Purple Heart sat down next to Twilight and Wits as the two poured over a selection of papers for no real reason.
“So,” he said, eyeing the pair of ponies. “Goldfish, right?”
Wits looked up and stared straight ahead at the wall opposite him. “I don’t like where this is going.”
“Goldfish, a fish known for its terrible memory,” Twilight rattled off, not looking away from the papers.
“Correct,” congratulated Purple. “Now, a goldfish that’s got a REALLY bad memory is an Old Goldfish. Goldfish squared if you will.”
Wit glared at Purple Heart and Twilight sighed.
“Now listen. Hear me out. An old goldfish in a freezer… Cold Old Goldfish.”
“Oh no,” groaned Twilight.
“Now. Now… An old goldfish in a freezer with the periodic number 79 is a…?”
Wits blinked slowly. “...A Gold Cold Old Goldfish.”
“YES!” crowed Purple. “Now. How’s about THIS: An old goldfish in a freezer with the periodic number 79 with overripe cheese is a Mold Gold Cold Old Goldfish.”
“I hate you,” Twilight swore.
Purple Heart continued. “An old goldfish in a freezer with the periodic number 79 with overripe cheese on a moor in England is a Mold Gold Cold Old Goldfish on a Wold.”
“Severely. Hate you,” added Wits.
“An old goldfish in a freezer with the periodic number 79 with overripe cheese on a moor in England that you can’t buy?”
Twilight shook her head. “…I’m not saying it.”
“A Sold Mold Gold Cold Old Goldfish on a Wold.”
The two horned ponies shared a long, painfilled look.
“How about an old goldfish in a freezer with the periodic number 79 with overripe cheese on a moor in England that you can’t buy from a library?”
Twilight looked over her shoulder at the rest of the Mane Six plus Light Patch and Spike lounging around the study. “None of you will report me if I kill him, will you?”
“Go ahead.”
“I didn’t see anything.”
“What?”
Purple’s grin looked like it was about to split his face. “An on Hold Sold Mold Gold Cold Old Goldfish on a Wold.”
A corona of light blossomed around Twilight’s horn.
Purple Heart hid below the table and peaked over the edge at the magical mare.
“Wait, wait! An old goldfish in a freezer with the periodic number 79 with overripe cheese on a moor in England that you can’t buy from a library that’s in sushi! A Rolled on Hold Sold Mold Gold Cold Old Goldfish on a Wold!”
“What are you waiting for?” Rainbow complained. “Just kill him already.”
“BUT WAIT! THERE’S TWO MORE!”
Wits turned to glare at his purple friend. “Only two?”
“An old goldfish in a freezer with the periodic number 79 with overripe cheese on a moor in England that you can’t buy from a library that’s in sushi and is not Fluttershy!”
Twilight and Wits blinked. Long. And slow.
“…A Bold Rolled on Hold Sold Mold Gold Cold Old Goldfish on a Wold,” they chorused.
“AND THE FINAL ONE! An old goldfish in a freezer with the periodic number 79 with overripe cheese on a moor in England that you can’t buy from a library that’s in sushi and is not Fluttershy that has also been phoned by Galop is a… Polled Bold Rolled on Hold Sold Mold Gold Cold Old Goldfish on a Wold!”
Magical light surged and blinded the spectators. When the blinding light diminished, they could see a stone statue of Purple Heart frozen in laughter.
“I am seriously resisting the urge to punt him through the window,” Twilight muttered.
“Just leave him. It's quiet. For now.”
“...Fine.”