The next morning we got back to Ponyville with our load of books, we dropped off the main bunch at the library and spent the rest of the day giving out the rest to our friends. Spike had kept the library in excellent shape; in fact it looked like he hadn't been there at all. When I asked him he admitted he had stayed at Rarity’s all weekend in the guest room, a dream come true for him.
Things went back to their normal routine, Twilight had plenty of studying to catch up on and I had lots of work waiting for me as well, I didn't need the money now but I still wanted to help out. Not to mention anything that might make me look more acceptable in the eyes of the Princesses couldn't hurt.
Everyday I formulated and discarded plan after plan, nothing I could come up with seemed acceptable.
I bounced ideas off Rarity, Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy and even Pinkie Pie. They were all sympathetic but had no idea what I could do.
I tried not to bring it up with Twilight too often; I could see it was hurting her. But a few weeks after we came back from our trip I was out of ideas, that evening as we lay in bed I decided maybe I should ask Twilight if she had any ideas.
We lay together as we always did, her beautiful head on my chest; I gently stroked her soft mane. For the thousandth time I marvelled how amazing she was, how my perceptions could be changed. A pony? Her spirit and attitude, her beautiful soul. And even her body, so different than a human's but so the same. No, not even that, I couldn't imagine her any other way, I didn't want her to be any other way.
Fate... Can be cruel and kind they say. To find the one being in an infinite universe of dimensions that you could connect with so close... And to have that taken?
My votes for cruel.
"Twi?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry. I've tried and tried to come up with something... I'm just not..."
"I know. It’s hard. I've been trying too."
"You have? I... I was trying to spare you from having to think about..."
She looked up at me, her eyes luminescent in the moonlight. "We're in this together."
"I... Yes. What ideas did you have? Because all mine sucked."
She giggled. "Well at first I simply asked. The Princess and I are quite close... But she said she couldn't let her personal feelings interfere."
I hugged her tightly. "Sorry."
"Then I mentioned how you saved the Crusaders, she was impressed and commended you on your bravery... But that was as far as she would go."
"I wouldn't want her to think I only saved them so I could stay anyhow."
"The girls and I went around town getting signatures from everypony for a petition; the Mayor even wrote a very nice letter on your behalf mentioning all the good you've done here..."
"I had no idea everyone went to so much trouble for me. What did she say?"
"Nothing... She suggested if we could get the signatures of everypony in Equestria... Ugh! Why is she being so difficult?! Can't she see I...?”
I hugged her tightly kissing her brow. "I'm sorry to cause this friction between you two Twi. She's just doing her duty I guess. Well, what if I accepted banishment instead of going back? You could come visit me sometimes right?"
"There are not many places hospitable outside Equestria, and many hostile creatures outside our borders... I... I could go with you..."
"Into banishment? Twi, no... You... You would do that for me?"
She nodded her eyes moist with tears.
"Oh Twi. I don't deserve you." I held her close. "I couldn't do that to you. Take you from your friends and family, you new niece or nephew. No, I'd hate myself for it. And eventually you would hate me for it too..."
She hugged me back tightly. "I could never... I don't want to lose you."
"I don't know what we can do... I... I don't want to lose you either... We'll keep thinking."
She settled back down against me as I wiped away the moisture in my own eyes.
In my heart I knew we were meant to be together.
But my mind said it wasn't going to be.
Stupid brain...
I didn't want to lose hope, but when you’re in a situation you just can't win... Still we kept coming up with ideas, as they got more and more outlandish I began to get despondent. But Twilight... She just wouldn't give up, wouldn't let me give up.
We began to have... Disagreements, not fights. I couldn't bring myself to really argue forcibly with her but she is so stubborn. One of the many things I love about her. Hard on Spike though, poor little guy.
The days kept slipping by, the day before my exile we were invited to Sugarcube Corner, Twilight, Spike and I arrived late in the morning and entered.
"Surprise!" A large crowd of ponies popped out from their hiding places, a banner on the wall read 'Sorry you've got to go!'
Pinkie Pie and the Cakes began serving refreshments as ponies gathered around to say thanks for the help; most of them didn't know the whole story. To them it was just a fun farewell party.
Twilight sat to the side looking dejected despite the best efforts of her friends to cheer her up. I caught her eye a few times and smiled at her to try to cheer her up.
The party went on all day with ponies coming and going. As evening wore on it was down to just us eight, we gathered together and I poured each of them a drink.
"My friends, you have made this the most amazing time in my life. Thank you. Maybe someday when I pass on my spirit will return and I can be reborn here where I belong. Cheers."
They all clinked their glasses with me except Twilight; still looking morose as she sat quietly.
The party wound down and I embraced each of my friends bidding them a sad farewell. The three of us began to walk back to the library.
Twilight stopped and looked back at me, a sleepy Spike on her back. "It won't be like that."
"Wha..."
"You won't come back. You'll just be gone... And I'll be alone... Again..."
"Twi I just..."
Before I could say anymore she galloped off Spike barely holding on.
I really, really hated this. But there was nothing I could do.
When I got back to the library that evening I tried again to explain to Twilight... Again to tell her how I felt.
"Twi, I know you’re upset but..."
"But what?! You’re just going to go then?!" Her voice lowered to a whisper as she hung her head. "You're going to leave me...?"
It broke my heart seeing her like that. Knowing I was the cause. "You know I don't want to Twi. The Princess's..."
"I don't care what they said!" She screamed at me, her eyes filled with tears.
I knelt down and tried to hold her but she pulled away, turning her back to me. "You’re not making this any easier on me Twi. I can't..."
"Fine! You want to go so bad! Go! You can just sleep on the couch tonight!" She turned and stormed up the stairs leaving me with a very confused and frightened looking Spike.
"Sorry buddy. Guess I broke that promise after all. It'll be ok, go on." I patted him gently on the head. He climbed the stairs looking down at me with a sad look on his face.
"Twi. Please come back down, I just want to talk some more. To tell you..." I was interrupted by a telekinetically thrown pillow to the face knocking me to the floor followed by a blanket.
With a heavy sigh I sat down on the couch, I grabbed a quill, some ink and a piece of parchment and began to write.
My dearest Twilight
If I have handed you this letter on my way through the portal back to my world without having told you my feelings then I am still a coward and I'm sorry. I love you Twilight. I love you so much it hurts. I wish I could have come up with a way to stay with you. I hope you can forgive me someday. I know I'll never forget you, I don't know how I'll live without you. I'm so glad you have your friends and Spike to help you when I'm gone, please lean on them in my absence. I'm so sorry Twi, I should have told you so much sooner. I love you! I love you! I love you! I can't say it enough. Please forgive me.
Love you forever.
Rick
I folded it up and slipped it into my jacket pocket, and then I tried to get comfortable on the unfamiliar couch.
Maybe she would calm down by tomorrow...
Last chance to tell her...
Last day in Equestria.