Derpy walked along the path she had for the last 400 years. Walk two blocks past Sugar Cube Corner, a right at the Ponyville Library and a mile past that to the Ponyville Post Office #4.
"Hey Derpy!" Pinkie Pie yelled from the kitchen window of Sugar Cube Corner. She tossed a bag of muffins out the window and Derpy happily caught them. That was one of the two things that she never lied about....her love for the muffin.
"Thanks Pinkie!" That was number two....she never lied about her voice. The same deeper tone than most mares that she had since she was just a filly. She thought it was weird, but every pony seemed to love it.
God, how long do I have to keep up this blonde act. Derpy may have seemed alright on the outside, but inside she was fighting back her urge to drag some pony into the shadows of an ally and ripping their throat out. Such is the drama of hiding your inner demons....literally.
"Derpy! Rainbow Dash needs your help over at town hall! You go there today and be back here tomorrow!" The post master yelled as she walked into the building.
"Ok!" She dashed out the door towards town hall. Rainbow Dash, remind me to thank your flank for getting me out of work today. She ran all the way there and, just to keep up her guise, slammed right into Rainbow Dash sending her flying into the wall.
"WAAAA!!!!!" Rainbow cried as she smashed throw the wall of town hall. "What the fuck was that!" She poked her head out through the wall. "Oh, it's just you Derpy."
"Yep!" Derpy called out as she flew up and grabbed a cloud that was hovering a few feet away from the building.
"Ugh, just stay up there Derpy and...I don't know...jump on the cloud or something." She said as she started to hang up a banner across town hall's entrance. It was the day that Applejack was going off to compete in a rodeo of some kind, Derpy didn't know nor did she give a fuck.
"Ok, Rainbow Dash!" She started to jump on the cloud, sending a few bolts of lightning flying off in a few different directions. One went flying off at Rainbow Dash just as she was starting to finish nailing the banner to the building.
She barely dodged the bolt as it shot out at her. "Now, careful Derpy! Don't want to do anymore damage than you've already done." Rainbow Dash pointed at the roof of town hall, which was on the verge of collapsing in on it's self. Derpy took this as a challenge to test the limits of her indifference.
She continued to bounce on her cloud. "I just don't know what went wrong!" She bounced a couple more times before getting shocked by the lightning that had built up in the cloud. This time she wasn't acting as she tried to keep her balance on the cloud with a singed look to her.
"Yeah, it's a mystery." She said as she pushed the last nail in. Oh, Rainbow, your just making this way to easy for me!
"Nice work, Rainbow Dash!" She said as she floated backwards towards one of the support pillars and barely bumped it with her flank. But thanks to her strength, it was easily knocked off of it's supports. She tried to keep herself from laughing as she watched Rainbow Dash fly down and try to catch it before it crashed down to the....too late
CRASH!!!!! Derpy floated down to the large hole in the ground where the pillar (and Rainbow) crashed through. Once again. To. Easy
"You ok, Rainbow Dash. Anything I can do to help!?"