Nighttime in Canterlot is anything but dark.
From the enchanted lamp posts that dot the cobblestone streets, to the starry sky above that stretches out over the horizon; the darkness has no hold over Equestria’s central capital. Even the odd pocket of shadows stands little chance in the face of all this illumination, for if given enough time the light of a passing unicorn’s horn will surely banish it either intentionally or by accident. It's for this reason that thick, light-blocking curtains are all the rage up here in the mountains.
Yet, despite the overabundance of brightness, most Canterlotians would rather retire to their beds early instead of interacting with the night.
Most... but not all.
Ponies of the older generations tend to be the ones with the early bedtime; the nobles, the purebloods, the lawmakers. They’re the ones who frequently call it quits as soon as the sun sets, while it's the complete opposite with the younger crowd. This demographic tends to stay up noticeably later, to the point wherein recent years Canterlot has begun to develop a bit of a night scene. Loud music, raves, an assortment of clubs; you name it, Canterlot has it...
… But I wouldn’t know anything about that.
I’m simultaneously too young and too old for such things.
There is, however, one thing I can enjoy about Canterlot’s nightlife, regardless of my age; it tends to leave public places, like the park, completely vacant. Normally it’s full of nobility and other snooty types, but at night it practically becomes a ghost town. No ponies, no sightseers, no guards, no eavesdroppers, and, most importantly, no princes.
With no one around to give me a hard time for simply being here, and with Canterlot Castle far in the rearview mirror, Canterlot Park has become the bastion of peace and tranquility that I so desperately need. It’s here where I’m at last allowed to sort my thoughts out.
My dark, and nebulous, thoughts...
…
… Understatement of the century incoming in three, two-
Today sucked.
There. I said it.
Today, flipping, sucked.
Everything that happened since I stepped off the train has only managed to annoy me, shock me, or increase my anxiety tenfold. Running into Madame Red again, discovering how Discord’s magic broke loose, fighting Solaris…
… losing to Solaris…
…
… The Poisoned Barb sits wide open beside me on the empty park bench.
‘Dear Diary, Today I danced with the sun,’ are the only words I’ve managed to write so far. The rest of the entry isn’t coming to me, despite already having a clear outline in mind.
I know what I want to write, and I know what I have to write, but my claw refuses to budge. I just can’t bring myself to put the thoughts to paper...
… I’m not sure I know what said thoughts even look like anymore. So much happened… Too much happened… and yet, at the same time, not much happened at all!
I wasn’t accused of doing something to Artemis:
That’s a win.
Princy’s secret journey is still under wraps:
That’s another win.
I protected Red Gala from the repercussions of assaulting royalty:
That’s the third win.
Discord’s pieces are being picked up and disposed of as we speak:
That’s win number four.
Stardust Glimmer will be interrogated:
Win number five.
I’m going to be kept in the loop on future shenanigans:
Win six...
… And Dusk will remain none the wiser… Lucky win number seven… Win, win, win, win, win, win… win. Everything’s coming up Barbara…
...
… Except… it’s not.
Today I unquestionably lost.
“A form I’m familiar with,” I repeat Solaris’ final riddle, praying that it doesn't mean what I think it means. “Bipedal… darkened skin… c-curly hai-”
Sniff
Unable to hold it in any longer, my stress shifts from a solid to a liquid.
“D-damn it,” I choke back a sob, as I try in vain to keep it together. “Damn it... damn it… Grrrrr…
"... Damn it!”
With this cry of anguish, the dam breaks wide open.
"That, damn, horse!" I shout, I scream. "That damn, damn, horse!"
This is the truth I can’t look away from:
Prince Solaris just described my original body.
“A nostalgic affair?!” I bark mocking, allowing the rage to flow. “Nostalgic?!”
The alicorn’s parting words hint at a future, one foreseen with his Seer powers, where a Shard of Discord inexplicably turns me back into a human...
… The addition of the word nostalgic, however, implies something more sinister; something I’ve long suspected, but was always too afraid to confirm.
The Prince knows exactly what I am, and what I've been going through.
He knew all along.
…
… Fzzzzz
“If he knew the truth this whole time,” I start to growl, releasing the hot embers that had formed in my throat. “then why, why why why, didn’t he say anything?!
“Why keep me guessing?!
“Why keep me in the dark?!
“Why?!
“Why?!?!
“Why do I have to suffer like this you god, damn,”
Hate-laced flames leave me as I turn my head skywards, and below a mighty cry of
“Hoooooorrrrrssseee!!!”
Emerald light blankets Canterlot Park, slaying its shadows, as well as the night's chill...
…
…
… Cough cough… Sniff... Sigh…
Just as quickly as it had appeared, my pillar of dragonfire vanishes back into the ether. My fury dissipates as well, as melancholy retakes its rightful place.
“... Why didn’t he say anything?” I weep in the resulting calm. “W-why does he have to string me along like this?
“Why does he have to hurt me?
“Why do I have to grieve alone…?
“... I don’t want to be alone…”
…
…
“Caw!”
“... Huh?” my head jerks upwards, towards the distant sound. “I… i-is somepony there?”
“Caw! Caw!”
“...”
Jumping off the park bench, I scan my stinging eyes out over my surroundings.
Thought I was by myself out here, but it sounds like I’m not...
… That sorta sounded like a bird, now that I stop to listen. An owl, maybe? I don’t think those are native to Canterlot though… Doesn’t sound like an owl either… Maybe it’s not a bird at all?
If not that, then what thou-
Glomp~
… Ah.
It would appear that bird was, indeed, the word.
Phoenix, to be precise.
“Mice mo mee mou moo, muddy,” came my muffled response from behind Ignatius’ impromptu face hug.
Using my claws, I gently remove Solaris’ prized pet from myself and try again.
“Nice to see you too, buddy.”
“Caw!” was the avian’s simple reply. His crimson feathers are glowing faintly in the darkness of the night, allowing me to see his happy beaked smile in all its splendor. “Caw caw!”
“What are you doing this far away from the castle?” I can’t help but ask him.
“Caw!”
“... You saw my pyrotechnics from your cage, and decided to say hello?”
“Caw!”
“Huh,” I note, as Ignatius begins to lovingly nuzzle the side of my cheek. “Heh, well what do you know; a temper tantrum actually paid off for once.”
“Caw?”
“Yeah I missed you too, little guy,” I snicker at the bird’s questioning tone. “Ponyville is severely lacking in friendly avian companions, let me tell ya.”
“Caw!”
“Hmm,” I nod in agreement.
With phoenix now perched carefully upon an outstretched arm, I make our way back to the park bench and return to sitting.
Things turned pleasant quiet after that, as the two of us didn’t feel the need to say much of anything. Simply relaxing and watching the stars; reminds me of the rare nights I shared with Dusk back when we used to live in this awful city.
That feels so long ago now… Like another lifetime…
...
… Another… lifetime...
…
… Solaris' word’s about Ignatius, the ones from well over a month ago, suddenly replay in my head:
“To this day I still don’t know which ponies and creatures he prefers to show his true self to,” the Prince confides in me after a time, though I remember him having told me this years ago as well. “I’ve yet to find a single thing that connects ponies and creatures like you to the likes of Starswirl and the others who accomplished such a feat.”
…
...
“... Hey… Ignatius?”
At the calling of his name, the crimson phoenix turns his head quickly in my direction. “Caw?”
Pausing, I take a moment to gather my thoughts.
“You… know what I am, don’t you?”
“Caw!” is Ignatius’ casual reply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
… Heh.
I think that’s the closest I’m ever going to get to confirming my ‘phoenixes recognize reincarnated people’ theory, folks.
Ignatius has long been a friendly companion of mine ever since I was small… er… well smaller. Unlike most others, I didn’t need to prove myself to him when our paths first crossed. Usually he likes to play pranks, and make ponies work for his affection, but the moment he laid eyes on me he was smitten; like he recognized one of his kin.
Birds of a feather flock together, as they say.
“How did you figure it out?” I attempt to cross-examine the avian.
“Caw!”
“Ah. I see.”
“...”
“...”
“... Caw!”
“... I have no idea what you’re saying,” I sigh, though I find myself still smiling all the same. “At least you’re willing to share what you know, unlike your lousy owner.”
“Caw?”
“No offense, but Prince Solaris is a big, fat, jerk,” I confide in the bird, feeling it safe to do so. “He knows so much, probably everything, but he never shows me much more than a smidgen of the big picture! Why does he do that?”
“Caw…”
My body sinks further into the bench, as my despair reaches critical levels.
“He leaves me to figure things out on my own,” I try to sort out my feelings. “And gives me moments of triumph… only to pull the rug out from under me at the very last second… W-why can’t he be straightforward?”
“... Caw…”
“... What does he even want from me in the first place…?”
“...”
“...”
“... Caw!”
“Hehe… Thanks, Iggy,” I scratch Ignatius’ chin, much to his enjoyment. “You’re a good listener.”
“Caw!”
“Wish I could take you to Ponyville with me,” I lament for that which cannot be. “I bet Sweepy Belle and Scooter would think you're just the coolest, but you’re too pretty for such a dangerous place.”
“Caw,” Iggy caws boastfully, clearly enjoying the flattery.
“... You should probably stay with your owner though,” my ears wilt slightly, as I came to realize something else. “He may a monster, but he's a monster who's going to need you by his side once he realizes that his brother has…”
“Caw?” the phoenix tilts his head slightly, unsure as to what I’m trying to say.
“... Heh… Spoilers,” I wink playfully, offering nothing more.
It might be my imagination, but I think Iggy just pouted.
This only made me giggle louder.
“Oh you silly bird,” I resume scratching the underside of his neck. “You better fly on home before it gets any darker.”
“Caw?”
“Nah, I’m not heading back to the castle,” I put words in his beak, feeling the need to explain myself. “I’m supposed to be meeting somepony here soon.”
“Caw?”
“Yeah, we figured this was as good a spot as any.”
“Caw?”
“It just worked better with her schedule,” I shrug. “Also gave me plenty of alone time to… process my encounter with Solaris.”
“Caw?”
“... Can you do me a favor and poop in that big red beard of his the next chance you get?”
“Caw!”
“Knew I could count on ya!”
With one final nuzzle on the cheek, I bid farewell to my little friend as he stretches his wings outwards and soars off into the night sky. His tiny form glows brightly in the darkness before eventually vanishing far into the distance…
...
… Well… that was a nice distraction.
Now back to our regularly scheduled mopping...
…
...
… Actually… Nah… I think I’m too tired to even care anymore.
So Solaris knows things that I don’t... Is that really any different from how these talks of ours usually end? He also already knows a good chunk of my secrets… Again I ask, what’s so shocking here?
I have to accept that, no matter how well I prepare myself for our meetings, I’m always going to be one step behind the big guy. He’s got thousands of years of experience on my pitiful decades; the fact that I sorta stood toe to toe with him at all should be commendable…
… Still though… it sucks.
It sucks that all my victories ended up getting stolen.
It sucks that all my progress didn’t amount to much either.
My ‘wins’ were hoofed to me, and it feels like my losses were scripted; the meeting ended exactly how Solaris wanted it to, I’m certain of it. Even me managing to keep my knowledge about Artemis to myself... that was probably preordained as well… The Prince even hurt me this time; a fact I'm not sure how to process. My arm isn't numb anymore, thank goodness, but now I know that he has a real-life lie detector on standby!
When next we meet, I might have no choice but to introduce myself as Barbara D. Burns...
...
… Did I manage to accomplish anything on my own today? Anything at all? Or was I just a pawn from beginning to end…?
…
…
...
… Clipclopclipclop
The sound of horseshoes trotting over gravel fills the air.
It seems my ride has finally arrived.
Clipclopclipclop
Clipclopclipclop
Clipclopcli-
The noise ceases a little ways behind my park bench.
I make no effort to turn towards it.
“...”
“...”
“... Permission to come aboard, ma’am?”
“... Heh… At ease, soldier,” I snark right back to the hidden mare. Packing up The Poisoned Barb, and scootching over to the side, I grant my guest ample space to join me on the bench. “Permission granted.”
Gleaming Shield happily obliges.
“How’s my favorite dragoness doing these days?” is the first thing the unicorn asks me as she settles herself in. With a flare of magic, she takes off her saddlebags and sets them off to the side, where they make a distinct clank sound against the ground. Must be filled with her armor; that would explain her rather relaxed appearance. "Love the tail-bow, by the way. It looks super cute on you."
"Thanks," I passively bat my tail. “And... Eh, as good as I can be, I guess” I answer her question somewhat dodgily.
I don't want to burden her with today’s… ugliness.
“Uh oh~” the white mare cheekily knocks the doom and gloom right out of me. “I recognize that look! That’s the ‘Solaris just played me like a fiddle, and now I’m questioning my entire life,’ look."
“I-I don’t have a look like that,” I argue before turning away, too embarrassed to admit how right she is. “I’m just… frustrated with him, that’s all.”
“A feeling I'm all too familiar with, Barb.” the captain of the royal guard speaks her mind freely, surprising me greatly. “A week doesn’t go by for me without at least one argument with the big guy.”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah,” Gleam quickly bobs her head. “In fact, I just had an intense discussion with him the other day about the importance of tightening security around the castle while certain… er… toxic material is being disposed of.”
“Toxic material?” I blink, not fully understanding what she’s referring to… But after a moment the answer became clear. “You mean the Shards of Discord?”
My gal pal cringes.
“So the Prince told you about that, huh?” she groans, looking visibly uncomfortable by the topic.
“Yes, but only after I pressured him on it,” I attempt to explain what happened. “It’s kinda hard to keep things under wraps when you’ve got a rhino guarding your front gates, and a toddler keeping your schedule.”
“... Ah… Yeah, that’ll do,” Gleaming sighs tiredly. “I guess Twinkle Scout’s and Crow’s transformations are pretty difficult to cover up, huh… Funny how you bumped into the two that got changed the most though. All the other ones were pretty minor in comparison.”
“Guess I’m just 'lucky',” I spit crossly to myself.
“Guess so,” the unicorn shrugs back, the distaste in my tone thankfully not coming across for her. “Wish I had a bit of that luck myself, honestly. Maybe I wouldn’t have stepped on a shard if I did.”
My head violently whips up to Gleam’s thanks to this.
“You stepped on a shard?!” I gasp, as the guilty pit in my stomach grows larger. “Oh no oh no oh no! W-what happened to you?!”
“Relax, Barb,” she immediately tries to ease my fresh panic. “Relax! All it did was give me a weird day, that’s all.”
“Weird how?”
“Well I switched bodies with a maid’s for one thing,” she again shrugs casually, making my jaw drop. “Some poor mare stepped on one at the same time, so we ended up trading places. Only lasted about twelve hours; no biggie.”
“N-no biggie?!” I shriek, shocked at what I’m hearing. “Why are you acting so blasé about this?! That sounds horrible!”
“Blasé…? Heh! Reading that thesaurus Dusty gave you, I see,” Gleaming Shield jokes briefly, before returning to the subject at hoof. “And, I’ll admit, it wasn’t ideal. I lost my horn and dignity for a bit in the trade, after all; but I recognize that it could have been much worse.”
“How?!”
“She could have been a butler.”
“... Okay that’s fair.”
“Right?” the guard captain nods, before draping her forelegs over the back of our bench. “In the end, all that stupid shard managed to do was give a maid a paid day off, the guards a good laugh at my expense, and me the opportunity to cross ‘wear-a-prench-maid-outfit-in-public’ off the old bucket list.”
“... Why is that on your bucket list?”
“Why not? What, is it not on yours?”
“No, not really," I shake my head. "I had my fill of the uniform back when I used to work for the Bluebelles."
“... Oh… R-right," Gleam winces for her slip up. "Sorry, Barb. I forgot you went through something like that."
“Wish I could do the same,” I mutter under my breath. “It's okay," I choose to forgive her. "Cute outfits aside, I’m still sorry to hear that happened to you.”
“Don’t be,” Gleaming reassures me with a wave of her hoof. “It’s not like it was your fault or anything.”
Now it’s my turn to wince.
“... Barb… it wasn’t,” my friend takes on a more serious tone. “Prince Solaris is being tight-lipped about the real cause, but pretty much everypony working in the castle knows that it had something to do with Eris’ statue. It was moved from the garden about a week before the shards started popping up; they have to be connected somehow.”
“W-what if I had something to do with that though?” I suggest shyly, unwilling to fib to her. “Remember, Solaris and I meet up sometimes for secret Royal Business stuff...”
“Well, yeah, but I highly doubt your exact words were ‘let’s mess with a bunch of ponies’, girl,” Gleam disregards my whole confession. “If you had something to do with the statue, fine; but I’m going to call bull if you start blaming yourself for what a draconequus did.”
“Bu-”
Pat pat
For the second time today, I find a hoof messing with my findo.
“Barb,” is how Gleaming Shield begins, her cerulean eyes now staring directly into my own. “Making mistakes is part of the growing-up experience. Being a kid means that you’re going to be making a ton of them as you try to figure things out. Sometimes you’ll do things you don’t mean to, and that’s okay; so long as you recognize what you had control over, and what you didn’t.
“If you feel that moving the statue was a wrong call that’s fine, but you have to understand that we’re the ones who stepped on the shards, and it was Eris’ magic that did the rest. You had nothing to do with that part, understood?”
“I… I… B-bu-”
“DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, SOLDIER?!”
“Ma'am, yes ma’am!” I instinctively stand at attention and salute.
Whoomp
With a playful punch to the stomach, Gleaming shoots me a toothy grin as the wind exits my body.
“Glad to hear,” she continues to tense my now prone form.
“J-jerk,” I whimper dramatically, though the relief in my voice betrays me.
I really, really needed to hear that.
Recognize what you had control over, and what you didn’t, huh…
… As good of words to live by as any, I suppose.
“Thank you,” I express my gratitude to the kindhearted pony.
“No problem, Barb,” she smiles back. “Been meaning to return the favor from last time anyways.”
“From last time?”
“Yeah... Thanks again for encouraging me to go with Prince Mi Amore Bolero, by the way,” she explains herself fully, successfully refreshing my memory. Oh, right! Last time I saw Gleam she had left on an airship with Bolo!
“How did Los Pegasus go, by the way?” I ask her as soon as the thought crosses my mind. “You didn’t write anything about it in our planning letters for today.”
“...”
“... Gleam?”
“...”
… Gleaming Shield’s face abruptly turns pure red.
“U-um, w-w-well,” she stammers wildly, now unable to form a cohesive sentence. “Hehe… Y-you… Y-y-you see… um…”
“We’ll tell you when you’re older.”
“Ahh!” a stranger’s voice, whispering in my ear, frightens me right out of my seat.
Looking up from my new position on the ground, I quickly spot none other than Prince Bolero snickering at my downed self...
… Ah jeez.
And here I thought I was only going to have to deal with one annoying alicorn for today.
“P-Prince Bolero!” Gleaming gasps, standing now at attention.
“Where did you come from?!” I interject, jumping back to my feet.
“Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very muc-”
“Bolo no!”
“Bolo yes,” the pinkish stallion laughs at Gleam’s horrified expression, much to my frustration. “Granted I don’t know how the mechanics work for dragons, but I’m sure the principle is still the same.”
“Gonna hard pass on this topic,” I fight for attention. “Why are you here?”
“Last I checked it’s a free country, Borb.”
“My name’s Barb!”
“That’s what I said, Borb.”
“Prince Bolero, shouldn’t you be in the castle?” Gleaming Shield rediscovers her spine, though I notice that her knees are still a bit wobbly. Bleh. “It’s rather late in the eve…”
“I can see that just fine, Captain Shield,” the Prince of Love snorts in a very unprincely manner. “Returning to the castle is the last thing I want to do right now though.”
“Why?”
“Um, because it’s cursed, my dude?” Bolo rolls his eyes at my friend. “I’m not interested in switching bodies, becoming moody, or getting turned into a rubbery ducky today thank-you-very-much. I’d rather spend the night elsewhere.”
“Why are you here though?” I push forward, regaining the alicorn's attention. “The inns are on the opposite side of the city!”
“... Me? Stay at an inn?” Prince Bolero dramatically gasps in faux revulsion. “Dooming myself to a fate of subpar beds and cheap cider... like a peasant? Hah! No prince would be caught dead having to rough it like that!”
~At the Same Time, Underneath the Same Sky~
“Huzzah! The inn! Oh, how we have longed for its shelter and warmth! Come, friends! Let us order affordable cider and be merry for our good fortune!”
“... The Trixster is starting to warm up to this weirdo.”
Stardust facehoofed.
~Back to the Then, and Now~
“No,” Bolo continues. “An inn simply isn’t going to cut it for somepony of my stature…
“... I’m afraid only Gleaming Shield’s couch will suffice.”
“Well, I’m sure we can arrange something for you Bole- wait what?” Gleam blinks, her mind having just registered that last bit. “M-my couch?! Prince Bolero, you have to be joking!”
“I’m afraid not, Captain,” the multi-colored maned stallion reports solemnly, as if it was of grave importance. “I must commandeer your couch for the foreseeable future; at least until the castle is uncurseafied.”
“... I don’t think that’s a word.”
“Well it is now,” the Prince snaps at me, before turning back to my friend. “So what do you say, Gleaming Shield?”
“I-I say this is crazy!” Gleaming argues back. “Bolo, you can’t be serious!”
“In what way?”
“You can’t seriously be expecting me to have you to sleep on my couch!” she yells, growing frustrated. “At least take my bed or something!”
Bolo gasps.
“My! How forward of you, offering to share your bed with me! I will gladly accept, Captain~”
Gleaming starts to say something…
… but then her own words catch up with the rest of her brain, and she came to realize the terrible mistake she had just made.
“N-no! I-I-I meant to have, n-not share!” she shrieks, her whole body turning red with embarrassment. “I-I’ll sleep with the couc- ON!! I’ll sleep on the couch, not wit- WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP LAUGHING?!”
Bolo, flat on his back and coughing up a storm, fails to hear Gleam’s request.
I, meanwhile, stuck in the middle and unable to help, gently pat my gal pal’s back in a show of silent understanding.
It took a good few minutes for Prince Bolo to stop chortling, and to finally leave us alone…
… Well, I say he left, but in reality all he did was give the two of us enough space to continue our girl talk. He’s still very much in the park, and he’s still very much going to head back to Gleam’s place with us, but for now he’s granting us privacy and for that I am grateful.
So much for our girls-only slumber party though. At least Gleam has a spare basket for me to sleep in tonight. If I had to share the couch with Bolo… Argh!
“That guy’s unbelievable!” I fume, still upset over everything that had just happened.
“Yeah,” Gleaming nods her head in agreement. “He is pretty unbelievable...”
I shoot her a look.
“... U-unbelievably rude, I mean!” she quickly corrects herself, having noticed my judging glare.
Though I roll my eyes, I choose to say nothing.
“A-anyways,” the blue-haired unicorn attempts to change the subject. “Enough about him. I’m more curious how things have been going in Ponyville."
Accepting this new topic, I sit back down on the lampost-lit park bench to gather my thoughts.
“Things have been going fine,” I start slowly, allowing the report I had rehearsed for Solaris to come out naturally. “Dusk and his friends have been getting along well enough. There were a couple of instances where they got on each other’s nerves, and there was an incident with some Gala tickets where they all were fighting, but everypony made up afterward and there weren't any hurt feelings. Some visitors came to town that gave Rainbow Dash and Dusk a hard time as well, but thanks to their friendships they got over it pretty quickly. There was also this thing that happened to Applejack a little while back where he was forced to-”
“Hold it hold it hold it,” Gleaming Shield suddenly interrupts, halting my retelling.
Turning to her, I’m surprised to see that she looks… kinda disappointed in me.
Huh?
“That’s all well and good, Barb," she explains. "but when I asked how things were going in Ponyville... I meant with you; not Dusk.”
“What?” I ask in turn, taken aback. “Don’t you want to hear how your brother’s been doing?”
At this, the mare’s features soften.
“Of course I do,” she admits honestly, almost motherly. “I want to hear about that too…
“... But I can get that story from the pony himself,” she finishes, now looking at me more directly. “I can also hear it through Prince Solaris, or even read it through those friendship letter things he's been receiving.”
Plop
Gleam's hoof then finds its way to my shoulder and lays itself gently upon it.
“I can’t do the same with you though, Barb,” my friend smiles at me sweetly. “There aren't any letters for me to read, or princes to ask. The only way I’m going to find out how you’re doing is by… well… getting the answer from the dragon’s mouth…
“... So come on, girl, don’t keep me and the others in suspense,” she pleads to me with hopeful eyes. “What have you learned about friendship so far?”
“Others?” I ask, unable to think of anything else to say.
I'm honestly at a loss for words here.
“Well the folks back home will want to know how you’re doing,” Gleaming starts listing. “They’ve been trying to find a way to ship gems to you through the post office, by the way, but they keep getting flagged for ‘possible terrorist funding’, or something equally as stupid... Then there’s Pony Mary Joe. She’s been wondering where her favorite pair of customers have wandered off to. Maybe visit her to let her know you're okay; you might even get a complimentary box out of it… Oh and don’t get me started on my girls!”
“Your girls?”
“In the squad,” she elaborates. “You’d be surprised how many maids go on to become guards in this city, and some of them were even your nursemaids once! They’ve got stories from back when you were a rugrat that you’ve probably long forgotten! Hah!”
“... Wow,” I mutter quietly, overwhelmed by this rush of information. “They still remember me?”
“Remember and remember well,” Gleam reaffirms. “Petal Blossom was the one who cheered you on when you were first learning how to walk, Sky Shimmer helped you with your first fire breathing exercises, and Wingson still has the pictures of your first birthday!
“They still think about you, Barb, and I know they want to hear some good news just as much as I do.”
“...”
“...”
… The clearing goes quiet for a moment as I take the time I need to digest this.
I…
…
… I’m a selfish dragon, aren’t I?
Prince Solaris told me straight to my face that there were ponies in Canterlot that cared about me, yet I chose to brush him aside. I was so certain that he was just saying nonsense to manipulate me with, but hearing it again from Gleam… How can it possibly be wrong?
There are ponies in Canterlot that care about me just like there are ponies that care about me back in Ponyville…
… meanwhile, while I’ve been busy woe-is-me-ing, they’ve been worried... and hoping that I’m doing well...
… And I almost brushed them all aside.
…
… Let’s start fixing that, shall we?
“I… I-I’ve been getting along with Dusk’s friends,” I start small on my completely unrehearsed, and completely honest take. My friend leans in expectantly as my words begin to pick up speed. “I don’t know how I feel about some of them yet, like Elusive and Applejack, but Bubble Berry’s been nice. He even got the ponies who run the local bakery to add gems to their menu, just for me!”
“Well that was cool of him,” Gleaming grins wide, enjoying my change in tone. “How about that big guy from that photo you showed me? What was his name… Butterscotch?”
“He likes to be called Butters,” I bounce in my seat, becoming excited to share… or maybe it’s just all the coffee I drank earlier finally kicking in. “He has this cute little cottage near the forest where he takes care of a bunch of different animals! They’re all his friends and, although he’s afraid of dragons, he likes me! Truthfully he can be a little intimidating with his large size and flat expressions, but I know he has a heart that’s just as big as he is.”
“Sounds like a swell guy,” my sole audience member chuckles at my enthusiasm.
“Oh-oh, and then there’s Rainbow Dash!”
“Hmmm… Rainbow Dash... That’s the pretty one, right?”
My head rapidly nods yes.
“Yup! The super pretty one!” I happily confirm. “I got to spend a lot of time with him so far, even more than the others! One day he even came to me and, get this, asked if I could help turn him into a lady!”
“Hah! What? No way.”
“Yes way,” I snicker back, enjoying the look of surprise on her face. “He wanted to talk like one, and trot like one, and especially dress like one; so I gave him a crash course! It was soooo much fun, and he looked soooo darling in the end!”
“Wow…” Gleaming sits back in shock. “Dusk sure knows how to pick em’… I hope you didn’t push that poor stallion too hard, girl!”
“Um… W-well maybe I did go a little overboard during the training,” I scratch the back of my head out of fresh self-consciousness. “But we're still friends, so I don’t think he minded all the much... In fact…”
“...”
“...”
My gal pal’s eyebrow raises in response to my pause.
I’m debating whether I want to share this next part with her or not…
… Eh, she’s not Solaris; I don’t have to be so guarded around her.
“In fact,” I restart where I had stopped. “He told me that he was worried about me coming to Canterlot by myself, and even offered to tag along. His work kept him from coming, but still…”
“... Sounds to me like he’s a very special friend, Barb.”
“Yeah… He is, Gleam,” a warm and fuzzy feeling begins to grow in my chest. “I hope he can come with me next time. I’d love for you to meet him.”
“Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, girl.”
With that, the fuzzy feeling grows.
Hehehe~
Let’s see, who else should I tell her about… Oh! Got it!
“I also made some friends that are my age!” I report eagerly, hoping she'll be pleased to hear this.
Sure enough, just as I had predicted, Gleam's face lights up like a Hearth’s Warming Tree thanks to this news.
“Really? That’s awesome!” she cheers just as enthusiastically. There’s a hint of relief in her voice too, I notice; like this was the information she was waiting to hear the most. “What are they like?”
“Well the two I hang out with the most are named Sweepy Belle and Scooteroll, and they’r-”
“Ooooohhh~! Were those two colt names I just overheard, Borb~?”
“S-shut up, Bolo!” I scream back towards the distant stallion, him clearly not being far away enough. “That’s none of your business!”
“Which one of them do you have the crush on~?”
“... Which one do I… Bleh! THAT’S GROSS, BOLO!” I gag at the very suggestion.
The age difference alone is just… Brrrrr
“Boys won't have cooties forever, little lady~"
“Don’t pay him any mind,” Gleaming quickly comes to my aid, as she gently directs me back into a sitting position with a hoof. “Bolo wasn’t born with a horn, so who knows what growing one did to his brain.”
“... You know I can still hear you, right?”
Gleam then went on to shoot the stallion a look, one that screamed "Do you want a place to stay tonight or not?"
“... Annnnd I think I can also hear paparazzi too,” Bolero quickly backpedals, journeying further into the park and mercifully away from us. “Better make myself scarce, and junk…”
As soon as he disappears, my dear friend turns back to me and patiently waits for me to continue.
◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠
The next several minutes were spent sharing all the misadventures Sweepy, Scooter, and I had gotten into over the past month. The games of pretend, the sports, the tree sap; everything. I also took the time to talk about Apple Buck, a foal who, while isn’t quite part of our group yet due to destiny tempting timing issues, is still a pony I enjoy interacting with. I briefly mentioned Sugar and Spice as well, two fillies who I wouldn’t claim are friends of mine, but who I’ve talked with a little bit about the sort of topics we adolescent girls enjoy discussing. Boybands, fashion fads, where to chuck a body, etc., etc.
Once I ran out of the ponies one can easily find on a playground, I switched my targeting reticule to a few of the Ponyvillians I’ve had some minor interactions with since moving in. This shortlist included the likes of Mayor Mustang, the stallion who willingly offered me help during Nightterror’s return. Talking about him made me realize how much I respect him in comparison to, say, the dragon hating Mayor Queen Bee. It’s thanks to Mustang’s policies and openness towards the strange and unusual that I'm allowed to roam Ponyville at all. Maybe I should do something nice for him the next chance I get.
The delivery mare Derpy Hooves also came up during my listing, despite her having only been a one-off character interaction. Something about her made her memorable though... or maybe I was just craving one of her gem-encrusted muffins at the time. Whatever the reason was, I told Gleam all about her antics, and even about the weird thing she said about being a “fixed point”; something that only managed to trigger my gal pal's nerd-mode. She spent quite a bit of time ranting and raving about some long-running comic series from Trottingham which I’m afraid to admit I tuned out.
Once I was given the floor again, I mentioned a short encounter I had with Harpsy; a teal-hued unicorn Dusk and I knew from Canterlot. He had moved to Ponyville at some point to be with his “super best friend” Toffee, a local candy maker. Dusk didn’t remember him a whole lot, which was disappointing to see, but Harpsy didn’t seem to mind all that much. He played some music for me on his harp, I let him sketch my talons; overall, it was a pleasant exchange.
As the night began to deepen, and as the cold started to settle in, Gleaming Shield and I felt it was about time for us to start heading out. Before we left, however, there was one last pony I just had to tell her about.
Saving the best for last only seemed appropriate.
◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠
“... Oh, oh! Before we go, there’s one last pony I’ve got to tell you about!”
“Hehe, okay Barb,” Gleaming attempts to calm me down. “One more for the road.”
“She’s,” I start confidently, making sure to paint as big of a picture that this particular mare deserves. “Well, she’s… really special… And one of the first ponies I met in Ponyville. She’s big and kind, and… heh… Don’t get too jealous when I say this, Gleam, but she might be one of my new best friends.”
“You’re allowed to have more than one best friend, girl,” the unicorn laughs at my perceived childishness… which might be legitimate at this point. “I promise I won’t get jealous though.”
“Thanks,” I giggle, feeling giddy. “Anyways; she’s super nice, and considerate, and she’s even Applejack’s big sister!
“Her name is Red-
~In Another Time, In Another Place~
“-Mac!”
Shining Armor waited patiently as the young drake turned quiet, becoming deep in thought. He didn’t feel the need to push his little buddy along, for he knew he would spit the whole story out once he was good and ready.
And, after a time, Spike was just that.
“He’s always looking out for me,” is how he chose to begin, as he focused on everything that made Big Macintosh special to him. “Making sure I’m comfortable in Ponyville, making sure Twilight doesn’t push me too hard… Not that she ever does, obviously, but he always asks.”
“Well that doesn’t surprise me one bit,” Shining stated offhoofedly, brushing the oddness aside. “What you and Twily share is pretty unique, Spike. In a little town like Ponyville, it would be more shocking if there weren’t ponies wondering what your whole deal is.”
“Yeah, but the girls never ask,” the dragon pointed out, a hint of disappointment present in his voice. “I wish at least Rarity would… Maybe they’re just trying to be nice or something? I-I don’t know how mares think.”
“Hey don’t look at me,” the stallion beside him shrugged off his searching gaze. “I’m just as clueless in that department as you.”
“Don’t I know it,” a passing by Princess Cadance giggled quietly from her hiding spot.
“I like it when Big Mac asks though,” Spike continued. “It makes me feel… I don’t know… like I’m part of something important to him. Sometimes I feel the same way when Twilight thanks me for helping her, but it’s different when I’m with Mac. It’s like I don’t have to do anything with him to get the same thing... if that makes any sense to you. It doesn’t really for me...”
“The little guy’s looking for the word ‘family’,” Shining Armor thought to himself, the realization granting him mixed feelings.
On the one hoof, he was pleased to see that the dragon had somepony in Ponville looking out for him, and who desired to see him live the normal life he deserved.
On the other hoof, Spike’s inability to recognize unconditional affection was discerning, and failed to paint Twilight Sparkle in a flattering light.
“Twily, why do you have to be the smartest, and the dumbest, pony I know at the same time?” Shiny tsked crossly in his head. “If Celestia hadn’t commanded me to keep my distance, you’d be getting an earful right now, missy.”
“... Big Mac helped me out of a lot of jams too,” Spike resumed, regaining Shining’s attention. “Like when the girls went to take down Nightmare Moon, and recently too when Princess Lun-, er,” the drake stopped himself before he let slip too much. “I-I mean when, um, w-when a Princess in an Ogres and Oubliettes game we were playing was in trouble! Yeah, that’s it.”
“Oh, he plays O&O too?”
“Taught him myself,” Spike boasted proudly, bounding his chest as he did.
“What’s his class?”
“Black Knight.”
“Hah! Noob.”
“Be nice,” Spike commanded with a snicker. “He’s having fun, and that’s all that matters… It’d be cool if you could join us for one of our guys nights though!” he suddenly suggested, as he bounced excitedly with all his youthful energy. “O&O is way better with three players than two!”
“I’d be down...” Shining simply smiled, enjoying the sight of the boy’s enthusiasm. “... Just as soon as I can get time off of work. It’s been crazy busy in Canterlot lately, what with Princess Luna’s return and all. I’ll try to find a day where I can sneak away for a bit to visit Ponyville though; I promise.”
“Really?!”
“Oh yeah,” the unicorn tried to sound as sincere as possible, even though he knew that his schedule was already booked solid for the rest of the year. “If this Big Mac guy has become one of your best friends then I’d like to meet him. I’d like to introduce myself to all of Twily’s new friends too. Knowing her she probably never mentioned me…”
“What? That’s ridiculous, Shining Armor! Of course your sister mentioned yo-”
Upon discovering that he was receiving a stink eye for his blatant lies, Spike changed his tune.
“N-not even a passing remark,” he shyly amended his claim. “Sorry, man… In Twilight’s defense, she’s still trying to figure out what normal ponies talk about. Just yesterday she tried to strike up a conversation with Pinkie Pie about long division.”
“That poor mare,” Shining nodded somberly.
“Which one?”
After a laugh was shared at Twilight Sparkle’s expense, Shining Armor felt the need to move things along. “It sounds like you’ve made some really good friends, Spike. I’m proud of ya’, little guy.”
“Heh… t-thanks, man,” the drake’s cheeks turned red, though he was unsure why. If pressured, he wouldn’t admit that it was due to feeling warm and fuzzy inside, no siree.
Such an unmanly reaction was beneath a gentledragon such as himself, after all.
“Sounds like you met quite a few interesting ponies too,” Shining continued to tease the blushing dragon. “Though I guess that’s an inevitability when you move to Ponyville, right?”
“...!”
Suddenly, Spike remembered something important.
“Actually… heh, speaking of interesting ponies,” he started slowly, wanting to build suspense for the eventual reveal. “I bumped into one who wasn’t from Ponyville!”
“Oh?” Spike’s sole audience member tilted his head, becoming intrigued. “And who might that be?”
With a big grin etched on his face, the dragon reached a claw behind his back.
Hidden between the base of his tail and the start of his back was a beat-up, magenta-hued fanny pack. Ever on his person, intentionally blending in with his scales, the satchel was where the drake often kept his most precious tools and treats.
“I met him when I got stranded north of town the other day,” he continued to explain, as his claw kept itself busy searching through the modest-sized pack.
“How’d you end up north?”
“Got stuck on the Canterlot-bond train when I took too long writing a threatening letter to an unconscious princess,” Spike elaborated fully through his split attention… before quickly realizing his mistake. “I-I mean, um… Through completely normal Ponyville shinanigans?”
“... Ah,” Shining nodded simply, accepting the perfectly plausible explanation. “That makes sense.”
“It’s a very silly town,” the dragon laughed to cover his slip-up “A-anyways, how I ended up north isn’t important... What is important is that I got a ride home from a super interesting pony, and one who just so happened to be traveling south right when I was!”
“Well don’t keep me in suspense here, Spike,” Shining played along with the child’s hyping. “Who’d you meet?”
With his smile cheekily growing larger, Spike’s claw divided further into his bag as he redoubled his efforts. Within the sack, his talons brushed up against scrolls, scroll seals, inkwells, quills, a collection of half-eaten gems, a sack of bits, and a rather hefty tome… before at last settling on his quarry:
A signed autograph.
Taking a page out of Celestia’s playbook, the drake decided that showing was better than telling as he gripped the slip out of the bag and presented it to its intended recipient.
Twinkle twinkle twinkle
Igniting his horn with light rose magic, Shining Armor delicately levitated the piece of paper out of Spike’s grip and brought it closer to his eyes. Under the light of his aura, and the light post above him, the stallion proceeded to read the words on the page…
… and gasped.
“No way,” he uttered, blown away. “Is this...?”
“Yup,” Spike nodded cheekily.
“No way,” Shining repeated himself, rereading the autograph. “No way…”
Turning to face the child, making sure there was no deceit in his eyes, Shining Armor was forced to accept that the letter was, indeed real and, that what it represented was also indeed fact.
“... Spike… I can’t believe this… You met Hoity-
~Back to the Then, and Now~
“-Posh?!” Gleaming Shield finished, her shock evident in her tone.
I can’t help but snicker.
“I thought you of all ponies would recognize her signature, Gleam,” I keep on teasing my friend. “Aren’t you a super fan of her’s or something?”
“C-closet fan, yes,” she admits, after briefly checking to make sure that Bolo wasn’t listening. “She had the final say on the costume choices for the Power Pony Live Show, you know.”
“Hehe, yes I remember you mentioning that to me once or twice… or twenty,” I snicker as the grown mare devolves into an excited little filly.
“If it weren’t for Pish Posh’s campaign for authenticity in the theater genre, regardless of the source material, the studio hosting the show would have gone with a more advertisement-friendly reimagining!” Gleam continues to fangirl for me, unaware of how adorably Dusk-like this made her look. “I’ve been following her work ever since! Eeeeeeee!! Oh, thank you thank you thank you!”
And then, completely unprompted, the unicorn leans over to give me a big old hug...
… Heh.
What is it about my body that makes adult mares just want to smother me like a teddy bear? I imagine my scales aren’t all that comfortable against their skin… Maybe I’m just at the perfect hugging temperature? Alas, I’m doomed to never know the answer.
Truly this is the most harrowing aspect of my second life.
“You’re the best, Barb.”
“I know, but I’m humbly modest about it~”
“Snrk,” Gleaming Shield snorts at my recycled joke, the same one that got her little brother earlier today.
Letting go of me, she gives the autograph one last read before stowing it away into her saddlebags, and proceeding to place said saddlebags back upon her back.
“We should probably start heading out,” she notes to me as she leaps off the park bench. “There’s this new ice cream shop off Manestreet I want to take you to before we get to my place. Figured you could use some well-earned comfort food after dealing with Prince Solaris an-”
“Is the place called Tooty Fruity’s Frozen Emporium?” I bluntly interrupt, upsetting the mood.
Gleam blinks blankly back.
“... Oh,” she tilts her head. “Have you been there already?”
“Yeah,” I sigh, growing uncomfortable. “It opened the day before Dusk and I left Canterlot…”
I don’t want to bring this up to her, especially after we just had such a nice bonding moment… but since she made the place a part of our slumber party plans, I guess I have no choice.
“... They’ve got a no dragon policy,” I finish the icky explanation. Now finding it hard to look the mare in the eyes, I lay down the facts. “They don’t want one accidentally breathing fire around their products... W-which I totally get, of course,” I quickly tack on. “Safety concerns and whatnot. It makes perfect sense to me…”
“...”
“...”
“... Buck em’.”
“B… B-Bolo?” I turn towards the latest speaker, the one who just rejoined our group.
“Language,” Gleaming threatens the stallion, though she goes mostly ignored.
“No, buck em’,” Prince Bolero proceeds to repeat himself. “You’re not missing a thing, Borb. The crud they sell in there must have come out of the wrong end of the cow or something because it tastes like straight diarrhea to me.”
Gleaming Shield’s face properly turns green thanks to this.
“What?” Bolo defends his crassness. “I’m just saying what we’re both thinking! That third-rate parlor gives ‘cow patties’ a whole other meaning!”
...
… Okay... I’ll admit…
... the potty language got a chuckle out of me.
Maybe it’s because it came from the mouth of a prince, maybe it’s because there's something inherently funny about those specific words, or maybe it’s because I’m a literal child; whatever the case may be, Bolo had successfully made me smile again.
I don’t know whether this fact makes me happy or angry, in all honesty.
“Now enough prattling, ladies,” the sole stallion present commands. “We’re burning nightlight here! Let’s go pick up some real food somewhere and get to the nail painting, or pillow fighting, or whatever the hay it is you girls do at slumber parties.”
“We mostly eat copious amounts of junk food and play Ogres and Oubliettes, Prince Bolero,” Gleaming explains our plan to the alicorn. “If that sounds like fun to you, you’re more than welcome to join us.”
“But-” I start to argue.
Bolo may have just made an effort to cheer me up, b-but I don't want him butting in on our campaign! I've been waiting all month to continue it!
“Didn’t you just say that three players are better than two, Barb?” Gleam asks me simply, making me realize my slip up.
Eep.
Foot meet mouth, volume two.
“... The absolute vision of feminine grace and charm, this one,” Bolo mumbles something under his breath. “Why did I have to fall for a nerd? Never played the game, but I’m a quick study.”
“Glad to hear!” my gal pal cheers a tad more loudly than necessary. “I-I mean, ahem… I’m happy you’ll be joining us.”
Choosing not to give her a hard time for her taste in stallions, I jump off the bench and sling my purse strap over my shoulder.
Twinkle twinkle twinkle
The sound of magic buzzes in my ears as I find myself lifted off the ground and placed upon a pony’s back.
To my great surprise, and mild annoyance, it turns out to be Bolero’s.
I guess even he can be a gentlecolt when he feels like it... Oh dragon dung, I'm going to end up leaving on good terms with this jerk, aren't I?
Oh cruel fate, why have you forsaken me so?
With Bolo's redemption arc imminent, as well as dinner, a relaxing calm soon followed as the three of us departed the park, and made our way towards Gleaming Shield’s humble abode. Thoughts of this past day still dangle in my mind, cropping up occasionally to remind me of their existence, but I feel more inclined to address them now that I’ve been given a pleasant distraction.
Talking about my friends, and making Gleam happy, has done a marvelous job of reminding me of the facts that are most important:
There are ponies in my life that love me for who I am.
There are ponies in my life who want to see me happy.
There are ponies in my life that appreciate my presence here.
I may be a poisoned barb upon the timeline, and perhaps even the planet itself, but as long as I remember that I’ve had a positive impact on those around me the darkness will never truly take hold. Solaris may try to bully me into talking, and one day he might even succeed, but if I continue to build these fledgling connections then maybe, just maybe, I'll be okay with spilling the beans.
I am Barbara The Dragoness, and I am not alo-
Wait… the Canterlot Library is still open this late at night…?
… Huh… That's weird…
...
… S-sorry. I got distracted by my surroundings for a second there, hehe. Now... where was I? I was waxing poetic about not being alone or something, right?
…
… ?!
“Stop!” I suddenly bark, halting my ride’s trot.
“I-I’m right flipping here, Borb,” Bolo winces, his ears flattening across his skull thanks to my shouting.
“What’s up, Barb?” Gleaming inquires, while simultaneously emphasizing my name for Bolo’s sake.
“I almost forgot something!” I explain quickly, as I jump off Bolero’s back and onto the pavement. Thank you, reinforced dragon knees. “I’ll be back in a sec!”
“Where are you going?”
In mid-dash, with no intention of stopping, I make it halfway up the Library’s many stone steps before I turn towards the lovebirds and shout back an explanatory cry of:
“I’ve got a letter to deliver!”