//------------------------------// // Chapter 18: Bowling With the Dude // Story: The Adventure of the Apex Legion (Old Version) // by DeffBwade //------------------------------// "They have a bowling alley here?!" Apparently, but how do fuck do ponies bowl? How do they hold it? "The same way ponies hold everything else." Oh right. Sandbar and Gallus have invited me to a game of bowling, like a little time away from the girls. At least that's what Gallus said. Needless to say, I was hyped. I haven't played bowling for years. We went all out by buying bowling shirts and gloves. "Tryhards. Also, ponies wear gloves?" Apparently. We entered the bowling alley, and the nostalgia wave just washed all over me. Everything brought back so many memories from my childhood. The sound of bowling balls knocking over pins, the sight of bowling lanes and a snack bar, the disgusting smell of bowling shoes... "Ponies don't wear shoes. Hell, nobody wears shoes." Huh. I never noticed that. Oh god, imagine all of the disgusting stuff everybody has stepped. No, scratch, imagine all of the disgusting stuff I stepped on. I could've stepped dead bugs and fly poop and I didn't even notice. "You guys go pick a lane. I'm gonna go get some snacks for us," Gallus said as he flew away to the snack bar, leaving me and Sandbar. "Oh my stars. It has been too long since I've been to a place like this," I said aloud. "You've played bowling before?" Sandbar asked. "Mmhm. Many times when I was young. Whenever my uncle and aunt visited me in Baltimare, they would take me, my brother, and my cousins to the bowling alley for a little competition," I chuckled, "One of my cousins was so young, 6 or 7 I believe, he had to rely on my uncle to help him play. I don't really remember all that much, but I'm just gonna say I won most of them." "Well, I guess that makes you the expert of our team then," Sandbar chuckled as he looked at the available lanes, "Alright, it seems 2 lanes are taken already. Legion, pick a number between 1-5." "Um, pi," I joked to which Sandbar gave me a questioning look, "What? You said between 1-5, and pi equals 3.1459." "Ha ha, very funny. Ho ho, what a laugh." Admit it, you thought that joke was funny. "I pick 3," I said. We up to the stallion behind the desk and registered for lane 3. We gave the bits before he gave us our bowling balls. Sandbar's ball was a lime green, Gallus's was a light blue, and mine was black. We went to our lane registered our names, with Sandbar as 'SAN', Gallus as 'GAL', and me as 'LEG'. "I never understood why they only you to input only three letters for eac person's name." I know right? Remember the Looney Tunes Show, specifically the episode where Daffy, Porky, Pete, and Marvin join a bowling tournament? Daffy tried to have the names 'The Porkinator', 'The Petinator', 'The Marvinator', and 'Poobah the Great'. What he got instead was 'THE', 'THE', 'THE', and 'POO'. "I claim this planet in the name of Mars." What's with the nostalgia trip today? After a few minutes of waiting, Gallus finally came back with nachos and some sodas. Normally, I'm not really a fan of nachos, but today I'm willing to suck it up. "Alright, Sandbar. You're up first," I said. Sandbar grabbed his bowling ball and stepped up to the lane as Gallus and I gave him words of encouragement. He got a running start, reared his hoof back, threw the ball, and...got a gutter. "It's alright man. This is just the warmup round," I said, "Gallus, you're turn." "Let me show you guys how the master does it," Gallus said with a cocky grin. He picked up his ball... Hey, that's not fair! He has the advantage because he fingers! ...got into a running start, reared his claws back, threw the ball, and- STRIKE ...he...he threw the ball at another lane. "Sooo...is that how the master does it?" I asked with a smirk. "Like you said, this is just a warmup round," Gallus said as he handed me my ball, "You're turn." "Alright. If I suck, don't blame me because I haven't played bowling in years," I said. God, this is gonna be a disaster. Okay, just remember. It's all about the direction of your throw, and how hard you throw it. I think. I don't know. I got into a running start, reared my hoof back, threw the ball, and- STRIKE ...actually got a strike?! "Let's go!" I cheered. I looked back to see Sandbar and Gallus with wide eyes and jaws agape. I'm unstoppable! I've still got the touch of the bowling gods! "You might wanna rephrase that." I'd only have to if you were dirty minded. Sandbar and Gallus have been getting spares, strikes, and gutters. Me? I've been getting strike after strike, as well as a few spares, for the next 9 turns. "Okay, didn't you say earlier that it's been years since you've played?!" Gallus asked. "Yeah," I simply said. "Then how are you so good at this?!" Gallus asked to which I just shrugged. "Man, I've only seen one group of ponies that's as good as you," Sandbar said. "Who?" I asked, "I think he's talking about us," a surfer-like voice said. I turned and saw a trio of tan colored stallions giving me an impressed look. One had a blonde mane, tail, and goatee, a cutie mark of a carpet, and a blue suit and red tie with bowling pins on them. The second had a brown mane, tail, and beard, a blue bandana, orange glasses, and a grey suit and yellow tie. The third had a brown mane and tail, an orange button-up shirt, and chest popping out of it. "Ponies can actually grow facial hair and chest hair? That sounds...weird." Remind to buy shaving equipment after this. "Your friends right man. You've got some gnarly skills," blondie said. "Did this guy just say 'gnarly'?" "What's your name man?" he asked. "Legion," I said as I then pointed at my friends, "and these two are my friends, Gallus and Sandbar. "You can just call me 'The Dude', he said. "Ookay, if that's what you want," I said. "Who refers to themselves as 'The Dude'?" The only other dude that refers himself as 'The Dude' is the Dude from the Postal games. Remember that game dude? "You're starting to give me a fucking brain aneurysm." "In all my years I've bowled, I've never seen someone so young have such gnarly skills. No offense at anything," he said to Gallus and Sandbar before turning back to me, "How's about you and me have a quick 5 round competition?" "Eh, why not?" I shrugged. The competition between me and the Dude has been intense so far, but I've prevailed to not be able to lose miserably. It was the final, and it was my turn. This throw will determine the winner of the game, and it all rests on my shoulders. Unfortunately, I got the worst of the worst. The bane of all bowler's existence. The mother of all pin positions. "A seven ten split compadre. The harshest of the harsh, but if you can hit this, you win," the Dude said. "You got this Legion!" Sandbar cheered. "No pressure dude," Gallus said. "Saying 'no pressure', gives me pressure!" I said. I took a deep breathe. I had to be sure my stance was relaxed, I throw at the right angle, and with the right amount of power. "No press-" What did I just say?! Okay, I got this. Move a tad bit to the right, aim at the left pin at a 75o angle, make sure I don't throw too hard nor too soft, maybe about- "Just throw the fucking ball already!" I took a running start, lifted up my hoof, and threw the ball. It hit the left pin, making it stumble towards the right pin. This was it, luck will determine once and for all who's the winner. It stumbled towards it some more, it was slowling down, it leaned towards the other pin, and- THUMP ...it fell the other way. "Dang it!" I said before I turned back to the Dude, "I guess luck wasn't on my side today." "It's alright man. You still played a pretty good game. The most important part of any game is to have fun," the Dude said. "Yeah, I know," I said as I held out a hoof, "Good game man. Good game." "Good game," he said as he shook my hoof, "Hey, if you're down for it, we could have another competition some time." "I'll think about it," I said before Sandbar, Gallus, and I returned our bowling balls and left the bowling alley.