Night 1
My sister attacked me, all because of one stupid coin flip.
Thankfully, she is a fool and placed me within my own celestial orb. Of all the places, this is where she thought to put me? It would never betray me. I am its namesake. I am Luna.
“Open!” I command it. But the shroud of darkness does not lift from me. “This is your princess speaking! I command you to set me free!”
Yet still the moon held me captive. Its treachery should not have surprised me. Ponies have always slept through the nights I have graced them with. I even worked to make the night sky shine with the beauty of the stars, yet still nopony appreciated my work. My fans have always been few, and those worthy of my trust fewer.
But I was born with power for a reason. I do not need to be liked. I do not need the moon to obey me. I need the moon to die.
The dim glow that forms around my horn rapidly grows into an intense light that illuminates miles of the cavity that surrounds me. The rocky floor begins to crack as I pull at it with my magic, until massive chunks of it are tossed aside.
No sooner had the rock been disturbed, than it had begun to reform. Of course. It wasn’t the moon that had betrayed me, but the elements of harmony. Their magic would not permit me to escape. Thankfully, I don’t need their permission!
Craters around me erupt into existence as my horn shines brighter than ever before.
“Celestia! You can’t keep me here!” I don’t know who I’m yelling at, but I didn’t get the chance earlier. If Celestia herself can’t hear, then these walls will bare witness to my ire, and will know not to cross me.
Sizable chunks of rock launch out of place faster than they can reform, as the hole I am drilling is now several feet deep, and growing deeper at an ever increasing rate.
“Celestia! I know you can hear me!” She must somehow be listening. How else could she be sure her spell didn’t somehow wound me? Yet she has the gall not to respond!
The effort is futile, as my horn already begs me to stop, but I don’t care. I am getting out of here. The more my horn aches, the greater my concentration on ripping through the layers of rock. The depth of the hole is now approaching half a mile, but my horn will no longer obey me. All light is extinguished.
“Celestia!!”
Within minutes of stopping, my work had undone itself. My wobbling hooves give way causing me to plop to the ground ungraciously. Having not slept since the start of this extended night, the unrelenting darkness weighs heavily on my eyelids. I am tired.
The door to our room swings open, and my sister with her white coat practically glowing, enters.
“Are you coming? It is time for us to make our very first day,” she says.
I know I should feel excited. For the entire day I had tried to convince myself I was. I keep my head turned away and mumble, “I know.”
“Are you not excited?”
“Overjoyed,” I mutter, turning toward her while forcibly pressing my teeth into an attempted smile, “see?”
“Luna, is something wrong?”
Seeing my sister genuinely look concerned, I put into words what I know I shouldn’t care about. “How many times have you stopped to look at the night sky?”
“The night sky is beautiful.”
“Everypony says that, but how many times have you looked at it?” I knew she’d say that. I knew she wouldn’t understand. There is a brief pause during which I resume staring at that same spot on the wall.
“I don’t know. That’s not really the point, though. This isn’t about being admired,” she says.
“I don’t want to be admired. I just don’t want to be ignored. My cutie mark is a moon, but how many more times have I watched a sunrise than a full moon.”
“You would rather raise the sun than the moon?”
“Yes… I know it doesn’t matter… I know I shouldn’t care…” I sigh and look at my sister, “… but I do,” I finish. After saying it I can’t look at her because raising the moon is a great honor, but I dared to say it wasn’t good enough for me.
“Luna, why didn’t you say so? We can simply trade spots.”
I am grateful to her for not pointing out how stupid I am being, but her naive remark frustrates me. “Have you looked at our flanks?”
“Yes. We both have a talent for heavenly bodies. But why should our cutie marks tell us our destiny. They merely signify what our special talents are, not what we are to do with them.”
I sigh. “Even so, what would Father say? He has always anticipated his eldest daughter being the mare of day.”
Celestia frowns. She briefly begins to pull her mouth open but promptly shuts it again. Celestia hates to disappoint Father. I don’t exactly like it, but I never had her disdain.
I break the silence. “I appreciate the thought, but I can’t just take that from you.”
“Then let’s not leave it up to us,” says Celestia, pulling a bit off the top of our dresser, and then floating it in midair before us.
“Heads I take the sun. Tails you do.”
“You’d leave the rest of our lives up to a coin?”
“Maybe I’m tired of being a goody two shoes. Maybe I’ve began to wonder if I wouldn’t be better off being more like you. I’ve reasoned circles around this in my mind, and just want fate to show me the way. Any way. I’m tired of dwelling on this.”
Celestia turns away and begins to walk back through the door.
“Where are you going?”
“To go get Father, to oversee our flip. Despite what he wants to see, he values honesty. He’ll make sure I’m true to my word.”
“You are really serious about this aren’t you?”
We peer into each other’s eyes for a moment, and instead of the confident look, the unyielding look, or the “for shame” look, I see one that I don’t recognize. Yet, the raised eyebrows and slight frown, remind me of an expression I have seen on other ponies.
“You’re confused...” I state.
“Yes.”
“We don’t need Father. Let’s do this.” I smile.
We both stare at the bit as it flips, positive it will land on tails; convinced that, somehow, our mutual desire for a single side would alter the probabilities. It would change our destinies to be exactly what we needed. My sister would finally be able to loosen up. We would finally stand up to Father. I would get the sun. Most importantly, our cutie marks wouldn’t decide our lives. This bit could change everything.
It doesn’t.
How naive I was, to think destiny could be altered. How dare Celestia make me hope for what was never going to be. My wandering mind doesn’t contemplate this for long, as it is now ready to be still and thoughtless.
~~~
Night 2
I am moving. Why am I moving?
My heavy eyes lift, only to unveil another layer of darkness. Why is it so dark? I puzzle on this for a few seconds before remembering, I am in the moon. I ignite my horn to reveal that everything appears still. If I am moving, so is the moon.
Of course! Celestia is raising the moon. It is the second night.
I trot over to a nearby wall, and scrap in two tally marks. It feels silly, as there will be at most five such marks before my freedom, yet a precise count is necessary. The longer I am here, the more Celestia will have to answer for.
Is day really so important that she was willing to attack her own sister? Day lacks the sophistication of night. It was needed once, but now there are spells that can replace its food growing properties. These spells exist for a reason. Though at times I forget, that coin gave me night for a reason. Day is behind the times. Nopony needs it. They are all just too shy to tell her. I will tell her for them. How will that conversation go?
“I am so sorry, Luna. What ever was I thinking,” says Celestia.
“I hate to break it to you…” I begin to state.
“…but day is obsolete? I know. I’ve always known.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll let you play around with a few stars. Once you develop some talent, I will even make them bright enough for ponies to see.”
“I am truly blessed to have such a sister. How can you forgive me so easily?”
“It’s a gift.” I reply modestly.
That is what tomorrow will be like. Heck, that is what tonight could be like. My horn and the dirt in front of me glow brightly. I will break through this time. Somehow.
~~~
Night 97
She will let me out. Though she is envious of my potential, as she has always had an eye for talent, she is my sister.
Daytime skies once seemed admirable for their color, but now I know they are excessively showy. They are for the pallet that cannot appreciate subtlety, that cannot dazzle the eye with but a few shades of a single hue. She knew that the ponies were better off without day.
So, in a moment of passion and envy, she banished me here. I can’t blame her for being jealous, really. It must be difficult when you are no longer needed. But she is not a bad pony. She has simply made a grave mistake. She is no doubt realizing this even now, and will release me soon.
Besides, how much longer can she really hold me here? She did use the elements of harmony, after all. Pray tell, who is she in harmony with? It certainly isn’t me. Surely their power must be weakening. The moon took at least a few seconds longer to recover a couple weeks ago from another one of my tirades.
What silly things those occasional tantrums are. Why tire myself and get so worked up, when my cell is surely decaying around me? The moon doesn’t even respond the same way for her. I can feel it resist her every time she hoists it into the air.
She will beg for my forgiveness. I will give it to her. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences. It may be difficult for her to learn, but she will never do something this foolish again. A smile overcomes my face sometime during these musings.
It quickly fades as the realization that I have not yet escaped the moon resurfaces. The moon’s imprisonment will fail, but what should I do meanwhile? I have already perfected solitary tic-tac-toe. It involves a lot of coin flipping (or slightly odd-shaped rock flipping in my case) but there is some strategy to it. Solitary battleship could use some work, but it is difficult to focus. I feel drawn towards memories of easier times, when Celestia and I were inseparable.
“I have a bad feeling about this,” mutters Celestia while trotting next to me.
“You have a bad feeling about everything,” I respond, holding the six pilfered stones.
“Our intentions are good, but stealing the elements of harmony?!”
“Who could be more at harmony than us? We will beat Discord and return the elements. Father will be proud.”
I slip on one hoof after another, until I lose my balance altogether.
“He turned the roads to soap.” She offers me a hoof.
“You think we can beat him too, right?” I look up at her.
“There is nothing we can’t do together.” She pulls me up.
I feel foolish for asking, having just stated that we could beat him, but I have to know if she believes in us. I know she believes in Father and in herself but not us.
We don’t speak for the rest of the trip. I look over at my sister a few times to see a huge frown and small pupils. Despite her evident worry, at least she doesn’t complain any further about how we shouldn’t be doing this... verbally, anyway. My mind is also preoccupied by thoughts. I don’t doubt that this is a terrible idea, and that is why I can’t help but grin.
Before long, we arrive at Discord’s throne.
“So these are the daughters of King Cosmos?” says Discord. He scans over us both, but seems to eye me with particular interest before starting to smile.
“Your reign of chaos is at an end,” says Celestia.
“Your wittle daddy couldn’t stop me,” he says with his face inches away from Celestia. He laughs.
“And you can’t stop us. Ready sister?”
“Ready.”
With that our horns shoot out light that intertwines to form a rainbow. That rainbow, upon impact, forms a solid layer of stone around him. With a flash of light, Equestria is back to normal.
My sister and I quickly return to the palace, curious what praise Father will shower us with. We speculate and giggle the whole way back. It has been many years since ponies have been able to live a normal life, and each day Father looks more glum.
The great doors fling open; he does not look more pleased than before we left.
“We have beaten him, Father!” says Celestia.
“I know.”
“Are you not proud of us?” I chime in.
“Proud? Proud?! I told you to stay here!”
“But, Father!” she objects.
“Don’t ‘but, Father’ me! Do you know what could have happened to you! I’ve already lost one mare I can’t replace. Yet you expect me to be happy when you put yourselves in danger?”
This is the first time I have heard him refer to our mother.
“Equestria needed us!” shouts Celestia.
And the first time I have heard Celestia shout. I watch in shock as they continue to argue.
“Equestria needed you to steal the elements of harmony?!”
“Well somepony had to use them!”
“You’re telling me you knew they would work for you?! Poppycock! Nopony could have foreseen that they would take to you at such a young age!”
“But the fact that they did means we were the only ones who could beat him!”
“I am not having this argument with a child! There will be punishment! Now whose idea was it!?”
My throat tries to form words, but Celestia beats me to it.
“I did it!”
I want to speak up. I want to tell him that it was me. But my throat fails me, and merely aches instead. I had never cared about Father’s opinion nearly as much as Celestia, but even still I can’t bare the shame.
As I slowly trot out of the room I hear something about how, despite our new cutie marks, neither of us will raise about the sun or moon for a long time. I continue to trot away as a silent stream of tears flows down my face, until I get to our room. Then all silence is lost, as I wail into a pillow. For an hour, I contemplate what we had done, and why Father was upset with us.
Then Celestia enters the room. We didn’t have to share a room, living in a huge palace, but Celestia prefers it this way. On the rare occasion I would bring it up, Father would say something about it being good that Celestia wants for us to be close. It doesn’t normally bother me.
Today is not normal.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“It’s okay.”
I am certain she is just saying that, the way she always does. Her passive aggressive nature has always annoyed me.
“No, it isn’t.”
“Yes it is. What are sisters for?” She smiles.
I stare into her eyes skeptically for several seconds, but even the vague trace of disapproval that are continually present in her usually scrunched up face are gone. I hug her.
“Thank you.”
Initially, the memory seems almost treacherous at a time like this. But as I contemplate it, it affirms something for me. We are sisters; she can’t keep me here.
~~~
Night 452
I trot over to the counting wall. What had for months been a bunch of stray marks, was now “1 year 3 months” followed by a few lines. I had refused to change it for a while, as if somehow not expressing the need to use a system geared toward a longer stay, would allow me to break free sooner. But sheer boredom got the better of me.
I must have counted the ticks ten times. I need to know exactly how many there are. I don’t know if I will spend them on sympathy or vengeance, but they are the payment for my nights. They must be worth something.
I no longer remember what month I was sent here. However I want all my months to be consistent in value anyway, so I count them all as thirty nights. This makes for a few nights, where it has been twelve months but not yet a year. This works well though because, despite my shorthand, I think in nights anyway.
Staring at the wall makes me realize it is now exactly one year since I started to believe my sister would free me. A year shouldn’t mean anything with no light, no soil, and nopony else. Yet the realization of my feeble hope has never been so apparent as it is now that a year has passed. I thought those memories meant something. I had thought Celestia would at least visit.
I can’t imagine what has overcome her. Is her jealously so deep? Did she really never like me? Had she been awaiting the perfect opportunity? And what of the citizens of Equestria? Did not one of them notice my artistry? Is there not at least one loyal fan pleading with her? None of these questions matter though, as one fact is clear to me now. Whatever the reason, Celestia won’t lift a hoof to save me.
How was she able to use the elements against me? I was every bit as much their wielder as her. But for months this riddle had ceased to interest me. None of that matters. I am still stuck. I have repeatedly tried to tear through the rocky barrier that encases me, but there is no reason to try again today.
I lazily fall back onto the dust. Music had never been a strength of mine, nor was my memory of it from my education very clear. Yet, I had scribbled out notes, and imagined what the resulting noise would likely sound like. Countless times they had been edited just to give me something to do, but the futility of writing notes whose meaning eluded me was too much for days like today. I missed sound. I missed any noise that wasn’t my hooves or the dirt.
A sound I don’t remember the origin of echoes tauntingly through my mind. Scanning my memory for several minutes I contemplate why it sounds familiar.
A blur of white expands out of the darkness, as I hear the clutter of several objects falling. I pry my eyes open, to see Celestia digging through our closet. As much of a blessing as sunset was, it appeared to be morning, the most dreaded time of day.
“Isn’t there some other pony you could have get that for you?” I mumble.
“I have some personal items that I can’t risk leaving behind.”
“Can’t you at least do it later?”
“It’s noon.”
With a sigh, I thrust off the covers and push myself onto my feet. Could my sister really be leaving in less than an hour? “I still can’t believe Father is sending you away for what happened a month ago.”
“This isn’t about us beating Discord. Father is merely concerned.”
“About what?”
“With all the chaos that Discord had been causing, it has been years since either of us attended school. Do you know how behind we are?”
“How can we be behind? Nopony else was in school either.”
“We will be queens one day. If we don’t keep up with our education, we will never be prepared to rule this kingdom.”
“So then why aren’t I being sent away as well?”
“Because you haven’t fallen as far behind as I have. Why do you think it took me so long to get my cutie mark? It is difficult to discover talents like ours without education.”
Celestia’s eyes dart around our room. Then they settle on the clock. She slams her luggage closed, and picks it up with her mouth. Two other bags she lifts with magic.
“I really must be going. I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon, sis.”
Could she really just leave? She had always been around. What if I had a question about her? I never had, but not being able to ask frightened me.
“Celestia?”
“Yes?”
“What was our mother like?”
She freezes. All of her bags fall.
“You ask me this now?” she says drawing out the word “now.”
“You won’t be around to tell me about her.”
“You’ve never shown in interest in talking about her before” she says.
“Well, I am now.”
“I really need to go. Father is waiting.”
“Please! I’ve always wanted to ask. I was just afraid you would react like Father.”
“Do you remember anything about her?” she asks.
I stare at the ground, and shake my head.
“She used to sing me to sleep with a lullaby. She had the most delightful voice.”
She digs at the ground nervously. My sister had always been a terrible liar.
“What lullaby?” I stare intently into her eyes.
She averts my gaze. “Uh… well… It was Hush Now, Quiet Now.”
“Really? If your going to lie don’t use the plot of The Sun Never Sleeps. I’ve read it just as many times as you have.”
“I know she didn’t really sing it, but it’s what I remember. That song always reminds me of her, even though I know I’ve never heard her sing it. The only thing I remember about her, that I know is true, is how much happier Father looked.”
“That’s not even about her! You’ve always been obsessed with Father!”
Her eyes begin to tear up, but this did nothing to deflate my wrath. Did she even love our mother?
“How did she die?!” I demand.
Her eyes become more tearful and she averts her gaze.
“You owe me that much! How did she die?!”
“That I do remember. Rushing to the hospital… plastic curtains, metal carts, and the smell of urine.”
Her inability to form even a single coherent memory, made me hate her.
“I’m not asking for a jumbled list!”
“She was a nurse! She died of a disease she caught from treating a friend! Are you happy?!”
I don’t know what to say. I forget the feud my sister and I are having. Though we were usually in harmony, we had had a few, and we were bound to have more. I never realized mother died in such a tragic way. I sit in silence.
I think I eventually wished my sister a pleasant farewell but I don’t remember. I remember being in shock for the rest of the day. What a fool mother was. She valued her friend more than being there for her family. If she weren’t so selfish, I wouldn’t be trapped in the moon right now.