Batman transition
One night, at the Maretropolis Museum of Natural History, a night guard was shining his flashlight, checking to make sure all of the exhibits were in place and that security is top-notch. Ever since the recent heist from the Night Owl, not to mention the mess and collateral damages left in the wake of the master thief's latest battle with the Power Princesses, and the Niriks, security had been amped up.
The night guard was just about to enter the dinosaur exhibit, when he happen to notice an empty glass case, where a priceless artifact was supposed to be.
"Hmmm?" The night guard said, doing a double-take, as he checked the case. "What the heck?"
The case wasn't shattered, nor did it bear any signs of being cut through. And it doesn't have the calling card of the Night Owl, which ruled out the master thief of Maretropolis. What could this mean?
The next day
After school, Ken suited up to become Hum Drum, doing his patrols and exercises to keep himself in shape, and more accustomed to his suit.
"Didn't miss my bus," Hum Drum said to himself. "Got the part in the upcoming school play, with Thor. Algebra test. Nailed it! Barely... Now let's see what's happening in the big city."
Hum Drum was spring-jumping across the rooftops of the city, when he received a call on his gloves' comm link, "Hello?" He answered.
"Hey Hum Drum!" Fili-Second called. "There's a big to do at the museum! Meet me there, in the Japanese Art Exhibit! There's been another theft!"
"Okay! I'm on my way. Be there soon, Mary!"
With that, Hum Drum turned in the direction of the museum and proceeded to jump and glide across the city.
"Hmmm, another theft, huh?" Hum Drum pondered. "Could be the Night Owl again... Though, if it is, why didn't Mary call Zapp? She's the most determined to bring down that flying thief, after the..." Hum Drum shook his head, regaining his focus. "No, no time to think about that, Ken! Gotta get to the museum and check it out!"
On his way, however, Hum Drum looked down and saw some kids chasing after a runaway ball, that was rolling down the street, in the path of an incoming truck.
Reacting fast, Hum Drum whipped out his grappling hook, which he used to shoot a line, lasso around the edge of a building, to swoop down, and saved the kids, before they became road pizzas.
"WHOA!" The kids exclaimed, before Hum Drum gently sets them down, while the truck came to a halt.
"Hey kids," Hum Drum advised to the children. "No playing around in the streets."
"Yes, Mr. Humdrum," The kids complied.
"Later," With that, Hum Drum super jumps away.
"Way to go Humdrum!" A teenage girl applauded, with a few other people joining in on praising their hero-in-training.
After a long trip of super jumping and gliding across the city, Hum Drum eventually arrived at the Maretropolis Museum of Natural History.
Inside, he finds the police were already conducting their investigation of the crime scene.
“Hey guys!” Hum Drum greeted. “Got any clues?”
“No sign of breaking in,” One of the officers answered. “And no calling card from the Night Owl. Some of us are already suspecting it’s an inside job.”
“Really?” Hum Drum asked. “Did any of the museum staff members told you that?”
“Officer Shining Armor is interrogating them right now,” The officer confirmed. “Check around back. In the security room. One of your Power Princess friend is with him right now.”
“Thanks!” Hum Drum waved before he turned in the direction he was given.
As Hum Drum got closer and closer to the said room, from outside, he could hear a loud conversation going on, between Fili-Seconds, some of the staffs being interrogated, and the officer dubbed Shining Armor.
In appearance, Shining Armor appeared to be a tall, muscular young man in his 20s. He has moderate cerulean hair, matching his sapphire blue, moderate cerulean, and dark phthalo blue streaks. Like his fellow officers, he wears the MPD uniform, with the badge on the left of his chest.
Walking inside, Hum Drum finds Fili-Second pacing around a table, interrogating some of the museum staff members who were brought in for questioning.
“So! You want us to believe that YOU were taking a potty break. And YOU were sleeping on the job. And YOU went out to get some donuts. And YOU reported.”
“We don’t want you to believe,” One of the staffs groaned. “We want you to know what we know.”
“And do I know you’re on the level, hmmm?” Fili-Second asked.
“How do I know you’re not all in this together? How do I know you guys didn’t rehearse this?”
“Because I still have an upset stomach from the coffee,” One of the staffs groaned, with a gurgling sound from his stomach.
“And I’m still sleepy from drinking this coffee,” Another staff yawned.
“Okay! Sue me for liking donuts,” The gluttonous staff frowned as he takes a bite out of a donut.
“And if this was an inside job and I was in on it, then why would I set off the alarm?” The final staff frowned.
“Hmmm. Good points,” Fili-Second nodded, before she glared, “But I’m watching you guys. Always watching…”
“That’s enough, Fili-Second,” Shining Armor said, as he took over. “I’ll take it from here.”
“Excuse me, officer?” The staff with the upset stomach moaned. “C-C-Can I be e-e-excused? B-B-B-B-Restroom?”
“But you just went to the men’s room a second ago…”
Fili-Second eyed the staff members suspiciously, until she turned her head and saw Hum Drum, standing by the doorway.
“Hiya Hum Drum!” Fili-Second zipped over to the boy.
"Hey Fili," Hum Drum greeted. "Hope I'm not too late."
"Not all! You're just in time to help me with helping this city's super sleuth unsolve this mystery!"
"And...who's that?"
"ME!" Fili-Second smiled, brandishing a magnifying glass. "That's who!"
"Right... So what have we got so far?"
"Well, so far," Fili-Second proceeded to zip around the room as she pointed at each of the individual staffs. "This guy testified he was in the bathroom on the night of the robbery. This guy testified he was asleep...at his desk. This guy testified he went to get donuts! And this guy reported." Mary then zipped over to Ken and whispered, "Something smells rotten here. And I don't think it's the fish taco that guy ate..."
"I...really...need...to...go..." The jittery staff moaned.
"You don't get to go unless I tell you to go!" Fili-Second barked, before she zipped over to Hum Drum and whispered, "Yeah. It smells like an inside job."
"What makes you say that?" Hum Drum asked.
"No broken glasses? No broken doors, or windows? Four guards doing a lousy job?" Fili-Second began. "Definitely an inside job..."
"I'm the only one who was actually doing my task, last night," The guard who reported stated.
"Hmmm," Shining Armor scratched his chin, before he asked, "Please, let's go over this one more time. Tell us again what happened on the night of the robbery."
Groaning, indicating that they've gone through this many times before, the staffs complied as the guard who reported revealed, "I was doing my patrols...working!" He glared at Fili-Second.
"Whatever," Fili rolled her eyes.
"My patrols took me from the dinosaur exhibit, to the halls of culture, and I saw the Golden Neko, sitting in its glass case, in the Japanese Wing of the Asian Hall of Cultural Arts, the first time I was there. But when I showed up the second time, it was gone. And then I reported."
"And when you did, did you check to make sure if all the other exhibits were stolen?" Hum Drum asked.
"Yes. When I reported to my supervisor, I checked to make sure that all the other artifacts hadn't been stolen. Thankfully, just the Golden Neko..."
"And what was the Golden Neko exactly?" Hum Drum asked. "I know a neko is a cat in Japanese, but can you tell me a bit of history? Like what makes it so valuable? And why just that one artifact, when there's like a whole bunch of others worth a fortune on display?"
"The Golden Neko is a priceless ornate golden idol from 14th century Japan," The guard lectured. "It was the symbol of a clan of revered and powerful martial artists at the time – the Longclaw Clan. And since then, it had been in their protective care, up until the Edo Period, when it was stolen by a former member of the Longclaw Clan, who gave the Golden Neko to the Tokugawa Clan to win their favor."
"Sounds to me it worths a lot of fortune then," Hum Drum commented.
"But what happened to the Longclaw Clan?" Fili-Second asked, before she gasped. "Could this be some kind of revenge scheme? Maybe to steal back the Golden Neko?"
"Highly unlikely," The guard shook his head. "Since then, the Longclaw Clan have been extinct for centuries."
Suddenly, a loud grumbling sound broke the air, "What is that?" Hum Drum asked. "An earthquake?"
"Sorry," The jittery guard moaned, when he let out a loud fart. "Excuse me..."
"What did you ate man?" One of the staffs asked.
"Nevermind that," Hum Drum shook his head. "Tell us what happened. Like when was the time you reported it was stolen? And what was everyone doing at that time?"
The gluttonous guard spoke up, "I went out to get donuts. But I thought my co-workers would take care of things while I'm gone."
The sleepy guard spoke up, "I was at the camera screen, until Richard here decided to take a bathroom break. So I was left alone...watching the cameras, when I took a sip of my coffee and..I just blacked out..."
"Hmmm," Fili-Second went over to the sleepy guard and took his mug. "Is this the same cup you drank on the night of the robbery?"
"Yep."
Fili-Second proceeded to sniff the cup, before she dipped her finger in what's left of the concoction for a taste, "Mmmm-hmmm. Just as I thought. Powdered diphenhydramine!"
"What's a dipha-diphe... What is that?" Hum Drum asked.
"It's a powerful sleeping medicine," Officer Shining Armor stated. "You take it, and you instantly fall asleep. My wife makes me take them sometimes, every time I come home late from work."
"That was a sleeping medicine?" The sleepy guard asked. "But...why would Joe do that? He seemed like a nice guy..."
"Who's Joe?" Hum Drum asked.
"Our errand boy. He usually makes smoothie runs, or fetch some of the foods we ordered from Bucking Bronco. That place deserves a five star rating!"
"Amen," The guard, who reported, nodded.
"So...where is Joe?" Hum Drum asked. "Where can we find him?"
"He lives in an apartment, down at Starswirl Square," The guard confirmed. "It's above the Canter Club. That's all I know."
"Then that's where we're going!" Fili-Second chirped as she and Hum Drum were about to take their leave.
Suddenly, a loud fart pierced the air as the heroes, Officer Shining Armor, the Museum Guards turned to the one jittery guard.
"Jesus! What did you eat?" Officer Shining Armor asked.
"It's not my fault!" The jittery guard moaned. "Last night, I drank a cup of coffee, with the cocoa powder Joe gave me. And I've been having an upset stomach since..."
"Cocoa powder, huh?" Fili-Second walked over to the counter, picking up the first guard's cup. "This your cup?"
The guard nodded, while the speedy heroine took a whiff of the coffee that the first guard had drank, before she concluded, "Uh oh! That ain't cocoa powder! That's Choco-Lax! Short for Choco-laxative!"
"Laxative?!" Hum Drum exclaimed.
"I can't take it anymore!" With that, the guard ran towards a wastebasket, where he unfastened his belt, strips his pants down, and immediately blows up.
"Oh my god!" Officer Shining Armor exclaimed, with everyone in the room repulsed and recoiled from the foul stench.
"RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!" The staff screamed in agony, as he continues to convulse from the violent diarrhea he was experiencing. "Oh my god it burns!"
"Vile!" The other staffs commented, looking just as sick as their co-worker, while Hum Drum and Fili-Second took their leave, with Fili looking green.
"I'm bleeding!"
"That's just sick..." Shining Armor shook his head, watching as the guard has yet to unload the bomb bay...
Once outside, Hum Drum and Fili-Second were both relieved for fresh air.
"Pee-U!" Hum Drum moaned. "So glad to be out here and not in there..." He chuckled, "Now there's a scene I do not need to see again..."
"You said it," Fili-Second replied. "Now c'mon! We got a job to do! Let's find Joe's apartment and find that Golden Neko! Which way is Starswirl Square?”
“It’s all the way down on Everfree Lane and to the right, around the next block,” Hum Drum confirmed.
“Sounds like it’s just a hop and a skip away! Hold on tight, Hum Drum!”
With that, Fili-Second took Hum Drum by the hand and they zipped through the city, in a blur of hot pink, racing through crowded streets of cars, people, bugs flying into Ken’s teeth, his cheeks flapping in the air.
Then, faster than Kan could say whoa, both he and Fili have arrived.
“We’re here!” Fili chirped.
“I can tell…” Hum Drum moaned, with his eyes swirling until he regained his balance. “Canter’s Club, dead ahead. Joe’s apartment must be in there.”
“Then let’s go in and—“
“Can we do this part of the mission at a slower pace, please?” Hum Drum moaned, still dizzy from the previous burst of adrenaline.
“Okie-dokey Loki!” Fili-Second chirped. “But first. COSTUME CHANGE!”
“What?”
Batman transition
Before Ken knew it, somehow, in a heartbeat, both he and Mary were back in their civilian attires, as they walk through the main lobby of Canter’s Club.
“Whoa!” Ken exclaimed, still a bit dizzy from the sudden change. “Warn me next time we were going to do that.”
“Okie-dokey-Loki!” Mary smiled, as both she and Ken walk up to the front desk, only to find a grumpy, disheveled looking man, with a wart on the left cheek.
“Hi!” Mary greeted the man, who simply ignores the girl. “Uh, excuse me?”
“Yeah, what?!” The man finally responded in a loud, shrilly, obnoxious tone.
“Can you tell us where we can find a guy named Joe?” Mary asked.
“Who’s Joe?” The man asked, before he sarcastically responded, “Joe mama?”
“No… Hmmm. Joe mama?” Mary pondered as she repeated the last two words, before she realized, “Oooooooh, I get it!”
With that, Mary immediately broke out laughing out loud. However, the man was more annoyed than amused at Mary for getting his joke. With that, he let out a loud shrilly, whiny, gibberish scream as he left his desk and into his office.
“Well, he’s quite the conversationalist,” Ken said in sarcasm.
“Aw, c’mon, ya have to admit,” Mary giggled. “That was funny. Joe mama? Hehe!”
“But…how are we going to find Joe’s room now?”
“Simple, my dear Ken,” Mary smiled, as she dons a detective’s hat, complete with a pipe, blowing out some bubbles. “Just check for his address on the mailbox.”
Turning in the direction Mary pointed, Ken turned to see a wall of apartment mailboxes. He searched the mailboxes, until he located the name he and Mary were looking for.
“Apartment K-9!” Ken confirmed as he and Mary went up the stairs, searching for the said apartment.
On the way up, Ken started a conversation with Mary, “So, Mary. Back at the museum. Can you really tell what’s been spiked into someone’s drinks, just by smelling them?”
“Yup!” Mary smiled, proudly pointing at her nose. “This nose isn't just any nose. I can smell whatever I shouldn’t drink, or eat, before I can drink or eat it. I can even smell all kinds of ingredients used in the tiniest cookie crumbs.”
“Wow!” Ken gasped. “That’s pretty cool!”
“Hey, when you’re a detective, you need to have a nose like a bloodhound dog, an eye like a snap hawk, and an ear like a bomb bat, for clues,” Mary winked.
There was a moment of awkward silence, until Ken broke the ice, “Right… whatever kind of animals you just listed there.”
“Oh they were some of Harmonius’s fauna,” Mary chirped.
“Ah.”
At last, both Ken and Mary arrived at the apartment of their suspect, Joe.
“This is it,” Ken said. “Apartment K-9.”
With that, Mary walked up to the door and knocks, “Hello?” Mary called out. “Is a Mr. Joe home? Candygram!”
A couple of minutes passed and there was no response.
“I don’t think anyone’s home…yet,” Ken commented. “So now what?”
Reaching into her hair, Mary rummage until she pulls out a hairpin, “We go in the easy way!” She declared and proceeded to pick the lock, unlocking the door. “Ta-Da!”
Ken simply stared at Mary in amazement, “Only you would make lock picking so easy, Mary,” He commented.
“Actually, it’s elementary, my dear Ken,” Mary replied. “I saw this on a YouTube video once, about accidentally locking yourself out of a hotel room.”
The two heroes proceeded to walk into the room, to find a plethora of martial art merchandises, around the room.
“Wow,” Ken commented, looking at all the collections on display. “I see someone’s a fan…a really BIG fan…”
“Yup!” Mary agreed. “But remember why we came here. Keep a sharp eye out for clues, Ken.”
“I’m on it.”
With that, Ken proceeded to rummage through the martial arts posters and merchandise, while Fili-Second was looking through a magnifying glass, checking every nook and cranny of the room.
Ken searched through the merchandise, while observing Mary moving at a blur of super speed, she looked as if there’s multiple copies of herself.
“You seem to know what you’re looking for,” Ken commented.
“Nope!” Mary chirped, when she zipped next to Ken. “But I’m here for clues and I’m going to find them. Trouble is, I don’t know what it looks like.”
“And how do you know you’ve found it, if you don’t know what it is?”
“I know it, when I know it.”
“But…how…what…” Deciding not to question Mary’s logic, Ken shook it off as he resumed looking for clues.
Mary looked through the kitchen, when she found a box of familiar “candy” bars.
“A-ha! Choco-lax!” Mary said, opening the box up to find several bars were missing. “Obviously, Joe must’ve used these bars, pounded them into powders, and passed them off as cocoa powders to make that security guard suffer diarrhea!”
“Ugh. I don’t need a reminder of that,” Ken shuddered, when he found a string of hair. “Hey Mary. Here’s a hair. Can this be a clue?”
“Yup!” Mary smiled as she took a whiff of the strand. “Hmmm. Someone’s been using lots of hair gels. Too glossy hair. Ooh, trying to look like Bruce Lee, I see. In his thirties, weighing about the average pound of 197 lbs. Has been frequently visiting some place old, with rustic metals, and brimstone.”
“Wow, you can tell all that?” Ken asked, while thinking to himself, ‘At this point, nothing surprises me…’
Mary then walked over to a nearby window, where she lifted the frame up, to stick her head out into the city and smelled the air.
“Aw, darn it!” Mary frowned, as she closed the window. “The city’s too full of delicious smell of hot dogs, pizzas, and burgers. I can’t sniff him out!”
“Hmmm,” Ken pondered for a moment, before he took out a map of the city. “I’m no detective, but if there’s one thing my dad ever taught me. When you’re looking for a bad guy’s hideout, it helps to narrow down the search to one location.”
Ken cleared a counter of martial artist figurines, as he set his map down.
“You said that Joe’s been visiting some old place with rustic metals and brimstone, right?” Ken asked.
“Yup!” Mary confirmed.
“Hmmm, sounds like he’s gone to some kind of factory,” Ken said as he circled the specific spots in the map, of where a factory is located. “There’s the shampoo factory, the clothing factory, the steel factory…”
“Don’t forget the Sweets Factory!” Mary chirped happily. “I love that place.”
“I’m not surprised,” Ken nodded. “But didn’t you say the factory would have to be old and rustic? As in, shut down?”
“Yup.”
“Then we’ll definitely cross these guys out. And you also added that the place Joe went to has brimstone. And the only factory that’s loaded with enough heat to burn sulfur would be—“
“—the Maretropolis Steel Factory!” Hum Drum showed, to a rundown factory that looked as if it’s seen better days.
“Nice work, Ken!” Fili-Second complimented. “Maybe there’s a bit of detective in you after all!”
Ken blushed, waving off Fili-Second’s compliment.
The two heroes proceeded to search the building, looking for a way in. Hum Drum activated the sticky pads on his gloves, allowing him to scale the walls, looking for a window, or a vent, that he and Fili, can climb in. Meanwhile, Fili-Second was zipping around the building, from bottom to top, knocking on doors she could find.
“Knock knock!” Fili-Second said, knocking on a door. “This is the part when someone answers, who’s there?”
“Yo! Fili!” Hum Drum called via a comm, in Fili-Second’s ear.
“Yes?” Fili-Second answered.
“I’ve found a way in,” Hum Drum replied. “I’m inside an air vent and—WHOA!”
“Hum Drum?”
From the other side of the comm, on Hum Drum’s end, the sound of the boy wonder’s grunting, crashing, and screaming was heard.
“You okay, Hum Drum?” Fili asked.
“It feels like I have skid marks on my butt…” Hum Drum groaned on the comm. “Okay, listen. I’m going to follow the vent and see where it goes. I’ll let you know if I find anything.”
“Okie-dokey-Loki!” Fili chirped. “Be careful in there, Hum Drum!”
But then, at that moment, the smell of a sweet tasty food from a distance washes over Fili-Seconds’s nose, enticing her stomach to grumble with hunger.
“Mmmm-mmmm!” Fili-Seconds moaned hungrily. “Tum tum is making a growl growl,” Fili was about to take her leave, when she looked back at the abandoned factory Hum Drum is inside. “Meh. Ken will be fine. It’ll just be a second. Even a good detective can’t work on an empty stomach.”
In a blur of hot pink, Fili-Second zipped away into the big city, to satisfy her hungry stomach.
Inside the air vent, Hum Drum crawled through the tunnel, before he came across another air vent.
Hum Drum proceeded to lift the grate off the frame, before he poked his head in to see he is inside a hallway. Tapping his fingers, Hum Drum activated his sticky paddings, once again, to crawl along the ceilings of the abandoned facility.
“Phew!” Hum Drum winced from the smell of sulfur in the air. “This place definitely reeks of brimstone. Not exactly my recommendation for a villainous hideout. But then again, maniacs will be maniacs.”
Before long, however, the sound of chatter and an upbeat music was heard from a distance, to which Hum Drum quickened his pace, before arriving at the doorway, of a huge room.
In appearance, what appeared to have once been the processing area, has been converted into a large, makeshift skatepark, decorated in graffiti arts, arcade games, and tables for playing pool and poker.
From his perch, Hum Drum looked down to see the entire room was overflowing with, what appeared to be, juvenile delinquents, smoking, gambling, and partying to the loud music, to their content.
Many of them were skateboarding across the ramps, doing tricks, despite the dangerous settings around them, from loose cables to sharp tools.
“Check it out, anything you want, here we got!” A punk teen said, as he gave a tour to some newcomers. “Anything you wanna do, then do. You know what I’m saying? Anything.”
“You got any cigarettes?” One of the newcomers asked, to which the tour guide opened up his jacket, revealing a load of cigarettes.
“Regular or mental?” He asked.
Crawling over to another perch, Hum Drum continued to observe the activities going on below.
“Read it and weep boys,” A boy said as he showed off his cards. “Full house!”
“Aw man!” The other boys slammed their cards in frustration, having lost their gamble.
Hum Drum went off to another part of the room, to continue his observation. But with the loud music and the activities going on, it was hard for him to concentrate on the mission at hand.
“I can’t hear myself think!” Hum Drum groaned to himself. “I gotta find some place quiet.”
Looking up, seeing the ceiling goes up, and an open window sits just at the top, Hum Drum proceeded to super jump higher towards the ceiling, and used his gloves’ sticky paddings to crawl the rest of the way up the window.
Once outside, Hum Drum was relieved to the ambience sound of the city, easing his aching ears.
“Phew! This is more like it,” Ken sighed. “I’m up for Rave Nights, but not when I’m on heroes’ duty.” Tapping his ring finger, Hum Drum called Fili-Second on his gloves’ comm, “Fili! What should we do now?” However, instead of a reply, all Hum Drum received were ringtones. “Uh, Fili? Hey! Fili! Come in, Fili-Second! Can you hear me? Fili!”
“Hi! This is Fili-Second! Harmonus detective private eye! Please leave a message. And remember to SMILE!”
“Voicemail?! What…” Composing himself, Hum Drum sighed as he left the message. “Hey, Fili? This is Hum Drum speaking. I’ve checked the inside of the Steel Factory, and it’s not abandoned as we thought. It’s more of a secret getaway for teenagers to have fun. Maybe I was wrong about this place. Let’s just check someplace else.”
No sooner had Hum Drum ended his voicemail, when he received a call from Fili-Second.
“Hiya Ken!” Fili-Second answered, while munching on something.
“Wow, you answered fast,” Hum Drum commented, before he asked, “Why do you sound like you’re eating a pastrami sandwich with a slice of a Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness?”
“…What makes you say that, Kenny?” Fili-Second asked with a mouthful. “A good detective’s got to eat. And eating helps me think!”
“Hmph! Well, while you’re having snack time, I did some investigating…”
“And did you find the Golden Neko?”
“No. Looks more like a secret clubhouse for teenagers to have a blast. Doesn’t look like a typical bad guy hideout.”
“Then you gotta take a closer look, Kenny! Didn’t your mom ever tell you not to judge a book by its cover?”
“Uh…right,” Hum Drum said. “I’ll see what I can do.”
With that, Hum Drum hung up the call and went back to work, “Take a closer look, huh? And how am I supposed to do that? If I go in, someone might see me, and it could set off an alarm. So…”
Reaching an epiphany, Hum Drum pulled out a Dragon-Fly bot from his cape’s pocket, and switched it to life.
“You know the drill little guy,” Hum Drum said, releasing the little robot. “Get it and find out what we need to know.”
With that, the Dragon—Fly bot entered the factory and proceeded to hover and scour throughout the facility, looking for suspicious activity.
“With all these activities going on, finding the Golden Neko is like finding a needle in a haystack,” Hum Drum commented. “Good thing cousin Danny installed a function to filter to ID mentions of ‘Gold’ or ‘Neko’.”
With that, Dragon-Fly was able to locate some potential suspects, and finds a perch to listen in on their conversations.
“Now to isolate the surrounding sounds,” Hum Drum began, adjusting the settings on his phone, until he could listen clearly. “There we go!”
“That gold statue is worth a lot of trouble,” One of the punks commented. “You think it’ll really get the Niriks’ attention?”
“If that doesn’t even get the Night Owl to notice us, then I don’t know what will,” The other punk commented. “But the big guy is very insistent on getting it.”
“I just don’t know what the fuss is all about. It’s just a gold statue of a cat. We’ve seen a lot of those, in Chinese gift shops.”
“Not this one. It’s made out of real gold! And it’s not just a cat. It’s called a Neck-Ko.”
“What’s a Neck-Ko?”
“It’s a type cat, from Japan, I think.”
“It’s pronounced Neko,” Hum Drum said, from behind his phone. “Then again, not everyone can speak Japanese. Good news, the Golden Neko is here. Question is: Where is it?”
The Dragon-Fly resumed its flight and search for answers, when it happened to find another perch, close to a conversation between a pair of punks.
“So, I met this babe,” One of the punks commented. “Super hot, okay? She’s got a red hair, with yellow stripes in them, like she’s on fire. And I was like, ‘what’s up babe?’ And then I started showing off these kicks and punches to impress her, right? Hot babes like a dude who can throw down, right?”
“And what did she say?” The other dude asked.
“Not sure. She just walked away, and said something that sounded like ‘baka?’ I think she likes me and was hiding her blush?” Ken couldn’t help but laugh.
“You wish,” The young hero-in-training shook his head.
“So, have you heard about the Golden Cat Statue?” The first punk asked his friend. “Is Joe really on the level? We actually got it?”
“Yeah, we got it,” The other punk confirmed. “It’s all locked up, like Fort Knox, down below.”
“Whoa, so he wasn’t kidding then? There’s really a Golden statue beneath us? Then what are we doing up here, when we could go downstairs and feast our eyes on this beauty?”
“Maybe you didn’t hear what I just said. It’s locked up like Fort Knox. There’re guards down there who won’t let guys like you and me see it, or even breathe near it…”
“A-ha, the Golden Neko is downstairs,” Hum Drum concluded. “But it’s heavily guarded. These guards must be very good then, if they can keep these guys in check. But I’ll worry about that later. Right now, I need to find the way down.”
Beating its wings, the Dragon-Fly proceeded to fly from its perch, searching for its next potential targets to eavesdrop, when it suddenly spotted a strong looking man confronting two guards.
“Password: Seven Samurai,” The man said, to which the guards grant him entry into an elevator.
“Looks like I found the Forty Thieves’ secret lair,” Hum Drum commented, before he instructed the Dragon-Fly to return to him. “Okay, little dragonfly. Come back to me.”
And the little bot did exactly that.
Once Hum Drum reclaimed the Dragon-Fly, he reported his findings to Fili-Second.
“Fili! This is Hum Drum speaking,” Hum Drum called. “I have good news and bad news. The good news is: The Golden Neko is here. Bad news: They got it locked up tight, in the basement, with guards. And I hear they’re pretty dangerous.”
“Don’t worry, Kenny!” Fili-Second chirped. “We’ve faced tougher bad guys together. This’ll be a piece of cake! Speaking of cake: I’ve got a slice for you, Kenny! I’m coming back to share it with you now. And then we’re gonna kick some bad guy’s buns!”
“Sounds good to me!” Hum Drum said, looking up, expecting to see a streak of hot pink, racing towards him, which wasn’t happening at the moment. “Uh…when can I expect to see you?”
“In a little bit,” Fili-Second replied. “I can’t run after a big lunch. Especially after a round of ten burritos.”
“Oh Fili…” With that, Hum Drum ended the call, “Maybe I should check if any of the other girls are available.”
Hum Drum checked on the other Power Princesses’ current status at the time, on his gloves’ comm to show:
“I guess it’s just me and Fili today,” Hum Drum said to himself. “Okay, Hum Drum. Think. How do you get in, without drawing too much attention?”
The young hero-in-training pondered, until he came up with a plan.
Ken had changed out of his hero suit, and dons up in his civilian outfit, though he still wore his gloves and boots, in case the needs arose.
Ken casually walked into the club, which played a different song in the background.
Ken walked through the crowd, keeping a low profile as he made his way towards the elevator. At the same time, he cautiously glanced from side to side, knowing trouble is not too far behind, but ready for action.
On the way, Ken happened to see a couple teenagers working on a graffiti art — which resembles a city, at night, with the Power Princesses painted at the bottom.
“Hey, that’s pretty good!” Ken commented to the artists. “You guys captured the girls’ good sides!”
“Thanks dude,” One of the artists replied.
“You, uh…adding Hum Drum a little later?” Ken asked.
“The boy wonder?” The artist asked. “Sure. Maybe. It’s just… The Power Princesses are my favorite kind of gals, y’know? Like DC Superhero Girls!”
“Yeah, I know,” Ken shrugged, while feeling a bit dejected. “Well, keep up the good work!”
With a thumbs up, Ken was on his way to the elevator, where he gave the password: “Seven Samurai.”
Though suspicious, the guards let Ken pass, as he entered the elevator, taking him down to the lower level of the facility. Once at the bottom, Ken walked out of the elevator to follow a dimly lit hallway, before he came across a door.
Upon opening the door, Ken walked into a large room that appeared to have been refurbished into a dojo. There was a large mattress on the floor, with training dummies, punching bags, lined up along the walls. Furthermore, in the room, are a group of bigger and muscular punks, dressed in dark karate gi uniforms, throwing punches, kicks, as well as blocking maneuvers.
Some of the punks wore protective masks and paddings as they sparred with each other, while others in the room were practicing with various weapons, including a nunchuck.
“Wow,” Ken exclaimed. “These guys know their kung fu fighting.”
Just then, the strong man from earlier stepped onto a mattress, challenging one of the punks to a fight.
“Hajime!” The man said, as he threw fast and strong punches and kicks, to which the punk defended himself from. “Good!” He nodded in approval.
The punk proceeded to bow in respect, only to be kicked in the face by the man, who berated, “Never lower your eyes to an enemy!”
“Yes, Master Khan,” The punk replied.
With that, the man, identified as Khan, stood up and walked away.
Ken was suspicious of this Khan person so he decided to follow him but tried not to get too close. As he followed Khan around the corridors, Ken noticed that some of the rooms had the punks watching some old kung fu movies. Such movies were Enter The Dragon, Game of Death, Armor of God, The Karate Kid, and many, many more. Ken was a little confused by this as to why would these guys watch so many martial arts movies but decided to push it in the back of his mind right now.
After going through some corridors, Khan has stopped at a large golden door with cats on it with Ken getting behind a statue. Reaching into his pocket, Khan brought a special key and used it to open the door. After going through it, Khan closes the door behind him and locks it.
Ken looks around and sees a vent near the door, “Bingo.” He smirked. He then quickly dons up his Hum Drum suit once more and makes his way to the vent. From there, Hum Drum proceeded to crawl and follow the vent’s path, before arriving at an opening. Hum Drum peered through the grates, to see a golden statue of a cat, encased in a glass box.
“That must be it! The Golden Neko!” Hum Drum exclaimed, before he proceeded to remove the grate cover and slowly crawled along the roof, to the wall, until he’s at a decent height to gently drop himself to the floor.
Hum Drum walked over to the glass case, containing the Golden Neko. Unfortunately, the young hero-in-training had neglected to check for traps, and had set off the alarm, when he tripped a hidden laser.
“Uh oh…” Before long, the doors opened wide and the room was flooded with a whole army of punks.
Standing before the pack, Khan stood, glaring at the boy, before he raised his hand up to signal, “Attack!”
The punks all charged in to throw kicks and punches at Hum Drum, who quickly whipped out his metal staff, spinning it around to warm himself up with it, before he stood in a fighting stance.
With a spin of the staff, Ken quickly blocked and deflected a punch from one of the punks, then he retaliated with a jab to the nose. From that position, Hum Drum thrusted his staff in a backward jab, catching another punk in the stomach, from behind.
Another punk lunged at Hum Drum, on his left, throwing a few simple punches, and a front kick, which Hum Drum quickly avoided by backing away, before he caught the kick in his arms and threw the punk away, crashing into several of his comrades.
A loud scream was heard, to which Hum Drum turned his head and was met with a jab to the nose, by a muscular, but slender punk, wielding a pair of sticks. The punk let out an ear splitting shriek, similar to Bruce Lee’s, as he charged towards Hum Drum, throwing rapid jabs and swings of his sticks at the young hero-in-training. In retaliation, Hum Drum quickly held his retractable metal staff up to block and parry with the punk’s rapid swings. And when the sticks weren't able to breach Hum Drum’s defense, the punk resorted to throwing a kick, which Hum Drum caught, hooking the punk’s leg with his staff, leaving his torso open for the hero’s counterattack, knocking the wind out of the punk.
Eventually, all the other punks charged in to throw rapid punches and kicks at Hum Drum, who continued to retaliate with swings of metal staff.
During the fight, Hum Drum couldn’t help but notice how the punks’ fighting style seemed to be all over the place, instead of one specific martial art style. Their fighting maneuvers seemed rather flashy, high-risking, and reckless. It was as if their techniques were merely copycat versions of the ones seen on the TVs.
‘Have these guys been brainwashed by those TVs, or what?’ Hum Drum thought to himself.
Needless to say, courtesy of the fighting lessons he received from Zapp and Mistress Marvelous, Hum Drum succeeded in knocking out the majority of the punks.
“Who wants more?” Hum Drum challenged.
Unfortunately, the cocky hero-in-training neglected to keep his guard up, and received a hit to the head from behind, by the man, Khan.
End of Fight Song
Losing consciousness, Hum Drum fell to the floor, flat on his face, with Khan looking over him, holding an iron bar in his hands.
“Tie him up…” Khan instructed the remaining punks.
At that moment, Fili-Second finally came back.
“Mmmm-mmmm!” Fili-Second wiped her mouth clean of food crumbs, before she let out a burp. “Ooh! Those bean burritos really do come back to haunt you, silently, but deadly.” She giggled at her own joke, before she tapped a finger to the comm in her ear. “Okay, Hum Drum! I’m ready to kick some bad guys’ butts! You ready?”
Unfortunately, the only response Fili received was the sound of statics.
“Uh, Hum Drum?” Fili asked. “It’s me! Fili-Second! I’m back from lunch. I repeat: I’m back from lunch. Are you ready to kick butts?” Once again, Fili didn’t get an answer. “Hello? Hum Drum! You’re starting to scare me, and it’s not funny! Hello? Hello?”
After a second, it finally dawned on Fili-Second that the young hero-in-training isn’t answering and is in big trouble.
“...This is all my fault…” Fili said to herself. “Me and my big stomach…And now, Hum Drum’s captured...” Fili-Second kicked a discarded can, before she shook her head, snapping out of her funk. “No! No time to feel sorry for myself! I gotta get in there and get Hum Drum out!”
Looking down at her left wrist, Fili-Second tapped a finger, projecting a screen, showing the schematics of the building and a blinking dot.
“Good thing the girls and I had installed a tracking device into Hum Drum’s suit!” Fili-Second smiled, before she shifted to a look of determination. “Hold on, Hum Drum. Here comes Fili-Second!”
With a rev of her feet, Fili-Second charged into the facility, startling the punks inhabiting the place.
“Alright, punks!” Fili-Second said in a forced gruff voice. “You feeling lucky, punks? Well...do ya?” Before the punks had time to answer, in the blink of an eye, Fili-Second had already ran circles around the entire pack, and tangled everyone from head-to-toe, in toilet papers.
One of the punks tried to hop away to escape, but he tripped and was about to fall flat on his face, when Fili caught him, turning him around to face her.
“Joe, I presumed?” Fili-Second identified.
“What? H-H-How did you know?” The punk, identified to be Joe, asked.
“The smell of Choco-Lax, short for Chico-Laxative, is still fresh as the Spring breeze on your shirt,” Fili-Second confirmed, before she begins to interrogate. “Okay, bun, start talking!” Fili-Second snarled like an angry dog. “Where’s Hum Drum?”
“Ken?” A girl’s voice called to him. “Ken!”
“…Kara?” Ken muttered.
“Get up, you dork! Get up!” Kara replied in his subconscious.
Hum Drum slowly came too. He realized he was tied to a chair, with the Golden Neko, encased in a glass box, on his right.
“Wha-Where am I? What’s-What’s going on?” Hum Drum exclaimed, as he struggles to escape from his bindings.
“Don’t move, boy,” A voice spoke, to which Hum Drum turned to see it was none other than the man, Khan. “Who are you? And how did you find this place?”
“Who wants to know?” Hum Drum asked, before he received a back slap from Khan.
“You would be wise to hold such disrespectful tone towards me, boy!” Khan spatted. “Now, tell me. Who are you. And why are you here?”
“Name’s Hum Drum,” Hum Drum replied. “Boy wonder. Maretropolis’s hero-in-training. And I’m here for the Golden Neko that you guys stole from the museum.”
Khan turned his head to look at the statue, and smiled evilly, “Ah, yes, the Golden Neko,” Khan nodded. “But tell me. Are you familiar with its history?”
“Kinda. I know for a fact that it was a sacred idol to a clan of martial artists, who kept it as their National treasure. I think they called themselves, the Longclaw Clan.”
“Then you should know, that we are indeed the Longclaw Clan!” Khan revealed. “And with our sacred idol back in our clutches, we shall perpetuate our presence to the world, once more, for we are LONGCLAW!”
“Whoa!” Hum Drum exclaimed. “For real? You guys are the Longclaw Clan? But I thought the clan was extinct…a long time ago.”
Khan simply chuckled, as he revealed, “It was extinct. Until years ago, it was revived and rebuilt by our master. And now, we serve the master’s will, to reclaim the Longclaw Clan’s riches and valued treasures and restore it to its rightful place in history.”
“You’ll never get away with it, Khan!” Hum Drum said in defiance. “My friend, Fili-Second and I will stop you!”
Khan chuckled at Hum Drum’s defiance, “We shall see, little boy,” He said. “We shall see if she can survive…the Floors of Pain.”
Floors of Pain – First Floor
Fili-Second arrived on the first floor, in a recognizable yellow jumpsuit with black stripes on the sides.
“Hum Drum?” Fili called.
However, instead of Hum Drum, standing across the room in front of her, blocking the doorway to the next floor, stood a tall man, with blond curly hairs styled into a pompador, a pronounced chin, and wears a white karate gi, with a black belt, wielding a pair of nunchucks.
"Halt!" The man boasted, while showing off his skills with the nunchucks. "You shall not pass, unless you defeat me! The Nunchuck Champion of Pimento University Tom DoVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!"
The man was too boastful about his skills with the nunchucks, that he had carelessly neglected to exercise caution, and ended up hitting himself in the bread basket.
“Ooh, that’s gotta hurt…” Fili winced, before she zipped out the unguarded doorway. “Anyway, take care, Tom! I’ve got a friend to save!” She said, leaving poor Tom to clutch his smartened manhood.
Floors of Pain – Second Floor
“Hum Drum? Are you here?” Fili asked, upon entering.
“Halt!” Shouted the voice of another fighter.
This time, he is a dwarf man, with a pointy nose, dressed in a samurai garb, and a straw hat, wielding a sword, surrounded by scarecrows.
“None shall pass, unless you beat me! Dick Dover!” The swordsman introduced himself.
Then, as if to demonstrate his prowess, Dick let out a loud scream as he viciously slashed his katana at the surrounding scarecrows in the room, with the intense speed and grace of a samurai. He cut the scarecrows in half, decapitating their heads, torsos, and arms, like butter.
Once the man came to the end of his demonstration, Fili-Second rapidly clapped her hands, applauding his feat.
“Wow!” Fili-Second applauded. “You’ve got some decent swings there, Dick!”
Before Dick could reply, he was startled by the sound of squeaking, which his fear quickly realized when he looked to see a mouse at his feet.
“EEEEEEEKKK!!!” He let out a girlish scream, before he ran blindly around in circles and crashed into a wall, knocking himself out cold.
Fili look down at Dick Dover, before she shrugged and races off into the next floor.
Floors of Pain – Third Floor
“Who’s next?” Fili-Second challenged.
Standing across the room was Fili-Second’s final opponent who stands between her and Hum Drum. A portly, curly-haired boy, clad in paddings, of a baseball umpire.
“Wow! Congratulations!” The boy saluted. “You must be good! You’re the first to have reached my floor in a long time.”
“…Nah,” Fili shook her head. “To be honest, your friend Tom whacked himself real hard in the bread basket. And your friend, Dick, was scared of a little mouse. So…it’s been an easy victory.”
“Well then, your luck’s about to run out, because now you deal with me! Larry Dover!”
“Hey! All your last names are Dovers,” Fili-Second realized. “So, you guys are brothers? If so, what do you call yourselves? The Dover Bros? Or the Three Dovers?”
“Actually, we just call ourselves the Dover Boys,” Larry admitted, before he gets into a fighting stance. “Enough talk! Let’s dance!”
“No thanks. You’re not my type,” Fili kids, before she shrugged, “But if I must…”
Reaching into her hair, Fili-Second pulls out a boom box and plays a loud upbeat musical remix from the 70s.
Kung Fu Fighting Dance Remix
Caught off guard, Larry was dumbstruck, and found himself even more dumbfounded when Fili-Second zipped over to him, pulling him onto the floor, for a dance-off.
Needless to say, Fili-Second was dancing circles around Larry, as she quickly went from doing the moonwalk for one minute, then shimmy at the last second, does a flaring breakdance, and chaining it all into a reject dance step.
Larry tried to keep up with Fili-Second’s choreography. But he just wasn’t fast enough to keep up with the girl’s super speed. He fumbled with his two steps, which looked like three steps to him, he tripped over his own feet, until he finally, he was so dizzy, that he collapsed on the floor.
“Every…body…loves…Kung Fu…fighting…” Larry moaned with swirls in his eyes.
Once more, for the last time, the entrance to the next floor was left unguarded, and Fili-Second raced up to the rescue.
Floors of Pain – Final Floor
Upon arriving to the final room, Fili-Second at last found Hum Drum, tied to a chair, with Khan standing by his left, and the Golden Neko, on the right.
“FILI!” Hum Drum shouted.
“HI HUM DRUM!” Fili returned the greeting, before she snarled at Khan. “Okay, bad guy! Let my friend go or—“
“Not another step,” Khan threatened, as he pointed the alien girl’s attention to the floor, revealing a web of lasers. “Trip even a single line, the boy dies.”
To validate his threat, Khan pointed to Ken’s chair, revealing that it is in fact an electric chair, wired to kill Hum Drum via electroshock, if Fili trip one of the lasers.
“You big dumb meanie!” Fili-Second frowned in disgust.
“Fili, be careful!” Hum Drum cried, with so many of his sweat drops raining down from his head, to the floor.
Nevertheless, Fili-Second was several steps aside, as if time slowed down, from her perspective.
One of Hum Drum’s sweat drop was halfway from touching the floor, when Fili-Second started to move through the laser grid.
However, instead of tripping the lasers, Fili had pulled out a pair of mirrors in her hair, which she used to reflect and deflect the lasers away from her, and making sure none of them hits Ken, or Khan.
While this is happening, Fili-Second was moving and grooving, as if she was doing the moonwalk, the Egyptian dance, and a bit of ballet, until she finally reached Hum Drum.
Putting her mirrors away, back into her hair, Fili-Second exchanged them for an arsenal of tools, from a screwdriver, a bolt cutter, a drill, even a hammer, which she used to expertly cut the wirings, while singing to herself a merry tune.
“🎶Cut the blue wire and not the brown!
Or you’ll blow up, the whole darn town.
🎵Cut the red wire to make your mom proud! Or you’ll end up in a MUSHROOM CLOUD!”
With that, Fili-Second was able to rescue Hum Drum, before she puts Khan in his place. As an added insult to injury, she speedily dumped a whole carton of chocolate flavored laxative into the man’s mouth.
After young Hum Drum was saved, Fili-Second turned her attention towards the Golden Neko, breaking it out from its glass containment, as both she and Hum Drum make their daring escape. Just as the sweat drop had splashed on the floor.
“What?” Khan exclaimed, upon realizing the sudden change of development, all in such a short amount of time.
The man finds himself, glued to the now disabled electric chair, in place of where Hum Drum was, with the he Golden Neko gone.
“What? How? Who? When? Where?” Khan exclaimed in denial, before he felt his stomach grumbling. “What…is this?”
“KHAN!” A loud voice boomed, to which Khan looked up with dread to see a tall, dark figure, clad in a suit of armor, glaring from a monitor screen, mounted on the ceiling.
“Master!” Khan greeted.
The man in the screen turned his head to the side, and was displeased to see the sacred Golden Neko was gone.
“The Golden Neko!” The master growled in a low, graveling voice. “Where is it?”
After the Golden Neko was recovered, and returned to the museum, both Hum Drum and Fili-Second were sitting on the roof, enjoying themselves to scoops of ice creams.
“We did a good job today, huh Fili?” Hum Drum asked. “Another score for the good guys. Though, no offense, but you were kinda cutting it a little too close for comfort, back there.”
“Yeah. But it worked, didn’t it?” Fili chirped. “And we took back the gold, and kicked some bad guys’ butts! So stop worrying.”
Unable to argue with that, Hum Drum nodded, “I guess you’re right,” He sighed, as he licks his cookie dough ice cream, before he clutched his head. “Oh! Brain freeze!” He cringed even harder when he felt a throbbing sensation on the spot, where he was struck. “Oh! Brain freeze and concussion combo…”
“Oh Ken,” Fili-Second giggled.