To My Dearest and Most Favorite Daughter,
Starlight, I got a letter from your sister and I must say that I am not impressed, with her. She wrote to me bitching about you and Luna going out and turning her harem against her and causing them to leave. What I find funniest though is that you were able to so easily steal Cadence away from her. I know you want somepony to commit to and Cadence wanted somepony to commit to so now I suppose my hot little niece will ultimately be marrying my sexy daughter, my sexy daughter who won't put out for me.
Now right now you are my favorite again but if you don't start putting out for me, Twilight might regain that spot. Hell you and Cadence could come down and we could do a three way, I know you both want some loving from your hot mama Tia! I know I certainly want some loving from my most powerful daughter and her hot little marefriend! What do you say Starlie, would you want to come down and cement yourself as my favorite forever? Come down and give me the loving I want and you'll have my favoritism forever!
Love,
You Hot Mama Tia
Dear Bitchlestia,
Did you somehow manage to get dumber? I can not believe what the hell I'm reading here. You honestly think that I'd come down and put out for you? Look, I am in a committed relationship with Cadence and once we get married, she will be Queen Cadence, she will be higher up than you ever were! What I would like to know is why this all caused you to turn on Twilight anyway. She puts out for you, she is the obedient one and she will do pretty much anything to keep your favor.
You know what? Take your favoritism and shove it up your gluttonous flank. I don't want your favoritism nor do I need it. I am the most powerful being in existence so why the hell should I care what you think? Yes you are my mother but in the grand scheme of things, that doesn't mean shit. Hell you flip-flop so much between the two of us on which one is your favorite that you probably don't even know which one is your favorite from one day to the next.
Looking back at things, I'm GLAD I wasn't raised by you. You raised Twilight and look at the hot mess she turned into. Many ponies may think I am batshit crazy in my own right but that is only because I spent too much time around Twilight. Now I am going to be starting a new life with a lovely mare who is willing to commit to me, a mare who won't have meltdowns over shit like Trivia Trot, magic kindergarten and ladybugs. Even better, Cadence won't go throwing other ponies in another dimension for no good reason.
You go ahead and invite Twilight down for some fun and make her your favorite permanently. Remember this Tia: I don't need your approval, your love or you for that matter!
Signed,
Goddess-Queen Starlight "Cadence's Marefriend" Glimmer
To My Bitchy Daughter,
You know what, fine! I don't know what I was thinking wanting to make a power hungry bitch like you my favorite anyway. I'm honestly surprised you haven't thrown your poor mother in another dimension or banished her to the sun. I know that if your father's love wasn't so important you'd probably do just that, or you'd do that to Twilight first and then do the same to me. Whatever but don't go expecting me to support you marrying my easy niece. I will find it funny though when she cheats on you, preferably with Twilight. You'd deserve it for stealing her away from Twilight.
Whatever,
Mom
P.S. Remember if I hadn't banged your father back in Sire's Hollow, you wouldn't be here to be controlling everything so you owe me!
Dear Cadence,
So you decided to take Starlight's words to heart and bolt on Twilight? Remember, she was the one protecting you from Colgate and her sex obsessed friends. Who is to say that Starlight will protect you? Yes you two are talking about marriage and all but I know that if you even piss that little hothead off a tiny bit, she'll either give you back to Colgate or unleash her freaky atom magic on you, wiping you out entirely. I personally think you'd have it coming for what you did to Twilight, especially after everything she did for you.
I get it, you wanted commitment and since Twilight won't commit to anypony, you jump on the chance with my other daughter because she is a softy like that. She is more than willing to tie herself down to somepony and you saw an opportunity. How do I know that you won't control her once you're married because I know she'd probably submit to you solely so she'll have somepony who loves her in a romantic sense. A word of advice though, don't try and do anything to Toolaroola or Coconut Cream because I know where she draws the line. If anypony was to try and do something to them, she'd destroy them. Other than that though, I'm sure you can get her to cave into you, including letting you be the dominant one in the bedroom and out in public. To be honest, I hope you do it. Starlight would have it coming for all the shit she's pulled over the years.
Love,
Your Auntie Tia
Aunt Celestia,
You know what, none of that will happen because I've changed. I'm not the disloyal mare I used to be, I'll always be loyal to Starlight so I don't have anything to worry about. I know that Starlight would never do anything like that to me because even though we haven't interacted a ton, she loves me, we are marefriends and we will one day tie the knot and be together for all eternity.
You know what, I have no plans on doing anything to piss Starlight off and I know better than to do anything to Toolaroola and Coconut Cream. I know how protective she is of them and I would never go taking advantage of her! I would never go controlling her in public or in the marriage in general because not only do I know of her powers but I'd never do anything
to upset her in any way, shape or form.
Anyway, Starlight and I will be having a truly wonderful, loving night together so I don't have time to write anything else.
Starlight's Marefriend,
Cadence
Dear Twilight,
First off let me apologize for saying that Starlight is my favorite again because after doing some thinking, I know that you love me more and will always be there for me. I know that Starlight never will because between running the country, taking care of her daughters and now her relationship with Cadence, that she has no time for me. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness and see if you might want to come down and see me sometime soon. I won't even expect you to put out, honest!
Love,
Mom
Mom,
I do love you and I will be here for you but only if you won't go loving Starlight more than me. It seems like you can't decide who you like more but if you will swear complete and absolute loyalty to me, you'll always have my love....well that and if you'll be my sub unless I want to be the sub.
Here is what will make me happy, if you let me move down there with you and I'll be your go-to pony for getting laid! Yes I know dad may get all pissy over it and Aunt Luna may decide to move up with her precious niece but as long as I'm happy, you'll be happy! Let me know what you think.
Love,
Twilight
To My Beloved Daughter,
I read your letter and I'm completely open to it. Yes I love your father but you're so much better in bed, well that and you'll eat me out while he won't. Just come on down and we can start a life of mother/daughter bonding that we're sure to both enjoy.
Love,
Mom