A shooting nightmare

by The Psychopath

Phillip's fairy hunt

Mathews' car drove up to his house like a bullet and parked it on his lawn. Not long after that, he grabbed Crescent and ran for the door. Strangely, he noticed someone crouched on the sidewalk and punching something on the floor. It was Phillip. Mathews turned around, with a tiny filly in his arms, and both looked at him in pure confusion.

"Weird teacher?" Crescent uttered.

"Huh? Oh crap!" he yelled before spinning around and sitting on whatever it was he was punching."Hi." he added nervously.

"What are you doing here? I thought I told you that I'd be on vacation for two days."


"Whatever. As long as you're here, you can teach Crescent proper speaking."

"Okay. See you in a few seconds. Just let me finish trying to get my...keys, out of this crack."

"Your car keys?"


"Need help?" Mathews knew that Phillip was lying, but he also knew that Phillip, with the time he's seen him, that the creepy teacher abhorred theft.

"Uhhh. No. I'll be fine."

"Well, we're going back inside. We need some time to recuperate on...what just happened." Mathews gave a bland face staring into the open.

"Okay. Have fun with that." the teacher waved his hand and gave a smile.

Finally, when the door closed, his smile gave way to a frown, and he turned around to stare at a tiny little thing with wings that seemed to be brutally beat up.

"I told you not to come around here."

"You'll pay for this. Fairies are powerful creatures. You don't know what you got yourself into."

"Like I didn't know what I got myself into when I saw a creature that inspired me to dress up like this? Heh. "

Phillip smirked, and lift the tiny fairy in the air by the wings. Then he "whisper-yelled":

"Gut punch! Gut punch! Gut punch! Sewer throw!"

As the evil little creature coughed, it found itself thrown through a hole in the road that tossed in the...ahem...FRESH waters underneath civilization. The teacher wiped his hands of this affair and headed straight towards his student's house with a wide smile of satisfaction on his face.

Meanwhile, both Mathews and Crescent had actually decided to pass out on the couch, with Fore actually in some weird, painful position, while Crescent decided to roll herself up into a ball on his belly. It would've been more useful on his head, as he would've achieved some form of capillary success.

Phillip, as he closed the door, had his head fill with ideas to try and wake them up. That is, until he saw another one of those annoying winged creatures approaching said ball of fur with the most simplistic weapon ever: a knife. The weird teacher had a bland, unamused expression on his face, and walked towards the creature. Before it struck, it turned its head to someone clearing their throat. The fairy's eyes widened as it saw that it had been caught, only to be slapped to the floor, then kicked out of a window that Phillip took his time to unlock. Yet, even as the guy wiped his hands clean of the incident, there were weird mole-like creatures on the floor "discreetly" crawling towards the couch. So, with equal discreetness, and with his arms behind his back, Phillip walked on the moles, dragged them while they were still under his feet, then, as he was outside and as they were still stuck to his shoes, flicked them off with a stick. He closed the door and thought to himself:

"Great. Fairies everywhere. I thought they weren't real! Meh. Mathews must have an electric fly-swatter somewhere. Maybe I should wake them up."

And that he did. Phillip simply walked up to the two sleeping logs to see that Crescent decided to lie down on Mathews' face, with her belly outstretched into the air. Opathy restrained himself from waking her up by blowing on her belly. Instead, he preferred to slap them both awake.

"OW! Why?" Mathews yelled as he put a hand to his cheek, until he finally noticed Crescent on his face.

"Why am I on your face?" Crescent wondered out loud.

"You fell asleep." Phillip said with lowered eyelids, a bent over position, and a smile on his face.

"What are you smiling at?"

"Nothing." his smile widened, as if trying to mock someone even more.

The little filly finally looked down and gasped in horror as she covered herself with her astral tail. "Bad person!" she screamed with an extremely high pitched voice.

"Oh. Please. I think I'll have to stay with you today, though. You seem a bit...drowzy."

"What, you're a maid now?" Mathews look shocked as he took Crescent off his face.

"I do many things. After all, just being a wandering teacher isn't very paying."

"So I suppose you want me to pay you more?"

"The fee was already added in when you wanted me to be a baby-sitter as well."


In the corner of his contact lens eyes, Phillip noticed something weird and spidery starting to walk into Mathews' room.

"Then we'll just stay here in the living room."

"I prefer to go pway in my room."

"You still have that mix-match, Crescent. We'll need to work on that...tomorrow. I can see that you two had a rough day. A good night's sleep would be good."

"Then shouldn't you go home? I mean, it is six."

"Not really. Consider me as an extra security measure."


"Great! I'll start with your room. Rooms are always the worst." he finished with a frown, only to jet into the room like...well...a jet.

There, he saw the giant spider busy trying to hide itself under the covers. It hadn't noticed Phillip, who quietly closed the door and crept up on the spider. He grabbed one of its legs and ripped it off, but placed a pillow on the less-than-spider-esque mouth to muffle the screams. He slowly closened towards the thing's eyes and made it actually sweat.

"Hey, there." he said with a weird, creepy undertone."Ah couldn't help but see you was tryin' ta hurt mah freyends. I just wante' to-*gasp*."his voice changed to a deeper and more energetic tone."Good heavens! Just look at the time!"

The creature screamed one last time.

Meanwhile, the wittle fiwwy had arranged her smaller stuffed animals into a crowd while she stood proudly on the bigger ones, boasting about something.

"I'm the queen of the world! You shall all bow down beneath my might. I am more powerful than all of you. You are my subjects. My pawns to use. I am the queen, and you must obey your queen. All hail-"

"BLAH!" Phillip yelled with his tongue stuck out and with the door nearly embedded into the wall.

The little filly squeaked and fell over her giant elephant, and into the tinier stuffed animals. One hind leg was sticking out from a bunch of tiny monkeys that looked like they were pulling on her leg, while a few smiling tigers, lions, and bears seemed to be nomming her face. A rebellion had already started, and it was successful in overthrowing their evil, yet adorable, ruler.

"Look what I found: some bouncy balls." Phillip smiled as he held three black balls.

"Bouncy balls? What's that?"

"Just look."

Phillip smashed a ball really hard onto the floor, causing it to bounce everywhere, making Crescent duck under her captors. It finally came to a stop after hitting a giant gorilla. The little filly climbed out from under her bunker with a face full of ecstasy.

"Woah! Can I try one?"


Opathy tossed one to the ball of fuzz, who grabbed it with her magic, looked at it awhile, then randomly tossed it. The ball started bouncing everywhere, and that's when Phillip, without moving his head, saw that near a window, there was another fairy coming in for a kill while walking on the walls. Phillip looked at the ball, then moved into a position where it would bounce on him, then hit the fairy. It did indeed "bonk" him on the head, making him yipe in pain, but the deed was done. The fairy got hit and fell onto a further pile of stuffed animals. As it rubbed its armored head, it saw the giant walking towards it. The weird teacher continued smiling, but suddenly:

"Oops. I tripped! Awaaaaah!"

The fairy gave a silent scream as the giant closened to its crash point, sarcasm in said giant's yell.