//------------------------------//
// Welcome to Ponyville 
// Story: Misadventures of a Henchpony 
// by Big Saij 
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"Well, here I am."

Ponyville. I had already visited once before, searching the little town quite extensively to find the home I was looking for. Still, it was always surprising to see just how quaint and friendly the village looked. It was picturesque, almost looking like a scene on a postcard. Ponies of all three races walked and talked on the streets, idly going about their day completely carefree. It was beautiful, peaceful and fresh.

Fresh for a pony used to the oppressive humidity and constant danger of the southern jungles, at least.

But still, this was it. The change of pace I was waiting for. The bill had been paid, the house was already set up and furnished, and I had the key tucked in my saddlebag. As soon as I took my first step across the bridge over the river flowing just a few hoofsteps away, a new life would begin. Closing my eyes and waiting a few seconds for imagined dramatic effect, I reached out my hoof and put it down in front of me.

"Hiya!"

"Wha- AAAAA!"

I opened my eyes again to see a pink pony staring me right back in the face, causing me to jump at least five feet in the air backwards. "Who are you?" I asked, blinking.

"I'm Pinkie Pie!" She rushed up to shake my hoof, doing it so violently that my entire body went up and down along with it. "I'm so excited that you're moving to Ponyville! I always throw a party for everypony new who comes here, but I guess this is your second visit here so I'll have to throw you your "Second Visit to Ponyville" party instead!"

Pausing her rapid, energetic speaking, I narrowed my eyes a bit. "How did you know I already came here? I don't remember seeing you around last time."

"Well of course not, silly! I was in the Crystal Empire with Twilight, Cadence and Shining Armor! But my Pinkie Sense told me that someone new was in Ponyville so I was ready to throw a party when I came back but you were already gone so I had to wait until now for you to come back!"

"So you're throwing a party... just for me?"

Pinkie nodded her head with a smile, one so infectious that it even made me start to smile along with her. "Tonight at Twilight's place! It's the big tree at the center of Ponyville!" She pointed with a hoof down the street, where the lush green top of said tree could just be seen over the roofs. "I have to get everything ready now and send the invitations so I'll see you there! Bye!"

Just as quickly as the mare had come, Pinkie Pie sped off, becoming a blur for just a moment before disappearing around a corner into town.

"A party, huh?" I thought to myself. "Probably not the kind I'm used to, but it would be nice to meet the neighbors... sure, why not? Should definitely get my things settled in my house first, though."

There was something else that was incredibly familiar about that extraordinary pony, but I couldn't place my hoof on it. Had I seen her in the past few days? Maybe she had been a tourist visiting town back in Tenochtitlan. A lot of them were also easily excitable and energetic, so she would have fit right in.

She brought those terms to a whole new level, though...

Oh well. Even if I had seen her before, I just wanted to put everything from the past behind me. She wasn't the "normal" that I had in mind, but if one crazy pony was the price I had to pay for a lifetime of peace, then I would gladly take it. As long as we weren't actual neighbors. If she threw a party next door every single time a new pony walked into Ponyville, I would probably lose my sanity faster than I would prefer.

Anyway, that was enough time wasting. Continuing my formerly-abandoned trot forward, I pushed onwards into the town of Ponyville, following cloudy memories of my past visit towards my new home. The party wasn't going to be until sundown if Pinkie was to be believed, so I still had plenty of time before then. For now, settling in and getting my belongings sorted was my primary objective.

Eventually, the road opened up to a more open courtyard, where a small market had been put up. I walked through and observed the ponies as they went about their day, buying produce and other such products. I saw an orange earth pony and a yellow filly selling apples across the corner. A white unicorn and a butterscotch pegasus idly talking. Everything was just so... normal? Standard? Whatever it was, it set me on edge. I expected something terrible to happen any second, for some accident to occur that would send the carefully constructed order into complete chaos.

And yet I made it to the other side without a single piece of trouble. Wow. It was legitimately refreshing. I wasn't a pony to let my guard down; doing so in the Tenochtitlan Basin was a surefire way to meet an unfortunate fate. Here, though, I was finally unwinding, my hooves and body becoming less tense. Everypony around me acted like I was already a friend, waving a hoof while saying hello or giving a polite nod. I even waved back a few times, losing myself in the crowd until before I even realized it, I was at my destination.

My house was like any other in Ponyville, completely unremarkable. Thatched roofing, wooden frame, and a tan color that matched that of my pith hat. Grabbing my key from my saddlebags, I unlocked the front door and made my way inside.

The term "barren" would be putting it mildly. Other than the bare necessities, like a table, chairs and such, the rooms were completely empty. A staircase led upwards to the second floor, which I remembered contained a bathroom and the bedroom. The bed in it came free, thank Celestia, so I didn't have to worry about that.

Time to get started. Grabbing the bag which contained the rest of my hard-earned bits, I opened the most nondescript cabinet I could find in the house and stuffed it inside. Then I put the remaining rations I had from the trip, mostly canned foods into the kitchen drawers, along with my one set of utensils, my single plate, and dinner cloth. A ball I liked to play with to kill time I placed on the center table along with my hat. Finally, I took out my Ring of Scorchero and hung it from the far wall as an ancient decoration of sorts.

And done. Wow, that was a lot more depressingly short than I thought it would be. First thing tomorrow, I was definitely going to go out and buy some new furniture or something. Hopefully that would help quell the crippling feelings of loneliness that were now rapidly encroaching as I sat down alone in my chair.

"You're not alone, silly! I'm here!"

I fell out of my chair backwards upon seeing Pinkie Pie sitting across the table from me, slamming onto the floor. I could have sworn that she wasn't there a second ago... "What... how did you get in here, Pinkie?" I asked, still groaning from the pain and shock of my harsh landing.

"I came in through the door!" I traced the path from the pointing pink hoof to the door, which was left wide open. Had I forgotten to close it when I walked in? Huh. That was a real safety hazard, I guess I would have to be more careful about closing and locking doors behind me. Not that the party pony's uninvited entrance was entirely unwelcome.

"Okay, so what are you doing here?"

Pinkie came over and extended a hoof to help me up as she spoke. "To get you for your 'Second Visit to Ponyville' party, of course!"

I blinked. Looking out the window, I did in fact see that the sun was already setting over the horizon, creating a brilliant display of vibrant oranges and greyish-blues. "Well, that was conveniently fast," I said aloud to nopony in particular.

"Are you coming?" The other earth pony was bouncing up and down like a spring, the excitement plastered on her face as obvious as the fact that she was pink. I sighed with a slight smile before grabbing my hat off the table I had placed it on when I sat down. "Ooooh, nice hat!"

I nodded politely as we both walked out of my house, double-checking to make sure the door was locked this time. "It has... sentimental value to me. This old thing has saved my flank more times than I can count."

"Just like Daring Do's hat?"

I stopped in my tracks and stared at Pinkie. How did she know about Daring Do? We were fairly far away from the fringes of Equestrian civilization, where most of her adventures were. Maybe word has just gotten around? Yes, it was probably just the work of rumor-spreading, that was it. Satisfied with my own explanation, I lightly shook my head around to get focused again and continued my trot. "You could say that."

"Cool!" The silence that followed was extremely awkward, and strangely uncharacteristic to the pony I had seen and heard for the day. It was so strange that I didn't even notice when she stopped in front of me, and ended up tripping over her hind hooves and falling flat on my face. "We're here!"

After getting back up again and rubbing the end of my face with a hoof, I looked up at the large tree before us. Next to it was a sign that had both a picture of an open book and a few words that I couldn't make out, but assumed was something along the lines of 'library'. "So... Your friend Twilight lives in the town library?" I asked, confused.

"Yep! If there's a book you need, she's got it! Ooooh, that reminds me!" Pinkie reached into her fuzzy mane and pulled out a brightly colored book. "I need to return 'A Frosting Guide for Dummies' to Twilight!" Her eyes widened. "Wait, but I also forgot to go get the cake! Here, you can give Twilight the book for me while I go back to the bakery!" She all but shoved the hardcover literature into my hooves before galloping off in the opposite direction from where we came, quickly becoming a pink dot before going out of sight.

A brief period of standing dumbfounded appeared before my brain kicked itself back into action. I faced the library again, giving myself a quick few words of reassurance ('It's a library, I'm sure that the party will be nice and orderly') before taking a deep breath and opening the front door.

While I have been wrong many times in my life as a pseudo-adventurer, this particular moment goes close to the top of the list.

The party was in full swing already, with what seemed like the entire population of Ponyville in attendance. Music was being played from somewhere I couldn't see while ponies danced along to the beat, while others just talked with one another in pairs or groups. Pegasi flew around, doing aerobatic stunts or simply using their wings to avoid pushing through the crowd. There was even free food and drinks, with cupcakes, soda and what looked like hot sauce on the table.

Relief was not what I was feeling. Neither was disappointment, which was surprising. I just felt confused. This party was nothing like I had hoped, but also nothing like I had feared. It wasn't going to be a boring formal party, but it was certainly larger than I anticipated. I blinked once, twice, a third time. Then, having regained basic motor control, I trotted over to the back of the room with the bookshelves.

Standing there, looking frantically at all the booked stored was a single purple pony, who I assumed was a pegasus from the wings. "Spike!" she called out, "did you find it yet?"

"No, Twilight!" a voice from upstairs answered back.

Ah, so this was the "Twilight" that Pinkie had told me about. Not wanting to wait around trying to get her attention the hard way, I just cleared my throat loudly. "So you must be Twilight. Pinkie told me to..."

My voice faded as she turned to face me, her horn now in full view. Oh boy. A horn and wings. That only meant one thing. As my higher mental faculties began shutting down, my voice was left stuttering. "To... to..."

The alicorn just sighed. "What did Pinkie do this time? Unless it has something to do with my missing book, I'm a little busy!"

I mentally kicked myself in the flank. Get yourself together, Jungle! You can't let your brain fall apart whenever you see a Princess! I tried to find my vocal footing again. "Actually, uh... she told me to return this copy of-"

The book I had been holding up got snatched out of my hoof as Twilight practically forgot my existence. "A Frosting Guide for Dummies! Finally, I had been looking for this for hours! Pinkie really needs to learn to ask before borrowing a book..." Turning back to me, she gave a slight smile. "Sorry about that. So, what are you doing around here?"

"I'm actually moving into Ponyville. This is my 'Second Visit to Ponyville' party."  In that moment I felt really proud of myself for actually remembering what the party was called. Maybe my memory was actually improving!

Twilight's smile turned sheepish. "Oh! And I haven't even introduced myself! Sorry about that. I'm Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship!"

"And I'm Jungle Trek..." Quickly, I tried thinking of some sort of fancy title I could strap on to the end as well. "...Explorer and Adventurer!"

The Princess raised an eyebrow. "Really? Where did you explore?"

Well, there was no harm in telling her half the truth. "Tenochtitlan Basin. Lots of jungle out there, you know."

She nodded along with me. "Yeah, my friends and I went there just a few days ago. You should try talking with Rainbow Dash sometime! She loves the Daring Do books, maybe you could tell her about your adventures too!"

"Hey Twilight, who're you talking to?"

My blood ran cold. I recognized that voice. Silently, I begged to the sun, the moon, Twilight, and anypony else who could have heard my prayers that it wasn't who I thought it was. It wasn't usually my style, but there's a first time for everything.

In this case, apparently beginner's luck was not on my side.

"Oh, hi Rainbow Dash! I was just talking with our new neighbor, Jungle Trek! He's an explorer in Tenochtitlan." As Twilight spoke, I mentally tried telling her to shut it. Without my mouth to use  as a communication device though, it was extremely ineffective.

Rainbow Dash turned to stare at me. "Cool," she said absentmindedly, seeming to be more focused on my outfit. "You look familiar... have we met before?"

I had heard somewhere before that there was a three-step process to not looking suspicious. Step one was playing it cool. Don't lose your composure, don't lose your temper. And most of all, don't- and I was already sweating. Great. Step two, don't just stand still and stare... I'll get to that one later. Step three, craft a believable and relevant alibi. Now that was something I could do.

Grasping at straws, I said the first thing that I could remember. It was heretical, it was something I would hate myself later for, and it was absolutely going to bite me in the flank at some point, but to me at that moment it was the only way out.

"We might have at a Daring Do event. I'm a big fan."

Several seconds ticked by in silence as we stared at each other.

"Well why didn't you say so?" Rainbow Dash flew over and threw a hoof around me, acting like we were already best friends. "I know A. K. Yearling, you know, and I got the next book a week before anyone else! Twilight already asked to borrow it after I'm done reading it, but you can totally have it after her if you want!" The mare continued droning on as I tuned out, only being brought back to reality when she was interrupted by somepony else.

"Who's your new friend, Dash?" Whoever was speaking had a violent country twang. When I looked, I saw an orange earth pony with a stetson approaching, alongside a yellow pegasus and white unicorn. I recognized these ponies instantly, which was a nice change; they were the ponies I had seen earlier today in the marketplace.

Using this opportunity to get some distance from Rainbow, I put my full attention on the newcomers. "Name's Jungle Trek," I answered simply, giving a tip of my hat. The orange one tipped back, and I immediately began to like her.

"Applejack. Pleasure to meet you. This here's Rarity-" she pointed at the unicorn "-and Fluttershy. So, this your 'Welcome to Ponyville' party?"

I nodded. "Well, technically it's the 'Second Visit' party, but pretty much." My mind went back to seeing Applejack at the apple stall. "So, you run the apple business around here?"

"Eyup. Me and the Apple Family run Sweet Apple Acres outside of town. You should stop by sometime, we're always happy to have visitors!"

So she was a country farmer and hospitable. Huh. Something told me that Applejack and I were going to be close friends fast.

The front door slammed open, causing me to jump. "I'm baaaack!" Pinkie sang as she wheeled in a cake behind her. It was double-layered, colored the exact shade of blue as my coat with reddish frosting that matched my mane.

"I only got here like an hour ago, how did she..." I got a look from Twilight that said "don't question it", and I wisely decided to listen.

Pinkie, meanwhile, had gotten out a large cake-cutting knife and was hoofing out slices on plates she was procuring from her fuzzy mane and tail. Pinkie was just gonna Pinkie, I guess. Twilight trotted up to her, levitating the plate offered onto the table so she wasn't distracted.

"Pinkie, as much as I love you reading books, you have to let me know before you borrow one from the library! Do you have any idea how long Spike and I were looking for it?"

The party pony just gave a small giggle. "Sorry Twilight, but I really really really needed it, and both of you were gone! I did leave a note where I took it, though!"

"A note? Where did you..." Twilight trailed off as she finally noticed the big poster on the wall that read "BORROWED BOOK, WILL RETURN. -PINKIE".  "How did I not notice that earlier..."

"Because you were too busy looking for the book, silly!" Pinkie put the final piece of cake on a plate and held it out to me. "Here, Jungle! ...Uh, Jungle?"

I could faintly hear her offering the cake, but I was too busy staring at all the ponies arranged in front of me. The six of them, all close to each other talking had finally sparked my memory on why more than three were so familiar. I had seen them before, and not just in the marketplace, or in a good way.

These ponies were the ones I had seen at the Fortress of Talacon. They lived here in Ponyville. The group also included the pony who had watched me get absolutely trounced, and would probably do it again herself if she figured out who I was. And now I was moving into the exact same village with all of them and would probably see them every day for as long as I lived.

I took the plate in hoof and quickly had a bite of cake. It was delicious, but the flavor barely distracted me from the one thought running through my head over and over again.

...Why can't anything be easy?