Chapter Thirty: Of Dumps and Dragons
Written by TheCrimsonDM
Rarity couldn't bear this torment any longer, first it was a horde of cats in her bedroom, then her dresses came to life and began attacking her, finally she found incriminating messages scrawled on her walls in magical energy lines about revealing some hidden truth about Sweetie Belle. Rarity could only be glad that Sweetie was out and staying with her parents for some time. Rarity was no longer in a playful mood, and she couldn't tolerate this any longer. So there she was marching over to Twilight Sparkle's treehouse for a confrontation that would either result in Twilight relenting her torture or in her immediate demise, either way she'd be free of this curse.
Opening the door Rarity walked in and saw Twilight sitting there at the table and staring directly at her with a cool expression on her face. Almost as if she was expecting this. The realization made her shiver and Rarity spun around to leave but found a red aura forcefully drag her inside. The door shut and locked behind her and Rarity was set down in front of Twilight who was tapping her hooves together.
Twilight smiled. "Rarity, this is a surprise, why did you come to visit me?"
Rarity was stuck here now, and unlike Twilight she couldn't teleport places. Looking around she also realized her only potential safeguard, witness, and secret special friend was not here. Well she might really die now. "I'm here to ask you to stop pranking me."
Twilight's grin grew. "Oh, am I doing that now? Why would I be doing that?"
Rarity glared at her. "I think we both know exactly why you’re pranking me. And I believe Spike told you there should be no negative consequences. These count as very negative consequences."
Twilight leaned forward on the table. "Now, why would I do something like that? It's not like you violated my trust at all is it?"
Rarity met her manic friend's eyes. "You are right, I did violate your trust, and for that I apologize. Yet I think this has gone on long enough. I am sick of this and I haven't even done anything with Spike in weeks."
Twilight smiled. "Oh then where is he right now?"
"Clearly you sent him off somewhere to get him out of your hair while you threatened me."
Twilight's smile waved. "Tell the truth, Rarity. Where is he?"
"How should I know?"
"So you really don't know anything about the green roses that he was carrying with him to a certain restaurant?"
Rarity raised an eyebrow. "Who in Celestia's green Equestria would ever design something as awful as green colored roses?"
Twilight blinked. "But... what about the emerald hooflet?"
"I will admit, emeralds have a nice shine to them but still green."
"The green lipstick I found on his neck?"
Rarity's eyes widened. "GREEN LIPSTICK! OH THE HORROR!"
Twilight slumped forward. "So... you mean to tell me, you’re not the one he's been sneaking off to do the dirty pony hustle with?"
Rarity was the one frowning this time. "Excuse me, I will admit that me and him may have done a few more adventurous things in the past but I have only been intimate with Applejack the past few weeks."
Twilight grumbled. "Then who the Tartarus is sleeping with my baby?"
"I should be the one angry here, he didn't even tell me he had a side affair."
Twilight glared up at her. "Side, affair?"
"I meant, an affair, period."
Twilight growled. "I am not going to let you off the hook yet, but so long as you aren't doing anything with him currently, I will cease and desist with my pranks."
"Thank you... also, I suppose you should know he is certainly old enough to breed for a dragon."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Just because he could speak full sentences as well as I could by the age of two years old, and he has memories of a time before I turned that rock into a dragon does not mean he is old enough to breed."
Rarity blinked. "He has memories from before you created him?"
Twilight nodded. "It is strange, but I do as I always do with the strange and unfriendly truths."
Rarity frowned. "You ignore them."
"Ignore what? I already forgot what we were talking about. Oh that's right, who the Tartarus is screwing my kid."
Rarity shrugged. "Green is such a tacky color choice too. Must be some evil pony, probably Queen Chrysalis."
Twilight's eyes widened.
Rarity stammered, "Twilight, I'm joking, surely she wouldn't fall for Spike. Of any pony I'd probably think Carrot Top, I heard she liked the color green once."
Twilight stood up. "That WHORSE!"
"Twilight Sparkle, language!"
Twilight growled. "I'll kill her."
Rarity rolled her eyes. "Oh come now, do you honestly think Spike has only been with two ponies?"
Twilight’s eye twitched. "Excuse you?"
Rarity smirked. "Before I explain further I require something from you. How exactly did you find out my little secret?"
"I've seen the hints for a long time now, but I was ignoring them until Spike told me he was intimate with one of my friends. He didn’t' have to say who."
Rarity laughed. "No, darling not that, I meant how did you find out about Sweetie Belle?"
"Oh easy, I was looking through the birth certificates for some ponies in Canterlot, realized for some reason Sweetie Belle's was there instead of you know, here in Ponyville. Meaning she was born up there, I thought that was weird until I saw who the mo-"
Rarity's horn lit up and shut Twilight's jaw. "One more word and I suspect you'll lose that cute mouth of yours. Trixie might be furious with me if you did."
Twilight's magic swiftly overpowered Rarity's and left a stinging sensation in her horn. "Try that again and I'll have to explain to Sweetie Belle why you were turned into a flesh cube. As well as what a flesh cube even is."
Rarity glared at Twilight. "Fine. I'll explain my piece now, but do not ever dare to mention that secret of mine. If you do our friendship will be over in a heartbeat."
Twilight's ears folded back. "R-really?"
Rarity kept her glare firmly on Twilight. "Oh, Twilight, I think you should know by now that appearance is everything to me. Well maybe not everything, but it carries a great deal of weight with me. So keep your mouth shut on that, and I'll tell you all about Spike's various interests."
Twilight nodded and took a seat at the table again. "Um, Rarity, why do you say that like there's a lot?"
Rarity giggled. "Oh my, Twilight how clueless are you? Spike's had a lot of experience with a lot of mares, I think he's had more temporary lovers than even Fluttershy."
Twilight raised an eye. "So... three?"
Rarity laughed. "Oh my no, Fluttershy is our town bicycle for mares... don't tell her I said that, please."
"Bicycle?"
"The town bicycle, every mare has had a ride."
Twilight lowered her head. "Oh... and Spike has had... more?"
"I'm certain in a few years we'll start to notice more than a few newborn foals have draconic like features. Unfortunately and fortunately for those mares, our laws specifically only target ponies so they can't get in trouble but... they also can't get child support."
Twilight swallowed. "Oh gods, I'm a grandmother?"
"Probably. Just wait, I'm pretty sure Daffodil’s daughter is going to start breathing fire here in a few years."
Twilight buried her head into the table. "Oh, Celestia what has my world come to?"
"Welcome to Ponyvile, sane population: you."
"I thought he was still my baby dragon..."
Rarity rolled her eyes. "Spike's learned a nifty trick to change his size at will. Very entertaining, though even in his small form he's not exactly lacking."
Twilight raised her head. "Speak once more, about sex with Spike and I will cut your tongue out and eat it."
"Oooo, so scary for a mare who couldn't even tell her son was sleeping with half the population of Ponyville and a large number of ponies in Canterlot." Rarity put a hoof to her chin. "Though I must admit I have to speak with him about something involving that. I think I've made up my mind about Applejack and I don't think I can keep him around much longer."
"Oh, that's good to hear, you stop sleeping with my kid so you can sleep with one of my best friends."
Rarity laughed. "Oh, Twilight. I'm pretty sure that sentence applies to about half of us."
Twilight looked up. "I think I am growing to understand a new feeling: hate."
"When you do go to the dark side I will give you cookies. We have them here."
The door opened and Spike walked in. He had a pair of keys in his claws. "Twilight, if you keep locking the doors, the library won't see any patrons. Like seriously, we're running a business here."
Twilight groaned. "Just kill me now."
Rarity looked over at him. "Spikey Wikey, we need to ta-"
Spike interrupted her. "Rarity, we need to talk."
Rarity blinked. "I... we do? What about?"
Spike scratched at the back of his head. "Well... mostly about how I'm breaking up with you."
Rarity fell forward onto the hardwood floor. "W-what?"
Spike looked at her. "You kind of treat me like garbage."
Rarity looked up at him. "SPIKEY WIKEY! I don't treat you like garbage."
Spike gave her a flat look. "I have spent at least fifteen minutes, every day, for the past month cleaning your hooves when you step in mud. You have actually gone out of your way to come here to my house with a single speck of dirt on them to demand I clean them for you."
"I thought you liked that?"
"You also have openly flirted with other men in front of me."
"S-so... you’re pretty open too."
Spike raised an eyebrow. "I do not talk to you about those though. I also don't make out with others in front of you."
Rarity's lower lip quivered. "That only happened once... twice. I'm just too generous okay."
Spike shook his head. "What about forcing me to stay awake all night helping you with your dresses when I'm clearly too tired to stay awake.'
"Um... you... like helping others? Twilight does that to you!"
Spike looked at Twilight. "And she replaced me with an owl so I could get some sleep. I don't see you trying to get help from anyone else."
Rarity laid her head down flatly. "But... but... you can't break up with me, what will you do?"
Spike laughed. "I'll go date somepony else, in fact..." He looked at Twilight. "Hey, Twi, I'm going to be out tonight, might not come home."
He walked over to Twilight and gave her leg a hug. Twilight returned the embrace. "Spike... you’re so much more mature than I thought you were... please don't leave me."
Spike let go. "I won't leave you until you’re ready, Twilight. I promise.”
Twilight smiled. "Thank you... but um... can you... not talk to me about your activities. I don't think I can handle hearing about them."
Spike smiled. "Unlike Rarity here, I have some tact. Love you, see you later. Oh and I made some stew for you and Trixie to eat tonight, it’s in the fridge. Microwave it for three minutes and it should be fine." Spike turned around and walked away leaving the two of them there.
Rarity felt her heart dying inside as she watched the love of her life walk away from her. How could he betray her like that? No, it wasn't betrayal, he was right, Rarity treated him just awful and she deserved this. She looked over at Twilight and realized Twilight was smiling. There was a tear in her eye but she looked happy.
Rarity had to ask, "Why are you happy about this?"
Twilight sniffled. "Because my little man's grown up so much."
Rarity rolled her eyes. "Great, so what now?"
Twilight lowered her head. "I don't know. Who’s going to sing me a lullaby to go night-night now? Well Trixie will, she has such a beautiful singing voice."
Rarity grumbled. "And you thought Spike was the child?"