Pinkie Pie's right eye twitched. Then her tail puffed up, left eye twitched twice, and finally her ears turned ninety degrees. It could mean only one thing. Somepony had gone scuba diving and didn't invite her! Well, she wouldn't stand for that. Immediately she started writing invites to her five close friends. There was going to be a Scuba Party.
"This is," Spitfire began as she gave another stroke to propel herself, "fantastic!"
"I knew you'd enjoy it," Celestia remarked. "But we must be cautious. There are cave sharks further down."
Spitfire stared blankly. "You can try harder than that."
The Princess had to admit that the orange mare was making her be more creative. She needed to make something up to spice up their adventure. A little magic would probably help. Suddenly she got an idea. A terrible aweful idea.
They started their descent into the dark depths and the range of their vision expanded as the light from Celestia's horn moved down with them. Slowly the light from above grew dimmer until only the alicorn lit their surroundings. The pegasus, however, was not so keen on picking out the fluctuations in the light that indicated that the Princess was doing something else with her magic. Spitfire was too enthralled by the diving experience anyhow.
Still they swam. The pool was endlessly deep and yet there hadn't been any "branches." It was only a large and round hole that seemed to continue forever. Perhaps Twilight might have pointed out how odd it was that such a pool existed. Clearly it could not have been formed by the natural deterioration of water. Was her life really so boring that she wanted to hear Twilight's scientific ranting? Ah, but it was so endearing.
"What's that?" Spitfire asked.
Now broken from her inner musing, Celestia propelled herself towards her friend. The orange mare had made her way over to one of the smooth walls. On it was an inscription. Somepony had chiseled a message straight into the rock.
"It says 'Don't stay in the dark.' What's that supposed to mean?"
The white mare considered the possibilities. "Perhaps it's a warning. There might be something down here but it doesn't come out when there is light. After all, I've only ever come down here with something to see by."
Spitfire blew it off. "I've never heard of anything like that. Besides, I haven't seen anywhere something could hide. This whole thing is just a straight drop."
"Then shall we?" Celestia gestured for them to continue.
Again they descended and again they discovered a message on the wall. The pegasus was curious all the same and decided to read it. She couldn't help it because it felt too much like a trail of crumbs. Seeing the trail, anyone would want to find what lay at the end.
"It says 'It starts with the wings,'" she read. "Seriously?"
"Have you ever seen or heard about Tartarus?" Celestia asked offhand.
The fearless 'Bolt captain didn't follow the train of thought. "Huh? Why you ask?"
Having placed the seed of thought, the Princess motioned once again to continue the swim down.
After a moment of silence between them, Spitfire spoke up. "If this pony knew how bad this thing was then why did she - or he - chisel random short warnings about it along the way?"
"I've known ponies that have done very strange things when angry or frightened. Strong emotions can lead to some very irrational decisions."
Her question was logical but she couldn't deny that the Princess was also being reasonable about the answer. It was very true, after all. Some ponies didn't even need a strong emotion for irrational behavior. Soarin' was living proof of that.
When the third message came into view, Spitfire noticed that Celestia's light was starting to flicker. This one was long unlike the previous two. Nevertheless, she read aloud, "That makes three of them. 'I only regret that these messages are all I can do. Perhaps they will save somepony. I now carve in the dark as my light has given out. Something seems to be touching my win-'"
Suddenly Celestia's light imploded and they were immediately wrapped in complete blackness. Something was moving through the water. It was the sound of something big swimming towards them and moving fast. Spitfire forgot any and all doubts and began to panic. "Celestia!!"
Something grabbed her wings and yanked backwards. It felt like something wanted to tear them off. Something strained, snapped, and a chill ran through her spine. Her eyes rolled back and she passed out.
Light came back slowly but everything felt wrong. There was no water and something felt soft - like she was on a bed. Her senses continued powering up and she began hearing a sound.
"...Spitfiiirrrre..."
Somepony was calling - almost singing - her name.
"...Spitfiiirrrre..."
It was soothing like the morning sun.
"...Sugarmuuuufiiiiiiiin..."
She flung out with her right hoof.
Even as Celestia fell backwards while holding her now-punched nose, Spitfire let out a stream of apologies. It was only a natural reflex, she explained. But the orange mare returned to a frown when she saw the Princess snickering behind the the hooves that held her face.
"I suppose I should apologize since I was the one that made you faint in the first place."
"Wha-" Spitfire stopped short as the memory flooded back. She had passed out during their dive because of the supposed Monster of the Deep. Apparently, it had merely been a streak of mischief from the Royal. "You!"
Holding her hooves up, Celestia faked an attempt to protect herself from the wrath of the pegasus. "It was just a joke. I didn't think you'd take it so hard!"
"You don't sound very sincere about that," Spitfire complained. She turned in the bed so that she could get up and out of it but, realizing how soft and warm the expensive sheets were against her coat, she found she didn't have the nerve.
"Spitfire's a fierce name but you sure didn't look that way when I carried your body out. You make the cutest expressions when you're sleeping-"
Bam! Spitfire threw a pillow at Celestia and was reaching for another when she heard yet another apology. The 'Bolt captain had her fill, "You should really be more careful with that mouth of yours. Or am I the only one you like to mess with?"
Celestia considered it and realized that she really had been overly playful with the mare. It was probably a result of her pent up stress finding an outlet. Whatever the case, she wasn't about to let Spitfire get away with her little "episode."
"There are others. Really, it's not like I'm bullying. You're the one that asked to be trained."
Spitfire begged to differ, "And how is faking an underwater monster considered training?" She grabbed hold of the unthrown second pillow and hugged it as she feigned a pout.
"Nerves," Celestia responded as she struck a pose. It looked like she belonged on the front of some political magazine.
"Huh? How's-"
"You must have nerves of steel if you want to pull off the Bullet. If you hesitate then you die," she remarked coolly.
Spitfire knew it was a dangerous move but still had much to learn about the details. "It's called the Bullet?"
"Well that's one name I've given it," the white mare smiled. "More importantly, it can be lethal if you don't do it perfectly. If you hesitate at any point before achieving ignition then you can easily plow yourself a farm...with your head."
Spitfire grimaced. She had experienced a few failed stunts in the past that had sent her careening out-of-control and straight to the ground. Such things were particularly dangerous when the failure came at high speed. There was never time to consider pulling up before you meteor'd yourself into your own grave.
"If you hesitate at any point after achieving ignition then you can...well...catch fire," Celestia explained with just a hint of amusement.
That didn't seem to be an issue. "I thought that was the point," the orange mare balked.
Celestia climbed the bed and sat on one the the upper corners. Looking down, she addressed her friend, "The fire ignites around you and your speed prevents it from harming you. If you don't exit the move properly then the fire will catch up and roast you alive. I didn't just want to have fun with you - although I did. The reason I tried to scare you was to test your nerve."
Spitfire fell silent as she listened to the older mare explain. She hadn't expected it even though, in retrospect, she should have. Celestia was turning everything into a part of her training. Perhaps exercise alone wasn't enough to get her ready.
"I know you're comfortable at high speeds but it's not the same for the Bullet. You will experience a very unsettling moment at ignition. It will almost feel like you escaped incineration with a singed tail and, frankly, that's what it is. There's a flash of heat, light, and sound - each of which can cause you to jolt and exit prematurely. That would be very bad. It took me the longest to get over the sound, though. The explosion is quite loud..."
"You mean you got it wrong? More than once?" Spitfire finally interrupted.
Celestia gave up her normally positive appearance for a frown. "My coat looked more like coal for a while. I would have been dead if not for my ability to use magic. You don't have that privilege, Spitfire. That's why you can't mess up."
Spitfire nodded solemnly only to bury herself further into the sheets. It must have been the advantage of royalty because the bedding was so soft that she was tempted to spread her wings out just to feel the comfy fabric.
There was a knock at the door and Celestia rose to answer it. Spitfire couldn't see who it was but the ruler returned after a few phrases to the visitor. "Something has come up. You have a performance you needed to attend to, right? I remember you mentioning something about it earlier."
Spitfire's heart raced. She had almost forgotten about it! The fear of forgetting to show at a performance was akin to having a heart attack. "I do! Pony feathers! What time is it?"
"Nearly sunset. Would it be possible for you to call off your personal appearance?" Celestia asked worriedly as she moved over to a bookshelf across the room. Quickly finding some thick-looking book, she began pulling it out using her magic.
"I suppose I could if I got a letter to Soarin'. Why do you ask?"
Celestia didn't look back over at her as she turned towards the bed while focusing on flipping through the pages of the book. "Your little nap in the pool wasn't good for your health. Honestly, I didn't expect it would go over so badly. I would like you to stay and rest early."
The Princess' tone had moved more to her public voice. She was more crisp and authoritative in her speech. Spitfire couldn't refuse. "If you say so then I guess I shouldn't argue. Could you get a letter to Soarin' for me?"
"Easily," she finally looked up from the book now that she was beside the bed. "Now rest," she leaned over to touch her horn to the pegasus' forehead. There was a faint glow and the pony was asleep.
Being careful to keep the letter anonymous, the Princess quickly penned a letter and had it sent express to the stallion in question. With that affair settled, she walked briskly out of the room with the thick book still in her magical grasp.
"I will not defer!"
Celestia entered the Royal Court just in time to hear the outburst. Luna was seated high on the throne, looking somewhat unsettled. The outburst had thus come from below. A single Earth pony faced her sister from the court floor. He wore heavy garments that screamed political militant and was in every respect a foreigner. The white mare was quickly able to understand the situation - adding what she had been told earlier by the court messenger and what she hastily grabbed out of the heavy book (otherwise titled the Record of Sovereign Registries and Foreign Treaties: Circa 3rd Era of the Sun).
"I did not travel from Oljav to have this travesty swept under your royal rug," the stallion emphasized the final word with disgust.
"Perhaps we'll resolve it now then," Celestia replied as she approached him from behind.
The foreigner clearly had steel nerves deserving of his apparent rank because he wasn't surprised in the slightest by the sound of her voice. Coolly, he turned around to face her. "I would prefer it. Remove the ponies from our southwest border and pay 150,000 hues for damages. I will then consider the matter closed."
He didn't beat around the bush, Celestia had to admit. Taking note of Luna's relieved expression behind them, she took the problem upon her shoulders. "I apologize on behalf of my citizens for what happened. I will take measures to ensure no further mistakes are made regarding our borderlines. I think, however, that you may be using old exchange rates for our bits. 80,000 hues should be sufficient to pay for your lost timber."
The stallion stared daggers into her. Perhaps he really did have a military background and didn't merely dress the part as so many others did. "My rates are exact. It was not any normal timber that your citizens raided. It was darkwood, which is slow growing and immensely valuable. 150,000 hues."
Celestia had anticipated this. Regardless of exchange rates, the going price for darkwood was volatile. "95,000 then. That is the price within your own country. It completely covers all damages."
"150,000. That is the price in your country. The price your little thieves will sell it at and the amount your people will benefit from. Any less and I'll have to take the darkwood back personally. By force."
"What is your name," Celestia asked nearly in a growl. The stallion had no sense of politeness and was even making threats.
"Actus. It would pain me to hear you use my title, so just call me Actus. I have full authority by my country to do anything and everything necessary to protect our people," his fierce gaze never faltered. The intensity of his presence seemed to indicate there was something personal about the whole affair even though there likely wasn't.
"Well then, Actus," the alicorn forced herself not to say the name with spite, "150,000 hues it is. For your reference, that is equal to about 1,230,000 of our bits. I trust your people will be pleased."
She expected him to break into an evil smirk but he never did. In the same guarded tone and expression he replied, "Satisfactory. And I do hope we will be able work together in the future on more pleasant matters."
With a noted lack of menace, the stallion turned and exited the court with a brisk pace. He was indeed notable, Celestia concluded. He was stern, sharp, and intimidating...and yet unusually professional about it. Perhaps it all wasn't that special except in comparison to her usual cases, which involved subjects and foreign creatures either too timid or hot-blooded to make a rational request.
With a knowing look passed to Luna, she knew that the deal would be swiftly carried out. Well, she thought to herself. Another day of tragedy avoided. My job is so fun.