"Grrrrrr..."
"Don't you 'grrr' me, little one. This is only temporary."
"Mmmm..."
"I know you don't like the leash tied around your neck, but I didn't nab a collar during our shopping. We'll get you one while we're out."
"ACK!"
That sunny afternoon, Chrysalis preps herself and her cuddly accomplice for another day of trivial thievery. Checking for every detail upon her in front of a shiny definitely stolen mirror, the disguised changeling finally corrects the form of her alter ego.
"Ha ha!" she laughs mischievously. "The classic form!"
With an uncomfortable Grub hooked up, Chrysalis stands proud upon completing her full "Chrystal" disguise.
"Mmmmm..." Grub whimpers, shaking the leash off.
"Quit your whining." Chrystal huffs. "You'd rather get in the purse instead?"
The tired pup quickly darts for the purse, tipping it over on the ground as he squeezes his way inside the thing, leaving the pony now accessorized with a pupper in a purse.
"Fine, you snug?" she asks.
"Bark!"
Chrysalis grabs the tattered remains of his Twilight plushie and drops it in the purse atop the pup's panting snout. With a happy bark, Grub gnaws on the damp toy's neck, dragging it deep within the large purse and wiggling around.
"Silly little killer," Chrystal chuckles to herself. "Be sure to go for the jugular, always go for the jugular."
Popping her neck, the scheming "pony" looks out over the horizon, ready to seize the day.
And strike it hard. 😈
"Remember, stay in the bag and look cute, got it? You will be rewarded with bone biscuits."
"Ruff!"
"Good boy."
Checking out the luxurious streets of Canterlot, the peculiar partners of crime remain calm and scan the area for potential loot spots.
"So many selections to choose from," she ponders. "What do you say, Grub?"
"Yip!"
"The gardening store? Why?"
"Rrrruff! Ruff ruff!"
"I don't give a buck what you do, but there is no way I'm getting gardening supplies to fulfill your nasty mud wallowing agenda. I will NOT tolerate a filthy mutt."
"Bark!"
"We must stay stay focused, get what we need, in and out. Don't ever interact with anypony unless it's gratuitously violent, got it?"
"Ruff." Grub utters.
"I heard Princess Luna has a pet POSSUM," a mare's voice catches Chryssy's attention. "Isn't that just sad?"
Looking back, the curious changeling spots three colorful mares chilling at a quaint little cafe happily sharing rumors and gossiping around.
Yummy, yummy gossip.
"Mmm, today just got interesting..." she hums.
"Ruff!"
"Quiet, you. Back in the purse, mama's gotta mingle!"
Chrystal pokes Grub back in the bag and trots toward the group.
"Might as well have a large virus as a pet while you're at it." one of them scoffs.
"I know that's right," Chrystal chuckles. "Moonbutt's still a tad out of touch with reality, am I right?"
"May we help you?" one of them sighs dismissively.
"I couldn't help but hear some glorious gossip and felt intrigued."
"Only those who knows what's in the know sit here, ya know?" another mare states.
"I KNOW things, too. Ever heard about how somepony tricked Celestia into eating a dirt cake the other day?"
"Yeah, only the gossip-iest gossipers would know that. How did you find out?"
"Twas my own special recipe, of course."
"Bring. That flank. Here, girl!"
The giddy gals scoot to the side as Chrystal takes a seat beside them, setting her glimmy glammy purse in her lap.
"Wow, you are vicious!" one of the mares states in awe.
"I get that a lot." Chrystal shrugs playfully.
"I'm Gabby," the mare greets with a wink. "And these are my gal pals, Chit Chat, and Grapevine.
"Chrystal Wisp." Chryssy nods.
"Ruff!" Grub yips, popping his happy face out of the purse.
"And this slobbery little monster is Grub."
"O.M.C!" Chit Chat gasps. "He is, like, so adorbs!"
"Ruff!"
"Grub says thank you." Chrystal utters.
"Purse pets," Gabby nods, impressed. "Quite the fashionable one, I see, unlike that 'Fluttershee' mare that pops up here every other festival and all."
"Right, can you believe she has tea parties with animals?" Chit Chat exclaims.
"Now THESE are my kind of ponies..." Chrystal thinks.
"I heard Fancy Pants uses fake silver for his monocle, I'm so done."
"Ooh, want to hear a juicy one?" Chrystal giggles.
"Spill, spill now." the three chime aggressively in unison.
Chrystal waves a hoof in, leaning the curious gals into a huddle.
"You didn't hear it from me," she whispers. "But Shining Armor reads Your Smol Donkey comics in his spare time."
"OMC, are you kidding?" one mare cackles. "That is priceless!"
"My, my, how'd you ever find that juicy of a melon?"
"Oh, I've......been around the Crystal Empire a few times," Chrystal shrugs sheepishly. "I'm a photographer, I was around during his wedding planning with Princess Can't Dance- oop, sorry, Cadance..."
The trio erupt into a barrage of "Ooh's" and "Ahh's" at the sly jab. Soon, a waiter stallion approaches their table.
"Everything good for you ladies?" he asks, turning to Chrystal. "Anything for you, miss?"
"Ah, I don't have any-"
"I'm paying, marefriend," Gabby interrupts Chrystal. "Treat yourself!"
"Oh, nice. I'll take the blackest bitterest coffee you got. No cream, no sugar."
"Ruff!" Grub yips, popping his head out the back once again.
"Oh, fine, ONE sugarcube for Grubby. But if I find just one drop of cream or a grain of sugar in my cup, and believe me, I will know, I will grind your teeth into said sugarcube and savor every taste. Thank you, you're a peach."
The waiter gives a shaky nod before trotting off without another word.
"Fiesty," Grapevine purrs. "I like it."
"Anyways, I'm scoping for the best strategy- um, SHOTS, when Shining told me- uh, CADENCE, that he wanted to have a second honeymoon at some nerdy convention and trade in some dork comic book. She was not amused."
"How could you tell?" Chit Chat asks.
The waiter eventually returns with Chrystal's dark drink, setting it down before her. With a devious grin, she lifts the cup with her horn.
"Trust me," she hums, sipping her bitter beverage. "I just know..."
"That is just incredible, color me impressed." Gabby chuckles, sipping her drink.
"You should see what her and Princess Twilight do together. The two just moon each other just for the hay of it, they've been doing it as kids apparently."
"No, you're kidding!"
"..."
"She's not kidding! We've found another GG, ladies!"
"GG! GG! GG! GG! GG!" Chit and Grape chant.
"GG?" Chrystal ponders. "What is that?"
"Ruff!" Grub barks.
"Game? What game? When do you play games?"
"Chryssy," Gabby clears her throat, clipping a glittery diamond-encrusted watermelon shaped emblem to her purse. "You are now an official member of Canterlot's very own Gossip Gals!"
"Huh, that was easy..."
"Yip!"
"With such a fiesty addition, we'll have the hot 'n spiciest, juiciest gossip in all of Equestria!"
"Juicier than Celestia's flank? We'll drown."
The four burst into a slimy round of laughter, tipping their glasses amongst each other with girlish glee.
"Ooh, aren't you a sneaky little missy." Gabby sighs, wiping a tear from her eye.
"Believe me, you don't know the half of it, girls..."
