!" she wails, clutching her arm. "Wait, I can't say ?!"PRESS START TO CONTINUE!
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
"I'm up, I'm up..."
Quirky siren turned human Sonata Dusk awakens in her humble little apartment from a sound slumber that's being interrupted by her bouncing alarm clock. Slumping out the covers in her cozy violet pajamas, she hits the snooze button and looks over to her festive food-themed calendar.
There, the date jolts her awake faster than any cup of coffee ever could.
Today was the day.
Yes, THAT day.
"Taco Tuesday!" she squees, bouncing around in excitement with a jaunty BOING. "YES!"
Sonata jumps out of bed for her dresser at lightning speed. Flipping through a seemingly endless lineup of outfits within, she taps her usual default clothes that swaps places with her jammies.
Dressed and pumped up, she hops over to her smol kitchen. Flipping through the drawers, the taco lover grabs a plate and looms over her fridge.
"Come to MAMA, taco!" she giggles, swinging the sucker open.
Her heart sinks.
The fridge was near barren, comprised of half-empty containers and jugs, sadly not graced by the zesty presence of the crunchy treasure.
"Taco?" she whimpers nervously, searching every inch of the fridge. "TACO? TACO?!?! Out of my way, purple stuff! TACOOOO!"
As she babbles on, a slightly tattered scroll squeezes through her door's mail slot and rolls up to Sonata's boots with a pleasant DING!, catching her attention.
"A quest scroll?" she ponders, taking the mysterious object and holding it high.
YOU HAVE ACQUIRED A QUEST SCROLL! a line of text reads.
"Let's see here..."
Once upon a time, there was a mystical gift bestowed upon the world by the gods:
🌮
THE MIGHTY TACO!
"Ooh, sounds mighty tasty!"
The Mighty Taco brought peace to the universe, using its sacred power to end world hunger and generate free tacos for everyone.
"So that's why my fridge always has one hot and ready! Weird..."
However, there are those who wish to claim this treasure for their own benefits, like the dreaded Thug Leader.
"The Thug Leader? Guy doesn't have a name? I'd be rowdy too if I was given a name like that at birth."
As we speak, the Thug Leader and his goons have infiltrated and took refuge in the Temple of Taco to reap its savory rewards!
"The world can't live without tacos! That fiend will PAY!"
Now go forth, adventurer. Seek out the Mighty Taco, defeat those thieves and restore peace!
"Where do I start?"
A flashy green arrow points to her open window.
"Ah, gotcha."
Sonata flips out the window, landing on an awning and safely down to the busy streets below. Looking around for directions, a blinking red triangle points upon a quaint house that sticks out like a sore thumb in the flashy city.
"Huh," she ponders. "Maybe this place has what I'm looking for."
Sonata marches over and enters the generic home, startling a middle-aged man resting in the living room.
"Who are you?" he grunts. "Why are you in my house?!"
"I'm on an epic quest." Sonata nods.
"What does intruding others' homes have to do with it?!"
"T-That usually happens in these types of quests. Do you have anything that I could use on my journey-"
"You walk in like you own the place, and then you ask for my STUFF?!"
"...yes?"
"Leave or I'll call the authorities!"
"U-Uh......please be unconscious!"
Panicked, Sonata swings her bat against the man's head, sending him falling to the floor, lying motionless.
"Fine," she utters nervously. "He's fine..."
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!:
Slew a Defenseless Man in Cold Blood. Oops...
Backing out with her hands covering her mouth, she awkwardly scurries out of the home. Outside, a shiny gold block fashioning a white exclamation point on all sides pops into view, enticing the adorkable adventurer.
"Ooh, these could contain practically anything!" she says in excitement, strolling up to the mysterious box. "What could it be, what could it be?!"
Getting into position, she leaps under the box and-
CRACK!
"Ahhhhh, the pain!"
Sonata wails in absolute anguish as her skull splits open from the harsh collision. Red pixels spill out from her cranium before she combusts into an explosion of blue pixels.
A few moments later, she blinks back into existence completely whole.
"All the religions are wrong!" she gasps. "How many lives do I have?"
A number 2 pops up beside her.
"No way, I won't waste anymore on cheap deaths!"
A stubborn Sonata dances in place, throwing her arms out in a specific pattern until her amount of lives become infinite.
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!:
Noob Move.
"No regerts!"
Up ahead, a happy, derpy-eyed star floating around shakes in anticipation before the new traveler.
"Hey, pick me up!" she squeaks, bouncing in place with a proud smile.
"Ooh, a star! Invincibility, here I come!"
Collecting the object, Sonata continues down the path with a gleeful skip, flexing her skinny arms.
There, she discovers herself going backwards as she's attempting to walk forward.
"!dexnij neeb ev'I, oN" she mumbles, turning to walk backwards toward the right direction. "I'm confused, do I have to speak backwards the whole time? No? Okay, good."
Down the road, a red mushroom lies upon the ground.
"A mushroom, maybe if I pick it-"
Her eyes pop out of her suddenly sweating, beet-red face. Falling to her knees, she scratches at her throat at an intense speed.
"Hard...to breathe...P O I S O N..." she wheezes.
Sonata collapses to the ground and explodes into a cloud of pixels upon impact. A few seconds tick by before she comes flickering back into existence in one piece.
"And I'm back!" she sighs in relief, walking forward normally. "Least that broke the cycle."
Moving forward, Sonata takes a shortcut through a nearby alley. There, an untrustworthy thug rushes in and towers over the girl.
"Tell me where the Mighty Taco is, you jerk!" she grunts.
"No way," the man scoffs. "It's ours now! You'll never find it in the Temple of Taco up on 234 Harm's Way!"
"Gotcha!"
"...crud."
"Thank you, brainless NPC!"
BOP!
Red pixels gush out of the goon and bounce off Sonata's bat as she strikes him across the jaw with her wooden friend. The criminal goes limp and hits the ground as five shiny gold coins pop up beside him.
"Ooh, gimme!" Sonata squeaks, earning 25 coins upon collecting them.
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!:
Purposefully Murdered Someone. Metal...
Further down the alley, she spots three more identical thugs stomping around back and forth in a monotonous cycle.
"Hold it right there!"
"Can't you just let us pace back and forth in peace?" one thug grunts.
"Hmm......nah!"
With the power of hunger on her side, Sonata throws her bat in a spinning direction, bopping it off the skulls of the three men. The coins from her fallen victims swirl up and fly into her pockets.
"TACOOOO!!!" she roars. "Oooh, I wonder what cool things I can buy with all these coins!"
Stepping out the alley past the beaten corpses, she cringes as the derpy star pops up into view.
"Pick me up, Sonny!" she chimes.
"Fool me once!" Sonata huffs, backflipping over the silly star.
The star frowns and wiggles out from her spot, following after.
"Hey, come back!"
A bird suddenly crosses paths with the derpy star and bumps her off course. The power item spins like a buzzsaw and bounces off a brick wall at top speed before ricocheting back and slicing Sonata's head clean off, reducing her to a bloody pixelated pile of ash.
"Sorry!" the star yells sheepishly as Sonata regenerates. "I just don't know what went wrong!"
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!:
A Star Is Scorned!
"Just stay outta my way!" Sonata groans. "Isn't there a star school for you or something?"
"Eeyup, I got a B in Engrish!"
"Oi..."
The tired trekker slogs forward, sighing in relief as she arrives on Harm's Way, spotting the colossal temple off in the horizon.
"Oh, sweet taco, mama's coming, hang in there!" she coos.
Out from the bushes, a small pink puff of fluff bounces in front of her path with a light "PFFT!"
"Oh," she grumbles. "And how will you torture me?"
ABLEEP rings around the area as the furball blinks away at the touch of her finger.
"O...kay?"
Soon, her collar wiggles about before a puffy tuft of blue fur pops a button and poofs out of her shirt, fluffing freely on her chest.
"Dafudge?!" she gasps, brushing it curiously. "What power-up is this exactly?"
F L O O F - M O D E ! ! ! an extravagant text flashes above her.
"Floof mode? What does that do?"
Gives you the ability to captivate enemies!
"Pfffft, nonsense! Who could possibly be captivated by a fluffy chest?"
Making her way inside the spoopy corridors of the temple, an army of thugs come rushing in from door ahead, charging at her. The chainsaw-wielding commander of the group comes screeching to a halt along with the others, dropping his weapon with a look of awe.
"..."
"What's your deal?" Sonata asks.
"I...was going to insult and attack you," the commander states. "But your majestic floof has...captivated me."
"Huh......neat."
Spinning her bat, Sonata bashes a nearby lever, activating a room-wide trap door that drops the entire army in a pit of pixely lava.
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!:
Murdered over 20 People! Whoopity Doo...
The thugs' bodies melt away, leaving behind more coins that fly into her pockets once more.
"What in the world can I do with all these coins?" she grunts. "I collected, like, 100 of these things, is there a store? What's the point if I can't spend it all?!"
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!:
Whined About Picking Up 100 Coins.
Finally, Sonata stumbles upon a massive door incredibly wrapped in thick chains and fashioning three metal locks dangling at the center.
"Hmm, how do I get in...?"
Behind this door lies the Thug Leader's lair. a wall of text pops up.
To reach him, you must first find the bone key in the jungle castle in order to unlock a chest in the ice castle and-
BANG! BANG! BANG!
A seething Sonata annihilates the locks with a hateful sneer.
Okay, never mind! Jeez...
"Thank you."
The doors slowly swing open, revealing a vast throne room surrounded by a moat of lava.
There it was...
The Mighty Taco.
In all it's mighty goodness.
Trapped in a luminescent bubble, the Mighty Taco hangs his tortilla in sadness. Under it, the dreaded Thug Leader smugly rests upon the golden throne next to a pile of fresh tacos.
"So, you finally made it." he snickers coldly.
"I've come to free that poor deity of deliciousness!" Sonata says sternly, pointing at the hopeful taco with her weapon. "Let him go!"
"Oh no, what shall I possibly do?"
A glass dome forms atop the throne as it levitates off the ground with the Thug Leader inside.
"Good thing I got this doomsday device in handy."
"WHAT?!" Sonata gasps. Where'd you get the time to buy a doomsday device? Who SELLS this kinda stuff?!"
"Noice 'R Us."
"Why is it called-"
ZAP! a red laser shoots from a stem under the throne and shaves Sonata's floof clean off her chest.
"Because that's NOICE!" he cackles.
"My waifu status!" Sonata cries. "Nooooooooo!"
"Why don't you just give up and go home? It's clear that I've won already here."
"I would, but I'd feel bad for bumping off all those henchmen for nothing."
"So, to rationalize the homicide of dozens of people, you need to kill one more guy?"
"Zip it, ugly!"
"Hey, that's my harsh dialogue, stick to the script!"
"Oh, uh...no, I'm not!"
The Thug Leader blasts a laser, grazing her shoulder.
"Ah, !" she wails, clutching her arm. "Wait, I can't say ?!"
Sonata ducks under the onslaught of beams, flinging her bat at the villain's dome, putting a small crack into it.
"Ha, one hit! That oughta-"
SLICE! three lasers dice through the adventurer's flesh, grinding her to pixels.
BLEEP! Sonata poofs back in action.
"I'm. Getting. That TACO!"
"Bring it!"
ZAP!
BLEEP!
"Just a flesh wound!"
ZAP!"
BLEEP!
"You call that a laser? That's just a little lightbulb that blinks!"
ZAP!
BLEEP!
"Okay, time out!"
"What, what is it?" TL sighs.
"This is too difficult! You mind toning down the difficulty a bit? Wouldn't want anyone to rage quit before they could see the ending, right?"
"Hmph, whatever you say. I suppose I won't shoot my lasers on expert mode, if that's what you want."
"Yeah. Yes, that would be great, thank you."
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!:
No Dignity Whatsoever. Hooray!
PEW! a puny laser blast slowly zooms by for Sonata to easily dodge.
She chucks her weapon at the flying throne, damaging its dome further. Smoke emits from the mechanisms of the device underneath the throne and throws off the Thug Leader's control over it.
"This isn't fair!" TL growls, knocking about within the dome.
"Rule of three..." she mumbles. "FOR THE POWER OF TACOOOOOOOOS!!!!!!"
With a powerful super jump, Sonata raises her bat and plunges down on the superweapon, striking the dome and shattering it to pieces. The contraption fizzles and sizzles about until-
"How does damaging one part of a weapon damage everything else on it?!" TL complains. "This is some bull-"
BOOM!
The doomsday device bursts into flames, crashing to the ground and dropping the blazing Thug Leader into the fiery pool below. The bubble containing the Mighty Taco disappears, freeing the happy thing once and for all.
Congratulations! You have defeated the Thug Leader! the text read.
"Darn right, I did!" Sonata laughs triumphantly. "I just dropped him down into lava and watched as his grimy flesh strip from his corpse as he foolishly tried to escape his fate......anyways, time for my taco!"
The Mighty Taco floats up to the victorious she-ro and magically plops a warm, crispy taco into her hands, nuzzling up against her arm.
"Mmm, ambrosia..." she hums in delight, savoring its crunchy taste.
And Sonata enjoyed her taco, saved the world from the taco famine and lived happily ever after.
THE END!
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!:
Beat the Game!