"... Anyways, I'm so sorry I couldn't join you and the girls for the CSU tour the other day," Fluttershy finished.
Across the table from her, Sunset, her double mocha frappucino untouched, stared off into the distance and replied in a flat tone, "That's okay, Fluttershy."
Sipping at her tea, Fluttershy explained, "Our animal rights group had a very important meeting that I just couldn't skip."
"That's cool."
"Oh gosh…" Fluttershy fiddled with her cup. "Did you hear about that construction site that was destroyed by a bunch of plastic explosives and homemade bombs?"
"No."
Fluttershy shook her head. "So much destruction… Although…" Fluttershy took a long, long sip of her tea. "At least they can't tear down the forest now. Someone put a stop to it."
"Uh-huh."
"S-sometimes people have to take matters into their own hands, you know?" Fluttershy cleared her throat and looked around the coffee shop. "Anyway, how was the tour?"
"Wallflower threw herself off a building," Sunset mumbled.
Fluttershy almost spat out her tea. "Wh-what?!"
"And that was after she tried to drown herself."
"Tr-tried to what?"
"And that was after I walked in on her in the bath with the toaster nearby."
Fluttershy's jaw dropped.
"And that was after I found out she has cuts all over from her… 'Cat.'" The only change in Sunset's tone or posture was to make air quotes around the word "cat". Afterwards, it was back to monotony.
Fluttershy managed to close her mouth. "Goodness," was all she could say. Some time passed before she managed to add, "I-is she okay?"
Sunset's left eyelid twitched. "Okay?" Next, her right. "Okay?!" Annnnd… both of them.
For the first time in several days, some semblance of tone and emotion returned to Sunset's voice. "No, Fluttershy, she's not okay!" Sunset threw her arms up and flailed. "My girlfriend is constantly trying to kill herself and I'm the only one who can keep her safe!!"
Ignoring the stares of the other patrons, Sunset heaved several deep breaths and stared Fluttershy down.
Rather than sink into her seat, Fluttershy raised a finger. "Um… So… If that's true, where's Wallflower now?"
Sunset resumed statue mode. "She's with her parents."
Slowly, Fluttershy nodded. "Oh… kay then." While Sunset sat in silence, Fluttershy drummed her fingers on the table. "Um…" She bit her lip. "Well then, why hasn't she gone to the hospital?"
"The hospital?!" Sunset resumed screech mode. "Do you know how many sharp objects are in a hospital?! How many dangerous drugs?! All the chemicals they use to clean?!" Sunset knocked her untouched drink on the floor. "She would be like a kid in a candy store! A suicidal kid who's deathly allergic to candy!!!"
The coffee shop quickly emptied out. While Sunset seethed, the lone employee walked from behind the counter, dropped their apron by the door, and left.
Meanwhile, Fluttershy remained as calm as ever. Almost zen. It made Sunset want to throw things.
"Sunset," Fluttershy finally said, "they don't have those things in a psychiatric ward, which is what Wallflower needs if she's truly doing all this."
Sunset pointed at her, eyes narrowed. "You doubt me?!"
Fluttershy nodded. "Sunset, take a moment to breathe, here. If Wallflower was really as suicidally depressed as you think, she wouldn't be touring campuses and going on dates with her girlfriend—"
"You don't understand! Those are covers!"
"Well, she seems happy to me—"
"LIAR!"
Sighing, Fluttershy shook her head. "Well, if being with her is this stressful for you, have you considered maybe… Not?"
Slamming both hands on the table, Sunset glared at her with the white-hot fury of a thousand suns. "If you ever so much as think that again… I will kill you."
Fluttershy flinched. Rather than reply, her eyes were drawn to something outside the window.
"What? What are you looking at?!"
"Um…"
Sunset gasped. "Wally!"
Outside the window, Wallflower Blush walked—no, skipped—down the street, a broad smile on her cheerful face. She seemed to be humming some jaunty tune as she made her way down the sidewalk, careful not to step on even a dandelion. Any sane being would be remiss to not acknowledge how happy she looked on this fine summer day.
Sunset Shimmer, however, with her boundless intellect and mind dictated by rational thought, knew in a split-second that Wallflower was searching for new and lucrative ways to kill herself.
Fluttershy's treachery forgotten, Sunset bolted from the coffee shop after her wayward girlfriend. A surprisingly strong hand on her shoulder held her back from reaching.
"Sunset, stop!" Fluttershy grabbed her by both shoulders, looking her in the eye. "Wallflower's fine! See?" She gestured down the street, where Wallflower had stopped to smell a rose. "That doesn't look like a suicidally depressed girl to me."
Sunset broke free of her grip. "You don't understand! Wallflower is in danger, and only I can protect her!"
"Um, in danger of what?" Fluttershy looked around the quiet street. "Getting poked by a rose? A bee buzzing too closely?"
"Something's going to happen, Fluttershy, and I just know it! Any moment now, Wallflower is going to—"
Wallflower Blush stepped in front of a bus.
Sunset's shriek could be heard from space. "WALLY, NO!"
Fluttershy, now finally having understood how accurate Sunset's dire predictions had been, could only watch in utter horror. She grabbed Sunset before she could jump after her. "It's no use, Sunset! She has AirPods™ in!"
As Wallflower's tiny body fell in front of twenty tons of unrelenting steel, Sunset lay on the sidewalk. Powerless, useless, having made the grave mistake of allowing her pure and innocent girlfriend to be tainted by the endless cruelties of the world. Now she saw the error of her ways, though it remained too late to correct them.
The bus blared its airhorn. The hiss of air brakes followed. Sunset didn't need to have a commercial driver's license to know it wouldn't be enough.
As the bus came to a halt several hundred feet away, Sunset and Fluttershy screamed in unison.
The dust cleared.
Knowing that the sight would haunt her for the rest of her Celestia-damned life, Sunset looked anyway.
Lying on the street, facedown, was Wallflower Blush. Her beloved AirPods™ were still in.
"Wally!" Sunset wailed, tears streaming down her face.
"Oh, Sunset!" Fluttershy sobbed, clinging to her. "I'm so sorry! I should have listened! I sh-sh-should have—"
"I'm okay!"
Through a veil of tears, Sunset saw a miracle happen.
Unscathed, without limp or injury, Wallflower Blush got up from the street, dusted herself off, and waved at the girls. "Hi, Sunset! Hi, Fluttershy!"
Both were too shocked to move. Or speak. Or breathe.
Wallflower walked over, taking out her AirPods™ one at a time. "Whew, that was a close one! Good thing I tripped on my shoelace and fell down between the axles! Otherwise—" she made a splat noise—"we would have had to reschedule our date, Sunset!"
The sound of Wallflower giggling was normally enough to make Sunset's heart sing. Now, God Himself could have come down from the heavens and told Sunset that Wallflower would live forever, and she would react just the same:
"Buh."
After slapping herself—on both cheeks—Fluttershy stood up, pulled out her cellphone, and stated, "I'm calling an ambulance."