There wasn’t much I could do for “Pinkie Pride,” but it was an honor to see Weird Al Yankovic in person (or pony in this case). The only thing I could change was convincing Pinkie Pie to give Rainbow Dash a cake instead of a pie, since Dash didn’t care much for pies. Pinkie acknowledged and later gave her a small cheesecake instead. At least I prevented part of the “Secrets and Pies” episode. I also learned that Rainbow Dash turned 25 years old.
The day after RD’s birthday/anniversary of arriving at Ponyville, Pinkie quickly rushed to the library. She was holding a black case.
“Twilight! Twilight! It happened to me!” Pinkie shouted.
“What happened to you?” Twilight asked.
“That colorful thing! That weird feeling! Whatever it’s called!”
“It’s called ‘love’, Pinkie,” I joked. “It can happen to anypony.”
“No, no, no. Not that feeling. Though I did experience it a little. I meant, during the goof-off with Cheese Sandwich, I saw Rainbow being unhappy. Then for a teensy second, a rainbow covered my eyes. I realized then that I wasn’t representing my element: laughter. Then sometime later after I received Boneless, he shined in a rainbow color!” Pinkie opened the black case to reveal the rubber chicken.
Twilight scratched her chin. “First Rarity and her spool of thread, then Rainbow and her pin, and now you and...Boneless. I’m sensing a pattern. You should—”
“Keep it in a super safe spot until you figure out what’s the cause for all this?”
“Uh...yeah.”
“Good idea, Twilight.” Pinkie closed the case. “But where should I put it? I can’t hide it in Sugarcube Corner. The Cake Twins might find it, and they can find pretty much anything. One time, Pumpkin found my super secret hidden cookie stash in my closet, and I kept it super secret for a reason. I don’t know if she’s over her teething phase yet, but if she finds Boneless, she might chew him up like a diamond dog eating bones.”
“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, Pinkie. You could leave it here with us if—”
“Wait! I know a perfect spot!” Pinkie shoved the case right in her mane. “There. The twins know better than to go in my mane, so Boneless will be safe and sound in there.”
Twilight and I stared at her blankly.
“I’m not gonna question it,” Twilight said.
“Me neither,” I added.
One day, I was staring out the bedroom window of the Golden Oaks Library. The only thing on my mind was my potential journey.
I need to find the right time to visit Starlight’s village. If I arrive too early, I won’t see them. If I arrive too late, I would have to go back home and witness the entire time travel shenanigans all over again. There’s also visiting other cities. Griffonstone seems like a high priority, but what other cities could I visit? Maybe I could chat with Smolder and Garble in the Dragon Lands. The only problem is when I should…
“Spike? Where are you?” Twilight’s voice called out.
“I’m up here, Twilight!” I replied.
I heard hoofbeats coming up the stairs and approaching me.
“Is everything alright, Spike?” Twilight asked. “You’ve been staring out the window a lot these days.”
“Well, I was just thinking,” I replied. “That trip Fluttershy and I took to see the Breezies got me thinking...what more could I find out there? What places could I see?” I took a deep breath. “Twilight...I...I want to go on a journey.”
“Well, if I can find enough time in our schedule, we could—”
“By myself.”
“What?!” Twilight stepped back. “Why? I can go with you, Spike. Just tell—”
“No, Twilight. I want to do this by myself. I want to explore. See what Equestria has to offer. I need to do this alone. Without any of you girls stalking me.”
“But Equestria is a big place. It could...”
“...be dangerous? Twilight, I’m a dragon. I can breathe fire, and I have thick scales. Sure my stature leaves something to be desired, but that never stopped me before. Heck, I traveled to the Dragon Lands without your assistance, and I even made two new friends there.”
Twilight sighed. “Do you even know when you’ll leave for this journey? Or even how long you’ll be gone?”
I shook my head. “I had thoughts about leaving sometime after the Equestria Games, but that’s unconfirmed. I don’t know about the length either. Maybe it’ll be a week. Maybe it’ll be a few days. Maybe it’ll be half a month. Who knows?”
That’s when we heard a loud knock on the door. Twilight hurried to answer it.
“Rarity, hello,” greeted Twilight.
“Good day to you, Twilight,” replied Rarity. “Is Spikey-Wikey around? I require his assistance at the moment.”
I got down and went to the front door. “You need me, Rarity?”
“Yes, of course. Come with me to the boutique if you please.”
I followed Rarity to the Carousel Boutique. Once we got in, Rarity directed me to a table covered in a giant piece of cloth. She then removed the cloth to reveal a small-scale version of Ponyville.
“What is this? A town for Breezies?” I asked.
“It’s a diorama of Ponyville, darling,” Rarity replied. “I use this for designing decorations for the town during festivals. And with the arrival of the decision of who should plan the upcoming Ponyville Days festival, I already made some plans ahead of time.”
“Ah, like a model version. I get it. But you seem rather confident that you will win.”
“I can’t be too prepared. If, perchance, somepony else wins the title pony of ceremonies, I can always suggest some of my ideas to them.”
“So what would you like for me to do?”
“Just a couple of things, if you don’t mind.”
As I helped out Rarity with her supplies, designs, and ideas, I remembered that the events of “Simple Ways” were right around the corner. In the show, Rarity falls in love with Trenderhoof, who in turn falls in love with Applejack. The episode was pretty much one of those anime love triangle cliches. Eventually, Rarity and Applejack end up switching personalities before realizing that it’s better to be themselves than to change drastically in order to get somepony to like them. Honestly, I was up in the air about what I should change. I could lie to Trenderhoof about Applejack being taken, or explain to Rarity that Trenderhoof is only interested in Applejack because she’s his idea of what an earth pony is supposedly like.
“Wait a minute,” I said. “The Ponyville Days festival? Twilight and I didn’t see that event last year.”
Rarity sighed. “It was cancelled because the pony who was assigned that time got the dates mixed up. It affected some other ceremonies as well.”
A few days later, the girls and I headed to the center of town to see who would be picked to host this year’s Ponyville Days festival. The area around the town hall was already packed.
“Wow! I can't believe how many ponies showed up!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
“I can! I mean, finding out who the Ponyville Days pony of ceremonies is is a pretty big deal!” Pinkie said with excitement.
Twilight noticed Granny Smith sitting with two other judges. “I didn't know Granny Smith was on the selection committee.”
“Of course she is,” said Applejack. “Ponyville Days celebrates the founding of Ponyville, and she was right there.”
“I’d be surprised if she wasn’t on the selection committee,” I said.
Pinkie rapidly said, “I'm glad the committee didn't automatically pick me so everypony gets a chance to see how great being me actually is! Even though the festival's basically a party and the pony of ceremonies gets to organize the whole thing! So it'd totally make sense if they did pick me.”
We all shushed her.
Just like in the show, the mayor announced who was going to play this year’s festival. Predictably, at least from my point of view, it was Rarity. Everypony cheered.
“Congratulations, Rarity!” Twilight said with joy. “Do you know what you're gonna do?”
“Oh, I might have a few ideas,” replied Rarity.
Knowing her, ‘a few’ might be an understatement.
“Come meet us tomorrow morning, girls,” said Rarity. “And we’ll share these ideas with you.”
“We?” Twilight asked.
“I can be an assistant to other ponies, too, you know,” I said.
Rarity and I returned to the boutique to finish up her ideas and practice for the showcase. During our work, I heard the sound of a photograph smacking onto the floor.
“Oh, dear, not again.” Rarity disappeared behind some curtains. “I really should consider finding better tape.”
I had a feeling what Rarity was doing, so I peeked through the curtains to confirm my suspicions. And sure enough, a shrine stood centered in the curtained room with pictures of Trenderhoof and other items related to him cluttered on the table and back wall. Rarity was trying to put one of the pictures back on the wall with an old piece of tape.
“What’s all this?” I asked.
Rarity quickly turned around, nearly dropping the photo she was trying to fix. “Spike! Uh...I was just…” She cleared her throat. “Oh, alright, darling, I’ll admit it. I’ve taken a liking to Trenderhoof, one of the most handsome travel writers ever! He’s been making trends even before they were even trends! Best of all, he’s gonna come to visit Ponyville for the festival! Isn’t that glamorous?!”
“I’ve heard of Trenderhoof before,” I said as I scratched my chin. “I think he was one of the reasons Las Pegasus became popular.”
“And how.” Rarity rubbed her hoof on the picture of Trenderhoof’s face like he was there in the flesh. “I can finally get to meet him: my only true love.”
“I thought Blueblood used to be your only true love.”
“Oh, well, that was before you told me he was rather...uptight. This is much different.”
I rolled my eyes and picked up one of the laminated newspaper articles. It talked about how Trenderhoof gave a review on some of the restaurants in Canterlot and how they gained popularity despite him not being a food critic. I’ve noticed Pony Joe’s donut shop was one of the restaurants.
Amazing. I didn’t think Trenderhoof liked donuts. Then again, who doesn’t like donuts?
“You know, it would make sense for Trenderhoof to come to Ponyville,” I said. “Rumor has it he has a thing for earth ponies.”
“I beg your pardon?” Rarity widened her eyes.
“I don’t mean like he prefers earth ponies over unicorns or pegasi! I meant he likes the general aspects of earth ponies, such as their past tradition, agriculture, or events. Since Ponyville was founded by earth ponies, I bet he would love to learn more about them.”
“I did not know he had desires like that.”
“Heh, I guess the Apple family better watch out. If the rumors are true, then he’s going to be all over them, asking questions like a reporter meeting Princess Celestia.” That’s when something flashed across my mind. “Wait...did you plan all of this?”
“What?”
“You knew Trenderhoof was visiting Ponyville for the festival, and by sheer coincidence, you were voted to be hosting this year. Not only that, you already had some ideas before the judges even decided. I’m starting to believe that you rigged something.”
“Luck prefers those who prepare themselves, Spikey-Wikey. True, I knew Trenderhoof was coming to Ponyville, but I did not know I would be chosen to host the festival. Plus, Applejack mentioned how talented I am when it comes to decorations, so it would make sense that she would try to put in a good word to Granny Smith. With Trenderhoof coming and the possibility of me being the pony of ceremonies, I did not want to take chances, darling.”
I wanted to press further, but I figured I didn’t have room to talk. After all, I’ve been preparing for future events ever since I was put into Spike’s body.
After all our preparation, I stayed the night at Rarity’s. I slept on one of her fainting couches, which felt rather soft and comfortable.
The next morning, the girls arrived at the boutique. Rarity and I were behind the stage curtains, making final preparations for our outfits. I just wore a blazer and necktie, while Rarity’s dress was covered in gems. Rarity peeked from the curtains.
“Looks like the girls are here,” she said as she handed me some flashcards. “Time to begin.”
I nodded as I walked out to the runway. Just like in the show, I presented the girls with Rarity’s ideas. They included a cider tasting, a gala, and a fashion show. Basically, Rarity wanted to turn Ponyville into a miniature Canterlot for the festival.
Rarity stepped out to reveal her dress. “And the theme is…‘Small Town Chic’!”
The girls were thrilled to hear that. They even offered to help her with some of the decorations and events. Rarity sighed in relief and told the girls that with their help, she would focus on her more important goal: impressing Trenderhoof.
“Uh, who's Trenderhoof?” Applejack asked.
Someone who’s going to be attracted to you, soon.
Rarity went on about how amazing Trenderhoof was, and how he was going to arrive in Ponyville soon. Twilight teased Rarity about having a crush, and Rarity explained it was more than just a crush. I was a bit worried about how she’s going to react to Trenderhoof falling for Applejack.
I waited with Twilight and Rarity at the train station. Trenderhoof was supposed to be coming today, and the only pony nervous about it was Rarity herself.
“Thank you ever so much for joining me, you two,” said Rarity. “I don't think I could have met Trenderhoof on my own.”
“It's no problem, but you shouldn't be nervous about meeting him,” Twilight replied.
Aside from the fact he’s your long term crush and that his visit here might make or break the outcome of the Ponyville Days festival.
The train approached the station. As the passengers exited the car, Rarity searched around panically for Trenderhoof.
“Rarity, you have to get a hold of yourself,” said Twilight. “I mean, you haven’t even met him yet.”’
Within seconds, Trenderhoof stepped out of the train. I swore I saw hearts in Rarity’s pupils when she saw him. Rarity quickly ducked under Twilight’s tail like a shy foal at a magic kindergarten orientation.
“It’s him!” Rarity squeaked.
“Well, go up and talk to him,” Twilight said.
Rarity replied with unintelligible high-pitched whimpers that could rival her little sister’s.
“Oh, I’ll do it,” I said as I approached Trenderhoof. “Hello, there. You must be Mr. Trenderhoof. I am pleased to meet you. Welcome to Ponyville.”
“A dragon?” Trenderhoof removed his glasses and polished them with a handkerchief. “Are you with the pony of ceremonies?”
“I am, but she’s...”
“I’m right here!” Rarity galloped towards Trenderhoof and cleared her throat. “Apologizes. Hello, Mr. Trenderhoof. I am Rarity, and I have been chosen as the pony of ceremonies for the Ponyville Days festival.” She then giggled nervously.
“Please, call me 'Trend',” said Trenderhoof.
Rarity quickly fainted.
“Heh, trust me. She’s not normally like this,” I said sheepishly.
“You go on and see if everything’s in order,” Twilight whispered to me.
I nodded and ran out of the train station.
I also need to figure out how to change this episode. Maybe I could try to fake a relationship with Applejack? No, that won’t work. I don’t want Fluttershy to get the wrong idea, and I have no idea what Trenderhoof’s views on interspecies relationships are. I can’t get Fluttershy and Applejack to fake a relationship either. Applejack is a terrible liar, the two would feel awkward, and I can’t just tell them that I know Trenderhoof has a crush on Applejack. I had to think of something.
I went around making sure everything was in place for the festival. Once I finished that, I hurried to Sweet Apple Acres. I made it just in time to see Trenderhoof and Rarity entering the fields.
“And finally, Sweet Apple Acres,” Rarity announced. “Ponyville's core, so to speak, where our quaint little hamlet began.”
Just like in the show, Trenderhoof was really interested in the farm. While Rarity was planning on making the barn into an inn, she was interested in Trenderhoof’s idea of leaving the farm the way it was.
I noticed Applejack bucking some trees nearby. She was all filthy and sweaty from all the work she had been doing. Sadly, all the dirt could not repeal Trenderhoof, as he instantly became infatuated with the orange earth pony. Rarity, downtrodden by this, galloped away. I wanted to hurry up and comfort her, but that’s when I had an idea. I hid behind one of the trees and watched Trenderhoof’s interaction with Applejack.
Trenderhoof approached Applejack and cleared his throat. “Hello there, miss. And what is your name?”
“Uh...Applejack?” Applejack wiped the sweat off her forehead.
“‘Applejack.’ What a lovely name. My name’s Trenderhoof. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Well, likewise, but I ain’t got time to stay and chat. I need to get all these apples bucked before the festival. Speakin’ of which, wasn’t Rarity supposed to be with ya?”
“Yeah, of course. She's right over there.” Trenderhoof pointed behind his shoulders without looking back.
“Mr. Trenderhoof, yer not pointin’ at anypony.”
“Huh?” Trenderhoof turned around. “I guess she must have left.”
“Given how she’s the pony of ceremonies this year, she probably has a lotta work on her hooves. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a lotta work to do, too.” Applejack picked up one of the baskets and headed back to the barn.
It was then I appeared from behind the trees.
“Excuse me, Mr. Trend,” I said. “I was in the area, and I couldn’t help but notice you developed a little crush on Applejack.”
“‘Crush’ doesn't even begin to describe it,” said Trenderhoof.
Deja vu.
“What is it that you like so much about her?” I asked. “I never thought Applejack to be the stallion magnet.”
“She’s the very splitting image of earth pony culture,” Trend replied. “Her rustic looks, her farming career, she’s got it all!”
“Have a thing for earth ponies, huh?”
He nodded with a hum. As Trenderhoof trotted to the barn, I went to go comfort Rarity.
I hurried to the Carousel Boutique. Once I went inside, it didn’t take me long to see a puddle coming from behind the curtains. I walked to Rarity’s kitchen to grab a tub of vanilla-and-cinnamon swirl ice cream, a giant spoon, and a box of tissues. I returned to see Rarity crying in front of her shrine.
“Hey, Rarity,” I said. “I saw what happened at the farm. I’m so sorry. Here, I brought ice cream and tissues for you.”
Rarity blew her nose with one of the tissues and wiped some of the black-colored tears from her eyes with another.
“I can’t believe he would brush me off like that!” Rarity wailed. “I've had a crush on him ever since the beginning of time, and it's not fair!”
Rarity grabbed the tub, flipped off the lid, and shoved the spoon deep into the ice cream.
“I knew he had a thing for earth ponies and their culture,” I said, “but I never thought he’d have a crush on one. Especially if that pony is Applejack.”
“What could Applejack possibly have that I don't?!”
The lack of a horn, an orange coat, apples for a cutie mark, a lean yet muscular physique...
“You know what? I think I have an idea.” I pushed the tissue box over to Rarity. “Go on and let it all out. I’m going to find somepony who might help you.”
I knew who that pony was. I ran across town to find that pony. Thankfully, I found her and Trenderhoof near Sugarcube Corner.
“That's my thing,” said Trend. “I take the mundane, the simple, the unappreciated, and I make it relatable.”
“Well, I hope you can relate to Ponyville,” said Applejack. I could tell she wasn’t interested in chatting with Trenderhoof.
“Me too. But enough about me. I wanna know about you! What do apples mean to Applejack?”
Before Applejack could open her mouth, I called out her name.
“Applejack! I need you!” I hurried up to her. “It’s an emergency!”
“What’s the problem?” Applejack asked.
“No time to explain!” I pushed Applejack to the Carousel Boutique. “Rarity needs you...alone!” I glared at Trenderhoof who was starting to follow us.
Once we got to the door, Applejack grabbed me.
“Stop it, Spike! What is the meanin’ of all this?!” Applejack barked. “What’s happenin’ with Rarity?”
I sighed. “She’s having a meltdown after she saw Trenderhoof falling for you.”
“Is that it? But there’s nothing goin’ on between me and Mr. Trenderhoof. All he’s been doing is talkin’ about his travels and how he suddenly likes apples.”
“You’ll have to explain that to Rarity.”
Applejack and I went inside the boutique. Rarity was still at her Trenderhoof shrine, consuming ice cream that almost matched her coat.
The farm pony sighed and tapped Rarity on the shoulder. “Hey, Rares. Spike told me ya need somepony to talk to.”
Rarity sniffed and weeped, “Don’t call me that! You’re nothing but a heart stealer, stealing other ponies' hearts and leaving their lovers in sorrow!”
“You’ve got the wrong idea, sugarcube. I never wanted or needed to woo Trenderhoof in the first place.”
“Don’t lie to me! You grabbed his attention the moment you saw him!”
“Rarity, you’re forgettin’ I ain’t one to lie.” Applejack took off her hat. “I’m tellin’ ya from the bottom of my heart that I am not interested in Trenderhoof whatsoever. I don’t know why he’s attached to me like a skunk to a striped cat. I was just doin’ my business until he showed up. That’s all.”
Something about that analogy seems familiar…and to be truthfully honest, it does work for this particular scenario.
Rarity’s crying eased up a bit. Applejack pushed the tissue box closer to her.
“Look, I’m sorry for attractin’ Trenderhoof by mistake,” said Applejack as she watched Rarity pick up another tissue. “I ain’t the kind of pony who steals other ponies crushes, especially since I know how much ya like Trenderhoof.”
After Rarity controlled her breathing and wiped off the last of her running mascara, she asked, “What did Trenderhoof tell you? Did he at least mention me?”
Applejack sighed. “I hate to be a wet blanket when yer already soaked, but Trend isn’t what you’d consider a humble pony. All he ever talked about was himself and his travels like a broken record player. He even mentioned how he loved apples since the beginning of time, but I don’t need a lie detector to doubt it.”
Are we talking about Trend or Blueblood here?
“Applejack has a point,” I said. “He can also be insensitive at times, at least to earth ponies.”
“I wish he could see that,” said Applejack, “and how I’m not interested in him.”
“Did you not tell him?” Rarity asked with a raised brow.
“I’d thought he’d get the hint by now.”
“Well, you might have to speak to him explicitly,” I said. “Use the direct approach. Whether or not he gets upset is up to him.”
“Alright. I’ll do just that,” Applejack confidently said as she put her hat back on.
After attaching the baskets on her back, Applejack went outside to see Trenderhoof, who just happened to be leaning against a nearby tree.
I see he ignored my “don’t follow us” command.
“Oh, hey, Applejack,” Trenderhoof greeted. “What a coincidence to see you here.”
I wouldn’t call it a coincidence.
“Listen Trenderhoof,” Applejack said firmly. “I know yer a nice stallion and all, but I ain’t interested in you. I’m aware of yer crush on me, but the feeling ain’t mutual. I’m not lookin’ for a relationship or a story about somepony’s journey at the moment. So for the time bein’, leave me be and let me work.”
Trend put his hooves up. “Woah, hey, take it easy. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought I could show my appreciation.”
“Hate to break it to you, but your showing of appreciation kinda made the pony of ceremonies downhearted,” I said.
“Oh, I’m so sorry for that. That was my fault entirely. I never intended to upset her either. Is...she around?”
“She’s still in the boutique, but I’d recommend knocking first.”
Trend did just that. Two taps later, I saw Rarity peeking through the curtains. After a few minutes of barely audible shuffling, she said, “Come in.”
Once Trend entered the boutique, Applejack gave a relieved sigh.
“Thank you kindly for helping me, Spike,” she said as she walked away. “It’s nice to finally do some work without some rando tryin’ to flirt with me.”
“Don’t mention it,” I said whilst following her. “When I saw what was going on at the farm, I wanted to make sure everything was cleared up. The pony of ceremonies can’t host if she’s crying her eyes out, and a farm pony can’t work if she’s being shadowed by some trendsetter.”
“Heh. That’s true.”
A couple of days later, the Ponyville Days festival was underway. Despite a few unrelated problems, everything went off without a hitch. Twilight and I were currently at the cider-tasting event. I was wearing my suit and tie from last year’s gala, and Twilight sported her old coronation outfit. It was the only dress that could fit with her wings.
“I’ll need to ask Rarity for a new dress after this festival,” said Twilight. “So I heard about some love triangle that went on between Rarity, Trenderhoof, and Applejack a few days ago. What was that all about?”
“Well, Applejack caught Trenderhoof’s attention when he first saw her,” I said. “That made Rarity miserable, but I was able to cheer her up and help Applejack turn down Trenderhoof.”
“Oh, I see. Did he take the rejection well?”
“Surprisingly, yes. He may have been egotistical, but he understands when somepony’s not interested in him.”
“Well that’s good to hear.”
Overall, I felt almost neutral about changing this episode. Part of me felt like it was unnecessary, while the other part was glad Rarity didn’t pretend to be like Applejack and vice versa. At least the two mares still got to resolve their differences.
“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight shouted. “We already have some glasses available. Use them instead.”
Rainbow held up a mug the size of her head. “What? Nopony said I couldn’t bring my own cup!”