And yet, her first was clenched and muscles were slightly tensed. A hint of apprehension?
Ah, right. The yell just now.
“Of course Trixie remembers, she laughed at your face as she did it,” Trixie replied before turning to look at Pinkie. “And it doesn’t matter that she was mind controlled into doing whatever that Dazzling wanted. You all should still be upset it happened, so Sunset upsetting her is all fair game. Trixie took it too far. So are we done?”
Trixie expected a couple of possible reactions: acceptance and denial amongst them. Maybe shouting that her apology wasn’t good enough or something along those lines. What she observed, however, was something else entirely.
Pinkie and Sunset looked at each other, locking eyes. Eyes widened. Understanding. Sunset frowned and turned to look at Trixie. Pinkie pulled on her sleeve. Pinkie shook her head.
“But she…” Sunset began, her complaint trailing off at Pinkie’s determined expression.
“I’ll take care of it,” Pinkie said. “Go meet with the girls and I’ll see you later. Ok?”
“Okay.”
Meanwhile, Trixie watched the exchange closely, taking in every detail, and came to one very solemn conclusion.
I have no idea what is happening right now.
Resigning herself to her fate, she sat down against the wall again as Pinkie waved Sunset goodbye. The redhead mumbled some form of farewell as she walked away, but Trixie didn’t quite hear it and, before long, the only presence she could feel was that of the energetic party planner.
“Mind if I sit?” Pinkie asked, standing next to Trixie and leaning against the brick wall.
Trixie shrugged.
Sliding down, Pinkie deposited herself into a sitting position next to the magician, about a foot and a half away. Trixie could see her through her peripherals and was surprised to find that Pinkie was not in fact staring at her, but rather at the lights in the distance which still illuminated the nighttime sky.
“I think this is what makes it worth it.”
“Uh– What?” Trixie stammered, caught off guard by the sudden statement.
“Moments like this,” Pinkie continued. “See how the lights make the clouds all pretty even though it’s night? And how the spotlights make it look like a movie premiere? And how it all glows like it’s some fantasy world or something? And the moon is out and the stars? It’s quiet but there’s music playing and I know there’s people out there having fun and being happy, and that makes me happy too. And everything is just so beautiful. You see it too right?”
Pinkie turned to look at Trixie then, bright blue eyes filled with mirth and vim so intense that Trixie struggled not to recoil. Turning to look at the horizon, Trixie surveyed the sights again as Pinkie had, and found to her surprise that she could, in fact, see what Pinkie meant.
Maybe she’s contagious, Trixie thought as she stared at the stars through the patchy cloud cover.
“It makes it worth the scary times,” a somber voice broke Trixie from her reverie, and it took her a moment to realize it was still Pinkie’s voice. “I mean, both times it felt like we were definitely going to lose. Like the bad guy was going to win and like I was going to be… well, gone. And it was scary. Both times it felt like we won by luck. And what’s the chance that there won’t be a third or a fourth? I’m not really sure to be honest. Math is more Sunset’s thing.”
Trixie watched as Pinkie hugged her knees, much like Trixie had been doing.
“Still,” Pinkie smiled. “I get to help people. I get to help my friends. This is here because of me. So, if there are a few more scary times ahead. If I had to live a few scary times to get here. I think it’s worth it.”
Pinkie closed her eyes and leaned her head back as far as it would go against the wall, a calm smile across her face. Trixie, meanwhile, continued to stare. Confusion grew as one thought became two, became three, became five, each struggling to be voiced, the loudest of which eventually was.
“What was that?” Trixie yelled at her companion. Pinkie, however, merely giggled.
“I told you what was on my mind,” she said calmly. “Now you should tell me what’s on yours.”
“It’s not like I asked you to tell me.”
“No, but I did ask you,” Pinkie replied. “And so did Sunset and you were mean to her. So something must seriously be wrong.”
“Oh please,” Trixie scoffed, looking straight ahead. “She was in a hurry to leave pretty much as soon as she got here.”
“But she was going to stay anyway. She wanted to help anyway. Now stop dodging and spill.”
Trixie looked at Pinkie through her peripheral vision again and found her looking straight ahead.
Probably doing the same thing you are.
“Fine!” Trixie whined, much to Pinkie’s amusement.
And yet, she didn’t begin speaking straight away. For three minutes, Trixie thought to herself on how to best word her thoughts and feelings, what to share, what to keep to herself, how to best voice her frustrations. Pinkie, meanwhile, did not rush her and simply continued to stare dead ahead in silence.
Another minute passed before Trixie finally gave a sharp nod and began to speak.
“Trixie… I– I thought I was gay because of the Dazzlings,” Trixie said, taking a deep breath afterwards. “It was only for a few weeks, and I only realized what it all meant today, but yeah, that’s what’s got me all upset.”
“You do know there’s nothing wrong with being gay right?”
“Of course!” Trixie yelped, an indignant blush darkening her cheeks. “My dad raised me to be proud of who I am, no matter what. And I’m obviously going to be ok with LGBTQ identities. You do know about… well… me. Right?”
“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t,” Pinkie shrugged, surprising Trixie at her blasé response. “Let’s say I don’t know anything you haven’t told me yourself and that all I’ve heard is that you were upset you thought you were gay.”
“I wasn’t upset I thought I was gay,” Trixie mumbled. “I mean, I had never thought about it before. I had never had a crush before. I never really considered anything about who I’d date someday. Too busy with magic you know?”
Pinkie nodded.
“And then here comes Adagio and bam!” Trixie exclaimed. “Suddenly I’m doing everything she says, and I’m thinking about her all the time, and the most important thing in the world to me is making sure I can find some way to impress her so she can keep giving me compliments.”
“Sounds like a pretty serious crush,” Pinkie said, giving Trixie a smile.
“It was!” Trixie covered her face in her hands. “And so I realize it’s a crush and suddenly I have to come to terms with the fact that I might be gay. And I do. And you know what?”
“What?”
“I was actually pretty happy about it,” Trixie said, a fond smile growing on her lips. “I was a bit confused, there were things to work out, sure. But it was ok. I was figuring myself out. My dad always told me that was a good thing. And… I don’t know, it felt nice to have this crush.”
“It does sound nice.”
After a moment, however, Trixie’s smile turned into a frown.
“But then I found out it was a lie,” Trixie said. “Mind controlled, again. Played like a fool. All so I could stand in your way. A pawn. A tool.”
Trixie gave a melancholy sigh.
“Before I hadn’t even had to think about who I was attracted to, but now it’s on my mind and the truth is that I don’t even know, and it bothers me so much. I’ve never felt anything for anyone before and this seems like such a big part of myself to not know anything about. It used to be fine, but now…”
“Like being told you can’t have ice-cream after having tasted it for the first time?”
“Sure,” Trixie said, dismissively. “And then there’s the part where the first crush I ever had was just manipulating me. It’d be one thing if those feelings went away when the brainwashing faded, but it’s insulting to still have to deal with them.”
“Oh, right! You weren’t being mind controlled.”
“What!?”
“What?”
Trixie turned to look at Pinkie who was licking a lollipop Trixie had to assume she had gotten from some of her hidden stashes, and with great restraint repeated her question.
“What did you just say?”
“That you weren’t brainwashed,” Pinkie repeated. “Or at least not before the Dazzlings performed at the finals. Pretty sure they brainwashed everybody then. Before then I'm certain you were mind-control free though! Probably should have started with that, huh?”
“No no no no no,” Trixie stammered, an eye twitching. “I heard Sunset talking to people as I was leaving. Mind control. That’s why everyone tried to sabotage you and did what the Dazzlings wanted.”
“Close,” Pinkie nodded. “That’s why everyone else sabotaged us and did what the Dazzlings wanted. You did that on your own.”
“No,” Trixie argued. “I remember the pull, the compulsion. I remember the need to do things for her. The last few days specifically have been the absolute worst for it, just constant thoughts and the spell forcing me to make sure I impressed Adagio.”
“Uh huh,” Pinkie said, still sucking on her lollipop. “So you remember all that.”
“Yes.”
“And the things they made you do.”
“Yes!”
“Like how you trapped us under the stage.”
“I already apologized,” Trixie crossed her arms. “Kind of.”
“And I accept your apology,” Pinkie said, gesturing to herself. “Hey, interesting thing. Wanna hear what Flash described his last few days like? He said all he remembers are blurry dreams, like watching a bad movie with a lot of scenes cut out and where he gets tired if he watches it too long. I think he said he felt he lost whole days of his life. I asked him if he checked his pockets but he didn’t answer me.”
Trixie began to sweat, dreamlike images from the concert emerging in her memory before fading into the background once again.
“I just thought that was an interesting thing to share,” Pinkie continued. “But yeah, I’m pretty sure you weren’t mind controlled when you did all those things. Don’t worry though, I won’t tell. Though Sunset might know, you kind of blabbed on yourself earlier.”
“That doesn’t make any sense though,” Trixie replied, getting to her feet. “Like Sunset pointed out earlier, I don’t have any real magic to protect me like you girls do. How did I avoid getting controlled?”
Pinkie also got onto her feet and then seemed to ponder Trixie’s question before answering.
“That’s a good question,” she said. “Vinyl avoided it by wearing headphones, but you don’t wear any. Maybe you do have some secret magic we don’t know about? Or maybe you’re too stubborn to be possessed? Or maybe you ate too much ice cream and the brain freeze shocked you out of their control? Honestly though? I don’t think it’s any of those. Especially when there’s an explanation that makes way more sense.”
“And that is?” Trixie asked, leaning in with curiosity.
“Adagio didn’t want to control you,” Pinkie said with a soft smile. “She was obviously the leader, so if she said no, then the other ones would have left you alone too. And it’s not like she didn’t get you to do things anyway. Sure, it would have been easier to just control you and get it over with, but… if she liked you, maybe she wanted to keep you around instead of some zombie drone thing that just said yes to everything.”
Pinkie nudged the blushing Trixie with her shoulder, giggling when she almost toppled her over.
“So…” Trixie began, as she righted herself. “Do you think I might still be… You know—”
“Gay?”
“Yeah.”
“Wanna find out?”
Trixie’s subtle blush blazoned to a deep crimson as she tried to stammer out a response. Pinkie laughed loudly, taking this as an answer, grabbing Trixie by the hand before the former could protest and, with surprising speed, Pinkie led her to the front of the school.
“Unhand Trixie this instant!”
“Fine fine,” Pinkie said, still laughing as they arrived. “We’re here anyway. Okay, here is your test.”
Trixie glowered at Pinkie, who was gesticulating towards the front entrance of the school where various posters for bands had been plastered all across the entrance. Immediately, Trixie could make out posters for the Rainbooms, for Flash Drive, and for her own band Trixie and the Illusions, which meant if she looked further she would find…
“Uh uh uh”
Trixie yelped as she was swiftly blindfolded by Pinkie, and then pushed forward about four feet and then moved three feet to the left.
“Okay,” Pinkie said from somewhere to her left. “I’m going to remove the blindfold and you’re going to be face to face with Adagio Dazzle. Now, Sunset explained their magic to us and, with their necklaces broken, their magic is kaput. Donezo. That means that whatever you feel when you see her is all you. No magic. No brain controlly mumbo jumbo. Nada. If you feel something then, congrats! You’re gay and you found a little bit about yourself. I can even throw you a coming out party to celebrate—”
“No party,” Trixie cut her off, but she couldn’t hide a small smirk. It wasn’t long before the fear set in though. “And if I don’t feel anything?”
“Well, then you don’t feel anything,” Pinkie said, nervousness tinging her voice as well. “Then you get to keep searching for your identity, which isn’t all too bad. You might still end up gay, which yay! Or you might end up straight, which also yay! Or something else, which third time yay! You’ll just find out later instead of today. And I know you’ll be disappointed but, if you want, you and I can go to my place and eat some ice cream until you feel better or have so much brain freeze you stop caring about it. Whatever comes first.”
“And your party?”
“There’ll be other parties,” she said. “You’d be the one that needs me. The girls would still have fun without me. So what do you say? Wanna roll the die and find out what the universe is cooking?”
Trixie let out a giggle despite herself and gave a nod.
Let’s do this.
She expected a countdown or some sort of warning, but before she could get ready Pinkie had already removed the blindfold and Trixie found herself face-to-face with the image of Adagio Dazzle. Every instinct told Trixie to look away, and yet every impulse held her gaze in place.
Trixie’s eyes scanned those raspberry eyes and she remembered the hunger with which they had looked upon her, a hunger the poster just couldn’t replicate. A shiver ran down her spine. She looked at her soft lips and remembered the autograph, still stashed in her room, and she blushed as she pictured just how soft the lips of a singer must be. She looked at her hair, her outfit, her vibrance and, while the poster did not do the real figure justice, Trixie found herself with just one thought.
She’s so hot.
“So… What’s the verdict?”
Trixie nearly jumped at the voice but managed not to react more than a simple startle. Looking slowly to the side she saw Pinkie, who had been apparently studying her with a smug grin and half lidded eyes.
Trixie decided this look did not suit Pinkie either.
“So… um..” Trixie coughed as she attempted to regain her composure. “It appears you were correct and… um…. Trixie is indeed… um… gay—”
A crushing hug enveloped Trixie and she found herself surprised at Pinkie’s strength as the party planner picked her up off the ground and spun her around four times in quick succession.
“Oh my gosh!” Pinkie yelled. “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you. You must feel so relieved.”
“You know, I really am,” Trixie said as Pinkie put her down. She closed her eyes and tried to center her thoughts, a sense of peace enveloping her once again.
It feels good to know myself, she mused.
“Thank you Pinkie, I…” Trixie began, trailing off as she opened her eyes. Standing in front of her was Pinkie holding out a rolled up poster. The Dazzlings poster was conspicuously missing from the wall behind her. “I closed my eyes for a second. I am not taking the poster.”
“Why not?” Pinkie said, her smug grin returning. “Think about it. Boys all get posters of hot girls right? And girls get posters of boy bands? This is a hot girl band! And it’s your crush? You have to get it.”
“I’m not getting it,” Trixie crossed her arms.
“Think about it, ok?” Pinkie said, sticking out her tongue before placing the poster at Trixie’s feet. “Anyway, I should probably get going. You’re welcome to come, by the way. It’s a sleepover party, but we always have extra stuff and no one would mind another extra guest. We already have Twilight, after all.”
“Thank you, but no,” Trixie said, shaking her head. “I really should go home. Maybe some other time.”
“Okie dokie,” Pinkie said, waving goodbye before walking away in a northeastern direction. Trixie just stood there waving until Pinkie was out of sight and then, and only then, did she bend down to pick up the poster.
It would be a shame to leave this lying around, Trixie thought, holding the poster under her arm. A small blush grew on her face to match the smile on her lips. And besides, a friend gave it to me. It would be rude to refuse.
And so, Trixie began her trek home, though it was not long into her walk before she received a phone call, which she answered as she continued her journey:
“Oh hi, Daddy. How was your show?”
“Uh huh. Uh huh. That’s awesome.”
“No, just heading home. But guess what? I actually have some big news too!”
“Well, no, I didn’t win, no. But that’s not what the news was about anyway. No, so guess what. Turns out I’m gay.”
“Yeah, this girl at the competition. It’s just a crush, but that’s how I found out.”
“No! No! I don’t need another coming out party!”
“But—”
“....Okay, but if I have to have one, I get to choose the party planner.”
“No. No need. I have someone in mind already.”